One-Liners ...

Doug Lynch

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Jul 10, 1991, 3:01:57 PM7/10/91

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Here's a list of my favorite One-Liners:

The reason why worry kills more people than work, is that more people worry
than work.

Anyone in good enough shape to run 3 miles a day is in good enough shape not to

Confidence is the feeling you had before you knew better

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one

No matter how bad a child is, he's still good for a tax exemption

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it

It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious

Women like silent men. They think they're listening

The brain is wonderful. It starts working the moment you wake and doesn't
stop until you get on the job

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice

A fool and his money are some party (my favorite)

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing

Leakproof Seals - will. Self-starters - will not.
Interchangeable parts - won't

The Russians will never invade us. There's no place to park

If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone

If you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it

Sympathy is what you give a relative when you don't want to lend him money

Robert Moore

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Jul 12, 1991, 4:46:22 PM7/12/91

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In article <15...@hacgate.UUCP> jo...@ipla01.hac.com (Michael Jones) writes:

>In article <330...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:
>>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
>>

>There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
>and those who don't listen to anybody.
[sig deleted]

There are two kinds of people in the world:

Those that divide people into groups,
and those that don't.

Robert Moore
The University of
Southern California
"Come to LA, we'll treat you like a king."

Michael Jones

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Jul 12, 1991, 1:34:42 PM7/12/91

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In article <330...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:

>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
>

There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
and those who don't listen to anybody.

--
-----------
Mike Jones
jo...@ipla01.hac.com

Mark Israel

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Jul 14, 1991, 11:37:38 PM7/14/91

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In article <330...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM>, dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM
(Doug Lynch) writes:

> Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.

I'm tired of all this talk about beauty's being only skin-deep.
What do you people want, a beautiful pancreas???

Mark Israel
I have heard the Wobble! user...@mts.ucs.ualberta.ca

antis...@st1.vuw.ac.nz

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Jul 16, 1991, 12:22:41 AM7/16/91

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riv...@dev8i.mdcbbs.com writes:

> jo...@ipla01.hac.com (Michael Jones) writes:
>> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:
>>>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it

>> There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
>> and those who don't listen to anybody.

> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into
> two groups, and those who don't!

There are two types of people in this world. Those who finish sentences, and
those ...

Tony Q.
***Please no mail or flames, this is a friends address***

riv...@dev8i.mdcbbs.com

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Jul 15, 1991, 8:50:12 AM7/15/91

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In article <15...@hacgate.UUCP>, jo...@ipla01.hac.com (Michael Jones) writes:
> In article <330...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:
>>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
>>
> There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
> and those who don't listen to anybody.
>

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into

two groups, and those who don't!

{:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-(
Michael Rivero riv...@dev8a.mdcbbs MY EX-WIFE TOOK MY SIG IN THE DIVORCE!
{:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-( {:-(

David Orton

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Jul 16, 1991, 3:56:39 AM7/16/91

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In article <15...@hacgate.UUCP> jo...@ipla01.hac.com (Michael Jones) writes:

>In article <330...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:
>>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
>>
>There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
>and those who don't listen to anybody.
>

And- those who listen to (976) numbers!

Will Orton
"It makes me wonder how I keep myself so slender"-Matt Groening

--
Dave Orton dor...@dri.com (uunet!drivax!dorton)

riv...@dev8i.mdcbbs.com

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Jul 16, 1991, 7:49:47 AM7/16/91

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In article <1991Jul16...@st1.vuw.ac.nz>, antis...@st1.vuw.ac.nz writes:
>
> riv...@dev8i.mdcbbs.com writes:
>> jo...@ipla01.hac.com (Michael Jones) writes:
>>> dr...@hplvec.LVLD.HP.COM (Doug Lynch) writes:
>>>>If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
>
>>> There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
>>> and those who don't listen to anybody.
>
>> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into
>> two groups, and those who don't!
>
> There are two types of people in this world. Those who finish sentences, and
> those ...
>

There are two secrets to success in this world.

1. Never tell anyone everything you know!

Russell Johnston

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Jul 16, 1991, 5:23:21 PM7/16/91

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>>> There are two kind of people who always fail: those who listen to everybody,
>>> and those who don't listen to anybody.

>> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into
>> two groups, and those who don't!

> There are two types of people in this world. Those who finish sentences, and
>those ...

There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count, and
those who can't!

JOSEPH T CHEW

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Jul 18, 1991, 6:11:15 PM7/18/91

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There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can remember
things, and...what was the other kind?

KRAKOVER JONATHAN DA

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Jul 18, 1991, 3:31:12 PM7/18/91

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There are three kinds of scientists in this world, those that can count,
and those that can't.

Jonathan

Thorsten Guenther

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Jul 19, 1991, 7:19:41 AM7/19/91

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There are only two kinds of people in the world, those who generalize and
those, like me, who don't!

Thorsten Guenther
aka Weregoose

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Send your flames to alt.boring or alt.religious.talk, please! Thank you! -
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael Goldman

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Jul 19, 1991, 10:51:37 AM7/19/91

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jtc...@csa3.lbl.gov (JOSEPH T CHEW) writes:

>There are two kinds of people in the world: those who can remember
>things, and...what was the other kind?

or...

Two things happen when you get old, one is you lose your memory, and I forget
the other one.

Annick Ansselin

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Jul 17, 1991, 11:34:49 PM7/17/91

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> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into
>two groups, and those who don't!

There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and
those who can't.

Ben Alexander

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Jul 19, 1991, 10:50:42 PM7/19/91

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But there's only one kind of math major in the world. Those who can
count and those that can't.

-bj
(yeah, I'm a math major. pathetic, huh.)

Psychic, Sexy, and Intelligent

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Jul 21, 1991, 1:57:27 PM7/21/91

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read all the articles before following up, and those who don't... :-)

Graeme Griffiths

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Jul 22, 1991, 9:10:59 AM7/22/91

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In <1991Jul21.1...@noose.ecn.purdue.edu> sch...@lips1.ecn.purdue.edu (Psychic, Sexy, and Intelligent) writes:

>In article <18...@physiol.su.oz.au> ann...@physiol.su.oz.au (Annick Ansselin) writes:
>>> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who divide people into
>>>two groups, and those who don't!
>>
>>There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and
>>those who can't.

> There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who
> read all the articles before following up, and those who don't... :-)

And of course there are two types of people, those who put people into
categories and people, like me, who don't.