Exam stress and how to beat it!!!
Jolly Green Giant
1) Trinity College has a set of rules and regulations that
have not been updated for more than a century. One day recently
a student of classics was doing an exam, and called the invigilator over.
He politely requested his glass of port and his piece of cake.
Investigations were made and it turned out that under the rules of
the university, he was indeed entitled to this. So they had no
choice but to give it to him. Needless to say, everybody in the
room tried it then, and the college authorities got rather pissed off!
The next week, the authorities swooped on the student that had started
it all off, and severely disciplined him. The reason: He was a classics
student, and was crossing the campus with his ceremonial sword!!!!!
2) A student in this university, U.C.D., was rather anxious about an
exam, and decided he needed a little lift to help him during the paper.
He procured a speed tablet, and took it just before going into the exam.
About ten minutes later, the rush hit him and he started writing as fast
as he could. This continued for the three hours the exam was scheduled
for, and he emerged roaring that he had got a first, that it was the
best exam he had ever done etc.
About five weeks later the results were posted on the examinations board,
and his name wasn't there, meaning he hadn't passed. He raced up to the
relevant department, shouting and swearing. Eventually, the dean came
out to see him, and when he heard the student's name he brought him into
his office. He laid his exam script in front of the student, and said
"There's why you didn't pass!".
The student had written his name 10,000 times, on both sides of the
paper, filling two answer books.
3) There was a rumour a while back here, which caused much worry and
trouble around the campus. People told each other that if your exam
number was divisible by three, you would automatically pass.
Unfortunately, it wasn't true, as I found out to my cost!!!
If there are any other stories floating around concerning exams and
exam stress, I'd be interested to hear them!
Jim Gallagher.
EA KENDRICK
: Some famous stories about exams in the Dublin universities:
: If there are any other stories floating around concerning exams and
: exam stress, I'd be interested to hear them!
Try reading alt.folklore.college as there is a thread on the subject
wandering in and out of focus round there 8-)
Look MOM - No flames!!!!
-Ok son, now turn off the gas and don't switch on any lights till
after I've gone...
ObCrapPoemWhichIfYouComeFromBradfordYouWillKnowByNow8):
GRAPHITE
Why do they call it lead?
It's only Graphite.
If you eat it, it don't turn you mad.
It's only Graphite.
I've not gone funny in the head.
It's only Graphite.
Eating Graphite ain't that bad.
It tastes like Marmite.
Bad-Dum
Nyack Nyack Nyack Nyeerrr!
Eric Kendrick
--
[_] E-Mail e.a.ke...@bradford.ac.uk [_]
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[_ Q _] Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen. [_ Q _]
[_______] [_______]
Mike Janeczko
there were rumors that a professor was tired of his students not following
directions. On the final exam, the directions stated to read the entire \
test first before writing your answers, making sure you follow the directions
at the end of the test too. Well, the directions at the end stated that
if there were any pen/pencil marks or erasure marks on the answer sheet
you will automatically fail the exam. In essence, all you had to do was
to turn in the answer sheet totally blank, not even your name on it, to
receive an A on the exam. From now on, I always read the entire test
before writing anything on the answer sheet.
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Janeczko | Environmental Research Institute of Michigan
Research Scientist | P.O. Box 134001
internets: | Ann Arbor, MI 48113-4001
jane...@erim.org | Phone: (313) 994-1200 x2676
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Opinions granted by the First Amendment and guaranteed by the Second"
Johnson
>This may be urban legend, but around Wayne State University in Detroit, MI.,
>there were rumors that a professor was tired of his students not following
>directions. On the final exam, the directions stated to read the entire \
>test first before writing your answers, making sure you follow the directions
>at the end of the test too. Well, the directions at the end stated that
>if there were any pen/pencil marks or erasure marks on the answer sheet
>you will automatically fail the exam. In essence, all you had to do was
>to turn in the answer sheet totally blank, not even your name on it, to
>receive an A on the exam. From now on, I always read the entire test
>before writing anything on the answer sheet.
>
It has a whole list of arcane and ridiculous instructions, and the last
(of about 10 or 15) is "Ignore all previous instructions on the page and
just write your name in the upper right hand corner." This quiz comes at
the end of a couple of hours devoted to the importance of reading the
entire test (or whatever) before starting to work on it, and starts with
five minutes of admonishments by the instructor to 'be sure you read the
entire test before answering anything!' In my class, eighty percent of
the students screwed it up. Kind of makes you reconsider your viewpoint
on eugenics.
