NJJF: NJJF: Pandaring to humor
maxine in ri
When he finishes eating it, he pulls out a gun, fires at the owner
of the deli, and walks out.
When the police finally catch him, they ask him why?
His reply: I looked in the encyclopedia and it said "Panda: a large
Asian bear that eats, shoots and leaves.
(this is a repeat for those of you listening to Morning Edition on
NPR today)
maxine in ri
Ray
before shooting them, because it is "A large Asian bear that eats,
roots, shoots, and leaves
regards
Ray
John Phillips
On Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 22:40:32 Thursday, 22 April 2004 (where I live), "maxine in ri" wrote:
> His reply: I looked in the encyclopedia and it said "Panda: a large
> Asian bear that eats, shoots and leaves.
Why is the Australian Male like a Wombat? (look it up on Google)
Because he eats roots & leaves.
--
IF numcooks > .maxcooks THEN;SET V broth = 'spoiled';END
Fiona
"maxine in ri" <wee...@hotmail.com> wrote
This is from the dust cover of the excellent book on punctuation by Lynne
Truss called "Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to
Punctuation" (ISBN 1-86197-612-7). Which will be available in the land to
the west of the great sea in May.
<http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1861976127/qid=1082649240/sr=
1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-6347785-7830521?v=glance&s=books>
Highly recommended; very readable, and very funny.
Fiona
The Old Bear
>Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 23:44:08 EDT
>From: "Fiona" <fi...@intxtdoc.nospam.demon.co.uk>
>Newsgroups: rec.humor.jewish
>Subject: Re: NJJF: Pandaring to humor
>
>"maxine in ri" <wee...@hotmail.com> wrote
>>
>> A panda walks into a deli and orders a sandwich.
>>
. . .
>This is from the dust cover of the excellent book on punctuation by Lynne
>Truss called "Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to
>Punctuation" (ISBN 1-86197-612-7). Which will be available in the land to
>the west of the great sea in May.
I assume that "west of the great sea" refers to Japan. Lynne Truss's
book has been available here long enough to be listed second on today's
(Apr 25) New York Times non-fiction best seller list.
Maybe Stan Kegel can provide more background on this pun, but I recall
hearing it for the first time several years ago in a news story about one
of the "pun societies" naming it as pun-of-the-year. This considerably
pre-dates Lynn Truss's book.
I recall at that time the pun was told as follows:
Their household having just returned to normal after the
untoward encounter with Goldilocks, the three bears were just
sitting down to dinner when a strange bear burst into the
room terrifying them all. They fled from the table as the
bear grabbed their dinner and gulped it down. The strange bear
then reached into his backpack, pulled out a gun and fired at
the ceiling before running out through the front door as
suddenly as he had entered.
The Papa Bear, still shaking, turned to the Mama Bear and said,
"What was that?"
"I don't know," said the Mama Bear, also terrified.
The Baby Bear rushed over to the bookshelf where the encyclopedia
was kept and started thumbing rapidly through the pages. He
looked up at the Mama Bear and the Papa Bear and announced, "That
was a Panda Bear -- it says right here: Eats shoots and leaves."
Just a little different variant of the same story. Stan?
Cheers,
The Old Bear
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -
... and with a resounding splash, Noah sent forth from the ark a Dov ... ©
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ -
lev...@uwm.edu
punctuation, believe it or not, that was a run-away best seller in
England last year and is doing very well in the States this year.
If you, as I am, are a stickler for punctuation, then get this book.
Another bit of humor from the book is the following:
It has been said that there is a conservation law regulating
apostrophes; just as many are added where they do not belong as are
left out where they do. A correct use might be seen in the sign over
a grocer's shop:
Carrott's Groceries
(Proprietor, Sam Carrott)
Ray
Actually the panda made mad, passionate love to the deli owner before
shooting them because it is "A large Asian bear that "eats, roots,
shoots and leaves"
regards
Ray
maxine in ri
in apostrophic usage.
maxine in ri
Marvin Margoshes
"Fiona" <fi...@intxtdoc.nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:c6eprc$jl3$1$8300...@news.demon.co.uk...
The boiok is reviewed in the Sunday NY Times of April 25. The url is
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/04/25/books/review/25MORRIST.html.
The reviewer didn't like the book as well as Fiona did.
meirman
old...@arctos.not-a-dot-in-this-spot.com (The Old Bear) posted:
Not just any encyclopedia, but Encyclopedia Beartannica.
