Paint your portrait Lady?

[Robert ASF.]

The wealthy wife of a very successful Jewish businessman went to
the portrait artist for her first sitting. The portrait, a gift for her
husband. She explained to the artist what she wanted: "You should paint me
like I am. These little wrinkles, you put them on your canvas. The lines
under my eyes, the flab on my arms, the turn in my nose, and the mole on
my cheek, they all stay... BUT on my hands you put lots of rings with big
diamonds and emeralds and bright jewels. Around my neck you put chains of
gold and diamonds. Do you understand?"

The artist looked at her in earnest and asked why she should want
such detail of real life in her physical appearance, but adorn herself
with the phony jewelry.

She replied: "I am not well. When I die my husband will re-marry.
The new wife, she should go crazy looking for the jewels."

[David Lloyd-Jones]

"Robert ASF." <ra_f...@alcor.concordia.ca>

> She replied: "I am not well. When I die my husband will re-marry.
> The new wife, she should go crazy looking for the jewels."

The last time I went back to university, I took a series of accounting and
tax courses, thinking, incorrectly, that they might stand me in good stead
over the years.

All of the classes were about 3/4ths female, about half Chinese and 1/4th
Jamaican. Since I was one of the few white males in the class, the
instructor, Pete McGuillan, one of Canada's smartest and nastiest tax
accountants, took me aside one day and asked me what was going on here.

"Oh, they have to protect the assets," I told him.

-dlj.