Google Groups no longer supports new Usenet posts or subscriptions. Historical content remains viewable.
Dismiss

Dare To Repair

6 views
Skip to first unread message

A. Siegfried

unread,
Feb 1, 2004, 12:08:30 PM2/1/04
to
No need to dump it if it's broken. With a little courage, even huge
problems can be solved:

http://feisar.de/content/gfx_en_daretorepair.html

more nonsense at: http://feisar.de

nemo

unread,
Feb 4, 2004, 12:30:15 PM2/4/04
to

A. Siegfried <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:bvjbog$spbfc$2...@ID-25388.news.uni-berlin.de...

> No need to dump it if it's broken. With a little courage, even huge
> problems can be solved:
>
More like B'Liar Tory Pair over here!

Somebody chucked whitewash all over the Drowning Street gates this morning
and there was a protest in the Visitors' Gallery in Parliament.

It's because the report into the death of the WMD scientist was far too
sheepish when it came to criticising the government. What was it called now?
. . . Ah, yes! The Mutton Report!

As far as Tony B'Liar is concerned, WMD definitely means Wanger Manually
Deployed!


Tim Bruening

unread,
Feb 5, 2004, 2:52:08 AM2/5/04
to
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message news:<H_9Ub.66740$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...

Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:05:00 AM4/29/04
to
"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
news:<H_9Ub.66740$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...

Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:05:16 AM4/29/04
to

nemo wrote:

> I used keep an eye on the price of my shares in a company making boil
> ointment by means of a bum puss ticker!

Do you have a cat-a-log of those prices?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:05:41 AM4/29/04
to

nemo wrote:

> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:q30820pk6odgh6hq8...@4ax.com...
> > On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 18:58:24 GMT, Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> found
> > these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >Birds never fly in pterrible weather.
> > >Yeah, you ptoleme that already!
> > >I ptomaine puns, it/s hard not to repeat myself!
> > So, what's pneu.?
> >
> Car tyres in France!

I refuse to drink Pee Tea!

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:06:02 AM4/29/04
to
"ynotssor" <"ynotssor"> wrote in message
news:<40249...@corp.newsgroups.com>...
> "Palema" <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> news:aeSUb.19727$pz5....@newssvr24.news.prodigy.com
>
> > At the next election, I hope they don't Tampa with the votes
>
> I heard we'll be using on lyin' voting machines.

Tampa: Father of Tam. Tampa had gotten a Chad pregnant!

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:07:32 AM4/29/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Bewaaarrrrre! There's a new VIRUS about called lion32!!
>
> It makes your PC freeze 32 times and each time when you press the reset
> button Scandisk says it's scanning because ". . one or more of your disk
> drives may have e-roars on it"!

Are you sure you're not lion to me?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:07:49 AM4/29/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Bewaaarrrrre! There's a new VIRUS about called lion32!!
>
> It makes your PC freeze 32 times and each time when you press the reset
> button Scandisk says it's scanning because ". . one or more of your disk
> drives may have e-roars on it"!

What a catastrophe! Can you cat-a-log this virus?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:08:20 AM4/29/04
to

artyw wrote:

> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> > At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
>
> Dont Polk fun at our presidents.

Don't Tippacanoe!

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:08:34 AM4/29/04
to

Palema wrote:

> These are great! I wish there was a way of Lincoln them together.

Andrew the curtains together.

Clinton: A heavy sex President.

Don't get Bushwhacked again in 2004!

Kerry onto victory!

Reagan: President who shoots laser beams.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:08:49 AM4/29/04
to

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these unused
> words floating about:
>


> >Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >
> >Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
>

> Carter explain?

If you can a Ford the time.

Did Nixon ever visit Dixon?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:09:07 AM4/29/04
to

Palema wrote:

> mike wheeELer wrote:
>
> > In article <2m6a20pca10fbvl50...@4ax.com>,
> > jaS...@gbr.online.com, J. A. Mc. was looking at the world oddly when:


> >
> >>On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these unused
> >>words floating about:
> >>
> >>
> >>>Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >

> > news:<68SUb.1256$wt.454@newss


> >
> >>vr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >>
> >>>>At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >>>
> >>>Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> >>
> >>Carter explain?
> >>
> >

> > He say nix on that idea..
> >
> Ag knew that would happen!

