Orgasm Puns
C Whelchel
Newlyweds get "soregasms"
Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
Teenagers usually at one point in their lives experience:
four-in-the-floorgasms.
Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
I know of no one who has: I-abhorgasms
Goalies have: scoregasms
I was married to a man who had: snoregasms (well, that was *his*
excuse)
Golfers have: foregasms
--
"I m hukd on foniks. Iz ther a suport grup I can joyn?"
Euph...@ix.netcom.com now using the all new
View-Master Technology
Thomas M. Rothacker
Whelchel) wrote:
> Let's get ready to rrrumble:
>
>
> Newlyweds get "soregasms"
>
> Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
>
> Teenagers usually at one point in their lives experience:
> four-in-the-floorgasms.
>
> Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
>
> Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
>
> I know of no one who has: I-abhorgasms
>
> Goalies have: scoregasms
>
> I was married to a man who had: snoregasms (well, that was *his*
> excuse)
>
> Golfers have: foregasms
Don't forget:
Hockey players have... Bobby Orrgasms.
+-----------------------+
| Thomas M. Rothacker |
| tom.ro...@asu.edu |
+-----------------------+
Herb Kateley
>Let's get ready to rrrumble:
>Newlyweds get "soregasms"
>Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
Does this mean that sweet-toothed campers get SMORE-gasms?
(Please feel free to groan)
>--
>"I m hukd on foniks. Iz ther a suport grup I can joyn?"
> Euph...@ix.netcom.com now using the all new
> View-Master Technology
>
--
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Frank Reid
> In <3e5av3$p...@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com> euph...@ix.netcom.com (C Whelchel) writes:
>
>
> >Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
>
>
> (Please feel free to groan)
Where I work, if someone drops a screw and crawls around hunting it,
everybody yells "FLOORGASM!"
--
Frank re...@indiana.edu
Chris Pisarra
Do the girls of San Diego have Marine Corps-gasms?
--
==============================================================================
Chris Pisarra Any questions?
pis...@ccnet.com Any answers?
Any rags, any bones, any bottles today?
==============================================================================
C Whelchel
(Thomas M. Rothacker) writes:
Which reminded me...
Burt Reynolds *used* to give... Dinah Shoregasms.
C Whelchel
writes:
..feeling free but can't find the groan! *smile*
Star Trek Next Generation fans (sheesh):
Data just doesn't get those Lorgasms.
J. Venturelli
: Let's get ready to rrrumble:
: Newlyweds get "soregasms"
: Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
: Teenagers usually at one point in their lives experience:
: four-in-the-floorgasms.
: Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
: Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
: I know of no one who has: I-abhorgasms
: Goalies have: scoregasms
: I was married to a man who had: snoregasms (well, that was *his*
: excuse)
: Golfers have: foregasms
Self Centered Lovers get I-Got-Mine-You-get Yourgasms
Anthony Smith
>In <tom.rothacker-0...@131.127.13.130> tom.ro...@asu.edu
>(Thomas M. Rothacker) writes:
>>> Let's get ready to rrrumble:
>>> Newlyweds get "soregasms"
>Burt Reynolds *used* to give... Dinah Shoregasms.
[loads deleted]
[Sorry, but this stupid thing won't post if I have more re-post than]
[post (Ooops, I guess that was a little freudian of me)]
And I guess this means that everyone reading this must be looking for
that ultimate Rec.humorgasm.....
-A.C.E.S. (yes, they're my real initials)
-No, no, no...The QUICKEST way to a man's heart is NOT through his stomach,
it's through his RIBCAGE.
Gary Barth
re...@indiana.edu (Frank Reid) writes:
Here at the Turkey Point nuclear power plant, they have core-gasms!
(and they say a little nukie never hurt anybody...right!)
************************************************************
* Gary Barth - epg...@email.mot.com flask...@aol.com *
************************************************************
* "The difficult we do immediately! *
* The impossible takes a little longer!" *
************************************************************
cre...@rorc.usbm.gov
: Let's get ready to rrrumble:
: Newlyweds get "soregasms"
: Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
: Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
: Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
: Goalies have: scoregasms
:
mines have ore-gasms
farmers have chore-gasms
Yet Another Canonical Compiler
Cannibals have carnivorgasms.
Edgar Allan Poe had Lenorgasms followed by Nevermorgasms.
Musicians have encorgasms.
Orgies give rise to fourscorgasms.
Pee Wee Herman has theater-floorgasms.
Prostitutes get whoregasms.
Wonko The Sane
> In article <19950103154714.reid@frank_reid.electronics.indiana.edu>
> re...@indiana.edu (Frank Reid) writes:
>
>> In Article <3ecadm$d...@linda.teleport.com> "he...@teleport.com (Herb Kateley)" says:
>> > In <3e5av3$p...@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com> euph...@ix.netcom.com (C Whelchel) writes:
>> >
>> > >Newlyweds get "soregasms"
>> >
>> > >Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
>> >
>> > Does this mean that sweet-toothed campers get SMORE-gasms?
>> >
>> > (Please feel free to groan)
>>
>>
>> When you go to sleep before you finish, it's a snoregasm.