--
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson" | Behind every absurdity there lies a basic truth. |
| joh...@wes.mot.com | Behind every basic truth there lies an absurdity. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Kwong-hoon Andrew Park
>to turn in the answer sheet totally blank, not even your name on it, to
>receive an A on the exam. From now on, I always read the entire test
Then how does professor know who you are?
Bryan D. Boyle
Those that turn in exams with writing on them fail, all those who turn
in blank pages get an A (by default, if you don't write on the paper,
the prof will not know who turned in the blank paper. So (s)he fails
all the written-upon papers, marks them down, and then gives an A
to those not represented in the first group...sheesh....)
--
Bryan D. Boyle <>< |EMAIL: bdb...@erenj.com
#include <disclaimer> |Hack first and ask questions later.
908 730-3338 |ER & E Co. Rt. 22 East, Annandale, NJ
Richard Losey
>Some famous stories about exams in the Dublin universities:
[stories deleted]
>If there are any other stories floating around concerning exams and
>exam stress, I'd be interested to hear them!
At the University of Illinois (Urbana-Champaign), there are two stories I can
think of -- one of which I know to be true, for I was there....
1) During finals for a pre-med major (possibly engineering, but I think
pre-med), a student jumped to his feet in the middle of the exam, threw his
paper across the room, and basically had a nervous breakdown right on the spot.
2) [this one is definitely true] During Physics 102 (2nd semester physics,
dealing with heat, magnetism, etc), we had three tests. The professor made the
first one way too easy; there were several perfect scores (including mine). He
got his revenge during the second test. Unannounced, one of the questions on
the test was to give the length of a microwave in cm. I say "unannounced"
because it was common for teachers to go over in general what the test would
cover. Needless to say, there was a bit of an uproar over this question. The
professor attempted to defend the question by saying that physicsts should just
"know" certain constants, much like computer sci majors know that there are 8
bits in a byte. Weak, I thought. On the same test was a question that 75% of
the people taking the test had misread (including me) -- instead of admitting
the question was poorly worded, that same professor just decided that the
students didn't read carefully. I imagine that of the remaining 25%, 10% of
those either missed the question entirely or else made the right assumption
through dumb luck.
--
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Richard W Losey (rlo...@sdf.lonestar.org)
"My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure."
Andrew Rogers
>there were rumors that a professor was tired of his students not following
Well, I don't know if this particular incident is true or not, but my 8th
grade Social Studies teacher gave us an exam with the instructions "answer
every question wrong". Also, ETS once reported that a sizable number of
people who take the SATs don't read the instructions on the "antonyms"
section and check off the synonyms instead.
Andrew
Alan Morgan
>This may be urban legend, but around Wayne State University in Detroit, MI.,
>there were rumors that a professor was tired of his students not following
>directions. On the final exam, the directions stated to read the entire
>test first before writing your answers, making sure you follow the directions
>at the end of the test too. Well, the directions at the end stated that
>if there were any pen/pencil marks or erasure marks on the answer sheet
>you will automatically fail the exam. In essence, all you had to do was
>to turn in the answer sheet totally blank, not even your name on it, to
>receive an A on the exam. From now on, I always read the entire test
>before writing anything on the answer sheet.
FWIW I actually was given one of these tests, although it was in Junior
High not college. Our test was a *little* more ridiculous in that
we had to stand up next to our desks and sing a few bars of some song,
shout "PING", &tc. I passed.
>Michael Janeczko | Environmental Research Institute of Michigan
Alan
----
EFI agrees with me 100% on matters of fact. The above isn't and they don't.
-----> Mail abuse to: al...@efi.com <-----
Alias 'C Frog'. Keeper of the alt.tasteless song and part-time evil genius.
Alan Morgan
>>Then how does professor know who you are?
>
>Those that turn in exams with writing on them fail, all those who turn
>in blank pages get an A (by default, if you don't write on the paper,
>the prof will not know who turned in the blank paper. So (s)he fails
>all the written-upon papers, marks them down, and then gives an A
>to those not represented in the first group...sheesh....)
Right. So I, being foolish, scribble all over my paper. I then
read the last sentence. "Gadzooks", I think, "I have been foolish".
So I don't turn the paper in.
And get an A.
Try again.
