1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon: The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
fruit you're eating.