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Kenneth Sörling

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
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And now, for something completely different.

It's.....

THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
=============================

Young Man,
is your boss a big jerk?
I said young man,
are you stressed out from work?
You should know that
there's a place you can shirk
There's no need to be productive!

We don't
want your boring reports
We're not even
interested in sports
We're on UseNet
with its flames and retorts
We ain't got one life between us!

<trumpets>

<chorus:>
We now invite you to R.H.O.D!
We long to spite you in R.H.O.D!
You'll be stuck here for weeks
among hackers and phreaks
You can hang out with all us geeks!

It's fun to lurk in the R.H.O.D!
We run berserk in the R.H.O.D!
You can have a good time,
if you know how to rhyme.
We'll poke fun at your every line!
</chorus>

Newbie?
You should look for the FAQ
Cannot find it?
Well you're all out of luck.
If you hang here,
you'll be sure to get stuck
Pretty soon you'll be addicted.

You should
learn the rules of the News
And then lurk here,
and assemble some clues
Ask a question
and you'll risk our abuse
We won't even get convicted!

<trumpets>

<chorus>
We want to post you in R.H.O.D!
TimChew will roast you in R.H.O.D!
If you taste chicken-ish,
you will be a good dish
to Paul L. Kelly's Fighting Fish.

We long to meet you in R.H.O.D!
We're gonna eat you in R.H.O.D!
If you don't have a clue,
we'll be preying on you...
You'll make excellent barbecue!
</chorus>

If you
get profoundly confused
by the in-jokes
which we have much abused,
It's a state to
which you'll have to get used
and we WILL not stay on topic!

Warning!
We're all twisted and sick
If you post here,
there's no nit we won't pick
We're relentless,
and we don't miss a trick
We will chew your prose to pieces!

<trumpets>

<chorus>
You have been booked into R.H.O.D!
You'll soon be hooked on the R.H.O.D!
Kiss your real life goodbye,
as you post and reply
into threads that refuse to die!

You'll have a ball in the R.H.O.D!
as do we all in the R.H.O.D!
You will rupture your spleen,
laughing 'til you turn green,
reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
</chorus>

Young Man,
we've been waiting for you
just to freak you
with the sick things we do.
We're immoral
like the monkeys at Zoo.
We should all have been arrested.

Show us
what you've got to conceal,
Come on, let us
cop a virtual feel!
I assure you,
if our antics were real,
we would all need to get tested!

<trumpets>

<chorus>
Come show your verve at the R.H.O.D!
Come be a perve at the R.H.O.D!
You'll get tied by KaCee,
duct-taped to DMP...
Pray to God you won't need to pee!

It's fun to be at the R.H.O.D!
You cannot flee from the R.H.O.D!
It's a dangerous hive,
you can struggle and strive
but you'll never escape alive.....


===================================================
Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
People song about. My apologies in that case.
Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)

But feel free to write yourselves and each other in! After all,
everything gets chopped up, augmented and twisted around in here.
That's why I love this froup!

<semi-serious>
If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
As is obvious, I've been rather careless with the rhyming constructs;
descending to 'assonance' in some cases and completely skipped the
inter-verse tie-ups in others. But if memory serves me right, VP
weren't too picky about that, either.
</semi-serious>

I had great fun with this, though! The hardest part was actually to
stop adding to it! You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
*hugs*

------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.

Matthew Thomas

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
"Kenneth Sörling" wrote:
>...

> I had great fun with this, though! The hardest part was actually to
> stop adding to it! You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
> *hugs*

I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
exclamation marks for October.

--
.._o Matthew Thomas, who prefers semicolons
..://\/ Visit my site: http://cantua.canterbury.ac.nz/~mpt26/
..:_/\ `You see, Siamese fighting fish don't /have/ frontal lobes.'
..:/ -- New Scientist

Kenneth Sörling

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
I still dream about that day (Wed, 21 Oct 1998 22:54:25 +1300) when
that raunchy little sex-pot Matthew Thomas <mp...@spamfree.land> snuck
quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:

>
>I hereby declare that Kenneth Sörling has used up his quota of
>exclamation marks for October.
>

Rats[1]. How am I supposed to distribute my "MAKE MONEY FAST[2][3][4]"
mail to all those lucky people in
alt.gullible.dorks.with.too.much.cash.and.no.real.life ?