>>
>> Where I work, if someone drops a screw and crawls around hunting it,
>> everybody yells "FLOORGASM!"
>>
> Here at the Turkey Point nuclear power plant, they have core-gasms!
> (and they say a little nukie never hurt anybody...right!)
Tipper has GORE-gasms
Bill has GET-ME-A-WHORE-gasms
*hehe*
Matthew Barton
Capt. Picard has "Make it so-gasms"
Conselor Troi has "Betazoi-gasms"
Commander Riker never has any
(why not?! he always has "SHIELD'S UP!!!")
and Hugh has, of course "Borgasms"
for the old-timers ...
Scotty has "She can't take any more-gasms"
Kirk has none! HE'S DEAD, JIM (that is!)
--
----\____/----\____/----\____/----\____/----\____/----\____/----\____/
"Basically, I believe in peace and bashing two bricks together."
- Archbishop Gumby, Monty Pythons Flying Circus
fa...@rs6000.adm.fau.edu -- Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton, FL
http://cm105.irm.fau.edu/faxgb/home.htm
Michel Rottmann
>>
>> Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
>>
>> Teenagers usually at one point in their lives experience:
>> four-in-the-floorgasms.
>>
>> Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
>>
>> Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
>>
>> I know of no one who has: I-abhorgasms
>>
>> Goalies have: scoregasms
>>
>> I was married to a man who had: snoregasms (well, that was *his*
>> excuse)
>>
>> Golfers have: foregasms
TM>Don't forget:
TM>Hockey players have... Bobby Orrgasms.
Miners have ore-gasms
Mushrooms are limited to sporegasms
Grocers have storegasms
And Marco Polo had exploregasms
-®< R O T >¯-
---
þ 1st 1.11 #2645 þ I never metamorphosis who wasn't willing to change.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internet: michel....@megasystem.com (Michel Rottmann)
This message was processed by NetXpress from Merlin Systems Inc.
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C Whelchel
(Michel Rottmann) writes:
Guys who suffer from premature ejaculation have: beforegasms
Selfish men have: I-got-mine-you-get-yourgasms
(yeah, I was married to that one too)
E.
James R. Hendrick
Path: dur-news.ctron.com!ctron-news.ctron.com!noc.near.net!cambridge-news.cygnus.com!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!gatech!swiss.ans.net!jabba.cybernetics.net!jav
From: j...@cybernetics.net (J. Venturelli)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Date: 4 Jan 1995 17:20:25 GMT
Organization: Cybernetx, Inc.
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References: <3e5av3$p...@ixnews3.ix.netcom.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: server0.cybernetics.net
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
: Newlyweds get "soregasms"
: Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
: Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
: Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
: Goalies have: scoregasms
: Golfers have: foregasms
BayWatch lifeguards have shore-gasms
prostitutes have whore-gasms
lion tamers have roar-gasms
herpes sufferers have its-only-a-cold-sore-gasms
Abraham Lincoln had Four-Score-gasms . . . (whew)
fashion designers have Christian-Dior-gasms
--
// James R. Hendrick <hend...@ctron.com> PGP 2.6 Key ID 0A963199 //
// //
// Cabletron Systems Inc. voice: (603) 337-7572 //
// P. O. Box 5005 fax: (603)337-7370 //
// Rochester, NH 03867-5005 //
// //
// My opinions, etc. are exclusively the property of nobody in particular. //
Roger M. Wilcox
--
Roger M. Wilcox rog...@cisco.com (a.k.a. tra...@netcom.com)
------------------- I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low. ----------------
"As of now I'm taking charge." -- Alexander Haig
"Megatron is down! I am your new leader!" -- Starscream
E:DEMONSPOOLMAIL
> >TM>> Newlyweds get "soregasms"
> > >>
> > >> Nymphos have: let's-do-it-some-moregasms
> > >>
> > >> Teenagers usually at one point in their lives experience:
> > >> four-in-the-floorgasms.
> > >>
> > >> Salesmen have "door-to-doorgasms"
> > >>
> > >> Virgins scream out: my-hymen-got-torgasms
> > >>
> > >> I know of no one who has: I-abhorgasms
> > >>
> > >> Goalies have: scoregasms
> > >>
> > >> I was married to a man who had: snoregasms (well, that was *his*
> > >> excuse)
> > >>
> > >> Golfers have: foregasms
> >
> >
> >TM>Don't forget:
> >
> >TM>Hockey players have... Bobby Orrgasms.
> >
> >Miners have ore-gasms
> >Mushrooms are limited to sporegasms
> >Grocers have storegasms
> >And Marco Polo had exploregasms
> Guys who suffer from premature ejaculation have: beforegasms
>
> Selfish men have: I-got-mine-you-get-yourgasms
>
> (yeah, I was married to that one too)
Just a few more points:
1. Perfectionists have puregasms.
2. Lifeguards have shoregasms.
3. Farmers have manuregasms.
4. Beauticians have manicuregasms.
5. Harlots have whoregasms.
6. I have ORGASMS!
7. Fat people have food-galoregasms.
8. Surrealists have ftrghhgdoioregasms.
9. Dyslexics have rogasms.
10. Martina Navratilova doesn't.
Mat.