It's so cold out, even Van Gogh has his ear muff on. :^)
It's so cold out, even the ducks have their down jackets on. :^)
Anyone have any more? It's getting colder outside, and I'm out of jokes!
--
+-------------------------------+---------------------------------------------+
| Michael Norwick *HAVE A DAY* | "Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth |
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>
> It's so cold out, even Van Gogh has his ear muff on. :^)
>
>
> It's so cold out, even the ducks have their down jackets on. :^)
>
It's so cold, the hookers in New York are wearing long johns.
It's so cold, the cabbies in New York are wearing turbans.
- Katie
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"There's a line between fantasy and reality, I guess...." - Ellen Gilchrist
It's so damn cold, the whole brass monkey's frozen
Roger
- Monologue, Johnny Carson
: How Cold Is It?
: It's so cold out, even Van Gogh has his ear muff on. :^)
It's so cold the politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets.
Geoff
--
George
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>It's so cold out, even Van Gogh has his ear muff on. :^)
>It's so cold out, even the ducks have their down jackets on. :^)
>Anyone have any more? It's getting colder outside, and I'm out of jokes!
Have any more? Sorry buddy but I'm from California and I don't even get
the 1st ones. What's a ear muff anyways? You freezin' or what? I sure
wonder what that's like. <hehehehe>
Stan Knight
|And they call us crazy|
*** Gordie McKinnon mcki...@sparc.isl.net ***
*** Northwoods log cabins available on secluded lake. ***
*** It's a nice place to visit but I'd rather live there. ***
My wife, she's so cold, when she opens her legs the furnace comes on.
Ta
Mike
You forgot the Spike Milligan classic line....
It's so cold out even the ice is frozen......!!
Stuart
> It's so COLD that I had to jumpstart my wife this morning.
>
> Jim.
IT'S SO COLD IT COULD FREEZE THE BALLS OFF A POOL TABLE
DENNIS
It's so cold that the flashers were going up to women and describing
themselves.
Let's put it this way, here in Potsdam during winter, it's not rare
to see the temperature go down to the point where celsius and
farenheit meet. I think that's in the -40 range.
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Colder than a well-digger's ass!
: Colder than a well-digger's ass!
It's colder than a witches titty!
(from a movie about old men which I forgot the title)
--
Peace,
Andre
FLAME-RETARDING DISCLAIMER:
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ask his questions in a spirit of friendly discussion, and listen when
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Andre M. da Silva '95 an...@raptor.swarthmore.edu
Swarthmore College (610) 690-5375
Swarthmore, PA 19081 Hallowell 313
DB>it's so cold, the hookers have their hands in their own pockets.
An old one from my childhood:
"It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra."
rr
_____________________________________________________________________
| Fred |
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First heard this one about 23 years ago when cutting a commercial for a
radio station where I was working at the time:
"It's colder than a witches armpit in a brass overcoat"
--
Dave Ratcliffe da...@frackit.com
Harrisburg, Pa.
"It's so cold, my bum's gone to sleep"
"I know, I heard it snoring"
Chas Bedford
"It's colder than a well-digger's ass in the Klondike".
It's so cold, people are flicking their bics in their pockets.
(MAD magazine).
--
Brynn Andrew (ban...@concave.cs.wits.ac.za)
Wits University
Johannesburg
South Africa
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II>It's cock-freezing cold !
if it's so cold, then build a f*cking fire!
IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM;
LMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM9 A X C E S S O N L I N E LMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM9
: : PENANG, MALAYSIA. : :
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMJMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMJMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM<
>--
From MAD a few years back...
"It's so cold, people are ''Flicking their Bic's'' their pockets."
It's colder than a welldigger's ass.
-- Mike "or the ass end of a lazy polar bear" Bartman --
==============================================================================
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| what you thought you read. Statistics show that this whole thing is more |
| than likely just a hideous misunderstanding. |
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
: It's so cold, people are flicking their bics in their pockets.
: (MAD magazine).
: --
: Brynn Andrew (ban...@concave.cs.wits.ac.za)
: Wits University
: Johannesburg
: South Africa
--
I just had to make a comment on this - sorry it isn't particularly
funny, but germain. The expression is "cold enough to freeze the
balls off of a brass monkey." What most don't know, is that a
brass monkey is the name given to a box, made out of brass, that
is fastened to the deck of a warship next to the cannon. Cannon
balls are stacked in this box, a layer of 9 (3 X 3), topped with
a layer of 4 and then a single ball on top. The box is just tall
enough to keep the cannon balls from rolling out, normally. But
if the weather gets *real* cold, the brass monkey and the cannon
balls both shrink. Unfortunately, brass shrinks more than iron
cannon balls, and the result is that the brass monkey squeezes the
balls until they pop off and start rolling around the deck - not
a pleasant occurrence. Thus, when the weather is really cold, it
is cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey!
Carl Carter - Allen Osborne Associates
a...@netcom.com
It's so cold, they're still trying to chip the dogs off the fire hydrants!
>
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+-------------------------------------------------------------------------+
At the risk of being boring it was a Brass Triangle not a box..?
Not unlike the thing used to rack balls in pool...!
This theory is nice but very unlikely: why should they have wasted an
expensive and heavy material like brass for a device that could have
been built out of wood? (light, easy to work with, cheap)
Amazing, how boring I can be, isnt it?