Oh well. Nobody said anything about '1' signs, so I guess I could...
HEY WAIT A MINNIT1 ARE YOU FLAMNG ME?1?1 PHUK Y00011111

Ahh! Just like old times on my Commodore 64. How I miss Bit.net! The
old 'Amiga vs. Atari' flame wars! Those were the days *sigh*

//Kenneth "B1FF L1V3S" Sörling

-------
[1] Due to an unexpected police action we are currently short of
exclamations marks. Come back in November for your FREE marks. Just
flash this voucher and we'll be glad to serve you. We are sorry for
the inconvenience.
[2] See [1]
[3] Same as [2]
[3] You're a bit slow in grasping the concept here...

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se (Kenneth Sörling) attempted to
infuriate me by saying:

Now I've got that song stuck in my head, yff. Very good effort,
but if I go postal at work today, please explain to the authorities
that it was a VP filk that drove me to it.

>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.

Always capitalize the word english.
__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.

Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,
milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.

Kenneth Sörling

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
I still dream about that day (Wed, 21 Oct 1998 13:06:53 GMT) when that
raunchy little sex-pot bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly)

snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:

>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.


>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>
>Always capitalize the word english.

Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?

Kimberly Chapman

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
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Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
> You will rupture your spleen,
[snip]

> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.

Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
spooky coincidence?

> Come on, let us
> cop a virtual feel!

Keep dreamin'.

> You'll get tied by KaCee,
> duct-taped to DMP...
> Pray to God you won't need to pee!

*snicker*

> Has this sort of thing been done before? I'd be surprised if it
> hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
> People song about. My apologies in that case.

I've never seen it before, but I haven't been here all that long. Very
cute, Kenneth.

> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)

Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
Oooo baby.

> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
> *hugs*

Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA. Trust No One
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm


Kenneth Sörling

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
I still dream about that day (21 Oct 1998 13:01:29 GMT) when that
raunchy little sex-pot aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman)

snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
breath:

>


>Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
>> You will rupture your spleen,
>[snip]
>> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
>
>Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
>spooky coincidence?
>

*With all the intelligent looks of Manuel*
Que?
Archived? Where do I find those? In that DejayNyoo thing?
And how far back do I have to go to find out what you're on about?

<whip>


>> Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>> don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)
>
>Well I'm in there twice. Guess that means you have a thing for me, eh?
>Oooo baby.

Don't get me all hot here. The duct-tape is pretty tightly strapped,
and there's no room for... owww... too late...

>> Hope you enjoyed it too! Love you!
>> *hugs*
>
>Hooboy, that's gonna get you in trouble here.
>

No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
marks. *sob*

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se (Kenneth Sörling) attempted to infuriate me
by saying:

>I still dream about that day (Wed, 21 Oct 1998 13:06:53 GMT) when that
>raunchy little sex-pot bright...@mindspring.com (Paul L. Kelly)


>snuck quietly up to me in rec.humor.oracle.d, and whispered on a hot
>breath:
>

>>>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>>>English is, after all, not my native language. I don't even know when
>>>to captialize the word 'English' and when not to.
>>
>>Always capitalize the word english.
>
>Thanks. Waitaminnit. Are you screwing with my head?

SFX: "squick squick squick"

Yup.

--
Paul L. Kelly, whose world famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,


milligram for milligram, the fiercest creature on the planet.

bright...@mindspring.com
Put periods in-between the words to send me e-mail. Or if you know
my real address you can use that.

Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
<bunch of crap snipped>

This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?

-b

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
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"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

><bunch of crap snipped>
>
>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?

Please read the FAQ.

Malcolm Pack

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Also Sprach Kenneth Sörling:

Massage: <362ea084...@news.ericsson.se>
Froom: kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se (Kenneth Sörling)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT
______________________________:

> And now, for something completely different.
>
> It's.....
>
> THE VILLAGE PEOPLE R.H.O.D FAQ
> =============================

<snip totally grinworthy disco-funk filk>

> <semi-serious>

Oh-oh!

> If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.

Your English, like that of most Scandinavians I've ever encountered,
is better than that of the majority of native English-speaking
people[0]. Stop worrying.

