Internet Oracularities Digest #973
Tom Harrington
oracle-...@cs.indiana.edu wrote:
: } Anyway, all these coffee plants produce an awful lot of coffee beans.
: } 284 billion tons in 1997 in fact. And that doesn't include the weight
: } of the jars. These beans are shipped to a small village in Nepal where
: } they add 300 feet to the height of the Himalayas each year. Did you
: } realise that the Himalayas are almost entirely made out of coffee?
: } Underneath, Everest is an insignificant hillock.
OK, I retract my plan to move to the UK and retire on my income
as a state-sponsored "artist". I have abandoned my plan to become
a British Marcel Duchamp with a house-full of readymades. Instead,
I'm moving to the Himalayas, since they're apparently a coffee-
drinker's paradise on Earth. You want to reduce the Great Coffe
Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
and a good source of hot water.
Tom "mildly addicted, yes" Harrington
--
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This message was printed on all-new, 100% virgin electrons
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Blade-Runner
It was 14 Jan 1998 18:26:20 GMT. You remember? Course you do! Tom
Harrington <t...@shell.rmi.net> wrote some of this :
>You want to reduce the Great Coffee
>Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
>and a good source of hot water.
Just curious, is all merkin coffee as bad as the swill they serve in
McDonalds? (second only to Little Chef, a roadside restaurant chain
which you may be lucky enough to be spared)
OTOH Pizza Hut could do a decent cup if it were ever hot.
--
Geoff (Blade-Runner)
Put the cat out to reply via e-mail
http://www.geocities.com/NapaValley/2333
Go placidly amid the toys and waste (sign on kids' bedroom door) [me]
firewind
On Wed, 14 Jan 1998, Blade-Runner wrote:
> Tom Harrington <t...@shell.rmi.net> wrote some of this :
>
> >You want to reduce the Great Coffee
> >Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
> >and a good source of hot water.
>
> Just curious, is all merkin coffee as bad as the swill they serve in
> McDonalds?
No way. Circle-K (a convenience store chain) has some excellent brew,
for example.
--
In general, it is safe and legal to kill your children and their children.
-- POSIX Programmer's Manual
Ian Davis
Blade-Runner wrote:
> Just curious, is all merkin coffee as bad as the swill they serve in
> McDonalds?
I'll refrain from the obvious comment, and just point out that I do miss
Starbucks now it's not around the corner.
No, I can't help myself. Clearly the problem lies with the filter
you're using!
Ian.
Sanford M. Manley
firewind wrote:
>
> On Wed, 14 Jan 1998, Blade-Runner wrote:
>
> > Tom Harrington <t...@shell.rmi.net> wrote some of this :
> >
> > >You want to reduce the Great Coffee
> > >Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
> > >and a good source of hot water.
> >
> > McDonalds?
>
> for example.
And way down south, we have Circle-KKK, they serve hot-cross buns
with their coffee...flaming!
--
Sanford M. Manley manl...@bellsouth.net
Manley Family Homepage at: http://www.afn.org/~afn39579/index.html
Cyberbury EZINE new at: http://www.afn.org/~afn39579/cyber.html
BIG Bookmarks File http://www.afn.org/~afn39579/bigindex.html
Vasilisha
I've noticed a trend:
"Is all 'merkin beer as bad as Budweiser?"
"Is all 'merkin coffee as bad as McDonalds?"
"Is all 'merkin music as bad as Hanson?"
etc. etc. etc.
For all you non-'merkins: Most 'merkins are idiots, just like the residents of
your country. See, most people are idiots. We just have idiots with a higher
average income than you do, so they can afford to be better cretins.
Yes, Budweiser is the most popular beer in America. But we also brew Sierra
Nevada, Redhook, and Pete's Wicked Ale. I'd put any of our micro-brews up
against the best Europe has to offer. (Except Chosendonk Monk's Brown Ale,
which, of course, is nectar.)
Yes, many 'merkins are happy with crappy coffee. But many of us drink
Starbuck's, Seattle's Best, or even (like me) have our coffee imported from
Lebanon. I drink Cafe Najjar, Turkish ground. I also import orange blossom
water from Lebanon to add to my Turkish coffee.