PETER
>PETER
Aha! Ten 25 pound cannon balls dropped into a wooden tray would smash it to
pieces methinks...
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por...@logica.com | Disclaimer: The opinions voiced
+44 (0)171 637 9111 x5173 | herein are, let's face it, daft.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The people who worked in the powder magazines were known as Powder
Monkeys (Still applies today, to people who work with explosives
in construction/mining/demolition).
Cannon balls were put on rails that ran along the scuppers of the
ship, to be easily rolled to whatever cannon needed a reload. The
rails were made of brass, and the balls rolled between the two
rails, more or less the way they store 10-pin bowling bals today.
The connection between the two was one was a powder monkey and the
other was the brass monkey, gets pretty boring doesn't it?
The xpression of freezing the balls of the brass monkey came from
the fact the brass rails changed their length (spacing) in extreme
cold weather, and if the space between the two rails got too
close, the balls fell off them.
This theory doesn't explain what would rpevent the balls from
rolling around while the sheep went through rough seas, but that's
another broing story.
Cheers,
Alex Long
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_
>In article <gkatele-1902...@d41.net.interaccess.com>, gka...@interaccess.com (George Katele) writes:
>>It's colder than a kiss from my first wife!
>It's so cold the brass monkeys are wearing longjohns.
It was soooo cold, we had to open the refrigerator door so
we could warm up the house!
__\/__
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In article <mcause.2...@primenet.com>, mca...@primenet.com (The
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Subject: Re: WANTED: "It's so cold..." jokes
Date: 14 Jun 1995 21:52:51 GMT
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What exactly is a brass monkey?
Bob
I may be falling victim to folk-lore here, but I *thinK* his expression
arose in the days of wooden sailing ships. The term "monkey" was used to
refer to small people who had to dash about with gun powder "powder
monkeys" and it came to apply to other naval things too. I can't remember
exactly what a grease monkey is, but I feel sure there is such a thing.
Anyway, a brass monkey was a rack made of brass that was used to store
cannon balls on. Now, as you know, different metals expand or contract at
different rates with increasing or decreasing temperature. Since the
monkey was made of brass and the cannon balls were made of iron, this
meant that the contraction rates as it got colder were different, and
eventually stresses would build up and the cannon balls would fall off
the rack onto the floor. Hence "cold enough to freeze the balls off a
brass monkey."
If anyone can confirm or deny this, feel free.
Nick Bryant.
--
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We're an assimilated faaa-mi-leeeeeee,
Despite my cybernetics I'm a purple paedophile,
And Reeee-zisss-tunce is quite Fu-tile. " -- Barney of Borg.
Outside the US there is a well known expression:
"It's so cold it would freeze the balls off of a brass monkey"
For some unknown reason 'Merkins don't seem to have brass monkeys,
or balls, or both.
In my home town a local motor bike club would have an annual 'brass
monkey' rally in the middle of the winter where they would drive into
the hills and camp out for a night.
There is a (maybe true) story that the expression dates from the
time of sailing ships with cannon and that the plate that the little
piles of cannon balls sat on next to the cannon (you've seen them
in all those old pirate movies) was called a "monkey" .... when it got
really cold the differential rate of thermal contraction between the
brass plate and the cast iron cannon balls would cause the pile
of cannon balls to collapse. It's probably an urban legend.
Paul
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul Campbell - Taniwha Systems Design - Oakland CA USA
$cientology - the 'religion' for the '50s, where brainwashing is
a sacrament - if you think your newsgroup has wackos check out
alt.religion.scientology!
It was so cold I saw a Tory politician with his hands in his own pockets..
--
Cogito ergo sum AP Bennett ;-)
benn...@ecid.cig.mot.com
Festina lente
>Anyway, a brass monkey was a rack made of brass that was used to store
>cannon balls on. Now, as you know, different metals expand or contract
at
>different rates with increasing or decreasing temperature. Since the
>monkey was made of brass and the cannon balls were made of iron, this
>meant that the contraction rates as it got colder were different, and
>eventually stresses would build up and the cannon balls would fall off
>the rack onto the floor. Hence "cold enough to freeze the balls off a
>brass monkey."
>
>If anyone can confirm or deny this, feel free.
I am pleased to be able to confirm this. I have heard the "true
explanation of Brass Monkey" many times. It dates back to the times when
Horatio Nelson was a captain - but that's another story.
How come Americans have no knowledge of brass monkey's? I understood it
to get pretty cold in northern US?
Dick
: How come Americans have no knowledge of brass monkey's? I understood it
: to get pretty cold in northern US?
a) because American men don't have balls
or
b) because American men's balls can withstand any temperature.
your choice
c) and their monkey isnt out of brass, either! ;-)
: And their monkey isnt out of brass, either ;-)
<g>
Thank goodness! If their monkeys were made of brass, I would hate to
be on the receiving end on one of those bitterly cold nights....
And their monkey isnt out of brass, either ;-)
PETER
(__)
(oo)
/---++--\/
/ | || ||
* ||-++-||
~~ ~~
Henry T. Warner Reality is for people with
hewa...@nmsu.edu no imagination
Spoilsport!
PETER
: Spoilsport!
Moi? How could you??!?