> </semi-serious>

S'better.

[0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.

--
Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)
UCE > /dev/null

DMP

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

Munchkin wrote in message <70l7ge$fco$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>...

><bunch of crap snipped>
>
>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
>
>-b


How do you know it's off-topic?

Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Paul L. Kelly, while looking at
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
<362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
<snip>
>
>Please read the FAQ.
>


How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
humans use mirrors creatively?

-b


Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
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DMP, while chillin in da hood, wrote in message
<70l7vu$5...@news3.newsguy.com>...
<snip>

>How do you know it's off-topic?
>
>

some sick sixth sense I developed after a group of evil usenetters burned
the NNTP RFC into my back with boiling oil.

-b

Carla Miriam Levy

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

>>>>> "Munchkin" == Munchkin <sp...@sucks.it> writes:

Munchkin> <bunch of crap snipped> This is kinda off topic but why
Munchkin> dont you guys ever stay on topic here?

Munchkin> -b


YOUR SO STUPID HAHAHA YOU DIDNNT EVEN NOTICE YOURE OWN POST IS OFF
TOPIC YOU IDIOT AHAHA!!!!*!!!!!!11!!


--
*--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
Carla M. Levy ~ http://hussle.harvard.edu/~clevy ~ Harvard Physics
"She is a very, very smart person, and she doesn't suffer fools gladly."
--JMS on NAM

Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

<snip>

>siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
>humans use mirrors creatively?


oops
s/with/when/

-b

Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Carla Miriam Levy, after smoking crack, wrote in message ...
<snip>

>YOUR SO STUPID HAHAHA YOU DIDNNT EVEN NOTICE YOURE OWN POST IS OFF
>TOPIC YOU IDIOT AHAHA!!!!*!!!!!!11!!


I think you could have made that more WebTV/NetCom-ish by utilizing "leet
speek" and "wAckY caPs":

y0|_|r s0 s+00p1d, d00d, H@H@H@, 3w3 d1dd/\/t eVeN NOtiC3 y0uR3 0w/\/ p0st
1s 0ff t0PiC, y0u 1d10+ HAHAHA, d00d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KICK ASS!!!!! 1f
y0u \/\/@n+ th3 d0pe 0-day rh0d sh1zn1t c|_|m t00 #warez-rh0d, d00d.

-b


DMP

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362e272...@news.mindspring.com>...

>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>><bunch of crap snipped>
>>
>>This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?
>
>Please read the FAQ.


You're a rotten bastard, you know that?

DMP

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

Munchkin wrote in message <70leb6$gfh$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>...

>Paul L. Kelly, while looking at
>alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
><362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
><snip>
>>
>>Please read the FAQ.
>>
>
>
>How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
>obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
>old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a
>siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
>humans use mirrors creatively?


Before we're nice to you, are you female?

Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
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In article <70l9q2$g1d$6...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>, Malcolm Pack wrote:
>Also Sprach Kenneth Sörling:

>> If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.
>
>Your English, like that of most Scandinavians I've ever encountered,
>is better than that of the majority of native English-speaking
>people[0]. Stop worrying.
>
>> </semi-serious>
>
>S'better.
>
>[0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.

Who told you that Merkins speak English?

We speak American. Historically, American is derived from English,
but it's not really accurate to call them the same language. You
can't make valid statements about the quality of our English, unless
you're talking to someone who has learned it as a second language.
It's certainly not our first.

BTW, who are the Micks?

>Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)

We also think that the UK is in Eurpoe.

--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ----- t...@rmi.net ----- http://rainbow.rmi.net/~tph
"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"


Tom Tom Harrington

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
In article <362ea084...@news.ericsson.se>, Kenneth Sörling wrote:

>Has this sort of thing been done before?

This has never been done before.

>I'd be surprised if it
>hadn't; this froup's acronym is too good _not_ to make a Village
>People song about.

This has never been done before.

At least, not in a long time. I've been here since early '94 sometime
and I've never seen it before.

>My apologies in that case.

>Apologies also to those who didn't get included in the lyrics, but I
>don't know everybody well enough to slander you properly :-)

*sniff*

><semi-serious>


>If you have comments on my English, I'd welcome your picking my nits.

Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
"FAQ" to.

