Canalonical Acronym List (Last Posting from me)

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PH

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Jun 23, 1994, 8:36:47 AM6/23/94
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Well, I am leaving university now. This is now my last posting of this list.
If anyone wants to take over this list, go right ahead. If not, save this
list, cause I'm not posting it anymore.


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Canonical List Of Acronyms


Acronym Alphabetic Collocation Reducing Or Numbering Your Memory
A Concise Reduction Of Nomenclature Yielding Mnemonics
Another Cheap Round Of Network Yawn Makers
A Capitalised Representation of Names You Memorize

Airlines

AA Abort! Abort!
Always Awful

AI Allah Informed

Alitalia Always Late In Transit, Always Late In Arrival
Airplane Landed In Tokyo And Luggage In Atlanta
A Little Italian Tit And Lotsa Italitan Ass
A Little Italian Tradition And Lotsa Italian Attitude

American A Miricle Each Rider Is Currently Alive Now
Airline Meals Eaten Regularly Induces Cramps and
Nausea

AUA Almost Unknown Airline

AWA Always Wasting Assets

BA Bloody Awful
British Apoplectic

BEA Better Eat Afterwards

BOAC Better On A Camel
Blast Off And Crash

Boeing Broken Off Engines In Numerous Gardens

BWIA Baggage Wandering In Africa
Better Walk If you're Able
Born to Wait In Airports
But Will I Arrive?

CAAC Chinese Airlines Always Cancel

Dan Air Dangerous And Nearly Always Incredibly Rough

Delta Damaged Engines Limit Take-off Ability
Departures Extra-Late, Tardy Arrivals
Directed Everybody's Luggage To Atlanta
Doesn't Even Leave The Airport
Doesn't Ever Let Terrorists Aboard
Doesn't Experience Like This Andrenalize?
Don't Even Let Them Aboard
Drunken Engineers Land Too Abruptly

EAA Even Apes Aviate

El Al Egyptian Louting Arab Loathing
Every Landing Always Late
Every Landing Always Lousy
Everyones Luggage Always Lost

Finnair Flies Ideally? Nah, Not Airbourne In Reality

JAL Journey Always Late

JAT Joke About Time

Liat Luggage Is Always Tardy

Lot Lots Of Trouble

Lufthansa Let Us Fiddle The Hostess And Not Say Anything

MAS May Actually Shit

Northwest Nobody Out Ranks This Horrid, Worthless,
Excruciatingly Sluggish Transport

Olympic Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash

PAL Prick Always Long

Pan Am Passengers Always Need A Mortician
Pilots Are Not A Must
Poor Airline Needs Any Money

PIA Passenger's Illegal Abductor
Perhaps I Arrive
Please Inform Allah

PSA Paul's Saturday Airline

PWA Pete's Wobbly Airline
Piddly Widdly Airline
PLease Wait Awhile

Qantas Queasy and Nauseous, Tired And Sick
Queers And Nymphomaniacs Trained As Stewards
Quick And Nasty Transportation, Australian Style
Quite A Neat Trick, Arriving Safely
Quite A Nice Trip, Any Survivors?
Quits Air-travel, Next Time Approaches Ship

Sabena Such A Bad Experience - Never Again

SAHSA Stay At Home, Stay Alive

SAS Service After Sex
Sex And Satisfaction
Such A S***

Sia Sex In the Air
Singapore Imitates America

TACA Take Another Carrier Always
Take A Coffin Along
Tome Alcohol Cuanda Aborda

TAP Take A Parachute
Take Another Plane

Thy They Hate You

TWA That Was Accidental
That Was Awful
Travel With Arabs
Teeny Weeny Airlines
Try Walking Across
Try With Another
Today's Worst Airline
Tomorrow We'll Arrive
Tomorrow's Widebody Accident
Totally Wasted Airlines

United U Need Insurance That Exempts Death
Usually Not Enclined To Eliminate Disasters

USAir (used to be Allegheny Airlines):
Unfortunately Still Allegheny In Reality

Uta Unlikely To Arrive
Unable To Ascend

Varig Virgin's Are Rare In Glasgow

Virgin Very Interesting Ride: Going Into Nymphos

Cars and Bikes

AMC All Makes off Cars
Almost Makes Corners

Audi Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW Big Money Waster
Born Mighty Wealthy
Break My Windows
Boring Middle-aged Wheels
Belongs to My Wife

Buick Big Ugly Imported Car Killer

Dodge Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
Drips Old Dirt & Grease Everywhere

Fiat Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again, Tony
Fix It All the Time
Failed In All Tests

Ford Fucker Only Runs Damaged
First On Race Day
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On River-bed, Drowned
Found On Rubbish Dump
Found On Road, Dead
Fuck Off, Rally Drivers
Fucked On Race Day
Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge

Honda Hang On - Nicely Dangerous Apperatus
Helping Out Nips Dominating America

Mazda Making A Zillion Dollars Anually

Mini Made It - Now Indisposed

Nissan Never In Synch - Screeching Awful Noises
Needs Immediate Salvage So Abandon Now