Spiro: Row of primitive weapons.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:09:22 AM4/29/04
to
"Nathaniel Lind (New)" wrote:

> "Cybe R. Wizard" <cyber_...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:20030903223417.387...@mindspring.com...
> > I got a new mobile communications device with a tape dispenser built in.
> > Yes, it my new cellophone.
> >
> > Cybe R. Wizard
> > --
> > Unofficial "Wizard of Odds," A.H.P.
> > Original PORG "Water Wizard," R.P.
> > "Wize(ned) Wizard," A.P.F-P-Y.
> > Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L
> Is it scotch-made? how clear is the signal? does it have any magic features?

Does it throw up with Mo' bile?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:11:50 AM4/29/04
to

s...@w.w.w.w wrote:

> Kinda lame but...
> What do Dragons eat when they are trying to loose weight?
> Knight lite
>
> or
>
> if you kill a werewolf and skin it and put on the skin does that make you a
> wearwolf?

When Indian vampires die, they are burned in vampyres.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:13:50 AM4/29/04
to

Nehmo Sergheyev wrote:

> I saw a building next the Medical Center with a sign identifying it as
> the Nursing School. I saw nothing wrong with this until I learned babies
> know how to nurse without being taught. And worse than that, this school
> was for adults!

I've often seen ads for Baby Sales, and seen Rash Doors at Kaiser.

Kaiser: German knight.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Apr 29, 2004, 2:14:27 AM4/29/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Q: What do 1960s Bohemian types (without apostrophes) high on Ganja and LSD
> wish each other at this time of year?
>
> A: Hippy Crassmass.

I understand that many high powered politicians and busnessmen are
Bohemians,
meeting each summer in the Bohemian grove.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:42:14 AM5/12/04
to
Subject:
The greatest man ever
Date:
Wed, 28 Apr 2004 23:05:00 -0700
From:
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>
Newsgroups:
alt.jokes, alt.humor, alt.humor.puns, rec.humor,
alt.newgroup.for.fun.fun.fun
References:
1 , 2


"nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
news:<H_9Ub.66740$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...

Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:43:24 AM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:46:11 AM5/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

> J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:q30820pk6odgh6hq8...@4ax.com...

> > On Fri, 06 Feb 2004 18:58:24 GMT, Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> found


> > these unused words floating about:
> >

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:46:35 AM5/12/04
to
"ynotssor" <"ynotssor"> wrote in message
news:<40249...@corp.newsgroups.com>...
> "Palema" <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:46:56 AM5/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Bewaaarrrrre! There's a new VIRUS about called lion32!!
>
> It makes your PC freeze 32 times and each time when you press the reset
> button Scandisk says it's scanning because ". . one or more of your disk
> drives may have e-roars on it"!

Are you sure you're not lion to me?

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:47:08 AM5/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Bewaaarrrrre! There's a new VIRUS about called lion32!!
>
> It makes your PC freeze 32 times and each time when you press the reset
> button Scandisk says it's scanning because ". . one or more of your disk
> drives may have e-roars on it"!

What a catastrophe! Can you cat-a-log this virus?

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:47:31 AM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:47:45 AM5/12/04
to

Palema wrote:

> artyw wrote:
> > Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...


> >
> >>At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >
> >
> > Dont Polk fun at our presidents.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:47:56 AM5/12/04
to

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these unused
> words floating about:
>


> >Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >
> >Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
>

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:48:10 AM5/12/04
to

Palema wrote:

> mike wheeELer wrote:
>
> > In article <2m6a20pca10fbvl50...@4ax.com>,
> > jaS...@gbr.online.com, J. A. Mc. was looking at the world oddly when:
> >

> >>On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these unused
> >>words floating about:
> >>
> >>
> >>>Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >

> > news:<68SUb.1256$wt.454@newss


> >
> >>vr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >>
> >>>>At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >>>
> >>>Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> >>
> >>Carter explain?
> >>
> >

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:48:23 AM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:49:01 AM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:49:17 AM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 12, 2004, 4:49:40 AM5/12/04
to

nemo

unread,
May 12, 2004, 2:16:27 PM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A1E524...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

What about the six City types in "O-Kay for Sound" with Bud Flannigoon and
Cheese-knee Allen. A film that won a place in the Kosher version of the
Guiness Book of Records, Tapes, CDs and DVDs for the worst and most
outragious accents!


nemo

unread,
May 12, 2004, 3:00:31 PM5/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A1E4FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Nope. Vanpyres are when a number of enclosed cargo-space trucks crash into
each other and catch fire.


nemo

unread,
May 13, 2004, 3:08:47 PM5/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A1E480...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Send me your answer in a *.RARRRRRRR file!


nemo

unread,
May 13, 2004, 3:11:17 PM5/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A1E48C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

In the words of the song: Symantec and Muzzeltec and Symantec and Muzzeltec
. . . might be able to!

