Bobbits song
Jan Eric Andersson
<squ...@computrek.org> wrote:
>This song came from a local radio station....it goes to the tune of Keep
>Your Hands to Yourself by the Georgia Satelites.
--8<--
How about this one? Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man":
The Bobbitt Man (Colin Jackson, with apologies to Billy Joel)
1. It was nine o'clock on a Saturday
I was lying in bed with my wife
But I didn't know she was mad at me
'til I saw the flash of her knife
2. I cried "Don't mess with my masculinity"
No sooner had these words been said
Than she gave a small cough, and she cut it right off
And left me in pain on the bed
Bridge: I said: Ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ai....
Ref: Sew it back on, I'm the Bobbit Man
Sew it back on, good and tight
And just to be sure, add an inch or two more
'cause I'm feeling lucky tonight...
3. I asked as I lay there in agony
"Could it be something I said"
She said, "Yes, my dear, I do not like to hear
That my sister is better in bed"
Bridge: Ai ai ai ai....
Ref: Sew it back on....
4. And now I'm making a video
With a girl who's a bit of a slut
It would stay up all night, if I didn't die of fright
Every time the director yells "CUT!"
Bridge: Ai ai ai ai.....
Ref: Sew it back on....
--
Jan Eric Andersson [E-Mail: jan...@login.eunet.no]
Oslo, Norway [http://login.eunet.no/~janeand]
Maverick
In article <319368d4....@news.eunet.no>,
KUDOS!!!
Here's another on to the tune of The Beverley Hillbillies. Sorry if this
has been posted here before. Enjoy...
The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies
====================================
(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)
Well, heres a little story bout a man named John
a poor ex Marine (with a little fraction gone)
It seems one night after getting with the wife
she lopped of his schlong with the swipe of a knife
(penis, that is... filet e oad)
Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginzu by his side
Lorena's in the car taking "WILLIE" for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend.
So she tossed it out the window as she drove around the bend.
(Curve that is...pricker shrubs...wheel hubs)
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
They called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back.
They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "OVER THERE"
To John Wanes O'Henry just a waving in the air.
(found that is.... by a fence.... evidence!)
Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a Dic-Doc said "Hey! I can fix your Dong!"
a needle and a thread is just the thing you're gonna need
Then the wold held its breath thill they heard that Johnny peed.
(Wizzed that is... stiched seam.... straight stream)
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a Cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
They cleared her of assauld and acquitted him of rape,
and his Pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape.
(Video, that is....Unexposed.....CASE CLOSED)
--
If given the choice between physics for physics majors and physics for
engineering majors, take the former every time. Due to an ancient feud,
engineers are denied access to the physics store, and ropes with mass
looped around pulleys with friction are MUCH harder to deal with.
HazChem
Heard this on the radio back when Bobbit was news...
(To the tune of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight (or whatever that song is called")
In the bedroom, the quiet bedroom, John Bobbitt sleeps tonight...
In the kitchen, the peaceful kitchen, Lorena gets a knife...
A wiener-whack, a wiener-whack, a wiener-whack, a wiener-whack...
(The guy didn't get any further than that before the DJs started laughing
so hard he couldn't be heard.)
--
HAZARDOUS CHEMICAL http://www.clarityconnect.com/webpages/hazchem/hazchem.html
"Between the desire/And the spasm |"Cynic, n. A blackguard whose
Between the potency/And the existence| faulty vision sees things as
Between the essence/And the descent | they are, not as they ought
Falls the Shadow" | to be."
(T.S. Eliot) | (Ambrose Bierce)
Lorie McGraw
"The Bobbit Sleeps Tonight" is played on the "JohnBoy and Billy Big
Show",and, I"m sure, written by them. This is a radio show out of
Charlotte, NC. It is, possibly, one of the funniest parody songs I have
ever heard, with numerous verses. Worth a listen or locating.