Tom "FAQ off" Harrington

Munchkin

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to

DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...

>
>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>

Sick bastard.

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
"DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

Yeah. It's great. You oughta try it sometime.


__
bright...@mindspring.com
Insert periods in-between the words to e-mail me.

Paul L. Kelly, whose world-famous bright red Siamese fighting fish is,

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

>


>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>
>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>
>
>Sick bastard.
>

Oh, let's be nice to him!

Daniel E. Macks

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Munchkin (sp...@sucks.it) said:
: Paul L. Kelly, while looking at

: alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.fish.siamese.bondage, wrote in message
: <362e272...@news.mindspring.com>
: >
: >Please read the FAQ.

:
: How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
: obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
: old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu?

Information on obtaining the FAQ can be found in the FAQ.

: This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a


: siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
: humans use mirrors creatively?

What color was the fishie?

No no no...*before* it slammed into the bowl.

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies make shiva calls

--
Daniel Macks
dma...@a.chem.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks


Daniel E. Macks

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:

: >
: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
: >>
: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
: >
: >Sick bastard.
:
: Oh, let's be nice to him!

And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?

dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here

Paul L. Kelly

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
dma...@sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) attempted to infuriate me by
saying:

>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:
>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>: >
>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>: >>
>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>: >
>: >Sick bastard.
>:
>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>
>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>
>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here

Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"

Charles A. Lieberman

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Listen to my story 'bout a person named Kenneth Sörling
Poor mountaineer, barely kept the fam'ly fed
Then one Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT was shootin' at som food
When up from the ground started bubblin:
> You loonies are a great source of inpiration!

Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.

--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html

Charles A. Lieberman

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Oct 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/21/98
to
Listen to my story 'bout a person named Paul L. Kelly
Poor mountaineer, barely kept the fam'ly fed
Then one Wed, 21 Oct 1998 13:06:53 GMT was shootin' at some foooood
When up from the ground started bubblin:
> Always capitalize the word english.

Even when playing Billiards?

--
charles a. lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
brooklyn, new york, usa | stopped to pick up his brass i just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html

Ian Davis

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Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Munchkin wrote:
> How am I supposed to read the FAQ unless its posted on some
> obscure-and-always-not-responding-or-giving-me-a-404 web site or a really
> old copy is on rtfm.mit.edu? This is kind of off topic, but you ever seen a

> siamese fighting fish kill itself by slamming into the glass bowl with
> humans use mirrors creatively?

And at that moment, Munchkin was enlightened.

ash...@my-dejanews.com

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Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
--> BTW, who are the Micks?

Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

Moogle

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Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Charles A. Lieberman wrote in message ...
>Listen to my story 'bout a person named Kenneth Sörling

>Poor mountaineer, barely kept the fam'ly fed
>Then one Wed, 21 Oct 1998 08:53:08 GMT was shootin' at som food
>When up from the ground started bubblin:
>> You loonies are a great source of inpiration!
>
>Funny, I'm only inspired by my own currency.


Do you watch the news a lot?
Or are you a newspaper reading type?

Corran Webster

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Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Hmmmm... that sounds interesting. Do you have the RFC for BOTP[1] handy?

Corran
(or maybe it's a subset of FTP[2])

[1] Boiling Oil Transmission Protocol
[2] Flame Transmission Protocol


Tim Chew

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
L. Kelly) wrote:

>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>>
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>
>>Sick bastard.
>>
>
>Oh, let's be nice to him!

I say we cut 'is head off.

--

HRH Prince Timothy T. W. Chew, Duke of North Hills
"Despite convincing proof that the practice actually prevents cancer,
smoking near jet fuel is not advisable." -- Carmen J. Giant

The Annals of Improbable Research. (Vol. 4 No.5)
Blow a raspberry to e-mail me.

Tim Chew

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:49:35 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
L. Kelly) wrote:

>dma...@sas.upenn.edu (Daniel E. Macks) attempted to infuriate me by
>saying:
>


>>Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) said:

>>: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:


>>: >
>>: >DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>: >>
>>: >>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>: >
>>: >Sick bastard.
>>:
>>: Oh, let's be nice to him!
>>

>>And just how do *you* know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
>>
>>dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies can't see a shlong from here
>

>Dork-brain. You were SUPPOSED to say, "I say we cut 'is 'ead off!"

