Wanted: Porsche jokes. 1 included...
t...@cyberspace.com
What's the difference between a Porsche and a cactus?
The cactus has the prick on the outside.
Ha Ha.
Help. I'm desperate. As you can see.
tsj
Stuart A. Bronstein
: I'd die for some Porsche jokes.
True story: a couple I know had a baby girl, and named her Portia. After
being told the baby's name, one friend asked, "Why are you naming her
after a car?"
Rachel Ewing-Pace
: Sorry it's a bit coarse, but the only one I know is:
: Why is a Porsche the ultimate phallic symbol?
: They're all driven by c**ts.
What do Porsches and hemmorhoids have in common?
Sooner or later every asshole will get one.
xsd...@nbhs.newbedford.k12.ma.us
>I'd die for some Porsche jokes.
>
>
>
>
>The cactus has the prick on the outside.
>
>Ha Ha.
>
>Help. I'm desperate. As you can see.
>
>tsj
>
What's the difference between a Porsche and a blonde?
You don't lend your Porsche to your friends!
Rick Post
>
>t...@cyberspace.com wrote:
>: I'd die for some Porsche jokes.
>
What's the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?
Answer: With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.
Anon E. Mouse
This is the old "Police Car" joke with Porsche substitued for Police
Car. Here is a real Porsche joke:-
The boss turned to Roger with exasperation:-
"You are useless, you never do anything right. Here, take this white
paint and go and paint the Porch."
After 30 minutes, Roger returned.
"See I can do things right. I have finished already. And by the way -
its not a porch, its a Ferarri."
scotca...@delphi.com
Because the (insert favorite ethnic group here) kept stealing
them thinking they were Porsches.
jhruby
says...
>
>Why did the police stop putting 911 on their ppatrol cars?
>
>
>
>
>Because the (insert favorite ethnic group here) kept stealing
>them thinking they were Porsches.
The story of the Elephant and the Mouse... (Relates to Porches)
A mouse was walking through the jungle and fell into a lion trap. The
mouse started crying, thinking he was doomed to die in there being that
he was unable to climb out of the big pit.
Along comes an elephant, who heard the sobbing mouse. The elephant asked
the mouse why he was crying, and the mouse explained his situation. The
elephant then lowered his dick into the pit, and told the mouse to climb
onto it. The mouse did just that, and the elephant lifted his dick back
out of the pit bring the mouse back onto level ground. The mouse thanked
the elephant profusely, and told him that he'd never forget that act of
kindness, and someday would return the favor. The elephant and mouse
parted.
A week later, the elephant was walking through the jungle and fell into
the same lion trap. The elephant was thinking that he was REALLY doomed,
as he was the biggest creature in the jungle, and nothing would be able
to help him. Along comes the mouse. Seeing the elephant in this
predicament, he ran home, got his Porche, and drove back to the scene.
He then tied a rope to his bumper, threw the other end of the rope into
the hole, and told the elephant to tie it around his waist. The mouse
revved up the engine, popped the clutch, and pulled the elephant out of
the hole.
The moral of the story:
You don't need a big dick if you have a porche...
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// And no one sings me lullabies
// And no one makes me close my eyes
/. \// And so I throw the windows wide
\ )/\\ And call to you across the sky...
\\
\\
Harry Evans
: What do Porsches and hemmorhoids have in common?
: Sooner or later every asshole will get one.
I thought that was BMWs.
jag
si...@hotair.enet.dec.com (Denise Simon) wrote:
>Q: What's the difference between Porsches and Porcupines?
>
>A: With Porsches, the pricks are on the inside
why don't you try the right punch-line:?)
A: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside
it's a *bit* funnier that way
jag
Denise Simon
Tye Leslie Sanders
>Rachel Ewing-Pace (rep...@exodus.databank.com) wrote:
Why did the Irishman steal a police car?
He saw the '911' on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
--
#####################################################
# T. Leslie Sanders # "It's true that there's #
# # a fool born every minute... #
# Brisbane, # It's also true that they #
# Queensland, # don't die that fast." #
# Australia # - John Laws #
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co...@odyssey.ucc.ie
si...@hotair.enet.dec.com (Denise Simon) writes:
>
>Q: What's the difference between Porsches and Porcupines?
