Differences between Jewish Men and Women.

[zigmund]

• Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how
wonderful they are.
• Women have a number of faults. Men have only two - everything they
say and everything they do.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
• When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. When men
are depressed, they invade another country.
• A man is a person who will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants. A woman,
however, will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't want.
• Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Now
you know which sex is smarter.
• It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer
women who can pretend to be foolish whenever necessary, which is the
very core of intelligence.
• Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle
instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance.
• To be happy with a man, a woman must understand him a lot and love
him a little. To be happy with a woman, a man must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
• Men marry because they are tired; women marry because they are
curious. Both are disappointed.
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
• A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to
marry her; a man will always cherish the memory of the woman who he
didn't.
• There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage.
• Only two things are necessary for a man to do to keep his wife
happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the
other is to let her have it.
• Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
• Any married man should forget his mistakes – it’s no use two people
remembering the same thing.
• Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
• Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
• Men are like animals, but they make great pets.