Nevermind.

Tim Chew

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Thu, 22 Oct 1998 00:49:15 GMT, ash...@my-dejanews.com wrote:

>--> BTW, who are the Micks?
>
>Ah, me boyo, 'tis Tim Chew ye should be askin' tha' o'

Sorry, but I am not Irish, despite what Ian says.

Tim "not that there's anything wrong with that" Chew

Malcolm Pack

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Also Sprach Munchkin:

Massage: <70l7ge$fco$1...@news-int.gatech.edu>
Froom: "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it>
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 14:01:28 -0400
______________________________:

> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?

Well, what do you expect from a bewigged former glamour bookcase?

--

Malc, Southend-on-Sea, UK (not Europe, or the World)

UCE > /dev/null

Malcolm Pack

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:

Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
______________________________:

> > Always capitalize the word english.

> Even when playing Billiards?

The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
is it "top"? Or "screwing")

Barry O'Neill

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Tom Tom Harrington wrote:

>
> Your English is good, but I'm worried about your accent. If "FAQ"
> rhymes with "luck" for you, then you need to be careful who you say
> "FAQ" to.
>
> Tom "FAQ off" Harrington

FAQU,UFAQINFAQ.

regards,

Barry

Paul L. Kelly

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew) attempted to infuriate me
by saying:

>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
>L. Kelly) wrote:
>
>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>
>>>
>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>>
>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>>
>>>
>>>Sick bastard.
>>>
>>
>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
>

>I say we cut 'is head off.

Let's have tea.

Paul L. Kelly

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk (Malcolm Pack) attempted

to infuriate me by saying:

>Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:


>
>Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
>Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
>On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
>______________________________:
>
>> > Always capitalize the word english.
>
>> Even when playing Billiards?
>
>The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
>is it "top"? Or "screwing")

Nudge nudge wink wink knowhatamean knowhatamean?

So what's it like, eh?

Paul L. Kelly

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Barry O'Neill <bon...@cableinet.co.uk> attempted to infuriate me by
saying:

>Tom Tom Harrington wrote:

Good one. Is this a meta-acronym?

Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Kenneth Sörling (kenneth...@edt.ericsson.se) writes:
>>> You will rupture your spleen,
>>[snip]
>>> reading posts from our Bitchy Queen.
>>
>>Have you been reading archived apk material or is that just a really
>>spooky coincidence?
>
> Archived? Where do I find those? In that DejayNyoo thing?
> And how far back do I have to go to find out what you're on about?

Clearly, it's a spooky coincidence. I have a spleen thing. Well, a
gigantic fluid-filled cyst that I thought for two weeks might be cancer
until they found out that it was, in fact, a fluid-filled cyst. So I
found it odd that you'd make the reference, is all.

> No kidding. Matthew Thomas has already taken away my exclamation
> marks. *sob*

SO kick him and take them back. Never let anyone stomp on you.


KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)...aka Kimberly Chapman, BJ, BA
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"One must forego the self to achieve total spiritual creaminess and
avoid the chewy chunks of degradation." - Ace Ventura
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
strike (strik) n. - an effort to increase egg production by strangling
the chicken.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
** Check out alt.pub.kacees **
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm


Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

"DMP" (ten.asu@rekrapmd) writes:
>
> Before we're nice to you, are you female?


Or a sexy nerdy guy? I prefer those, thoguh some females are tempting.

Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
> <bunch of crap snipped>

>
> This is kinda off topic but why dont you guys ever stay on topic here?

I have a shiny paperclip.


Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
> [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.

What's a Mick?


Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Paul L. Kelly (bright...@mindspring.com) writes:
> "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>Sick bastard.
>
> Oh, let's be nice to him!

Are you sure? He/she is approaching your brSff tank with a mirror...

Kimberly Chapman, aka KaCee of KaCee's Place (alt.pub.kacees)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Seen on a van for a construction company:

Guaranteed Satisfaction with every erection!
-------------------------------------------------------------
http://outer-net.com/kacee/welcome.htm

Kimberly Chapman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

"Munchkin" (sp...@sucks.it) writes:
> DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>
>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>
>
> Sick bastard.

