Polish Jokes
AMAN
Q) Why did a polish put a quarter in his condom?
A) Becos if he can't come, he'll call.
Q) Why did three polish guys masturbate in a restaurant?
A) Becos they read a sign outside that said:
"First Come, First Served".
Nikola V. Malenovic
***
*** A) Becos if he can't come, he'll call.
***
***
*** Q) Why did three polish guys masturbate in a restaurant?
***
*** A) Becos they read a sign outside that said:
*** "First Come, First Served".
**
**
**Okay, if we're gonna bash the Polish, we have to bash Italians too.
**
**It seems a long time ago a guy went to the doctor and said "Doctor Doctor, I
**don't care what it takes, but I want to be Polish."
**The doctor said "Why would anyone want to be Polish?"
**The guy insisted though, so the doctor said "Well it is possible, but it will
**mean removal of half your brain." The guy agreed. So he goes in for the
**surgery, and has part of his brain removed. The doctor comes in to see him
**in the recovery room and says "A terrible mistake made, and we removed 3/4
**of your brain instead of half. I'm sorry, I don't know how this mistake
**could have happened."
**The guy put his hand on his forehead and said "Ah...Mama Mia!"
**
**--
**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
**| Kevin Yetman | A dedication to the most beautiful girl|
*.
*.
*some deleted stuff......
*
*Ok, let's beat on the irish for a while....
*There was a lady crossing the road and she gets run over by a truck. She flies
*up into the air and falls with a sickening thud on the road with all her
*clothes stripped from her body. A priest happens to see this whole incident and
*runs to the body and tries to cover it up as far as possible. All he has a hat
*and so he covers her private's by putting his hat on top of it. Then, he kneels
*on the floor and starts to say some prayers or whatever. A irish guy comes out
*of a bar dead drunk and happens to walk by the scene of the accident. He looks
*totally shocked at the scene before him and walks up to the priest and says:
*"You know father, the first thing you need to do is get that guy out of there".
*
*Any other nationalities to beat up on.........
Oh yes - the classic Russian women :
How are Russian women and hockey player alike?
They both wear same pads for three periods......
(I know, it's gross but.... it's FUNNY!!!!!!!!!)
Nik
--
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yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give
in and save your sanity for later."
(Ford Prefect in Life, The Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams)
--
AMAN
>> A) Becos if he can't come, he'll call.
>>
>>
>> Q) Why did three polish guys masturbate in a restaurant?
>>
>> A) Becos they read a sign outside that said:
>> "First Come, First Served".
>
>
>
>The guy put his hand on his forehead and said "Ah...Mama Mia!"
>
>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>| Kevin Yetman | A dedication to the most beautiful girl|
.
some deleted stuff......
Ok, let's beat on the irish for a while....
There was a lady crossing the road and she gets run over by a truck. She flies
up into the air and falls with a sickening thud on the road with all her
clothes stripped from her body. A priest happens to see this whole incident and
runs to the body and tries to cover it up as far as possible. All he has a hat
and so he covers her private's by putting his hat on top of it. Then, he kneels
on the floor and starts to say some prayers or whatever. A irish guy comes out
of a bar dead drunk and happens to walk by the scene of the accident. He looks
totally shocked at the scene before him and walks up to the priest and says:
"You know father, the first thing you need to do is get that guy out of there".
Any other nationalities to beat up on.........
Ethan Montag
Did you hear about the Polish Mafioso?
He makes you an offer you can't understand.
Please, please, hold your applause. You're too kind.
Van Snyder
>Why not combine them...
>
>Did you hear about the Polish Mafioso?
>
>He makes you an offer you can't understand.
How about the new car called the Mafia: You open one hood
and there's another one.
--
Van Snyder = vsn...@math.jpl.nasa.gov
Grig Larson
window.
^L
He took the air tube and put in a gun and a note that said "Gimmie all your
money, or shoot yourself."
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yet...@merrimack.edu
Okay, if we're gonna bash the Polish, we have to bash Italians too.
It seems a long time ago a guy went to the doctor and said "Doctor Doctor, I
don't care what it takes, but I want to be Polish."
The doctor said "Why would anyone want to be Polish?"
The guy insisted though, so the doctor said "Well it is possible, but it will
mean removal of half your brain." The guy agreed. So he goes in for the
surgery, and has part of his brain removed. The doctor comes in to see him
in the recovery room and says "A terrible mistake made, and we removed 3/4
of your brain instead of half. I'm sorry, I don't know how this mistake
could have happened."
The guy put his hand on his forehead and said "Ah...Mama Mia!"
--
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| Kevin Yetman | A dedication to the most beautiful girl|
| Merrimack College | I've ever seen: |
| Class of '92 | If I could see forever, |
| e-mail MIGHT reach me at: | I hope I'd find you there |
| yet...@merrimack.edu | Cause I love the way you smile |
| MasterCraft, O'Brien Skis, | And how the wind blows thru your hair|
| Arctic Cat, Survivor, Night Ranger | -me 1992 |
| and Richard Petty | |
| The above three lines are the best | |
| of everything. | |
|------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Second best IS Second Rate!!! |
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Simon B Proven IE91
Here is another just to keep the thread going forever: ;-)
Two polish nuns were cycling to get the groceries for lunch. The young
new nun said to the mother superior as they cycled along:
"Do we always come this way?"