Allain who??


nemo

unread,
May 13, 2004, 6:06:51 PM5/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A1E3AC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
No. Butt I did see a bargain advertised in the window of a gay bar keen on
recycling stickers.

It said, "Special offer. One bum per sticker!"


Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 4:43:08 AM5/15/04
to

nemo wrote:

Which film got honored in the Gentile version?

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 4:47:26 AM5/15/04
to
When a vampire can't find what he wants in a store, he gets a suncheck.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 5:08:31 AM5/15/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 5:08:51 AM5/15/04
to
nemo wrote:

> I used keep an eye on the price of my shares in a company making boil
> ointment by means of a bum puss ticker!

Do you have a cat-a-log of those prices?

Sticker: Glue dog.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 5:16:33 AM5/15/04
to

nemo wrote:

Bumkin: Children of beach bums.

Bumping: Chinese beach bums.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 5:45:51 AM5/15/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40A1E366...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...


> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:<H_9Ub.66740$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > A. Siegfried <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message
> > > news:bvjbog$spbfc$2...@ID-25388.news.uni-berlin.de...
> > > > No need to dump it if it's broken. With a little courage, even huge
> > > > problems can be solved:
> > > >
> > > More like B'Liar Tory Pair over here!
> > >
> > > Somebody chucked whitewash all over the Drowning Street gates this
> morning
> > > and there was a protest in the Visitors' Gallery in Parliament.
> > >
> > > It's because the report into the death of the WMD scientist was far too
> > > sheepish when it came to criticising the government. What was it called
> now?
> > > . . . Ah, yes! The Mutton Report!
> > >
> > > As far as Tony B'Liar is concerned, WMD definitely means Wanger Manually
> > > Deployed!
> >
> > Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.
> >

> UK Mutton: 2240 lb dog.
>
> Hundredweight: A very long bus queue.
>
> Sir Loin: Butcher knight.
>
> Furlong: 220 yard long mink.

Button: 2,000 pound ass.

nemo

unread,
May 15, 2004, 8:46:53 AM5/15/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A5D81C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Which film got honoured in the Gentile version?

Somesingk about fishing maggots, maybe?

Narr. Prrrobably somesingk by Frank Randle or Nat Jackley and Co. for zzeir
outragious Norss of Enkland accents already.


nemo

unread,
May 15, 2004, 8:55:08 AM5/15/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A5DE23...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Found supporting the neurones in a happy brain: Glee-all cells!

http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?glial+cell

Pathology: Footway surfaced with native timbers.


Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 10:05:21 PM5/15/04
to

nemo wrote:

Pathology: A sick trail.

Tim Bruening

unread,
May 15, 2004, 10:06:24 PM5/15/04
to

nemo wrote:

Logarithm: Dancing timber workers.

Algorithm: Dancing 2000 Democratic candidate.

nemo

unread,
May 16, 2004, 8:45:41 AM5/16/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40A6CC61...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Logarithm: Walloping someone on the head with lump of the branch of a tree
to a strict tempo.


Elisabeth Müller

unread,
May 19, 2004, 6:08:26 PM5/19/04
to

Mostly the Czech politicians.

Elisabeth Müller

unread,
May 20, 2004, 1:49:21 PM5/20/04
to
On Wed, 12 May 2004 01:49:17 -0700, Tim Bruening
<tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote:


>Kaiser: German knight.

Wrong. It's of course the Emperor.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jun 12, 2004, 4:42:50 AM6/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

Which film got honored in the Gentile version?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Jun 12, 2004, 4:48:55 AM6/12/04
to
Rachmaninov? Richter? Rostropovich? (These three are giants in
Russian music).

nemo

unread,
Jun 12, 2004, 7:49:00 AM6/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40CAC20A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Ask them . .

http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/


nemo

unread,
Jun 12, 2004, 7:53:18 AM6/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:40CAC377...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Rachmaninov? Richter? Rostropovich? (These three are giants in
> Russian music).

Rachmaninov? I say he's still a cross between a UK thug landlord and a shot
in Billiards!

And what about Shostakovich? Even if he did get a humerus kick in the
Bartoks in Concerto for Orchestra.


Tim Bruening

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 8:05:13 AM9/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 8:09:40 AM9/12/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 8:11:36 AM9/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

Bumkin: Children of beach bums.

