CALL FOR DISCUSSION: rec.toxic.custard

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Greg Kohlbach

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Jan 2, 1991, 9:02:37 AM1/2/91
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Is it just me, or does anyone else consistently fail to get
any humor out of the ubiquitous toxic custard workshop crap?

If, in fact, it is the consensus of rec.humor readers that this
sophomoric drivel is not funny, perhaps it is time to spin off
yet another group just for sir raymond luxury yacht and his
prolific prose. Hence this call for discussion.

Waddayall think?

--Greg K.

Jon Byrd

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Jan 2, 1991, 12:10:20 PM1/2/91
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get a kill file, dude.
--
_______ ____________ _______________________________________________________
/ / _____ _ / / Jonathan Byrd |
/ / / _ / / \/ / j...@apollo.med.utah.edu |
____/ / / // / / / University of Utah School of Medicine |
\____/ /____/ /_/\_/ "Eat, Drink, and be..... fat and drunk?" |

Timothy Bowser

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Jan 2, 1991, 12:42:45 PM1/2/91
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Greg.K...@samba.acs.unc.edu (Greg Kohlbach) writes:

>Is it just me, or does anyone else consistently fail to get
>any humor out of the ubiquitous toxic custard workshop crap?

I found it amusing. I also found the original (late 1989) versions of the
Usenet Oracle to be quite funny, as well as a few BIFF messages (Those
dealing with the Asterisks & Spaces BBS for Commodore 16/64). Like
anything else, be it custard pies or humor, anything overdone is BORING to
the point of nausea.

>Hence this call for discussion.

>Waddayall think?

Lighten up. We have enough nested groups in rec.humor as it is.

>--Greg K.


--
Timothy Bowser, Chief Tape Changer at | sharkey!clmqt!steam!strike
The Iron Horse Information Service | str...@steam.UUCP
-> "Ferroequinologist (n.) One who studies railroads, esp. iron horses." <-

Ed Wright

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Jan 2, 1991, 3:30:44 PM1/2/91
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In article <20...@beguine.UUCP> Greg.K...@samba.acs.unc.edu (Greg Kohlbach) writes:
%Is it just me, or does anyone else consistently fail to get
%any humor out of the ubiquitous toxic custard workshop crap?
%
%If, in fact, it is the consensus of rec.humor readers that this
%sophomoric drivel is not funny, perhaps it is time to spin off
%yet another group just for sir raymond luxury yacht and his
%prolific prose. Hence this call for discussion.

i just put

THRU 48176
/: Re:/:j
/: *Usenet Oracularities/:j
/: TOXIC CUSTARD/:j
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
/: ROCKET ROGER/:j
/: Funky stuff*/:j
/: *PHILS JOKES /:s ~edw/News/PhilsJokes

in my KILL file and Toxic Custard no longer bothers me.
I certainly wouldn't waste a new group where 1 line of code will do.
Ed
--
Without American Veterans
There would be no America
Or American Freedoms
e...@sequent.COM anybackbone!sequent!edw

Daniel Bowen

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Jan 3, 1991, 12:49:30 AM1/3/91
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I've got 65 regular readers who apparently find it funny.
However, I'm not oblivious to criticism; I'm sorry you don't find it
funny. But all you have to do is ignore it. It's only weekly, after
all; it'd take me months to equal the number of green-golfball postings
there are in a week.

Daniel Bowen a.k.a. Raymond Luxury-Yacht

--
Raymond Luxury-Yacht | WE WISH YOU A MERRY SULTANA | "Languages.... sounds
a.k.a. DANIEL BOWEN |-------------------------------| a bit like sandwiches.."
MONASH UNIVERSITY, | vac...@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au | [R.Redpath, Lecturer,
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA |vac...@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au | Computer Tech, Monash]

Ken Johnson

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Jan 4, 1991, 6:07:50 AM1/4/91
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Well, here it is again for the last time... it's in nroff/ptroff format.
Cut off the signature and print it with no macro package.