ITYM "Squick bastard." HTH. HAND.


Kenneth Sörling

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
It had to happen eventually. On (22 Oct 1998 13:44:02 GMT)
aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman) finally caught me
off-guard while I was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me
face-first into the wall, and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:

It's an Irish man/woman. You know, like in Patriot Games and the such.
They're all named Mick, you know! When they assume other names, it's
just to show off. Mickey Rourke had the courage to keep his name, but
then he had to blow it by pumping silicon into his cheeks. Pshah!

------------------------------------------------------------------
My thoughts and opinions are my own and not those of my employers.
Their last original thought was back in 1957.

DMP

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70mff7$ih1$6...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...

>Also Sprach Charles A. Lieberman:
>
>Massage: <MPG.10983d03a...@news.bu.edu>
>Froom: cali...@bu.ed.u (Charles A. Lieberman)
>On: Wed, 21 Oct 1998 20:12:51 -0400
>______________________________:
>
>> > Always capitalize the word english.
>
>> Even when playing Billiards?
>
>The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
>is it "top"? Or "screwing")


No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
you do with a stick, balls and holes....

DMP

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Paul L. Kelly wrote in message <362f1631...@news.mindspring.com>...
>twc...@raspberry.mindspring.com (Tim Chew) attempted to infuriate me
>by saying:
>

>>On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 23:28:38 GMT, bright...@mindspring.com (Paul
>>L. Kelly) wrote:
>>
>>>"Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>>>
>>>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Sick bastard.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Oh, let's be nice to him!
>>
>>I say we cut 'is head off.
>
>Let's have tea.


And then we'll cut 'is head off.

DMP

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Kimberly Chapman wrote in message <70ncr2$n...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>...

>
>Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>
>What's a Mick?


$20 bucks, same as in town...

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Paul Kelly can witness that Paul L. Kelly on Wed, 21 Oct 1998 wrote:

> "Munchkin" <sp...@sucks.it> attempted to infuriate me by saying:
>
>>
>>DMP wrote in message <70lfb4$8...@news1.newsguy.com>...
>>>
>>>Before we're nice to you, are you female?
>>>
>>
>>Sick bastard.
>>
>
> Oh, let's be nice to him!

May I? May I? Please?

-Lars "Obelix" Clausen

--
Lars R. Clausen (lrcl...@cs.uiuc.edu)
A *real* smart bomb would call in sick, perhaps move to another country,
changing its name in the process, open a beach bar maybe and live out its
days in safe anonymity. -- Barry O'Neill in rhod

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, ten.asu@rekrapmd wrote, without the least grovelling:

And you think it is...?

-Lars "Suddenly not quite sure he wants the answer" Clausen

Malcolm Pack

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Also Sprach DMP:

Massage: <70nj2n$5...@news1.newsguy.com>
Froom: "DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd>
On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 10:29:20 -0500
______________________________:

> >The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
> >is it "top"? Or "screwing")

> No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
> you do with a stick, balls and holes....

s/think/know/

All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.

Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.

Malcolm Pack

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Also Sprach Kimberly Chapman:

Massage: <70ncr2$n...@freenet-news.carleton.ca>
Froom: aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman)
On: 22 Oct 1998 13:44:02 GMT
______________________________:

> What's a Mick?

Famous middle-aged (or more) English (Yorkshire) former cricketer, now
in court in France trying to overturn a judgement of guilty in the
matter if his punching his girlfriend in the face.

His defence seems to rely more heavily on his inability to turn up in
court for the first trial (because he was in South Africa at the time
- tricky Johnnies, airports...) than any claim that he might not have
done the punching.

Alternatively: <http://www.infind.com> - My generosity got all used up
on the previous one.

Barry O'Neill

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>
> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>
> What's a Mick?

Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
Italians or b) French.

regards,

Barry
--
Caution! This .sig slippery when wet.

Ben Fisher

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
Malcolm Pack wrote:
>
> Also Sprach DMP:
>
> Massage: <70nj2n$5...@news1.newsguy.com>
> Froom: "DMP" <ten.asu@rekrapmd>
> On: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 10:29:20 -0500
> ______________________________:
>
> > >The English don't call that english, you know. We call it "side" (or
> > >is it "top"? Or "screwing")
>
> > No wonder you Brits never get to have sex, you think screwing is something
> > you do with a stick, balls and holes....
>
> s/think/know/
>
> All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>
> Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
> it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.