>Bryan D. Boyle <>< |EMAIL: bdb...@erenj.com
Alan
Joanne Garlow
time ) but as long as people are talking about screwed up exams, I had
a Physics exam once with only 2 questions (equations to solve). The
first one was worth 60% of the test and the prof mistyped it (He put a
- where there should have been a +) and basically the proof had no
solution. The best part was, he gave full credit to people who put
"Obviously you made a mistake and so I am going to solve this problem
with a + sign" but for the other 95% of the students who actually
tried to solve the question as written, he gave little to no credit.
He was such a jerk anyway - class was supposed to meet for 2 hours,
twice a week but 9am was too early for him, so he decided to cut off a
half hour of class - sounds good but what it came down to was that we
didn't cover 1/4 of the material we were supposed to. Then he missed
two weeks of a 15 week class for seminar. Basically all 30 Physics
majors in that class had to retake the class.
Not very funny but this may make you feel better about your exams!
--
######################################################################
# | #
# Joanne Hartman Garlow | A plan? #
# | You mean we are supposed #
# gar...@sunland.gsfc.nasa.gov | to have a plan? #
# | #
######################################################################
Gary Heston
Or, just get up and walk out, with your paper--if you bothered to
show up in the first place.
--
Gary Heston SCI Systems, Inc. ga...@sci34hub.sci.com site admin
The Chairman of the Board and the CFO speak for SCI. I'm neither.
Hestons' First Law: I qualify virtually everything I say.
Johnson
=)In article <1uj01l$1...@ulloa.efi.com> al...@gateway.efi.com (Alan Morgan) writes:
=)|In article <1993Jun1.1...@erenj.com>
=)| bdb...@erenj.com (Bryan D. Boyle) writes:
=)|
=)|>>Then how does professor know who you are?
=)|>
=)|>Those that turn in exams with writing on them fail, all those who turn
=)|>in blank pages get an A (by default, if you don't write on the paper,
=)|>the prof will not know who turned in the blank paper. So (s)he fails
=)|>all the written-upon papers, marks them down, and then gives an A
=)|>to those not represented in the first group...sheesh....)
=)|
=)|Right. So I, being foolish, scribble all over my paper. I then
=)|read the last sentence. "Gadzooks", I think, "I have been foolish".
=)|So I don't turn the paper in.
=)|
=)|And get an A.
=)
=)Or, just get up and walk out, with your paper--if you bothered to
=)show up in the first place.
=)
These seem like good solutions--except for the fact that you had to be
stupid enough to screw up the exam in the first place, so it seems unlikely
that you'll come up with this elegant solution to your problem at the last
minute, even if you get to the last question. It's rare that
one becomes exceedingly clever during the course of an exam--in my
experience, it's usually the other way around.
--
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| "Johnson" | Behind every absurdity there lies a basic truth. |
| joh...@wes.mot.com | Behind every basic truth there lies an absurdity. |
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
Jeff Sandler
>These seem like good solutions--except for the fact that you had to be
>stupid enough to screw up the exam in the first place, so it seems unlikely
>that you'll come up with this elegant solution to your problem at the last
>minute, even if you get to the last question. It's rare that
>one becomes exceedingly clever during the course of an exam--in my
>experience, it's usually the other way around.
You mean exams become exeedingly clever during the course of a one?
Or one becomes exceedingly exam during the course of a clever?
--
Jeff Sandler | Go Florida State Seminoles!
jsan...@encore.com | Go Marlins! Go Panthers!
Encore Computer Corp.; Plantation, FL | Go Dolphins! Go Heat!
Timothy A. Limon
Final, it became painfully obvious that I couldn't answer all of the
questions. Some wer extreemly hard! So, I got up about half-way
through the test and turned in my paper. On the way out the door
I smiled and exclaimed, "PIECE OF CAKE!..."
--
___________________________________________________________________________
Timothy A. Limon | This Space | I Got Blista's
Cupertino, Ca. | Intentionally | on mah
@--->----- | Left Blank | Fingahs!
Paul Ross
>In article <1993May27.1...@ccvax.ucd.ie> h235...@ccvax.ucd.ie (Jolly Green Giant) writes:
>through dumb luck.
>"My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure."
During my a pre GCSE physics exam we were given the problem of measuring
the height of a building using a barometer and given several air pressure
constants.
I replied the best and quickest way to calculate the height was to throw
the barometer off the top and count how long it took to hit the bottom.
ie v = 9.81 (t)
KE = PE = .5v^2 = gh
.5 * (9.81(t))^2 = gh
therefor h = (.5 * (9.81(t))^2) / 9.81
The school would not except my answer but after much arguing they decided
to allow it.