Naturally, many 'merkins have absolutely no taste in music. However, we
INNOVATED blues, jazz and rock 'n roll.
You Ozzies and Euros think Angus McPresley, Jellyroll Gruber, or Muddy Windsor
started things? C'mon.
May I also remind you non-'merkins that the rest of the world gave us the Spice
Girls, Abba, Der Kommissar, et cetera?
Vasilisha
Whose Turkish coffee, is, drop for drop, more stimulating than cocaine.
Robyn Donnell
Blade-Runner (blac...@thecatgeocities.com) wrote:
: It was 14 Jan 1998 18:26:20 GMT. You remember? Course you do! Tom
: Harrington <t...@shell.rmi.net> wrote some of this :
: >You want to reduce the Great Coffee
: >Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
: >and a good source of hot water.
: Just curious, is all merkin coffee as bad as the swill they serve in
: McDonalds? (second only to Little Chef, a roadside restaurant chain
: which you may be lucky enough to be spared)
Oh god no! I would die if it was all that bad.
Personally, I like Green Mountain Coffee Roasters, although most of their
flavored stuff is pretty horrendous.
But really, referring to McDonald's coffee as swill is sort of an
understatement.
Lorelei
--
------------------------------------------------------------------
r. lorelei donnell
lor...@spike.wellesley.edu lor...@maine.rr.com
"how come even in my fantasies, everyone's a jerk?" (daria)
------------------------------------------------------------------
http://wonderhead.com/lorelei
tc3...@glaxowellcome.com
In article <34bf40ec...@news.virgin.net>,
blac...@thecatgeocities.com wrote:
>
> It was 14 Jan 1998 18:26:20 GMT. You remember? Course you do! Tom
> Harrington <t...@shell.rmi.net> wrote some of this :
>
> >You want to reduce the Great Coffee
> >Mountain? Just let me at it with my bean-grinder, a press-pot,
> >and a good source of hot water.
>
> Just curious, is all merkin coffee as bad as the swill they serve in
> McDonalds? (second only to Little Chef, a roadside restaurant chain
> which you may be lucky enough to be spared)
>
>
We have a shop here called "Cupa Joe's" which makes a good cup. They
even make all the froo-froo coffee drinks. Much better than Starbuck's;
I still can't believe I paid $1.20 for that swill. Of course, the best
thing about Cupa is that they are the only coffee shop in Raleigh to have
a smoking section. Coffee with no cigarette? That's Un-american!
Tim Chew, who has had only three cups today.
--
Timothy W. Chew - tc3...@glaxowellcome.com
Tim "Blind Man" Chew
"Everyone knows if you masticate you'll go blind" - Geoff (Blade-Runner)
My opinions, mine. All mine! Not Glaxo Wellcome's
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Richard Wilson
In article <19980115131...@ladder01.news.aol.com>
vasi...@aol.com "Vasilisha" writes:
> I've noticed a trend:
>
> "Is all 'merkin beer as bad as Budweiser?"
>
> "Is all 'merkin coffee as bad as McDonalds?"
>
> "Is all 'merkin music as bad as Hanson?"
>
> etc. etc. etc.
>
> [snip]
>
> May I also remind you non-'merkins that the rest of the world gave us the
> Spice Girls, Abba, Der Kommissar, et cetera?
I'm willing to help even things up a bit:
"All Brits produce TV shows like Blackadder but watch Australian soaps"
"All Brits could write like Shakespeare but read Jeffrey Archer"
"All Brits are in love with Princess Diana and Margaret Thatcher but
ended up with Prince Charles and Tony Blair"
"All Welshmen got this thing about sheep"
Nah, it's no good. There's just no satisfaction to be gained from
insulting third-rate powers. Stop trying to spoil our fun and take
your stereotyping like a man, dammit. And BTW, are all 'merkins
Jim Carrey fans?
-Richard Wilson-*----*-----*---*-----*-ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*---*----*--*------*-----Cymru am byth is what I say, boy. Baa!--
tc3...@glaxowellcome.com
In article <19980115131...@ladder01.news.aol.com>,
vasi...@aol.com (Vasilisha) wrote:
>
>
> I've noticed a trend:
>
> "Is all 'merkin beer as bad as Budweiser?"
