Farting contest comedy routine
Michael Jude Schiano
I believe it was called the great crepitation contest.
I heard a friend's copy,
(which does you no good)
but I believe I saw it in a old Rose's Records Catalog
from Chicago.
I've seen Rose's Records mentioned in a recent rec.music.classical
posting, so I assume they're still big and around.
My advice is to contact that company, keeping in mind the
"crepitation" title, as it might be helpful. Good luck!
(I hope another newsnet response can give you more exact info.
)
-------------------------------michael jude-------------------------------
Larry Schwarcz
That's on the album 'Come again?' from 'Derek and Clive' who are
actually Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
The album is *really* funny and even *more* dirty.
I don't know if it's even in print any more, but, when I got it,
it was an import.
Good Luck...
Larry Schwarcz
HP Cupertino, Ca
l...@hpda.hp.com
Keith Kluksdahl
>A number of years back I heard a hilarious comedy routine
>about a professional farting contest. I believe it was
>British. Anyone else every hear of it? Know where I could get
>a copy of it?
>
>
> Arch Harris ar...@hub.cs.JMU.EDU (134.126.20.10)
> Dept of Computer Science uunet!virginia!jmucshub!arch
> James Madison U. fac_harris@JMUVAX1
> Harrisonburg, VA 22807 (703) 568-6847
>
It's from Gene Tracy's truck driver comedy. Boy does that bring
back memories from childhood. You should be able to find this
stuff in any truckstop.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
| These views are my own, but I may | Keith Kluksdahl |
| be re-programmed tomorrow........ | HP Bedford Falls |
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Tested tough in Alaska. |<---------- So Long ---------->|
Betty Johnson
called THE GREAT CONTEST from Publishers Central Bureau, One
Champion Ave./Dept 272, Avenel, NJ 07131. I have no connection with this
company, just a copy of their catalog in my office.
Ryan D Mathews
Schwarcz) writes:
|>
|> That's on the album 'Come again?' from 'Derek and Clive' who are
|> actually Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
Could someone who has this skit post a transcript?
---------- Ryan Mathews
Internet : mat...@cs.buffalo.edu
Bitnet : mathews%cs.buffalo.edu@ubvm
UUCP :{apple,cornell,decwrl,harvard,rutgers,talcott,ucbvax,uunet}!
cs.buffalo.edu!mathews
Ian Copping
>A number of years back I heard a hilarious comedy routine
>about a professional farting contest. I believe it was
>British. Anyone else every hear of it? Know where I could get
>a copy of it?
>
Now here is a ditty that's sure to please,
of a great farting contest at Shittam-on-pease.
Where all the best arses parade in the field,
to compete for a cup and various shields.
Some lift up there arses and fart the scale,
to compete for a cup and a barrel of ale.
While others whose arses are biggest and strongest,
compete in the section for loudest and longest.
Now this easter evening had drawn a large crowd,
and betting was even on Mrs. Mcleod.
For it was said in the evening edition,
that this ladys arse was in perfect condition.
Old Mrs. Jones had a perfect backside,
with a bunch of red hair and a wart on each side.
She fancied her chances of winning with ease,
having trained on a diet of cabbage and peas.
Mrs. Mcnab was content to stone wall,
she fancied her chances of beating them all.
She once dropped a fart that beat the church organ,
and gassed the old verger poor Mr. Morgan.
The judges approached and ascended the stand,
and thus they addressed the popular band.
"The contest is one as shown on the bills,
we've forbidden the use of injections and pills."
The ladies lined up for the signal to start,
and old Mrs. Jones had to fart the first fart.
The peoples looked on in silence and wonder,
and the BBC broadcast a warning of thunder.
Then Mrs. Mcnab took a step to the front,
and started by doing a remarkable stunt.
With legs wide open and tightly clenched hand,
she blew off the roof of the five shilling stand.
But Mrs. Mcleod reckoned nothing of this,
she'd been drinking tea and was all wind and piss.
She took up her stand, all opponents defied,
but unluckily shit......and was disqualified.
Mrs. Bingle appeared amid roars of applause,
and promptly proceeded to pull down her drawers.
And tho' it was thought that her chances were small,
she beat the whole lot, she outfarted them all.
She beat the whole lot she stood farting alone,
and the crowd were impressed with the sweetness of tone.
The judges agreed without hindrance or pause,
"First prize Mrs. Bingle, pull up your draws."
She walked to the rostrum with maidenly gait,
and took from the Vicar a set of gold plate.
And turned to the crowd as they started to sing,
and farted the verses of God Save The King.
Ian Copping
G A Edwards
It's on CD!!!!!!
G