Bumping: Chinese beach bums.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 8:14:32 AM9/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40A1E366...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

nemo

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 3:23:27 PM9/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41443CF8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Cerebum: Politician's brain and its location.


nemo

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 3:30:38 PM9/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41443DA8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

That's a lot of donkey! How big is an American elephant?


nemo

unread,
Sep 12, 2004, 3:34:26 PM9/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41443C84...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

What's that got to do with Tony B'Liar's wanger?

Come to thin cough it, does Cheri have anything to do with Tony B'Liar's
wanger - or is he a Very Impotent Person?


sre

unread,
Sep 14, 2004, 2:07:26 AM9/14/04
to

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41443B79...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> When a vampire can't find what he wants in a store, he gets a suncheck.

does he pay with money from the blood bank?


Tim Bruening

unread,
Nov 11, 2004, 10:42:44 PM11/11/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

Tim Bruening

unread,
Nov 11, 2004, 10:46:01 PM11/11/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40A1E366...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...


> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:<H_9Ub.66740$pD4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> > > A. Siegfried <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message
> > > news:bvjbog$spbfc$2...@ID-25388.news.uni-berlin.de...
> > > > No need to dump it if it's broken. With a little courage, even huge
> > > > problems can be solved:
> > > >
> > > More like B'Liar Tory Pair over here!
> > >
> > > Somebody chucked whitewash all over the Drowning Street gates this
> morning
> > > and there was a protest in the Visitors' Gallery in Parliament.
> > >
> > > It's because the report into the death of the WMD scientist was far too
> > > sheepish when it came to criticising the government. What was it called
> now?
> > > . . . Ah, yes! The Mutton Report!
> > >
> > > As far as Tony B'Liar is concerned, WMD definitely means Wanger Manually
> > > Deployed!
> >
> > Mutton: 2,000 pound dog.
> >

Tim Bruening

unread,
Nov 11, 2004, 10:57:43 PM11/11/04
to
Eggplant: Plant that lays eggs.

Lactating: Musical milk.

Ovulating: Musical eggs.

Succubus: To suck in an entire mass transit vehicle.

nemo

unread,
Nov 12, 2004, 7:36:02 AM11/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41943134...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Plumbum: Arse made of lead.

Bumbulum: Ancient instrument or Japanese porn popular with bees.

http://67.1911encyclopedia.org/B/BU/BUMBULUM.htm


nemo

unread,
Nov 12, 2004, 8:25:03 PM11/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:419431F9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

That's a lotta donkey!

Rod, pole or perch: Exercise equipment for same.


nemo

unread,
Nov 12, 2004, 8:29:07 PM11/12/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:419434B7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Eggplant: Plant that lays eggs.
>
> Lactating: Musical milk.
>
> Ovulating: Musical eggs.

And the Morula the story is . . . ?


>
> Succubus: To suck in an entire mass transit vehicle.

Busbar: Mobile electric pub.


nemo

unread,
Nov 13, 2004, 3:55:24 AM11/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41959F0B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Gentile: Non-Jewish floor covering.

Very stale, hard Matzos: Jewish floor covering.


nemo

unread,
Nov 13, 2004, 3:56:04 AM11/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41959F62...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Confirmatory: British Conservatives running a criminal company.

Yeah. It's called The City of London!


Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 6, 2004, 3:36:08 PM12/6/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:40A1E524...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Q: What do 1960s Bohemian types (without apostrophes) high on Ganja and
> LSD
> > > wish each other at this time of year?
> > >
> > > A: Hippy Crassmass.
> >
> > I understand that many high powered politicians and busnessmen are
> > Bohemians,
> > meeting each summer in the Bohemian grove.
>
> What about the six City types in "O-Kay for Sound" with Bud Flannigoon and
> Cheese-knee Allen. A film that won a place in the Kosher version of the
> Guiness Book of Records, Tapes, CDs and DVDs for the worst and most
> outragious accents!

Which film got honored in the Gentile version?

Gentile: Non-Jewish floor coverings.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 6, 2004, 3:35:28 PM12/6/04
to

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 6, 2004, 3:38:04 PM12/6/04
to
Looping: Toilet bell.

Looting: A toilet bell that steals.

Lupine: A toilet tree.

Lupine: A wolf tree.

nemo

unread,
Dec 6, 2004, 6:32:34 PM12/6/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41B4C290...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Gypsy: Ocean full of East End Cockney pain.


nemo

unread,
Dec 6, 2004, 6:35:36 PM12/6/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41B4C2B8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

Floorboards as opposed to best quality carpets??