>
> "Is all 'merkin coffee as bad as McDonalds?"
>
> "Is all 'merkin music as bad as Hanson?"
>
> etc. etc. etc.
>
> your country. See, most people are idiots. We just have idiots with a higher
> average income than you do, so they can afford to be better cretins.
>
<Rantings about beer, coffee, and music snipped>
Hey man, chill.
BTW, are all 'merkin cigarettes as bad Camel?
Tim Chew, who's down to five packs of duty free Silk Cut.
Jim Menard
Ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson) writes:
> Nah, it's no good. There's just no satisfaction to be gained from
> insulting third-rate powers. Stop trying to spoil our fun and take
> your stereotyping like a man, dammit. And BTW, are all 'merkins
> Jim Carrey fans?
Yes. It's in our Constitution.
You owe the Oracle a merkin.
Jim
--
Jim Menard <mailto:jme...@ctp.com> <http://www.ctp.com/>
Cambridge Technology Partners <(404) 504-2968> <http://www.io.com/~jmenar/>
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a Perl
script." -- Programming Perl, 2nd edition
Robyn Donnell
Blade-Runner (blac...@thecatgeocities.com) wrote:
: It was Thu, 15 Jan 1998 08:02:01 -0600. You remember? Course you do!
: tc3...@glaxowellcome.com wrote some of this :
: >We have a shop here called "Cupa Joe's" which makes a good cup. They
: >even make all the froo-froo coffee drinks. Much better than Starbuck's;
: >I still can't believe I paid $1.20 for that swill.
: Can't you get a gallon of petrol for less than that over there? (sorry
: guys 'gas' BTW if you call petrol, gas, what do you call, er, gas?)
Well, depends on where you live, and what grade. Here (in Portland, Maine)
regular unleaded is currently around $1.11/gallon, and super unleaded is
around $1.35/gallon.
And we tend to call gas gas too.
: Aksherly, the point of all this was that I was trying to ascertain if
: we all agreed on what constituted a good cup of coffee. Let's make
: it simple, what's the leading brand of instant coffee in America?
: --
Instant coffee??? INSTANT COFFEE??? Eeeeeewwwww that is gross.
But I think the leading brand of INSTANT is probably Folger's.
firewind
On Fri, 16 Jan 1998, Blade-Runner wrote:
> Aksherly, the point of all this was that I was trying to ascertain if
> we all agreed on what constituted a good cup of coffee. Let's make
> it simple, what's the leading brand of instant coffee in America?
Real Americans don't drink that communist instant coffee crap.
Blade-Runner
It was Thu, 15 Jan 1998 08:02:01 -0600. You remember? Course you do!
tc3...@glaxowellcome.com wrote some of this :
>We have a shop here called "Cupa Joe's" which makes a good cup. They
>even make all the froo-froo coffee drinks. Much better than Starbuck's;
>I still can't believe I paid $1.20 for that swill.
Can't you get a gallon of petrol for less than that over there? (sorry
guys 'gas' BTW if you call petrol, gas, what do you call, er, gas?)
Aksherly, the point of all this was that I was trying to ascertain if
we all agreed on what constituted a good cup of coffee. Let's make
it simple, what's the leading brand of instant coffee in America?
Otis Viles
On Thu, 15 Jan 1998 08:02:01 -0600, tc3...@glaxowellcome.com wrote:
>We have a shop here called "Cupa Joe's" which makes a good cup. They
>even make all the froo-froo coffee drinks. Much better than Starbuck's;
>thing about Cupa is that they are the only coffee shop in Raleigh to have
>a smoking section. Coffee with no cigarette? That's Un-american!
I've found that cream lends a much better flavour to coffee than
cigarettes. The paper just falls apart in the coffee and you have to
strain the tobacco through your teeth. And don't even get me started
on the filter tips.
Otis.
| We used to hate people, now we just make fun | Public PGP 5.0 Key at |
| of them. It's more effective that way. KMFDM | http://ic.net/~cierhart/ |
tc3...@glaxowellcome.com
In article <34c187f3...@news.virgin.net>,
blac...@thecatgeocities.com wrote:
> Can't you get a gallon of petrol for less than that over there? (sorry
> guys 'gas' BTW if you call petrol, gas, what do you call, er, gas?)