>
>
>Just a little different variant of the same story. Stan?
>
>Cheers,
>The Old Bear
Meirman
If emailing, please let me know whether
or not you are posting the same letter.
Change domain to erols.com, if necessary.
maxine in ri
I had a half hour to kill while waiting for my teen to finish her
shopping, so I sat down in Borders and perused the book. The humor
is definately English, and some of the references are rarified to us
westies. It's not slapstick like Monty Python, nor sly like "Are
you being served?", but the comments from some of the folk who
participate in the author's on-the-street surveys are hysterical.
maxine in ri
Ray
Periods can make a difference in meaning as well.
"Opening share price of Google is $100. Do I continue to buy?"
"No. Price is too high" vs, "No price is too high"
regards
Ray
lev...@uwm.edu
> This is from the dust cover of the excellent book on punctuation by Lynne
> Truss called "Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to
> Punctuation" (ISBN 1-86197-612-7). Which will be available in the land to
> the west of the great sea in May.
> <http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1861976127/qid=1082649240/sr=
> 1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-6347785-7830521?v=glance&s=books>
Japan? China?
Oh, the other great sea.
len levine
Ray
Fiona and maxine, Punctuation is sooooooooo important.
"What is this thing, called love?"
"What is thing thing called, Love?
regards
Ray
maxine in ri
Already on the bookshelves at the stores here on the other side of
the pond. And when you consider some of the gaffes a misplaced
comma or colon can cause, how could it be anything but funny.
Only the British could have pulled it off, tho.
maxine in ri
Joe and Ruth Levy
wee...@hotmail.com wrote on 4/28/04 7:10 PM:
All right, already. I am forced to give a few examples of how
punctuation, spacing and capitalization can change meaning:
Right: You've gone, and far, Ted.
Wrong: You've gone and farted.
Right: The pen is mightier than the sword.
Wrong: The penis, mightier than the sword>
Right: That man is a psychotherapist.
Wrong: That man is a psycho - the rapist!
A funny language, English.
Dave Bell
>
> Fiona and maxine, Punctuation is sooooooooo important.
>
> "What is this thing, called love?"
> "What is thing thing called, Love?
"What is this thing called? 'Love'?"
> regards
> Ray
Dave
Fiona
"Dave Bell" <db...@TheSPAMFREEBells.net> wrote in message
news:Pine.NEB.4.58.04...@shell2.bayarea.net...
"What!? Is this thing called love?"
Fiona
meirman
<db...@TheSPAMFREEBells.net> posted:
What! Is this thing called love?
>
>> regards
>> Ray
>
>Dave
Dave Bell
"What is this, Thing-Called-Love?"
Dave
Davida Chazan - The Chocolate Lady
On Sun, 2 May 2004 07:25:44 EDT, meirman <mei...@invalid.com> wrote:
>In rec.humor.jewish on Fri, 30 Apr 2004 21:03:15 EDT Dave Bell
><db...@TheSPAMFREEBells.net> posted:
>
>>On Wed, 28 Apr 2004, Ray wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Fiona and maxine, Punctuation is sooooooooo important.
>>>
>>> "What is this thing, called love?"
>>> "What is thing thing called, Love?
>>
>>"What is this thing called? 'Love'?"
>
>What! Is this thing called love?
What is this? Thing called Love?
(Aadams Family version.)
--
Davida Chazan (The Chocolate Lady)
<davidac AT jdc DOT org DOT il>
~*~*~*~*~*~
"What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of
chocolate."
--Katharine Hepburn (May 12, 1907 - June 29, 2003)
~*~*~*~*~*~
PSmith9626
A famous Oxford Don was invited to a traditional party at the Boars Head Pub.
He said:
Tonight, we honor the ancient british tradition of the Boars Head.
Unfortunately, this Don was Professor Spooner!
best
Penny
"You have tasted two worms and now you must leave by the town drain"--Spooner
>From " Miscellany" by Littlewood.
( Math stories of Littlewood).
> Right: You've gone, and far, Ted.
> Wrong: You've gone and farted.
>
> Right: The pen is mightier than the sword.
> Wrong: The penis, mightier than
Great.
PSmith9626
WONDERFUL.
best
penny
>What is this? Thing called Love?
That's IT.
Don Levey
>
> >What is this? Thing called Love?
>
> That's IT.
>
*Cousin* It?
--
Don Levey NOTE: spamtrapped address likely to change
Framingham, MA at any moment. Most recent post has best
address.