Paul
EXT 3412
> (Alan Morgan) writes:
> |In article <1993Jun1.1...@erenj.com> bdb...@erenj.com
> |(Bryan D. Boyle) writes:
> |
> |>>Then how does professor know who you are?
> |>
> |>Those that turn in exams with writing on them fail, all those who turn
> |>in blank pages get an A (by default, if you don't write on the paper,
> |>the prof will not know who turned in the blank paper. So (s)he fails
> |>all the written-upon papers, marks them down, and then gives an A
> |>to those not represented in the first group...sheesh....)
> |
> |Right. So I, being foolish, scribble all over my paper. I then
> |read the last sentence. "Gadzooks", I think, "I have been foolish".
> |So I don't turn the paper in.
> |
> |And get an A.
OR
If I read the instructions, I could sign the test Jim "Bully" Schablotnic
with whom I had a run in just we went to class.
DAN
Vartan Narinian
>
>During my a pre GCSE physics exam we were given the problem of measuring
>the height of a building using a barometer and given several air pressure
>constants.
>
>I replied the best and quickest way to calculate the height was to throw
>the barometer off the top and count how long it took to hit the bottom.
>
>ie v = 9.81 (t)
>
> KE = PE = .5v^2 = gh
>
> .5 * (9.81(t))^2 = gh
>
> therefor h = (.5 * (9.81(t))^2) / 9.81
>
>The school would not except my answer but after much arguing they decided
>to allow it.
They shouldn't have accepted it. Since you were trying to be a smartass,
they should tell you that you didn't take air resistance into account...
Vartan
Kalaria
somewhere else before that he had made the final multiple choice, which the
students had been begging for (he rarely gives mult. choice).
Well, every single answer on the test was 'E,' none of the above.
--
| "Bum-Lookers!" | "SHE'S GONE FROM SUCK TO BLOW!!!" |
| -Simon | -_Spaceballs_ |
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|"If medicine tasted good, sick people might be tempted to stay sick so that|
|they could enjoy the medicine. The worse it tastes, the quicker you get |
|well." -_Guardians of the West_
Ilphay
And if the school wanted to be a smart-butt, they could also say
you didn't account for the speed of light so you can know when
the barometer hits the bottom. Even I can recognize the difference
between a GCSE question and a thoid grade (highschool) physics
question and the only physics I had was statics-dynamics.
Don Peterson
>joh...@comm.mot.com ("Johnson") writes:
>>These seem like good solutions--except for the fact that you had to be
>>stupid enough to screw up the exam in the first place, so it seems unlikely
>>that you'll come up with this elegant solution to your problem at the last
>>minute, even if you get to the last question. It's rare that
>>one becomes exceedingly clever during the course of an exam--in my
>>experience, it's usually the other way around.
>
>You mean exams become exeedingly clever during the course of a one?
>Or one becomes exceedingly exam during the course of a clever?
He meant that one becomes exceedingly course during the exam of a clever.
Dave Lord
lu...@iccgcc.decnet.ab.com (EXT 3412) writes:
> In article <1993Jun4.0...@sci34hub.sci.com>, ga...@sci34hub.sci.com
> (Gary Heston) writes:
> > (Alan Morgan) writes:
> > |In article <1993Jun1.1...@erenj.com> bdb...@erenj.com
> > |(Bryan D. Boyle) writes:
> > |
> > |>>Then how does professor know who you are?
> > |>
> > |>Those that turn in exams with writing on them fail, all those who turn
> > |>in blank pages get an A (by default, if you don't write on the paper,
> > |>the prof will not know who turned in the blank paper. So (s)he fails
> > |>all the written-upon papers, marks them down, and then gives an A
> > |>to those not represented in the first group...sheesh....)
> > |
> > |Right. So I, being foolish, scribble all over my paper. I then
> > |read the last sentence. "Gadzooks", I think, "I have been foolish".
> > |So I don't turn the paper in.
> > |
> > |And get an A.
The version of this test that I've seen has as it's last instruction:
Ignore all previous instructions,
write your name at the top and don't make any other marks on the paper.
I actually had a teacher give this test in a high school class nearly
20 years ago. He didn't actually grade it, just used it to make a
point.
Anthony Shipman
In any case the formula is wrong:
KE = PE = .5mv^2 = mgh
2 marks off.