>
Air
> Aksherly, the point of all this was that I was trying to ascertain if
> we all agreed on what constituted a good cup of coffee. Let's make
> it simple, what's the leading brand of instant coffee in America?
Instant? Ack! Gulp. NO! It's the Anti-coffee!
Eli the Bearded
Otis Viles <cier...@ic.net> wrote:
> tc3...@glaxowellcome.com wrote:
> >We have a shop here called "Cupa Joe's" which makes a good cup. They
"Culpa Joe's"? Joe's fault coffee?
> >even make all the froo-froo coffee drinks. Much better than Starbuck's;
> >I still can't believe I paid $1.20 for that swill. Of course, the best
> >thing about Cupa is that they are the only coffee shop in Raleigh to have
> >a smoking section. Coffee with no cigarette? That's Un-american!
Guess that explains California's preoccupation with harassing smokers.
> I've found that cream lends a much better flavour to coffee than
Ugh. Diary products and sweeetners have no part being near coffee.
> cigarettes. The paper just falls apart in the coffee and you have to
> strain the tobacco through your teeth. And don't even get me started
> on the filter tips.
The trick is to let the *smoke* mix with the coffee, not the rest of it.
A good flavored cigarette such as a Djarum (clove) is better than having
the coffee part flavored.
> Otis.
Say, are you the guy reponsible for that lousy elevator we have?
> | We used to hate people, now we just make fun | Public PGP 5.0 Key at |
> | of them. It's more effective that way. KMFDM | http://ic.net/~cierhart/ |
That one statement speaks volumes about the fear of self-determination
and individualism in America.
Elijah
------
"ic.net"? is that pronounced "ick-net"?
Tom Harrington
In rec.humor.oracle.d Eli the Bearded <*@qz.to> wrote:
: Otis Viles <cier...@ic.net> wrote:
:> I've found that cream lends a much better flavour to coffee than
: Ugh. Diary products and sweeetners have no part being near coffee.
No kidding. I used to use diary products in my coffee. But I ran
into the same kind of problems that Otis had with cigarettes and
coffee, only worse; it's difficult to drink coffee with pieces of
paper in it, not to mention the dissolving ink, the glue from the
binding, and the little metal keys. Plus, of course, the people coming
after you for stealing their diaries. It was basically impossible to
drink unless you let it sit long enough for the paper to start breaking
down, rendering it mushy enough to swallow along with the coffee.
But by then the coffee was cold. I tried shredding the paper first,
and this was actually an improvement. But it was still dreadful when
compared to black coffee, or even coffee with dairy products, or
even instant coffee.
:> cigarettes. The paper just falls apart in the coffee and you have to
:> strain the tobacco through your teeth. And don't even get me started
:> on the filter tips.
: The trick is to let the *smoke* mix with the coffee, not the rest of it.
So, Eli, what you're saying here is that you prefer to smoke with
the aid of a coffee-filled bong? Fill it up with coffee, then load
it with tobacco and light up. When the tobacco's gone, the coffee's
had all of the smoke bubbled through it, which is about as close to
mixing the smoke and coffee as you're likely to get. Somehow this
doesn't sound appealing, but maybe I need to try it before writing
it off.
Richard Wilson
In article <ykon2gx...@luna.ctp.com>
jme...@luna.ctp.com "Jim Menard" writes:
> You owe the Oracle a merkin.
Does Lisa know about his syphilis?
-Richard Wilson-*----*-----*---*-----*-ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk-
--*---*----*--*------*-----*-Re vera, linguam Latinam vix cognovi--
Otis Viles
>
>Say, are you the guy reponsible for that lousy elevator we have?
I wish I were ...
>> | We used to hate people, now we just make fun | Public PGP 5.0 Key at |
>> | of them. It's more effective that way. KMFDM | http://ic.net/~cierhart/ |
>
>That one statement speaks volumes about the fear of self-determination
>and individualism in America.
