Hiney Wine
Clayton Cramer
> In article <1991Aug21.2...@sat.datapoint.com> b...@sat.datapoint.com (Brian Korinek) writes:
#
# Some fellow co-workers and I remembered that about 5-6 years ago
# there was a whole lot of commercials for Hiney Wine...
# They had slogans like Get You Some Hiney, etc...
#
# I never actually saw bottles of the wine and someone said it was all
# just a big joke???
#
# Of course you never saw the bottles: Hiney wine, the only wine that
# comes in a can :^).
Ah yes, the Tiny Hiney, for you athletes, and Red Hiney for the
secretaries and others engaged in sedentary jobs...
# One person remembered hearing the ads in Virginia...
# Can anyone actually say they tasted the stuff????
#
# I remember this too - you probably heard it on the "popular rock"
# radio station - I heard it on WDIZ in Orlando. According to them the
# winery was in Oviedo Fl (a very small suburb of Orlando) and they used
# to have a great time with the joke. It almost has to be a joke, since
# most radio stations seem to be on some sort of network: driving across
# the country you can hear what you think one station's special feature
# on different stations in different cities. For example, remember
# "gettin' the led out" where the radio station plays Led Zep for 15
# minutes or an hour or whatever, this was run simultaneously nationwide
# (though you'd never know it, it always sounded like each radio station
# claimed it for its own).
#
# j
Out here, the Hiney Winery was in Milpitas. (An almost plausible
location for a winery -- hey, this is California). Perhaps the
best of the bunch was when they announced that Hiney Winery and
the Rank Cheese Co. ("when America cuts the cheese, it's Rank")
were having a wine and cheese party. One of my sisters, sweet, but
a little slow on realizing her leg is being pulled, managed to
get all the way to the end of the commercial before realizing that
there was something...wrong.
--
Clayton E. Cramer {uunet,pyramid}!optilink!cramer My opinions, all mine!
"We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal, that
they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among
these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..." -- a Dead White Male
Bruce Stein
>In article <GATELEY.91...@egeria.rice.edu>, gat...@rice.edu (John Gateley) writes:
>> In article <1991Aug21.2...@sat.datapoint.com> b...@sat.datapoint.com (Brian Korinek) writes:
>#
># Some fellow co-workers and I remembered that about 5-6 years ago
># there was a whole lot of commercials for Hiney Wine...
># They had slogans like Get You Some Hiney, etc...
>#
># I never actually saw bottles of the wine and someone said it was all
># just a big joke???
>#
>
>location for a winery -- hey, this is California).
One of my friends had the dubious honor to have called the local station
(K101) and had them play live (on tape delay) two Hiney Wine commercials.
One had to do with being an unemployed auto worker whos job was hand rubbing
Hiney Wine into paint jobs. The other I can't remember just now.
A different associate was on travel to the Alburquerque heard the commercials
there. They had a difference, someone had produced "stuff" with the Hiney
Wine name. She got me a tee shirt with an image of a winery and "Big Red
and Thor Hiney" on the front, and the words "Ask me about my Hiney" on the
back. It is great.
Bruce " what do I do now? " Stein
Robert Hyatt
There actually was a "hiney" beer..... I think the real name was Heineken or
something like that..... I first heard of it when passing thru Jackson,
Mississippi on the way to Dallas once (years ago) and I stopped to buy a
can (I think can, but could have been a bottle) to see if such a thing really
existed.... the commercial said something like "come to the singles bar that
is crowded with beautiful women and grab a hiney...." the actual implementation
did not live up to the commercial...
John Brookhouse
that they could post or E-Mail to me. I don't know if anyone had the sense
to actually write them down...I know I didn't.
Here is a rough recreation of one of them:
(announcers voice)
Your hiney can be used as a driving aid.
Empty your hiney as much as possible.
Next, fill your empty hiney with cement.
Before the cement hardens, shove a meter stick in your hiney so that it
sticks out about 2 1/2 feet.
Place your hiney several yards behind your car.
Back up and see if you can hit the stick sticking out of your hiney, without
knocking over your hiney.
It went something like that. Those were truly classic commercials.
jo...@lclark.edu
The Joker
Brian Scearce
>Empty your hiney as much as possible.
>Next, fill your empty hiney with cement.
No, no, it's a *gerbil*, not cement.
Brian "Hiney Whine" Scearce
--
Brian Scearce (b...@robin.svl.cdc.com -or- robin!b...@shamash.cdc.com)
I'm thinking about a Silicon Valley WATPUB. Am I the only one here?
Any opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect CDC corporate policy.
CSTOR User
stick in your Hiney"
mtab...@amherst.bitnet
>># there was a whole lot of commercials for Hiney Wine...
>># They had slogans like Get You Some Hiney, etc...
>>#
>># I never actually saw bottles of the wine and someone said it was all
>># just a big joke???
>>#
>># Of course you never saw the bottles: Hiney wine, the only wine that
>># comes in a can :^).
>>
>># Can anyone actually say they tasted the stuff????
>>#
>># I remember this too - you probably heard it on the "popular rock"
>># radio station - I heard it on WDIZ in Orlando. According to them the
>># winery was in Oviedo Fl (a very small suburb of Orlando) and they used
>># to have a great time with the joke. It almost has to be a joke, since
>># most radio stations seem to be on some sort of network: driving across
>># the country you can hear what you think one station's special feature
>># on different stations in different cities. For example, remember
>># "gettin' the led out" where the radio station plays Led Zep for 15
>># minutes or an hour or whatever, this was run simultaneously nationwide
>># (though you'd never know it, it always sounded like each radio station
>># claimed it for its own).
>>#
>># j
>>
In fact, listeners in Springfield, MA [for example] can pick up three or more
stations on the same network, broadcasting the same interviews, with nearly
identical Voiceovers done by the same person, etc. And regarding Hiney,
a pop-rock station in Hartford did advertisements for Touche [sp?] Wine
for quite a while.. they may still do them. Lots of anal references. I
don't know if that's from the same wonderful people who brought us Hiney.
MTA
tjf...@bb1t.monsanto.com
The deal with the Hiney Wine ads was a hoax perpertrated by the
radio stations to sell advertising. Here is how it worked:
The radio station would advertise Hiney Wine... the only wine to come
in a can. They talked of up comming wine and cheese parties... come
by, grab some Hiney and cut some cheese. You only go around once in
life so grab all the Hiney you can get. It was always "made" locally
in a nearby small town with a stupid name. After advertising it for
a couple of months, they would do a market survey. In some areas
85% of the population had heard of the product... 15% said they had
tried it... it did not exist. The reason for all this? To show how
effective radio advertising was!
___________________________________
THEODORE J. FEUERBACH | |
Scientific Systems Consultant | You shouldn't have come here |
Trilogy Consulting, Inc. | brother! |
Lake St. Louis, MO | -Black Wolf |
(314) 537-6603 | |
tjf...@bb1t.monsanto.com |___________________________________|
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are MY OWN and obviously
not the opinions of Trilogy, Monsanto or either of my two ex-wives.