Veterans' Day Puns
Tim Bruening
Eldish, Oldish: Old plate.
Kurdish: Plate of cheese.
Prudish: Plate that's conservative about sex.
Tim Bruening
Admitting: Bell that rings to allow you in.
Alerting: Bell that rings warning.
Affording: Cheap bell.
Affording: One bell that wades across a river.
Tim Bruening
Asserting: Bell that knows what it wants.
Assuming: Chinese vase that jumps to conclusions.
Attracting: Bell that people like.
Betting: Casino bell.
Tim Bruening
Presenting: Bell at Christmas.
Preventing: Bell that avoids accidents.
Providing: Bell that wins the bread and brings home the beacon.
Putting: Bell at the golf course.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42926600...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Gleaming: Shiny vase.
> >
> > Priming: First vase.
> >
> > Trimming: A fit vase.
> >
> > Perfecting: Bell with no flaws.
> >
> > Petting: Companion animal bell.
>
> These vases must be so worn out by now, you'll get nothing for them in
> auction.
Squirming: A snake vase.
Tim Bruening
Excrescent: Former Muslim symbol.
Excrete: Former island in the Atlantic near Greece and Turkey.
Excurrent: No more electricity.
Execute: No longer cute.
Exhale: Former revolutionary sailor.
Tim Bruening
Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 21:36:54 -0500, "Nellie Rumery"
> <slr...@adelphia.net> wrote:
>
> >> >>> No I prefer my men to ball my three to four times not bash.
> >> >>
> >> >>Is this in Norwegian, or what?
> >> >
> >> >You'd probably have understood Norwegian.
> >>
> >> I think we of rec.humor and atj should have an joint annual "Post Like
> >> Nellie Rumery Day." <g>
> >>
> >
> > Are you wanting to man bash also Larry that is ok i need no help.
> > Thanks for the offer.
>
> So we're already starting?
Starting: Musical sun.
Starting: Musical famous actor.
Starting: First bell.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42296951...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On Tue, 20 Jan 2004 09:40:59 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> > > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > >Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > >> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > > >> news:1h3o00poln22bn08r...@4ax.com...
> > > >>> On Mon, 19 Jan 2004 00:16:32 -0800, "Jenni Saqua"
> > > >>> <mara...@spamnetscape.net> found these unused words floating
> about:
> > > >>>
> > > >>>> I either have a crush on one of the actors on CSI... or I'm just
> > > >>>> being swayed by the bawdy of evidence.
> > > >>>>
> > > >>> My 'a my! Just can't LV them alone? If it gets too bad you could be
> > > >>> suing Sidle.
> > > >>>
> > > >> Some of us Calleigh fornians (a la Arnold) are too laid back to sue.
> > > >> But, perhaps I cadaver arrested ...?
> > > >
> > > >This thread is autopsy turvy :-(
> > > >
> > > You could always give Viv a section to work on ...
> >
> > Autopsy: Ocean of car tops.
>
> Lithotripsy: Ocean where you fall over smashed up lumps of people's kidney
> stones.
Kidney: Knee of a child.
Beanie: Knee of an apine.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42296B43...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4129B3E7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > VAT: Tax on beer.
> > > >
> > > > Hebrew: What a male beer maker did.
> > >
> > > North Semitic: A gove-wearing ancestor of his who used to sail the
> > seas
> > > between the UK and Scandinavia.
> > >
> >
> > Semitic: Jewish parasite (the insect, not the human).
>
> Half a flea would have been a safer ting to say! - unless you're trying to
> do an imitation of Ken Livingstone!
>
> He's coming very close to losing my vote!
>
> http://icnorthlondononline.icnetwork.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15258169&method=
> full&siteid=50102&headline=livingstone-attacks-israel-s-pm-name_page.html
>
> http://news.google.com/news?q=+%22Ken+Livingstone%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N
> &as_qdr=all&tab=nn&oi=newsr
>
> Unless your reader supports links this long, you'll have to copy and paste
> these URLs into the Address Field or they won't work.
>
> Address Field: Piece of agricultural land that's going to have houses built
> on it.
Address Field: Field to which female lower clothing will be added.
Douglas D. Anderson
Exasperated: 4 out of 5 Doctors no longer recommend those ingredients.
nemo
. . or someone who's not fit anymore.
nemo
"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:lEjdf.210$JQ...@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
Are they aspirin to become specialists.
nemo
Prudense Kitten: A stupid catlet.
http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/children/other/prudence.htm
A mad Vegetarian kitten: Nut Catlet!
nemo
Ford Popular: Car that lets off small exlosions whenever it crosses a river.
nemo
Monty Carlow: A casino owner with one of those custom automobiles you have
to sort of slide into because it's only about 2ft tall.
Nemo
Not for nothing the NUmbo One Punster!
For £28 - 16s - 2d actually! (Inflation.)
Who's da man?? Who's da man??
nemo
Spanish golfer gets shot! - Hole in Juan!
nemo
Squirm: One of the many small elongated soft-bodied animals especially of
the phyla Annelida and Chaetognatha and Nematoda and Nemertea and
Platyhelminthe with four equal sides and four wry tangles.
So there!
nemo
Starting Handel: The solo instrument if he'd ever written a concerto for the
Triangle!
nemo
Hat worn by a caveman when he was sitting by a coastal inlet making thin
flint cutting tools: Bay Spall Cap!
nemo
Nicaragua: Someone who makes ladies' nether underwear out of cloth scraps.
Nether Nether Land: Fictitious country entirely populated by bums!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Concerto: Singing toe.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Concerto: Against the foot digits of knights, especially if the foot digits
sing.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
nemo
Or his hat-undoubtedly worn back-to-front!