Ductile: Flexible lake covering.

Pteroductile: Flexible lake covering with wings.


Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 12, 2004, 8:16:02 AM12/12/04
to

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> news:41B4C32C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...

> Supine: A stew tree lying down lying face upwards.
>
> Atropine: A tree having a fully-dilated eye examination. (^!^) Very
> uncomfortable indeed!
>
> Cryptopine: An encoded tree.
>
> Gnoscopine: A tree possessing intellectual or esoteric knowledge of
> spiritual things.

What's a stew tree? Does meat in pots grow on it?

nemo

unread,
Dec 13, 2004, 9:33:33 AM12/13/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41BC4491...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
Narr. It'd just poo tree fy.

The ex-president of Indonesia was sick on a poo tree, in spite of having an
electric personality and forename, Megawati.

Wahid give the presidency away I've no eye deer.

By the same Toucan, I wish I had a Bottle Tree in my garden. It'd keep me in
Guiness right through the holidays!

Brachychiton: The birds use its branches as a toilet!

It was an act of pure genus to come up with that one!


Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 2:50:40 AM12/14/04
to
10 years to 12/13/14.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 3:44:54 AM12/14/04
to
12 years to 12/14/16.

nemo

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 8:37:26 AM12/14/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41BE9B50...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> 10 years to 12/13/14.

'Will I still be here,' I ask myself.

'No,' I answer myself. I can't stay sat in this chair for ten years!!


nemo

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 9:13:25 AM12/14/04
to

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> 12 years to 12/14/16.

Will any of us still be here then?


nemo

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 11:30:49 AM12/14/04
to

<dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
>

10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :

Dracula feathers!


Randolf Richardson

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 12:42:38 PM12/14/04
to
""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:

You have such dashing wit!

--
Randolf Richardson, pro-active spam fighter - r...@8x.ca
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Sending eMail to other SMTP servers is a privilege.

nemo

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 1:37:00 PM12/14/04
to

Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...

> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> >> nemo wrote:
> >>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>>
> >>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
> >>>
> >>> Will any of us still be here then?
> >>
> >> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
> >
> > 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
> >
> > Dracula feathers!
>
> You have such dashing wit!
>
Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!


Cybe R. Wizard

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 2:50:01 PM12/14/04
to
dobe...@yahoo.com wrote:

> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!

Please, do not -0-pun until Christmas. Even after that, please include
a pun or snip ahp from your groups list.

Cybe

Randolf Richardson

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 4:13:32 PM12/14/04
to
""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
> news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
>> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>>> news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>>>> nemo wrote:
>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>>>>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>>>>>
>>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
>>>>>
>>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
>>>>
>>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
>>>
>>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
>>>
>>> Dracula feathers!
>>
>> You have such dashing wit!
>
> Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!

Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).

Randolf Richardson

unread,
Dec 15, 2004, 3:46:05 AM12/15/04
to
""dobey the elf" <dobe...@yahoo.com>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:

> Randolf Richardson wrote:
>> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
>> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>> >>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> >>> news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>> >>>> nemo wrote:
>> >>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
>> >>>>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
>> >>>>
>> >>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
>> >>>
>> >>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
>> >>>
>> >>> Dracula feathers!
>> >>
>> >> You have such dashing wit!
>> >
>> > Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!
>>
>> Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).
>
> Hire on? What day?

No way -- given that he's so smooth, I'd be worried that he might try to pull
an Enron on me!

dobe...@yahoo.com

unread,
Dec 14, 2004, 9:18:11 AM12/14/04
to

dobey the elf

unread,
Dec 15, 2004, 12:05:57 AM12/15/04
to

Randolf Richardson wrote:
> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
> > news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> >>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> >>>> nemo wrote:
> >>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
> >>>>
> >>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
> >>>
> >>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
> >>>
> >>> Dracula feathers!
> >>
> >> You have such dashing wit!
> >
> > Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!
>
> Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).

Hire on? What day?

nemo

unread,
Dec 15, 2004, 7:33:57 PM12/15/04
to

Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns95BF8811...@24.64.223.211...

> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
> > news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> >>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >>> news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> >>>> nemo wrote:
> >>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
> >>>>
> >>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
> >>>
> >>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
> >>>
> >>> Dracula feathers!
> >>
> >> You have such dashing wit!
> >
> > Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!
>
> Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).
>
Is he an iron though?