I hate to tell you this Malc, but the baby is only wearing a diaper.

Ben
--
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons | I don't claim to
For you are Crunchy | speak for Intel.
And taste good with Catsup | Yet.

Modify my email address to reply

DMP

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to

Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...

>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.

s/prevert/pervert/

And yes, I am one, but you make that sound like a bad thing...

>
>Next you'll be telling me that when the stork finally brings the baby
>it isn't wearing a little blue mailman's cap.


What kind of nonsense is that? A mailman's cap? If the stork was a
mailman, wouldn't he just package the baby, throw in the postal box and be
done with it?

Besides what does this have to with the topic we were discussing?

Charles A. Lieberman

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
DMP

> Before we're nice to you, are you female?

If not, will our being nice to him make him female?

--
Charles A. Lieberman | "I hadn't planned to kill [the cop], but when he
Brooklyn, New York, USA | stopped to pick up his brass I just figured he
| was too stupid to live." -- Anonymous
http://members.tripod.com/~calieber/index.html

Kenneth Sörling

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
It had to happen eventually. On (22 Oct 1998 13:42:20 GMT)

aq...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Kimberly Chapman) finally caught me
off-guard while I was hiding in rec.humor.oracle.d, pushed me
face-first into the wall, and slapped on the cuffs while hissing:

>

Who says you can't put catsup on a chocolate cake anyway?

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, Barry O'Neill wrote, without the least grovelling:

> Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
> Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a
> particular European island that hasn't been invaded by either the a)
> Italians or b) French.

That must be... Sjælland! Or Fyn! Or Gotland! No, wait, I know... Als!
Or maybe Anholt! Don't tell me! It's one of the Faeroe[1] Islands!

-Lars "What did I win?" Clausen

[1] Or however Færøerne is spelled in English/Merkin/whatever.

Lars Clausen

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, ten.asu@rekrapmd thusly discussed the words of the
Internet Oracle:

>
> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>
>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>
> s/prevert/pervert/

s/pervert/pervect/

Combined with long, nasty teeth and fangs, green scaled skin and a nasty
temper at leisure.

-Lars "Oz?" Clausen

Chris OBrien

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On Thu, 22 Oct 1998 17:07:24 +0100, Barry O'Neill
<bon...@cableinet.co.uk> wrote:

>Kimberly Chapman wrote:
>>
>> Malcolm Pack (m.p...@NOSPAMPLEASEWEREBRITISHcableinet.co.uk) writes:
>> > [0] The temptation to grade from Brit through Mick, Kiwi and
>> > Canuck to Strine, while leaving Merkins out altogether, was
>> > cleverly avoided at this point so as not to cause offense.
>>
>> What's a Mick?
>
>Someone with a surname like, f'rinstance, O'Neill. Natives of a

Or, perchance, OBrien.

Chris "Yeah, and whasis name from Law & Order"[1] OBrien

[1] This is really embarassing, I watch that show all the time and I
can't remember his name. I remember Jill Hennesy[2].
[2] Who is from my home town, Kitchener! <kenny>Woo-hoo</kenny>

~~~
obi...@home.com
"No. Cry not. Poo. Or poo not. There is no cry."
- motivation for my 3 month old son.

Chris OBrien

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98
to
On 22 Oct 1998 15:00:19 -0500, Lars Clausen
<lrcl...@shasta.cs.uiuc.edu> wrote:

>On Thu, 22 Oct 1998, ten.asu@rekrapmd thusly discussed the words of the
>Internet Oracle:
>
>>
>> Malcolm Pack wrote in message <70nqpq$l53$4...@news1.cableinet.co.uk>...
>>
>>>All Merkins are preverts. DMP^H^Hinner DMP^H^Houbly so.
>>
>> s/prevert/pervert/
>
>s/pervert/pervect/
>
>Combined with long, nasty teeth and fangs, green scaled skin and a nasty
>temper at leisure.
>
>-Lars "Oz?" Clausen

s/Oz/Aahz/

Al Sharka

unread,
Oct 22, 1998, 3:00:00 AM10/22/98