Jokes for Best Man Speech

[Andy Hynes]

Does anyone have any jokes that might be suitable for a best man speech.
Subject areas of particular interest include building/carpentry,
supermarkets, cars, and drunks (if polite-ish)

ObJ: If my speech is made up of jokes as bad as this then I'm doomed :-(

Man walks into a petshop and asks "Could I buy 2 wasps"
Pet shop owner replies "Sorry we don't sell wasps"
Man replies "Well you've got some in the window"

Thanks in advance,

Andy

[bt...@vax5.cit.cornell.edu]

ahy...@axion.bt.co.uk (Andy Hynes) writes:
> Does anyone have any jokes that might be suitable for a best man speech.
> Subject areas of particular interest include building/carpentry,

i heard of a guy that forgot he had a power nailer in his hand and went
to scratch an itch and nailed his hat to his head. you could spice it up with
something like tipping his hat to a lady.

Brian Carcich - Galileo Project - Centre for Radiophysics & Space Research
Cornell University | +01(607)255-5908
422 Space Sciences Building | car...@cuspif.tn.cornell.edu
Ithaca, NY 14853-6801 | CUSPIF::CARCICH (SPAN 6287::)
FAX +01(607)255-9002 | bt...@crnlvax5.BITnet
The only things I don't like about C and Eunuchs(tm) are their proponents

[baugh...@stat.appstate.edu]

In article <1991Aug20.1...@axion.bt.co.uk>, ahy...@axion.bt.co.uk (Andy Hynes) writes:
> Does anyone have any jokes that might be suitable for a best man speech.
> Subject areas of particular interest include building/carpentry,
> supermarkets, cars, and drunks (if polite-ish)
>

Not a joke but here's a toast:

Here's to it and from it and to it again.
And if you get to it to do it and don't do it.
You'll never get to it to do it again.

How about some more toasts, netland?

Kinney
baugh...@conrad.appstate.edu

[James Kurien]

>i heard of a guy that forgot he had a power nailer in his hand and went
>to scratch an itch and nailed his hat to his head. you could spice it up with
>something like tipping his hat to a lady.

A friend of mine works for the unemployment dept in Connecticut,
and told me the story of a claimaint whose pneumatic nail driver
jammed.

He disconnected the air hose, I assume not realizing that there
was pressure built up in the thing, looked down the barrel, and
pulled the trigger.

Luckily the nail didn't penetrate his forehead. Now he has a
place to hang the "I'm an Idiot" sign.

[Andrew W Nicholson]

Here's to you and here's to me,
Best of friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
Well, fuck you, and here's to me.

Andrew. 8*)

--
_--_|\,----- From Townsville in | People who think they know everything,
/ \ Sunny North Queensland. | upset those of us who do. =)
\_.--._/ Andrew Nicholson | Disclaimer: It wasn't me, I wasn't
v cp...@marlin.jcu.edu.au | there, nobody saw me do it.