(Cockenay Rhyming Slang.)


nemo

unread,
Dec 15, 2004, 7:33:59 PM12/15/04
to

Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns95C095A...@24.64.223.211...

> ""dobey the elf" <dobe...@yahoo.com>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> > Randolf Richardson wrote:
> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> >> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
> >> > news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
> >> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> >> >>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >> >>> news:1103033891.8...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> >> >>>> nemo wrote:
> >> >>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >> >>>>> news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
> >> >>>>>
> >> >>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
> >> >>>>
> >> >>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
> >> >>>
> >> >>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
> >> >>>
> >> >>> Dracula feathers!
> >> >>
> >> >> You have such dashing wit!
> >> >
> >> > Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!
> >>
> >> Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).
> >
> > Hire on? What day?
>
> No way -- given that he's so smooth, I'd be worried that he might try to
pull
> an Enron on me!
>
Enron? Ain't that where a chicken farmer with a speech defect keeps 'em.


Dobey the elf

unread,
Dec 15, 2004, 10:16:26 PM12/15/04
to

Yes. They are all cooped up.

nemo

unread,
Dec 16, 2004, 12:01:36 PM12/16/04
to

Dobey the elf <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1103166986.5...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
No pullet holes?


Randolf Richardson

unread,
Dec 16, 2004, 8:23:16 PM12/16/04
to
""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
> Dobey the elf <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:1103166986.5...@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com...
>> nemo wrote:
>> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns95C095A...@24.64.223.211...
>> > > ""dobey the elf" <dobe...@yahoo.com>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>> > > > Randolf Richardson wrote:
>> > > >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>> > > >> > Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
>> > > >> > news:Xns95BF645...@24.64.223.211...
>> > > >> >> ""nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>> > > >> >>> <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>> > > >> >>> news:1103033891.818135.137560@

>> > > >> >>> c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
>> > > >> >>>> nemo wrote:
>> > > >> >>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
>> > > >> >>>>> message news:41BEA806...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>> > > >> >>>>>
>> > > >> >>>>>> 12 years to 12/14/16.
>> > > >> >>>>>
>> > > >> >>>>> Will any of us still be here then?
>> > > >> >>>>
>> > > >> >>>> You think that a long time? Wait until 12/14/16/18 !!!
>> > > >> >>>
>> > > >> >>> 10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 . . . :
>> > > >> >>>
>> > > >> >>> Dracula feathers!
>> > > >> >>
>> > > >> >> You have such dashing wit!
>> > > >> >
>> > > >> > Yer. It's just dashed out the door with a smoothing iron!
>> > > >>
>> > > >> Aye, Ron is smooth (or at least that's what I've been told).
>> > > >
>> > > > Hire on? What day?
>> > >
>> > > No way -- given that he's so smooth, I'd be worried that he
>> > > might try to pull an Enron on me!
>> >
>> > Enron? Ain't that where a chicken farmer with a speech defect
>> > keeps 'em.
>>
>> Yes. They are all cooped up.
>
> No pullet holes?

Dick Chickany was quoted as saying "no comment."

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 17, 2004, 2:47:22 AM12/17/04
to

dobe...@yahoo.com wrote:

When will that be?

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 17, 2004, 2:46:29 AM12/17/04
to
14 years to 12/16/18.

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 17, 2004, 2:57:50 AM12/17/04
to

nemo wrote:

Why feathers?

nemo

unread,
Dec 18, 2004, 3:13:12 AM12/18/04
to

Randolf Richardson <r...@8x.ca> wrote in message
news:Xns95C1B26...@24.64.223.211...
To which Dubbaya the Shrub, after finding no pepper and salt for his TV
burger, replied, "No condiment!"

Tim Bruening

unread,
Dec 18, 2004, 10:27:57 PM12/18/04
to

nemo wrote:

He put a TV between two buns?

dobey the elf

unread,
Dec 18, 2004, 11:10:22 PM12/18/04
to

And ten a them there burgers please!

Cybe R. Wizard

unread,
Dec 19, 2004, 6:28:59 AM12/19/04
to
On 18 Dec 2004 20:10:22 -0800

You're aerial card, you know that?

Cybe R. Wizard
--
Unofficial "Wizard of Odds," A.H.P.
Original PORG "Water Wizard," R.P.
"Wize(ned) Wizard," A.P.F-P-Y.
Barely Tolerated Wizard, A.J.L & A.A.L

It is loading more messages.
0 new messages