Grandma Goes to Court

[jaugu...@verizon.net]

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you,
Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.. He can't build
a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention, he cheated on his wife with three different
women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet
voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
both to the electric chair."