>
>A: With Porsches, the pricks are on the inside
Seven reasons why its better to own a Volvo instead of a Porsche:
1. Don't have to have a small penis to own a Volvo
2. Total strangers don't hate you
3. Nobody goes joyriding in a Volvo
4. Possible to buy a spare wheel without mortgaging your house
5. Onlookers don't cheer when you crash
6. After a head on collision, you're still driving with just the faintest
smear of Porsche on the front
7. Great for picking up those blonde Swedish babes....
Any more?
Conor.
John Belanger
>
>Q: What's the difference between Porsches and Porcupines?
>
>A: With Porsches, the pricks are on the inside
Denise, Denise, Denise... It's just too easy...Two words: Female Porcupine
Porsche Story:
One day a mouse was walking through the jungle when he heard someone calling for help. The mouse runs up and sees a big elephant slowly sinking into a pool of quicksand. I'll help you! he shouts. How can a little mouse like you save me? asked the somewhat desperate elephant. Just wait and see said the mouse and off he ran. One minute later the mouse comes roaring back in Hot, Red Porsche 911 Turbo (An 85 Model loaded with options).
Anyway, the mouse quickly hooks a chain to the bumper on the 911, throws the other end to the elephant, and with a little effort pulls the elephant from the quicksand. Oh thank you! said the grateful elephant. Someday I'll repay your good deed.
A few weeks later the elephant is walking through the same part of the jungle when HE hears someone calling for help. He follows the sound and sure enough there is his friend the mouse stuck in the very same pool of quicksand. Oh please help me! cries the mouse. No problem replies the elephant. He then takes out his dick and with a little effort throws the end out to the mouse. The mouse grabs on and the elephant easily pulls him from the quicksand. They then go their separate ways and live happily ever af
ter.
And the moral of the story, boys and girls, is: If you've got a big dick, you don't need a porsche.
--
John A. Belanger
My personal opinions (Mostly)
--
John A. Belanger
jag
co...@odyssey.ucc.ie wrote:
>In Article <40t8hr$d...@nntpd.lkg.dec.com>
>si...@hotair.enet.dec.com (Denise Simon) writes:
>>
>>Q: What's the difference between Porsches and Porcupines?
>>
>>A: With Porsches, the pricks are on the inside
>
>
>Seven reasons why its better to own a Volvo instead of a Porsche:
>
[snip]
>Any more?
>
>Conor.
everyone else gets out of your way because Volvo drivers seem to think they
own the entire road
people keep flashing their headlights at you because they think you've left
your own lights on
you get a really comfortable drive...until you try going round a corner
As for Porsches...
A Porsche is better than sex because
when you're driving a Porsche people always know when you're coming
jag
J J Dippel
>In article <40t8hr$d...@nntpd.lkg.dec.com>, si...@hotair.enet.dec.com (Denise
>Simon) writes:
>>
>Porsche Story:
[snip]
>And the moral of the story, boys and girls, is: If you've got a big dick, you
>don't need a porsche.
>--
OH CRAP!!!! I should have read all the jokes before I posted it! I went and
posted the same story, then I come across this!!!!!
A.A.Buykx
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=- Andreas A. Buykx (A.A....@ET.TUDelft.NL) phone +31-(0)15-787307 -=
=- Delft University of Technology - ECTM Group -=
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- That's all, folks !!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
J J Dippel
>Q: What's the difference between Porsches and Porcupines?
>A: With Porsches, the pricks are on the inside
Here's one! You can use any car, but I thought I would use the porsche.
An elephant was drowning in quicksand, and he called out to the mouse and
pleaded for the mouse to save his life. The mouse stated that he didn't have
the strength to pull the elephant out, but the mouse will go and get the
porsche and see if that would help. The mouse got the porsche, attached a
rope, threw it out to the elephant, and saved the elephant's life. The
elephant was truly grateful, and told the mouse if he ever needed anything,
the mouse could have it.
Next week, the mouse was drowning in the quicksand (STUPID MOUSE!!). The
mouse called out to the elephant. The elephant lumbered up to the edge,
extended his "male member" out as far as it would go, the mouse grabbed on,
and the mouse's life was saved.
Moral of the story:
If you have a big penis, you don't need a porsche!
John Belanger
It is a good joke though:-)