Borg Puns
John A Kusters, jr.
The list you are about to see is a list of Star Trek: The Next
Generation jokes/puns about the creatures known as the Borg. I take
little credit/responsibility for them. In fact, many of them come
from people who I've lost their addresses <speak up if you know who
you are...> We are keeping a canonical list, so if you come up with
any that we missed, please send them to jkus...@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU
As inspired by the episode "Best of Both Worlds" <and a fermented
imagination :->
How many Borgs does it take to change a light bulb?
Lightbulbs-are-irrelevant.
What do you call a Borg actor who's a ham?
Ernest BORGnine.
What do you call a Borg with a long nose?
Cyrano De BORGerac.
What is a Borg's favorite cut of meat?
BORG chops.
What is the Borg's favorite Broadway show?
BORGie and Bess.
What is the Borg's favorite movie?
BORG on the Fourth of July.
What did the Surfer Borg say when there were no waves at the beach?
Totally BORGus!
How do you keep a Borg very busy?
while (1) {
BORG ();
};
What kind of sound does a Borg Pet make?
BORG! BORG!
What did the confused Borg say?
It BORGlles the mind!
What did one Borg scanner say to the other Borg scanner?
Read any good BORGs lately?
>From cam...@polyslo.calpoly.edu
What does Picard drink at dinner with his brother?
A glass of BORGundy wine.
What do they call Borgs that live in Australia?
aBORGigines?
What is most beautiful sight on the Borg planet?
Aurora BORGealis.
What is the Borg's favorite brand of cigarette?
MarlBORGo.
Where do Borgs go to do research?
The LaBORGatory?
What do they call a newborn Borg?
A NewBORG.
Where do Borgs go for cheap sex?
A BORGdello.
And in *EXTREMELY* poor taste, what did the female borg unit
do when Picard knocked her up?
An aBORGtion. <sorry about that, no offense intended>
>From dde...@polyslo.calpoly.edu
What is the Borg's favorite computer?
The OsBORG.
>From cidz...@polyslo.calpoly.edu
Who was Batborg's faithful companion?
Robin the BORG wonder.
Why wasn't Jean-Luc a true Borg?
He wasn't Bjorn BORG.
>From me (jkus...@polyslo.calpoly.edu)
Who is the Borg children's favorite muppet?
Big BORG.
What do you say about Borgs with dandruff?
BORGS of a feather flake together.
What do Borgs have during sex?
A BORGasm.
What is the Borg favorite fast food?
HamBORGers.
Where do Borgs go to "Have it their way"?
To BORGer King.
The Borg being such a communal beast, I think we should not forget the
great Borg leader:
Mikhail BORGachev.
What do Russian Borgs eat?
BORGscht!
What kind of computers to Borgs use?
BORGstation 3000 (or maybe the BoRG cube)
New CSL warning sign:
ABSOLUTELY NO
-Smoking
-Eating
-Drinking
-Borging
allowed in the lab.
RTBM: Read the BORGing manual!
What do Italian Borgs eat?
Spaghetti and BORG balls.
What do Midwestern Borgs eat in bars?
Rocky mountain BORGsters!
Picard may like BORGundy but I prefer BORGolais.
What do Borg mothers say about other Borg mothers' babies?
How aBORGable!
You forgot their favorite seafood plate - Lobster NewBORG
The first line of a Borg C program:
void main(int borgv, char *borgc[])
And the reason the Borg were lax in their security and were defeated?
They thought it was a BORG-gone conclusion!
Q What was Captain Picard after Dr. Crusher removed his cyberware?
A A borg again human.
Q What do you call the borg who kidnaped Captain Picard?
A A Capt. borgular
Q What did the Federation do after the borg ship exploded?
A They had a borg-b-q
Q Where do borgs go after high school?
A U.C. Borgkeley
Q What computer RPG do adolescent borgs play?
A Borg's Tale
Q Which state is entirely populated by borgs?
A Boregon
Q What laundry detergent is most frequently used by borgs?
A Borgax (Borax)
Q What brand of candy do borgs like to eat?
A Borgens (Bordens)
Q What kind of car do most borgs drive?
A A volkswagon borg
Q What game do adult borgs like to play?
A borgamin
Q What movie do most borgs like?
A Three men and a borgby
Medusa and the Borgons turned people to stone.
"Be careful. You might just get more than you borgained for."
"It's just the tip of the iceborg."
"Borg off"
Well, I hope I didn't BORG ya!
JOhn.
--
/-----------------------------------------------------------------------------\
* John A Kusters, jr. jkus...@polyslo.CalPoly.EDU *
* "Now it's over I'm dead and I haven't done anything that I want * One World *
\_Or, I'm still alive and there is nothing I want to do..."-TMBG__*_One Net___/