It's.....
THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
=============================
Young Man,
is your boss a big jerk?
I said young man,
are you stressed out from work?
You should know that
there's a place you can shirk
There's no need to be productive!
We don't
want your boring reports
We're not even
interested in sports
We're on UseNet
with its flames and retorts
We ain't got one life between us!
<trumpets>
<chorus:>
We now invite you to R.H.O.D!
We long to spite you in R.H.O.D!
You'll be stuck here for weeks
among hackers and phreaks
You can hang out with all us geeks!
It's fun to lurk in the R.H.O.D!
We run berserk in the R.H.O.D!
You can have a good time,
if you know how to rhyme.
We'll poke fun at your every line!
</chorus>
Newbie?
You should look for the FAQ
Cannot find it?
Well you're all out of luck.
If you hang here,
you'll be sure to get stuck
Pretty soon you'll be addicted.
You should
learn the rules of the News
And then lurk here,
and assemble some clues
Ask a question
and you'll risk our abuse
We won't even get convicted!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
We want to post you in R.H.O.D!
TimChew will roast you in R.H.O.D!
If you taste chicken-ish,
you will be a good dish
to Paul L. Kelly's Fighting Fish.
We long to meet you in R.H.O.D!
We're gonna eat you in R.H.O.D!
If you don't have a clue,
we'll be preying on you...
You'll make excellent barbecue!
</chorus>
If you
get profoundly confused
by the in-jokes
which we have much abused,
It's a state to
which you'll have to get used
and we WILL not stay on topic!
Warning!
We're all twisted and sick
If you post here,
there's no nit we won't pick
We're relentless,
and we don't miss a trick
We will chew your prose to pieces!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
You have been booked into R.H.O.D!
You'll soon be hooked on the R.H.O.D!
Kiss your real life goodbye,
as you post and reply
into threads that refuse to die!
You'll have a ball in the R.H.O.D!
as do we all in the R.H.O.D!
You will rupture your spleen,
laughing 'til you turn green,
reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
</chorus>
Young Man,
we've been waiting for you
just to freak you
with the sick things we do.
We're immoral
like the monkeys at Zoo.
We should all have been arrested.
Show us
what you've got to conceal,
Come on, let us
cop a virtual feel!
I assure you,
if our antics were real,
we would all need to get tested!
<trumpets>
<chorus>
Come show your verve at the R.H.O.D!
Come be a perve at the R.H.O.D!
You'll get tied by KaCee,
duct-taped to DMP...
Pray to God you won't need to pee!
It's fun to be at the R.H.O.D!
You cannot flee from the R.H.O.D!
It's a dangerous hive,
you can struggle and strive
but you'll never escape alive.....
===================================================
Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
People song about. My apologies in that case.
Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
But feel free to write yourselves and each other in! After all,
everything gets chopped up, augmented and twisted around in here.
That's why I love this froup!
<semi-serious>
If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
As is obvious, I've been rather careless with the rhyming constructs;
descending to 'assonance' in some cases and completely skipped the
inter-verse tie-ups in others. But if memory serves me right, VP
weren't too picky about that, either.
</semi-serious>
I had great fun with this, though! The hardest part was actually to
stop adding to it! You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
*hugs*
------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.
I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
exclamation marks for October.
--
.._o Matthew Thomas, who prefers semicolons
..://\/ Visit my site: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/
..:_/\ `You see, Siamese fighting fish don't /have/ frontal lobes.'
..:/ -- New Scientist
>
>I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
>exclamation marks for October.
>
Rats[1]. How am I supposed to distribute my "MAKE MONEY FAST[2][3][4]"
mail to all those lucky people in
alt.gullible.dorks.with.too.much.cash.and.no.real.life ?
Oh well. Nobody said anything about '1' signs, so I guess I could...
HEY WAIT A MINNIT1 ARE YOU FLAMNG ME?1?1 PHUK Y00011111
Ahh! Just like old times on my Commodore 64. How I miss Bit.net! The
old 'Amiga vs. Atari' flame wars! Those were the days *sigh*
//Kenneth "B1FF L1V3S" Sörling
-------
[1] Due to an unexpected police action we are currently short of
exclamations marks. Come back in November for your FREE marks. Just
flash this voucher and we'll be glad to serve you. We are sorry for
the inconvenience.