PSmith9626
I wonder, why I wonder, why, I wonder why?
I wonder why, I wonder why, I wonder why.
I wonder, why, I wonder why, I wonder why?
I wonder why I wonder, why I wonder?--why!.
Etc.
--Richard Feynman.
best
penny
PSmith9626
That was, indeed, what I meant.
best
penny
Fred Rosenblatt
> NOTE: My Correct Address is in my signature (just remove the spaces).
> On Sun, 2 May 2004 07:25:44 EDT, meirman <mei...@invalid.com> wrote:
>
> >In rec.humor.jewish on Fri, 30 Apr 2004 21:03:15 EDT Dave Bell
> ><db...@TheSPAMFREEBells.net> posted:
> >
> >>On Wed, 28 Apr 2004, Ray wrote:
> >>
> >>>
> >>> Fiona and maxine, Punctuation is sooooooooo important.
> >>>
> >>> "What is this thing, called love?"
> >>> "What is thing thing called, Love?
> >>
> >>"What is this thing called? 'Love'?"
> >
> >What! Is this thing called love?
>
> What is this? Thing called Love?
>
> (Aadams Family version.)
What is this thing? Called love?
(A person's first reaction to an escort service).
Davida Chazan - The Chocolate Lady
wrote:
It is Love?
Ray
Enjoyed that. I admire the skill in clever use of words. Along a similar
line, the word 'had, can be used 11 times consecutively in a sentence
and still make sense......
The teacher said "The fact that Jones, where Smith had had 'had had',
had had 'had had had', had had great weight in awarding the English prize"
regards
Ray
David S. Rubin
> psmit...@aol.com (PSmith9626) writes:
>
> >
> > >What is this? Thing called Love?
> >
> > That's IT.
> >
> *Cousin* It?
No, IT - the happiest sadist.
(bonus points for recognizing the reference)
MGW
wrote:
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (and, no, I didnt' watch the TV
movie tonight - wouldn't have even if I didn't know that L'Engle
thought it was bad)
PSmith9626
Great.
Penny
How do you spell fish?
"GHOTI"--Shaw
enouGH
wOMen
naTIon.
maxine in ri
No. Cousin Itt!
maxine in ri
PSmith9626
I did--as it was a major influence on my childhood ( I am a researcher in
multidimensional differential geomety(.
The TV movie was wonderful.
best
penny
>A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle (and, no, I didnt' watch the TV
>movie tonight - wouldn't have even if I didn't know that L'Engle
>thought it was bad)
That was a loss.
maxine in ri
No fair. They just aired a mediocre version of "A wrinkle in Time"
on ABC last night.
l'engle fan in ri
Don Levey
Ah, I forgot: T for two.
PSmith9626
What was mediocre about it?
Most things on TV are awful.
This was much better than usual, or than I expected.
best
Penny
They did make the world of C less perfect ( and deadly) and more conventional.
But the idea got across. In fact, perhaps better.
Gorbag
"Don Levey" <Don...@the-leveys.us> wrote in message
news:m3oeosd...@dauphin.the-leveys.us...
> maxine in ri <wee...@hotmail.com> writes:
>
> > Don Levey wrote:
> > >
> > > psmit...@aol.com (PSmith9626) writes:
> > >
> > > >
> > > > >What is this? Thing called Love?
> > > >
> > > > That's IT.
> > > >
> > > *Cousin* It?
> > > --
> > > Don Levey NOTE: spamtrapped address likely to
change
> > > Framingham, MA at any moment. Most recent post has
best
> > > address.
> >
> > No. Cousin Itt!
> >
> > maxine in ri
> >
> Ah, I forgot: T for two.
No, T for True. Nil for false.
ObLispJoke:
Moon (a famous Lisp hacker) is on an airplane. The waitress asks if he would
like coffee. "T" says David. His friends have to tell the waitress that he
doesn't want Tea.
Ray
Or my dog Phydeaux
maxine in ri
rarely sit in front of the tube. It's difficult to impossible to
interpret magical concepts to the screen, since they're so individualistic.
truely,
maxine in ri
PSmith9626
Thanks.
I understand.
I watch about 1 hour a week--but I grew up watching a lot of tv.
best
Penny
>perhaps you watch more tv than I do. Wouldn't be hard, since I
>rarely sit in front of the tube. It's difficult to impossible to
>interpret magical concepts to the screen, since they're so individualistic.
I looked at the book, and I think they caught the essence very well.