Yes it does. Too bad it came from a mostly German industrial group. :)
>Elijah
>------
>"ic.net"? is that pronounced "ick-net"?
No, more like, "I see" as in "I see Eli the Bearded has his own
fangroup."
Otis.
Blade-Runner
It was Fri, 16 Jan 1998 06:41:42 -0600. You remember? Course you do!
tc3...@glaxowellcome.com wrote some of this :
>> Aksherly, the point of all this was that I was trying to ascertain if
>> we all agreed on what constituted a good cup of coffee. Let's make
>> it simple, what's the leading brand of instant coffee in America?
>
>Instant? Ack! Gulp. NO! It's the Anti-coffee!
Oh bugger, I knew I'd get into hot water for asking that. :)
So it's a subject y'all take quite seriously then?
Robin Harrison
Jim Menard <jme...@luna.ctp.com> wrote:
>Ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson) writes:
>
>
>> Nah, it's no good. There's just no satisfaction to be gained from
>> insulting third-rate powers. Stop trying to spoil our fun and take
>> your stereotyping like a man, dammit. And BTW, are all 'merkins
>> Jim Carrey fans?
>
>Yes. It's in our Constitution.
>
>You owe the Oracle a merkin.
Yuck! Noone eats merkins. People just get their burger, open it up and
throw the Merkins at the ceiling, to which they stick. Then the burger is
eaten.
Mmmmmmm. Burger.
Robin does victory dance ala Black boxer @ the LA Olympics.
--
adios Robin Harrison <*> Merlin Corey
Xander: "We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting!"
Willow: "It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!"
< http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~merlinc > The Courts of Chaos
David McAuliffe
>Yuck! Noone eats merkins. People just get their burger, open it up and
>throw the Merkins at the ceiling, to which they stick. Then the burger is
>eaten.
>
>Mmmmmmm. Burger.
>
>Robin does victory dance ala Black boxer @ the LA Olympics.
You put merkins on your burgers? Like, doesn't it get caught in your
teeth or something?
I'd always wondered *why* anyone would actually have a merkin, and
more to the point who was the first person to actually want or use a
merkin. Whose idea was it anyway?
Pity Orrie's having a rest... I can feel a tellme coming on here...
(If that doesn't get Robin running for the dictionary, nothing will!)
(BTW it's Australia Day Up Here. Orrie's probably out on a yacht on
Sydney Harbour enjoying the festivities with a nice chilled glass of
chardonnay or something...
Yes, I did say Up Here. Up is only a matter of perspective. Who's to
say North is Up? ;)
Ciao!
David.
--
David McAuliffe, | My views are not shared
Acronym Computing Development | by my employer-
davi...@acronym.com.au | even if it is me...
-------------------------------------------------------
"Sex is like cards. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
-------------------------------------------------------
Vasilisha
>(BTW it's Australia Day Up Here. Orrie's probably out on a yacht on
>Sydney Harbour enjoying the festivities with a nice chilled glass of
>chardonnay or something...
What exactly do Australians celebrate on Australia Day, I wonder?
10) Melanoma
9) 4,000 surfers trying to catch a single wave
8) Kissing poisonous animals
7) Two words: toad roadkill
6) mosquitoes
5) Culture: 11 hours of Yahoo Serious movies
4) Sport: Reliving the glory of a single sailing race 10 years ago
3) Beating Kiwis senseless in football stadiums
2) Insipid re-runs of "Hey, Hey, Saturday Night"
and the number one thing Australians celebrate on Australia Day:
1) Post celebration hangovers
Vasilisha
Richard Wilson
In article <34ccb438...@news.magna.com.au>
davi...@acronym.com.au "David McAuliffe" writes:
> I'd always wondered *why* anyone would actually have a merkin, and
> more to the point who was the first person to actually want or use a
> merkin. Whose idea was it anyway?
I serendipitously came across the answer to this some months ago, and
have promptly forgotten it. It has to do with syphilis. Either to
disguise symptoms, or the side effects of treatment, I guess. Hence
my concern for Lisa when someone quoth: "You owe the Oracle a merkin"
a little while back.
David McAuliffe
On 26 Jan 1998 13:40:38 GMT, vasi...@aol.com (Vasilisha) wrote:
>What exactly do Australians celebrate on Australia Day, I wonder?