Obupos Old Beat Up Piece Of Shit

Olds Old Ladies Driving Slowly

Pontiac Poor Old Nerd Thinks It's a Cadilac

RAC Ruins All Cars

Rolls Royce Regarded Only as Luxury Life Style.
Runs Over Your Current Expences

Saab Some Accesories Always Broken

Sable Same Auto But Less Engineering

Stop (ie rule) Spin Tyres On Pavement

Toyota Too Often Yanks Overrate This Automobile

VW Very Worthless


Computers and Language

ABE ABend Everything

Amiga A Merely Insignificant Games Addiction
Asinine Machine Invented for Gaming Adolescents

APL All Programming Languages

Apple All Programmers Pursuing Legal Ends

BASIC Bloody Awful System It Creates

BBB Blame IBM

BBC Bloody Brilliant Computer

BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator

BPO Branch on Power Off

BTO Blame The Operator

BTP Blame The Programmer

BTU Blame The User

C Crap

COBOL Complies Only Because Of Luck
Complete Obsolete Business Orientated Language

Dos Defunct Operating System

EJZ Excrement & Jump on Zero

IBM Incredibly Bad Machine
Incredibly Boring Macines
Incredibly Beautiful Machines
Industry's Big Mistake
I Built Microsoft
I'm Building Macintosh
It's Being Mended
It's Been Malfunctioning
Imence Ball of Muck
I Believe in Memorex
It's Better than Macintosh
Idiots Built Me
Intense Bowel Movement
Inferior But Marketable?
It's Better Manually
Infinitely Better Macintosh
Indefinitely Buggered Machine
I Bought a Mac
I Broke Mine
I Blame Microsoft
Intentinally Brainless Machines
It's Backwards Man
Incompatible Bloody Machines
Infernal Bloody Monoploy
Internal Beurocratic Mess
Installed By Mistake
Inferior But Marketable
It's Backwards, Man
It Barely Moves
I Buy Mainframes
I Blew Money
Itty Bitty Machines
Itty Bitty Mentality
Incomplete But Marketable
Incepted By Monkeys
Incompetent Bumbling Morons
Immence Blue Monolith
It *Bit* Me!!
Idiotic Brainless Machines
I've Been Mugged
Imitation British Manufacture
Invented By Monkeys

LISP Lots Of Insipid, Stupid Parenthisis
Lots of Irritating, Stupid Parenthesis

MAC Maybe A Computer

Macintosh Machine Always Crashes. If Not, System hangs.

Nimbus Next, I'M Buying Useful System

Pascal Pretty Awful Slow Cunt of A Language

PCMCIA People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms

SPON Switch Processor ON

STS Switch To Spanish

Films, Theatre and Television

Animal House "Adolescents Need Idiotic Moves, And Landis Has
Obliged Us "-Siskel & Ebert.

Dracula Dark Royal As Cunning Undead Lady Attacker

Dune Dull. Uninteresting. Needs Editing

Evita Endless Vivacity In The Argentine

GMTV Give Me The Valium

Hair Hippies And Idiots Rejoice

Jaws Just A White Shark

Mash Medical Army Surviving Horrors

Rambo Rocky As Military Bozo in Orient

Star Trek Space Tirade About Romulan Tyrannical Rule,
Evil Klingons

The Hunt For The Heated Event Has Unfolded Now. That Foxy Old
Red October Red Russian Earns Defection Over Crisis. The
Operative Brought: Enigmatic Ryan.

The Sound This Has Everything: Singing Orphans, Uctuous Nuns,
Of Music Dancing Over Flowery Mountains, Unnecessary
Sweetness In Concert

Twin Peaks The Wierdest Imagary Never Previously Encountered.
Also Kompletely Surreal.

Wayne's World Wacky And Young Newcomers Excite Screen With
Original Repartee, Lunacy, Dialogue

Yentl You Evidently Need Talmudic Learning


Miscellaneous

Adidas Advertising Does Influence Dumb Asshole's Selection
All Day I Dream Of Sex

Aids Adios Infected Dick Sucker
Anally Injected Death Serum
Anus Infected Death Sentence
Another Infected Dick Sucker

BR Bloody Railways

DNA National Dyslexic Association

Hillary's Highly Inexperienced Left Liberals Academic Righteous
Yuppies

Paye Pray As You Earn

Reagan Republican Ex Actor Governed American Nation

UHT Ugh, Horrible Taste


Qualifications

ACCA Any Cunt Can Account
BA Bloody Awful
BEng Brainless Engineer - Not Good
BS Bull Shit
CPA Can't Pass Arithmetic
GCSE Generally Can't Spell Enything
ICMA Incredibly Crooked Misleading Accountant
MBa Married But Available
Master Of Brainless Axioms
Master of Bugger All
Mediocre But Arrogant
Minimal Brains Available
MS More Shit
PhD Piled High & Deep

--
*- * - * - * - * - *Just relax your eyes.
* | | | *| | | | * | | | | * | | | | * | | | |*Stephen "PH" Buxton
*- |-| *|- |-| * |- |-| * |- |-| * |- |-|*mei...@cch.cov.ac.uk
* | | *| | | * | | | * | | | * | | |*mei...@cck.cov.ac.uk

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