Funky stuff - part 117
Henry Cate VII
The latest sports news:
Real Madrid 1 - Surreal Madrid Fish
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Three women are chatting about the various attributes of their men ...
1st woman: I call my man Long John, because he's got a loong john.
2nd woman: Well I call my man Big Dick, 'cos he's got a biig dick.
They then turn to look at their friend ...
3rd woman: Well I call my man Drambuie.
1st woman: What? That's a first class liquor isn't it?
3rd woman: That's right honey.
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Old west... A bar... All of a sudden, the door opens with a kick, and
a cowboy in black enters... Black hat, black foulard, black shirt,
black trousers, black boots, black gloves, black belt, and a black
pair of guns...
Everyone looks at him with fearful eyes. He approaches the barman, and
asks:
"Do you have a bucket?"
Barman runs inside, finds a wooden bucket, comes back. The cowboy in
black lookes to the bucket, and orders:
"Now, bring me three bottles of whisky."
Seconds later:
"Pour them into the bucket."
And, then:
"And now, bring this to my horse outside."
The frightened and surprised barman does what the cowboy in black
tells.
He finds a horse, black as night, tied in front of the bar, completely
in black harness. It drinks all the whisky at once.
Then the barman returns back inside the bar. The cowboy very carefully
looks into the bucket, sees that nothing is left, and asks:
"What do I owe for this?"
Barman, while calculating the price, asks:
"Won't you drink anything?"
The cowboy in black replies:
"No. I don't drink and drive."
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Once upon a time there was a stork family - papa stock, mama stork and
baby stork. One evening papa stork didn't show up for dinner. Mama stork and
baby stork left the food out for him but he didn't come home at all that night.
When papa stork finally did come home the next day, baby stork asked "Papa
stork, where were you last night?"
"Out making a young couple very happy," replied papa stork.
Several weeks later, mama stork was late making dinner. Baby stork
and papa stork waited a while, and then gave up and ordered pizza. Mama stork
didn't come home until late the next morning. When mama stork did come in,
baby stork asked "Mama stork, where were you last night?"
"Out making a young couple very happy," replied mama stork.
Later in the fall, baby stork was late for dinner. Papa stork and mama
stork were worried. Their anxiety increased when baby stork still wasn't home
by sunset. They both waited up late for baby stork but he didn't come in
until early in the morning. His feathers were rumpled and unkempt. Papa
stork barked, "Where the hell were you baby stork?" as his tired son dragged
himself over the threshold.
"Out scaring the shit out of college students," replied baby stork.
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Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 % of her intelligence?
A: A widow.
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Henry Cate VII
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(ucbvax!xerox.com!cate7.osbu_east) OR (cate7.o...@Xerox.Com)
To clear the record, the postings by cate3 are not ours.
We don't know whose they are. They appear to be someone's idea of a joke.
(Our Model 3 has been upgraded. Is this another Soviet clone?)