Here's how I remember it
‘Twas the night of the King’s castration
‘Twas the night of the King’s last ball
All the counts, discounts and no accounts,
Were assembled in the King’s great hall.
The no-accounts were standing around flinging camel turds
Because bull shitting hadn't been heard of yet.
In walks our hero named Daniel. "Ha Ho", said Daniel to the King.
"What ho", said the King to Daniel. "The Queen's ho", said Daniel to the King.
"Oh fuck the Queen", said the King
And 30,000 loyal subjects got trampled in the rush
For in those days the King’s word was law
"Where's the Royal Princess", asked Daniel.
"She's in bed with Dyptheria", said the King.
"You mean that Greek bastard's back it town again."
This angers the King and he throws Daniel into the lion's den.
The lion rushes: is this the end of our hero?
No. Daniel grabs the lion by the right ball & gives it a gentle twist to the left.
Ooh that tickles said the lion, what tickles said Daniel, testicles said the lion
And with that Daniel escapes from the lion’s den
This pleases the King so he calls Daniel forth,
but Daniel slips on a camel dung & comes in fifth.
This angers Daniel and he begins flinging lion shit at random.
Random ducks and it hits the King in the face.
“Oh shit!” says the King
& 30,000 loyal subjects squatted and strained
For in those days the King’s word was law.
The King stumbles into the Queens chambers ...”balls” he yells
& the queen cried “if I had 2, I’d be king; if I had 3 I’d be a pawn shop, if I had 5 I’d be a pin ball machine
And the king laughed, not because he wanted to but because he had two.
Later, back in her chambers the queen was lying face down on her bed.
Roll over said Daniel. I'll be fucked if I will said the queen. You'll be corn-holed if you don't said Daniel.
Shh, you'll wake the baby said the queen. Fuck the baby said Daniel. You'd fuck a baby?
I'd fuck a chicken. Well I thought you were a foul fucker.
Later, in the King’s chambers, the King was dreaming “more land, more land, I want more land”
And so the queen rolled over and gave him two more royal acres.
For in those days the king’s word was law