--
Anthony Shipman "You've got to be taught before it's too late,
CP Software Export Pty Ltd, Before you are six or seven or eight,
19 Cato St., East Hawthorn, To hate all the people your relatives hate,
Melbourne, Australia, 3121 You've got to be carefully taught." R&H
E-mail: a...@cpsg.com.au
Brown, William J.
>ppe...@mason1.gmu.edu (Ilphay) writes:
>
>>In article <1993Jun5.1...@cc.ic.ac.uk> v...@ic.ac.uk (Vartan Narinian) writes:
>>>In article <1993Jun3.0...@pat.uwe.ac.uk> pa_...@pat.uwe.ac.uk (Paul Ross) writes:
>>>>
>>>>During my a pre GCSE physics exam we were given the problem of measuring
>>>>the height of a building using a barometer and given several air pressure
>>>>constants.
>>>>
>>>>I replied the best and quickest way to calculate the height was to throw
>>>>the barometer off the top and count how long it took to hit the bottom.
>>>>
>>>>ie v = 9.81 (t)
>>>>
>>>> KE = PE = .5v^2 = gh
>>>>
>>>> .5 * (9.81(t))^2 = gh
>>>>
>>>> therefor h = (.5 * (9.81(t))^2) / 9.81
>>>>
>>>>The school would not except my answer but after much arguing they decided
>>>>to allow it.
>>>
>
> KE = PE = .5mv^2 = mgh
>2 marks off.
>--
I believe it's still ok to divide out the mass m. I got my BS in physics
from the Univ. of Kentucky, so maybe hillbilly physics is different. Anyway,
here's my joke.
These two foreigners are walking up the streets of New York. They've just
gotten off the boat and they're really hungry. They see a sign that says
"Hot Dogs", so one of the foreigners says, "I did not know they eat dogs
here in America." So they go into the restaurant and order, "Two dogs please".
When the waiter brings the hot dogs, one of the foreigners looks between the
bun and sees the weiner and pokes his buddy, "What part did you get?"
bill
ke...@advtech.uswest.com
In article <1993Jun6.1...@gmuvax.gmu.edu> ppe...@mason1.gmu.edu (Ilphay) writes:
>In article <1993Jun5.1...@cc.ic.ac.uk> v...@ic.ac.uk (Vartan Narinian) writes:
>>In article <1993Jun3.0...@pat.uwe.ac.uk> pa_...@pat.uwe.ac.uk (Paul Ross) writes:
>>>
>>>During my a pre GCSE physics exam we were given the problem of measuring
>>>the height of a building using a barometer and given several air pressure
>>>constants.
>>>
>>>I replied the best and quickest way to calculate the height was to throw
>>>the barometer off the top and count how long it took to hit the bottom.
Come on guys, the correct way to use a barometer to determine the height of the
building is to find the superintendent of the building, and offer to give him
this nice barometer if he'll tell you how tall the building is. Another option
is to attach the barometer to a piece of string, stand on top of the building, lower
it to the bottom, and see how much string you've used. Of course, you could always
sell the barometer, and take the money to town hall and use it to buy a copy of the
building's blueprints.
James C. Fish
Pawn the barometer and bribe the building engineer for a look at the
specs.
Alfred Wan
No no.
He mean that the one exam exceedingly course during the become of a clever.
Am I making myself clear??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
---
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alfred Wan | This space
Department of Computer Science | for
University of Queensland, Queensland, Australia | sale.
email:alf...@cs.uq.oz.au | Enquries within.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
cdk...@inland.com
>
> Come on guys, the correct way to use a barometer to determine the height of the
> building is to find the superintendent of the building, and offer to give him
> this nice barometer if he'll tell you how tall the building is. Another option
> is to attach the barometer to a piece of string, stand on top of the building, lower
> it to the bottom, and see how much string you've used. Of course, you could always
> sell the barometer, and take the money to town hall and use it to buy a copy of the
> building's blueprints.
Hey lets just threaten the teacher with the barometer to give us an A.
I never really figure out the purpose of the question was for a grade
and not to really find the height, this old joke got side tracked on
the real goal.
Of course the physic student already gave his answer
the mathematician said a soution exists and reduce to a previously solution
and an Engineer just blows the building up and say height = 0.
(he bribes a dynomite expert with the barometer)
By the way it is a course grade that got clever.
cdkelly
Kevin W. McAuley
'beat' it? :)
chevyn