To start off, this one I remember from years back. It was so good
I thought there *must* be a joke behind it, but if there was, my
friend never told it.
"That wasn't Mohammed" said the rabbi to the priest, "It was the
mouse with a dildo!"
Anyone else out there want to have a go???
"i've heard of being stuck in the thistle, but this is ridiculous"
Batman, is that the gearshift of the batmobile up my behind? No -
ma...@hercules.lerc.nasa.gov Larry Fishbach @ NASA Lewis Cleveland Ohio
"Everything here is my own opinion" Quoth the Maven "Evermore"
(\ Primary E-Mail : bri...@nlbbs.com
\\_ _/(\ Secondary E-Mail: bri...@cyberspace.net
Q Q \) Snail Mail : PO Box 2301, Augusta ME 04338
" All opinions are mine!
What's up, doc? - B. Bunny
I think I can get use to this... Check this out ...!
" So the duck looks straight in the eyes of the hunter
and says... Hey ! .... I'll suck the buffalo.
"Never moon a werewolf"
Carle "Ace" Amyotte
( h r i s t o p h e r
And then the doctor said, "I am sorry, lady, turns out you were just constipated."
I kinda like this.
Excellent! I love it! How long did it take you to come up with that one?
Oh, and have you noticed that it works equally well depending on where you
place the emphasis???
Hey! ... *I'll* suck the buffalo.
Hey! ... I'll *suck* the buffalo!
What do you think about that?
John.... How can I put this.... You need help, man....
maybe you *should* suck the buffalo....
JUST KIDDING !!
"Never moon a werewolf.... (suck a buffalo instead)"
Carle "Ace" Amyotte
"And the priest survived, but the goat had to have his leg off!!"
-- Mike "will work for punchlines" Bartman --
| I didn't really say all the things that I said. You probably didn't read |
| what you thought you read. Statistics show that this whole thing is more |
| than likely just a hideous misunderstanding. |
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
"There can be only one"
I'm not sure which punchline goes with which joke, so I'll leave it to
someone else to figure out. -Jonathan
... "Nobody eats parsley!"
|Dan Hawkins | |
| dhaw...@meaddata.com | If God had NOT meant for man to fly, |
| CompuServe 71212,442 | He wouldn't have given us Imagination. |
| Voice (513) 865-6800 | |
| or (800) 253-5624 | Maintain thy airspeed, |
| ext. 2904 | lest the ground rise up and smite thee. |
| Rule #1: No matter what happens around you, fly the airplane. |
| I'd rather be flying! |
An oldie !
What is the difference betweem pussy and parsley?
"How do you think I rang the bell?"
| Weird Sky Mining Corporation |
| Gold / Silver / Iron / Asteroids / Humor / Blood |
| -> We mine anything <- |
| Ravenous exploitation of primitive worlds our specialty |
| (Military conquest incurrs nominal extra fees) |
| All queries to: |
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| "A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none." |
THESE ARE NOT CHALLENGING AT ALL YET.
A quadruple amputee shows up at a house of ill repute. The madam
opens the door and sees him limbless. What makes you think you
can use our services she asks.
The idea is *supposed* to be, to come up with a funny/witty
punchline, for a joke which *DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!*
So far, I have seen only 1 that qualifies. (At least, I am unaware
of any joke attached to it.)
So the duck looks at the hunter straight in the eye, and says..
"Hey... I'll suck the buffalo!"
I am quite sure that my original post was not ambiguous about
Another example comes from Beavis & Butthead,
So the Doctor says, "Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
Rectum = Wrecked him, for those lacking any common sense.
I don't know of any joke with *that* as a punchline, so it
qualifies. It also happens to be funny.
"... but the wallpaper tasted great!"
Mary Ellen Foster, BNR co-op student (disregard any other name in header)
Send all mail to: ao...@freenet.carleton.ca (or via BNR COCOS)
>> Teacher: And what did you do on Guy Fawkes night Tommy?
>> Tommy: I stuck a firework up our cat's arse miss!
>> Teacher: Rectum Tommy!
>> You can guess the rest, mind you I don't know where doctors come into it
(courtesy Jeff Ventimilia, circa 1985, Rutgers University).
Just keeping things legal.
What is ...
The man gets out of jail after twenty years. The warden gives
him five bucks and wished him good luck. Since he hasn't been
laid in twenty years, he decides to get a hooker. The only one
that will work for only five bucks is eighty years old. But
since he's son horny, he decides to go for it. He starts in,
but it hurts. The old lady's twat is all dried up. He tells
the old woman, "Hey this sucks. Your cunt's too dry." "Well
what do you expect, sonny," she replies ...
"That thing better have numbers on it when you pull it out!"
or, better yet
"A fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck and 100 bucks for a fucked up duck!"
H. Randy Patton = "We need variety to keep life from
Technical Coordinator = becoming dull and monogamous."
Virginia Tech English Dept. =
Randy....@vt.edu = -- One of my freshman writing students
Actually there *was* a joke that went with this punch line
but I can't remember it. I believe it was slightly obscene
and very funny but that's all I remember about it.
"No soap, Radio!"
Nervous about flying? I could be pursuing an untamed Antidae
Yes.. without cause-- Data: Star Trek:TNG
Is this your first time? Aar...@wam.umd.edu EE major (I hope)
No, I've been nervous lots of times.<--Airplane I
GEE d? p c++ l u+ e+ m--- s+/ n-- h !f-- g+ w t++ r+ y?
<I can feel the flames now...>
Disclaimer: The opinions and statements contained in this posting are the sole
responsibility of the author and have not in any way been reviewed or approved
by my employer or any network service.
"And then the Bishop said 'No, but I'd like to see him try!'"
[o] Barry Gunn -> Hewlett Packard Co
So the woman says to her friend, "Shit, my husband brought home a bouqet
of flowers. I'm going to have to spend the whole weekend with my legs
in the air."
__/\__ Jonathan S. Haas | Jake liked his women the way he liked
\ / Mission Critical Software | his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-
/_ _\ posi...@neosoft.com | fleshed yet yielding to the touch, and
\/ Finger for PGP 2.3 key | covered with short brown fuzzy hair.