[2] See [1]
[3] Same as [2]
[3] You're a bit slow in grasping the concept here...
Now I've got that song stuck in my head, yff. Very good effort,
but if I go postal at work today, please explain to the authorities
that it was a VP filk that drove me to it.
>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
Always capitalize the word english.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.
Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>
>Always capitalize the word english.
Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?
Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
spooky coincidence?
> Come on, let us
> cop a virtual feel!
Keep dreamin'.
> You'll get tied by KaCee,
> duct-taped to DMP...
> Pray to God you won't need to pee!
*snicker*
> Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
> hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
> People song about. My apologies in that case.
I've never seen it before, but I haven't been here all that long. Very
cute, Kenneth.
> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
Oooo baby.
> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
> *hugs*
Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA. Trust No One
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
>
>Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
>> You will rupture your spleen,
>[snip]
>> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
>
>Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
>spooky coincidence?
>
*With all the intelligent looks of Manuel*
Que?
Archived? Where do I find those? In that DejayNyoo thing?
And how far back do I have to go to find out what you're on about?
<whip>
>> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
>
>Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
>Oooo baby.
Don't get me all hot here. The duct-tape is pretty tightly strapped,
and there's no room for... owww... too late...
>> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
>> *hugs*
>
>Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.
>
No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
marks. *sob*
>I still dream about that day (Wed, 21 Oct 1998 13:06:53 GMT) when that
>raunchy little sex-pot bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly)
>snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
>breath:
>
>>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>>
>>Always capitalize the word english.
>
>Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?
SFX: "squick squick squick"
Yup.
--
Paul L. Kelly, whose world famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.
bright...@mindspring.com
Put periods in-between the words to send me e-mail. Or if you know
my real address you can use that.
This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
-b
><bunch of crap snipped>
>
>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Please read the FAQ.
Massage: <362ea084...@news.ericsson.se>
Froom: kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se (Kenneth Sörling)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT
______________________________:
> And now, for something completely different.
>
> It's.....
>
> THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
> =============================
<snip totally grinworthy disco-funk filk>
> <semi-serious>
Oh-oh!
> If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
Your English, like that of most Scandinavians I've ever encountered,
is better than that of the majority of native English-speaking
people[0]. Stop worrying.
> </semi-serious>
S'better.
[0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null
How do you know it's off-topic?
How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
humans use mirrors creatively?
-b
some sick sixth sense I developed after a group of evil usenetters burned
the NNTP RFC into my back with boiling oil.
-b
Munchkin> <bunch of crap snipped> This is kinda off topic but why
Munchkin> dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Munchkin> -b
YOUR SO STUPID HAHAHA YOU DIDNNT EVEN NOTICE YOURE OWN POST IS OFF
TOPIC YOU IDIOT AHAHA!!!!*!!!!!!11!!
--
*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Carla M. Levy ~ http://hussle.harvard.edu/~clevy ~ Harvard Physics
"She is a very, very smart person, and she doesn't suffer fools gladly."
--JMS on NAM
oops
s/with/when/
-b
I think you could have made that more WebTV/NetCom-ish by utilizing "leet
speek" and "wAckY caPs":
y0|_|r s0 s+00p1d, d00d, H@H@H@, 3w3 d1dd/\/t eVeN NOtiC3 y0uR3 0w/\/ p0st
1s 0ff t0PiC, y0u 1d10+ HAHAHA, d00d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KICK ASS!!!!! 1f
y0u \/\/@n+ th3 d0pe 0-day rh0d sh1zn1t c|_|m t00 #warez-rh0d, d00d.
-b
You're a rotten bastard, you know that?
Before we're nice to you, are you female?
Who told you that Merkins speak English?
We speak American. Historically, American is derived from English,
but it's not really accurate to call them the same language. You
can't make valid statements about the quality of our English, unless
you're talking to someone who has learned it as a second language.
It's certainly not our first.
BTW, who are the Micks?
>Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
We also think that the UK is in Eurpoe.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ----- t...@rmi.net ----- http://rainbow.rmi.net/~tph
"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"
>Has this sort of thing been done before?
This has never been done before.
>I'd be surprised if it
>hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
>People song about.
This has never been done before.