>
>10) Melanoma
>9) 4,000 surfers trying to catch a single wave
>8) Kissing poisonous animals
>7) Two words: toad roadkill
>6) mosquitoes
>5) Culture: 11 hours of Yahoo Serious movies
>4) Sport: Reliving the glory of a single sailing race 10 years ago
>3) Beating Kiwis senseless in football stadiums
>2) Insipid re-runs of "Hey, Hey, Saturday Night"
>
>and the number one thing Australians celebrate on Australia Day:
>
>1) Post celebration hangovers
No, didn't celebrate any of these- but it does give me some ideas for
what to do today...
Mmmm... 11 hours of Yahoo Serious movies...
David McAuliffe
>I serendipitously came across the answer to this some months ago, and
>have promptly forgotten it. It has to do with syphilis. Either to
>disguise symptoms, or the side effects of treatment, I guess. Hence
>my concern for Lisa when someone quoth: "You owe the Oracle a merkin"
>a little while back.
Well, that does it. I'm *definitely* not having one on my burger...
David Griffith
Robin Harrison (rah...@student.monash.edu.au) wrote:
: Jim Menard <jme...@luna.ctp.com> wrote:
: >Ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk (Richard Wilson) writes:
: >
: >
: >> Nah, it's no good. There's just no satisfaction to be gained from
: >> insulting third-rate powers. Stop trying to spoil our fun and take
: >> your stereotyping like a man, dammit. And BTW, are all 'merkins
: >> Jim Carrey fans?
: >
: >Yes. It's in our Constitution.
: >
: >You owe the Oracle a merkin.
: Yuck! Noone eats merkins. People just get their burger, open it up and
: throw the Merkins at the ceiling, to which they stick. Then the burger is
: eaten.
: Mmmmmmm. Burger.
: Robin does victory dance ala Black boxer @ the LA Olympics.
Maybe "merkin" is actually a mispelling of "jerkin" which is, as I recall,
a type of short-sleeved shirt which is laced up at the neck. I would be
rather peeved to find shirts in my burgers.
--
David Griffith
dgr...@ultrix6.cs.csubak.edu
Otis Viles
>I serendipitously came across the answer to this some months ago, and
>have promptly forgotten it. It has to do with syphilis. Either to
>disguise symptoms, or the side effects of treatment, I guess. Hence
>my concern for Lisa when someone quoth: "You owe the Oracle a merkin"
>a little while back.
I believe there are some diseases (diptheria?) which cause whole-body
hair loss also, so ...
Robyn Donnell
David Griffith (dgr...@ultrix6.cs.csubak.edu) wrote:
: : Mmmmmmm. Burger.
Well, by that logic, it could be a misspelling of "gherkin", which is a
pickle, which I guess wouldn't be so bad on your burger. Except I hate
gherkins and I don't eat red meat.
Lorelei
(yes, I know my posts are pointless. What's your point?)
David Griffith
Robyn Donnell (lor...@spike.wellesley.edu) wrote:
: David Griffith (dgr...@ultrix6.cs.csubak.edu) wrote:
: : Robin Harrison (rah...@student.monash.edu.au) wrote:
: : : Jim Menard <jme...@luna.ctp.com> wrote:
: : : >You owe the Oracle a merkin.
: : : Yuck! Noone eats merkins. People just get their burger, open it up and
: : : throw the Merkins at the ceiling, to which they stick. Then the burger is
: : : eaten.
: : : Mmmmmmm. Burger.
: : : Robin does victory dance ala Black boxer @ the LA Olympics.
: : Maybe "merkin" is actually a mispelling of "jerkin" which is, as I recall,
: : a type of short-sleeved shirt which is laced up at the neck. I would be
: : rather peeved to find shirts in my burgers.
: Well, by that logic, it could be a misspelling of "gherkin", which is a
: pickle, which I guess wouldn't be so bad on your burger. Except I hate
: gherkins and I don't eat red meat.
I don't like pickles, so I still wouldn't want to find a *erkin in my
burger.
--
David Griffith
dgr...@ultrix6.cs.csubak.edu