Reply:
"Yes, it's the cobbles that do it."
SBP
Real peeps ride bike ;-)
te...@hls.com
Q: What happened when the Polish library burned to the ground?
A: Both books were destroyed and one hadn't even been colored in yet.
A Polish fox became caught in a trap. It chewed off three of its feet
only to find out it was still caught.
Q: Who pumped the 4 bullets into Mussolini when he was assassinated?
A: 100 Italian sharpshooters
At the local Vinegar Works, the Irish played the Italians a game of
football. When the 5 o'clock whistle blew, the Irishmen went home.
Four plays later, the Italians scored a touchdown.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Polack with a Mermaid?
A: Carp
A Polish girl considered getting an abortion because she didn't
think the baby was hers.
Q: If an Italian soldier throws a pin at you, what is the best thing
to do?
A: Run like hell because chances are he'll be holding a hand grenade
in his mouth.
Terry
Mike Fester
>
>A: 100 Italian sharpshooters
>
> to do?
>
>A: Run like hell because chances are he'll be holding a hand grenade
> in his mouth.
>
in case the enemey gets behind them.
Mike
PS any German jokes?
--
Disclaimer
These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X exit X Q ^C ^?
:quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit :!QUIT ^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^H ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit ^D ^d ^C ^c help exit ?Quit ?q
Mike Fester
>In article <1992Mar20.2...@jato.jpl.nasa.gov> vsn...@math.jpl.nasa.gov (Van Snyder) writes:
>>In article <1992Mar20.1...@galileo.cc.rochester.edu> e...@merlin.cvs.rochester.edu (Ethan Montag) writes:
>>>Why not combine them...
>>>
>>>Did you hear about the Polish Mafioso?
>>>
>>>He makes you an offer you can't understand.
>>
>>How about the new car called the Mafia: You open one hood
>>and there's another one.
>
>you?
> His girlfriend.
>
Did you hear about the Dago Tire Company?
DAgo through mud, dago through snow, and when dago flat, dago wop, wop, wop.
How do you know an Italian invented the helicopter?
The little blade goes "guinea, guinea, guinea" and the big blade goes
"wop, wop, wop".
Now, could we PLEASE have some German jokes?
Mike
--
Disclaimer - These opiini^H^H damn! ^H^H ^Q ^[ .... :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X ^?
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^[zz ^[ZZZZZZ ^H man vi ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit ^D ^d
man help ^C ^c help exit ?Quit ?q CtrlShftDel "Hey, what does this button d..."
Len Olszewski
[stuff deleted]
|>
|> Now, could we PLEASE have some German jokes?
|>
Joke 1:
I know a a guy who's half German and half Chinese. He opened a
restaurant last week. An hour after you eat there, you're hungry for
power.
Joke 2:
The German commandant of a WWII Stalag was noted for his viscious,
inhuman forms of torture. One hot, sweltering summer day, he told a
group of new prisoners: "You veel tell me all your seeecrets; until you
do, you must shtand in ze hot zun und move your head beck und forth
like zis, saying 'tick-tock, tick-tock'".
Well, all the new prisoners stood out there in the hot sun moving their
heads back and forth saying "tick-tock, tick-tock" and one by one they
started to drop. In the back row, however, was one cocky looking
American airman who looked fresh as a daisy, but he was just moving his
head to one side saying "tick, tick, tick".
Soon all of the soldiers had collapsed, except for the airman, moving
his head to one side saying "tick, tick, tick".
After several hours, the infuriated German commandant came outside
screaming at the airman, "You eeediot - don't you know ve heff vaze to
make you TOCK!!!!!"
<-------------------------------^------------------------------------->
| Len Olszewski | "Everytime I hear the word 'sugar' |
| Technical Writer | I get a lump in my throat." |
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M Ainsworth
>The German commandant of a WWII Stalag was noted for his viscious,
>inhuman forms of torture. One hot, sweltering summer day, he told a
>group of new prisoners: "You veel tell me all your seeecrets; until you
>do, you must shtand in ze hot zun und move your head beck und forth
>like zis, saying 'tick-tock, tick-tock'".
>
The British invented this long ago ... it's called Wimbledon.
Mike
---
(Note for rest of the world: that's a tennis tournament!)
--
"In the light of all my new knowledge, things are beginning to look very dark."
Mike Ainsworth M.Ain...@uk.ac.bath.maths
Greg Goebel
> PS any German jokes?
Ve chermans are not funny. Ve only laff ven ordered to by our superiors:
"You may laff now!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."
"SHTOP!"
"JAWOHL, MEIN HERR!"
Wile E. Coyote at the Acme Online Support Organization For The SouthWest
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