A nun Joke
Carol Carroll
curb drinking a bottle of whiskey. He says to the nun "Sister, why are
you drinking" to which she replies "for medicinal purposes". "For
medicinal purposes" the man says and the nun replies "Yes, Mother
Superior is constipated and if she saw me drinking it would give her the
shits"
james s. russell
Ok, so you like nun jokes eh?
How about this one!
A nun is walking home to the convent, a man jumps out of the bushes and
drags her back behind them where he rapes her. After he has had his way
with her he asks, "What will you tell the holy father now?". The nun
replies, "I will tell him that I was walking home to the convent when a
man jumped out of the bushes and raped me twice, if you not too tired."
Jimbo aka "The text, Vic! Don't say the text!"
Michael Reedich
Father Obrian's room and I found a pack of rubbers" The second one said
"Yes, I found them last week. You know what? (he he) I poked a hole in
each one!"
The third nun fainted.
Mike
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The Reedich Family = Michael, Rosemary, Lacy & Michele
mree...@epix.net Central Pennsylvania, USA
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Warren DeVilbiss
A convent in a seedy part of town was having trouble
raising needed funds to keep the convent open. Having
run out of fund raising ideas, the Mother Superior called
a meeting of all her charges to discuss possible options.
After several hours of heated discussion, one young nun
in the back raised her hand.
The following evening, a red light appeared in the front
window of the convent. A lonely man, out for a night
of fun, saw the light and approached the convent, expecting
to be entertained for the evening. Knocking on the door,
one of the sisters answered and invited the man in.
"Sister", the man said, "I saw the red light and assumed
I would be entertained tonight."
The sister replied, "You saw correctly" and asked the man
for $100 for the evening. The man thought the price
was a bit steep, but consented, not wanting to pass up
the opportunity. The sister took the $100 and
told the man to proceed through the door at the back.
The man opened the door and entered a dark hallway. The
door slammed shut behind him and, as his eyes adjusted to
the dark, he found himself in an alley behind the convent.
Looking back at the door, he made out a sign on the door
that read:
"You've just been screwed by the Sisters of the Red Light".
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Warren DeVilbiss
war...@miller.cs.uwm.edu
The opinions stated here are my own and not those of my employer.
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Monica Czernek
The fourth one ducked.
--M.C.
Stephen McCabe
"Right ladies, candles out !"
"SCHLUUUURRRRPPPP"
Two nuns in a bath, one says "Where's the soap ?"
The other replies "It does, doesn't it."
Why are nuns called nuns?
Cos they get none.
Mother Superior calls the nuns together. "Ladies, we are in desperate need of
money to repair the roof. I want a volunteer to make a sacrifice. One of you
must sell their body to make money."
The only volunteer is Sister Mary Agnes, who is 75 and toothless.
Mother Superior thinks that she won't make much, but decides to let her try.
A week later, Sister Mary Agnes goes to see the Mother Superior. "I am here
to give you the money I've collected, Fifteen thousand four hundred and thirty
dollars and fifty cents."
"Who gave you the fifty cents?"
"Everybody!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOOM BOOM !!!!!!
Steve
Dave Wright
A comedian whose name escapes me said:
Nun: That's what they call 'em 'cause that's what they get.
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+- wri...@snowhite.aes.mb.doe.ca ----------------------------+
| The illusion of a skill is | An ounce of image is worth a |
| frequently more useful than | pound of performance. |
| the skill itself. - Me | -Dr. Lawrence J. Peter |
+------------------------------+------------------------------+
StanZZ
What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving
door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
|
Sta...@aol.com | moc.loa.@ZZnatS
|
Tim Holmes
1st nun: I've never come this way before!
2nd nun: Yes, its the cobbles.
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| Tim Holmes - Database Systems Consultant |
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Larry Fishbach
It is a nun/ ape joke. If you might be offended - STOP HERE and exit
Two nuns are walking thru the zoo when the gorilla reaches thru
the bars and pulls one into his cage. As he is raping her, the other
nun runs for help. The keeper comes and gets the ape off of her
and her out of the cage. They take her to the hospital where
after a couple of days she is physically alright but mentally a
wreck. Nothing they do can cheer her up. The second nun comes
to visit and says to her "You must pull yourself together. G*d knows
that this was not your fault and you should not feel ashamed. You
must get back to helping the needy."
The first nun replies "He doesn't call, he doesn't write ..."
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ma...@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
"Everything here is my own opinion" Quoth the Maven "Evermore"
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Martin Veart
>
>Two nuns on a tandem, travelling down a back street in Rome.
>1st nun: I've never come this way before!
>2nd nun: Yes, its the cobbles.
>
1st. nun: Where's the soap?
2nd. nun: Yes it does doesn't it!
My $0.02 worth
Martin Veart.
Robert C. Tindall
> It is a nun/ ape joke. If you might be offended - STOP HERE and exit
What a novel idea. If the thought of nun jokes offends thee, unsubscribe.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her as an alter boy.
--
Managing engineers and computer programers is not unlike herding cats
Alex Eggert
Two nuns climbing over the convent wall at midnight
Ist nun: Gosh, I feel like a commando
2nd nun: So do I, but where will we find one at this time
of night?
--
Alex Eggert
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There are few problems in life that can not be
solved by four ounces of plastic explosive.
________________________________________________
estellef
Wesley F Wright
>How do you get a nun pregnant?
>
>Dress her as an alter boy.
estellef <este...@delphi.com> responded:
>alter is incorrect. it should be "altar"
Hey estellef,
Robert may be right on this one. A nun dressed as a boy would likely qualify
as altered. Maybe someone could check that on alt.boys. I don't subscribe
to that group. Thanks.
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** Wes Wright wfwr...@corp.hp.com **
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Joe Caruso
They had an old elevator in the school where you could make it
come to your floor by hitting the button while it was moving soo..
They would wait till a nun
got in and started on her way up, somebody would run up two floors, the
girl on floor 1 would hit the button to bring her down then the girl on
floor 3 would hit the button to bring her up then..... the original PONG
game????)