At least, not in a long time. I've been here since early '94 sometime
and I've never seen it before.
>My apologies in that case.
>Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
*sniff*
><semi-serious>
>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
"FAQ" to.
Tom "FAQ off" Harrington
Sick bastard.
Yeah. It's great. You oughta try it sometime.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.
Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
>
>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>
>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>
>
>Sick bastard.
>
Oh, let's be nice to him!
Information on obtaining the FAQ can be found in the FAQ.
: This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
: siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
: humans use mirrors creatively?
What color was the fishie?
No no no...*before* it slammed into the bowl.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies make shiva calls
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>: >
>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>: >>
>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>: >
>: >Sick bastard.
>:
>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>
>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>
>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"
Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.
--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
Even when playing Billiards?
--
charles a. lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
brooklyn, new york, usa | stopped to pick up his brass i just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html
And at that moment, Munchkin was enlightened.
Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
Do you watch the news a lot?
Or are you a newspaper reading type?
Hmmmm... that sounds interesting. Do you have the RFC for BOTP[1] handy?
Corran
(or maybe it's a subset of FTP[2])
[1] Boiling Oil Transmission Protocol
[2] Flame Transmission Protocol
>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>>
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>
>>Sick bastard.
>>
>
>Oh, let's be nice to him!
I say we cut 'is head off.
--
HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
"Despite convincing proof that the practice actually prevents cancer,
smoking near jet fuel is not advisable." -- Carmen J. Giant
The Annals of Improbable Research. (Vol. 4 No.5)
Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.
>dma...@sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) attempted to infuriate me by
>saying:
>
>>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
>>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>: >
>>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>: >>
>>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>: >
>>: >Sick bastard.
>>:
>>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>>
>>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>>
>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
>
>Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"
Nevermind.
>--> BTW, who are the Micks?
>
>Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'
Sorry, but I am not Irish, despite what Ian says.
Tim "not that there's anything wrong with that" Chew
Massage: <70l7ge$fco$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>
Froom: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it>
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 14:01:28 -0400
______________________________:
> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
Well, what do you expect from a bewigged former glamour bookcase?
--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null
Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
______________________________:
> > Always capitalize the word english.
> Even when playing Billiards?
The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
is it "top"? Or "screwing")
>
> Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
> rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
> "FAQ" to.
>
> Tom "FAQ off" Harrington
FAQU,UFAQINFAQ.
regards,
Barry
>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
>L. Kelly) wrote:
>
>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>
>>>
>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>>
>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>>
>>>
>>>Sick bastard.
>>>
>>
>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
>
>I say we cut 'is head off.
Let's have tea.
>Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:
>
>Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
>Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
>On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
>______________________________:
>
>> > Always capitalize the word english.
>
>> Even when playing Billiards?
>
>The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
>is it "top"? Or "screwing")
Nudge nudge wink wink knowhatamean knowhatamean?
So what's it like, eh?
>Tom Tom Harrington wrote:
Good one. Is this a meta-acronym?
Clearly, it's a spooky coincidence. I have a spleen thing. Well, a
gigantic fluid-filled cyst that I thought for two weeks might be cancer
until they found out that it was, in fact, a fluid-filled cyst. So I
found it odd that you'd make the reference, is all.
> No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
> marks. *sob*
SO kick him and take them back. Never let anyone stomp on you.
KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)...aka Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"One must forego the self to achieve total spiritual creaminess and
avoid the chewy chunks of degradation." - Ace Ventura
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
strike (strik) n. - an effort to increase egg production by strangling
the chicken.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
** Check out alt.pub.kacees **
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
Or a sexy nerdy guy? I prefer those, thoguh some females are tempting.
I have a shiny paperclip.
What's a Mick?
Are you sure? He/she is approaching your brSff tank with a mirror...
Kimberly Chapman, aka KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seen on a van for a construction company:
Guaranteed Satisfaction with every erection!
-------------------------------------------------------------
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm
ITYM "Squick bastard." HTH. HAND.
It's an Irish man/woman. You know, like in Patriot Games and the such.
They're all named Mick, you know! When they assume other names, it's
just to show off. Mickey Rourke had the courage to keep his name, but
then he had to blow it by pumping silicon into his cheeks. Pshah!
------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.
No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
you do with a stick, balls and holes....
And then we'll cut 'is head off.