A little kugel

[fus...@channel1.com]

Abe is 96, and so ill that the doctors send him home to die. He's
dozing in his bedroom upstairs, his son Joel sitting nearby, while the
family has gathered downstairs. Abe awakens, sniffs the air, and says
weakly, "Joel, I smell some of your mother's wonderful kugel. I wonder,
could you run downstairs and get me a little piece, a small mouthful,
the last thing I want to taste in this life."

"Of course, papa," says Joel, and goes downstairs, returning only
moments later empty handed:

"Mama says no. She's saving it for the shivah."

[Jonathan I. Kamens]

A better telling of this joke, which appeared several months ago in
this newsgroup, can be viewed here:
<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=379068705>.

[Mordechai Housman]

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?

Eh, that's an old joke and you told it wrong!

--
Visit the Being Jewish web site
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The latest in interactive Jewish study!

[marnie alexis friedman]

On Thu, 24 Dec 1998, Jonathan I. Kamens wrote:

> <http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=379068705>.

urls just aren't intrinsically funny, sorry.
or maybe some guys just don't know how to tell a joke... ;)

-maf

"there you go, midnight promises again but they're broken by the dawn..."
_________________________________________________________________________
marnie alexis friedman 136 lowell mail ctr. cambridge, ma 02138.7527
www.fas.harvard.edu/~mfriedm 617/493.2942 mar...@math.harvard.edu

[Gillam Kerley]

marnie alexis friedman wrote:
>
> On Thu, 24 Dec 1998, Jonathan I. Kamens wrote:
>
> > <http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=379068705>.
>
> urls just aren't intrinsically funny, sorry.
> or maybe some guys just don't know how to tell a joke... ;)

All the regulars of rec.humor.jewish had been posting and reading the
same old jokes time and time again for several years. Since no new
Jewish jokes were forthcoming, Moshe said "From now on, let's save
ourselves some wear and tear on our typing fingers and just post the
Deja News address of the old jokes."

After that, posts to r.h.j. all followed the format:

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=436849045>

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=953686543>

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=376437628>

And each post would be greeted with responses from the regulars:

ROTFL

LOL

Great one, Moshe!

and so forth.

This had been going on for several months when a Usenet newbie stumbled
onto the newsgroup. He was initially perplexed, but his confusion soon
turned to amazement at the ingenious way in which r.h.j. was run. Soon
he summoned up the courage to post a joke himself:

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=853795767>

He posted it; it appeared on the screen; but no one responded. No
"LOL". No "ROTFL". No "Great joke, Newbie!"

Well, Newbie figured, maybe that just wasn't a very funny URL. So he
tried again.

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=376298765>

Same result. And he tried once again with
<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=942687987>, to no avail.

Newbie, in desperation, wrote to Moshe, to ask what was going on. Why
was no one laughing at his URLs. Moshe asked the young man to watch,
while he posted the very same URLs Newbie had tried:

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=853795767>

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=376298765>

<http://www.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=942687987>

Each was greeted with thunderous response. "LOL", "ROTFLMAO", "Best one
I've heard in years!" And on and on.

By now, Newbie was nearly in tears. Moshe, he pleaded, why is this
happening?

"Very simple, my son," came the reply. "It's not the joke; it's how you
tell it."

GK

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any actual Deja News URL, living or
dead, is purely coincidental. Any resemblance to an old joke involving
prisoners rather than r.h.j. posters is quite intentional.

[Prof. L. P. Levine]

Gillam Kerley <gke...@execpc.com> wrote:

: All the regulars of rec.humor.jewish had been posting and reading the

: same old jokes time and time again for several years. Since no new
: Jewish jokes were forthcoming, Moshe said "From now on, let's save
: ourselves some wear and tear on our typing fingers and just post the
: Deja News address of the old jokes."

A magnificent twist on the prisoner/joke-teller-convention joke and
arrived at in a natural way from the thread.

Best meta-humor of the century award (BMHOTC) for this.

len levine

[gro...@erols.com]

So the lady says: "Everybody loves my koogel."
And the lady from Great Neck: "Ladies, vare I'm coming from, it's not
'koogel,' it's "keegel."
And the upper east side lady corrects them: "Ladies, it's not 'koogel'
and it's not 'keegel.' In higher society it's 'pudyink.'"

[Mordechai Housman]

Here's another Myron Cohen joke:

Try to imagine two ladies speaking in a heavy Jewish accent, because
I can't type a Jewish accent like Myron Cohen could speak one.

Lady 1: So, where did you spend your summer last year?

Lady 2: In Palum Beach.

Lady 1: Palum Beach? What, you not talking a good English? It's Pahm
Beach, not Palum Beach.

Lady 2: You know, you're right. I was confusing it with Palum Springs.

--

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[Leon]

Mordechai Housman wrote

>Here's another Myron Cohen joke:

And here's another:

First woman: So, where you going next winter?
Second woman: Bombay.
First woman: So why Bombay?
Second woman: Last year we was bom ocean and I didn't like it.

[To the monolingual members of the tribe, "bom bay" means "by the bay". To
the Other Nations ... you had to be there to appreciate it.]

Leon