---------- cut here ---------- 8< ---------- cut here ---------- 8< ----------
.if t \{
.sp |1i
.ps 10
.vs 12p \}
.nf
.na
.de CH
.br
.in +0.1i
.if t \{
.ps -2
.ft 2 \}
.sp
..
.de VE
.br
.if t \{
.ps +2
.ft 1 \}
.in -0.1i
.sp
..
.de PT
.ev 2
.sp |2.5i
.ev
..
.de PB
'bp
..
.if t \{
.ft 3 \}
Teenage Mutant Ninja Custard
.if t \{
.ft 1 \}

.wh 0 PT
.wh -1i PB
Up in the streets the city is toiling,
Down in the basement the milk is boiling,
The chef is working; he's made a start
Cooking sauce Anglaise for his rhubarb tart.
An explosion flattens the power station,
Out pours a cloud of radiation,
And the sauce in the vats is so thickly dusted
It turns into: Mutant Ninja Custard!
.CH
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CUSTARD!
.VE
Now it flies through the air, fighting crime and do-gooding
Or landing >>SPLOOSH!<< on a Christmas pudding,
When it punches the mouths of the mean and vicious
They lick their lips and they cry ``Delicious!''
Then it takes them prisoner and turns them in
Bound hand and foot in custard skin
Now crime is cracked and the Mafia's busted
Thanks to the Mutant Ninja Custard!
.CH
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CUSTARD!
.VE
First there's Brownandpolson, who's soft and sweet
To keep you safe on the city street;
There's Ambrosiadairy and then there's Green's;
Then there's Chocolateflavour, he's full of beans.
Carmelle's the teacher, she's firm but cool,
She taught these Ninjas the golden rule:
``If he's armed or crazy, just give him an eyefull:
You're not in a jam, it's only a trifle.''
.CH
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CUSTARD!
.VE
.bp
Ketchup, the arch-fiend of many vices,
Wants to cut the heroes into custard slices
He's got such sauce, he starts to bellow
``Will you come and fight, or are you yellow?''
A struggle begins, the outcome's amusing:
The Ketchup is shaken well before losing.
He'd not have had to endure such miseries
If he hadn't challenged the four patisseries.
.CH
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CUSTARD!
.VE
The custard loved puddings right from the start;
Its very first words were ``Rhubarb tart!''
If a crook attacks you, you might get hurt:
But the custard will give him his just dessert.
These vanilla heroes are on a mission
They know how to leave an enemy wishing
He'd stayed at home and watched the telly
Instead of fighting these blobs of jelly.
.CH
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
C\(emU\(emS\(emT\(emA\(emR\(emD POWDER!
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA CUSTARD!
.VE
All the people know they can get protection
From the sticky vanilla and egg confection
And the city's crooks have to face the Judge
When they're brought to book by the mutant fudge:
It's a bird! It's a plane! No \(em it's custard pie
That yells as it shoots through the city sky
Evil is loud but good is louder:
We all possess: CUSTARD POWDER!

--
Ken Johnson, AI Applications Institute, ************************************
80 South Bridge, Edinburgh EH1 1HN * Meat is Murder! *
E-mail k...@aiai.ed.ac.uk * Fish is justifiable ichthyocide! *
Phone 031-225 4464 extension 213 ************************************

SWE...@esoc.bitnet

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Jan 5, 1991, 4:57:08 AM1/5/91
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Why can't we just subscribe, 'cos I find it pretty good and so do the other 10
people I forward it to. Keep up the good work.

Cheers


~ Sebastian J. Welton | SWE...@ESOC.BITNET or ~
~ European Space Operations Centre | DDAESA10 @ DEARN ~
~ Darmstadt, Germany | ~
take a look in your pockets, did you do alright last night ?

Matthew Robert Hucke

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Jan 7, 1991, 3:32:15 PM1/7/91
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Toxic Custard is one of the best things found in this group. It is far better
than the usual bullshit, such as:

1. Green Golfball
2. 1=2 Math Jokes
3. Idiots who quote a 50 line joke (removing nothing) and then add only one
line of their own, plus a signature.
4. "Yeah, but I heard it this way... Get it right!!!"
5. Goats and probability
6. Long chains of puns (like that hotdog thing last month)
7. "You're a racist! People shouldn't be allowed to post Polack jokes!!"
8. Last but not least, religious nuts.

+--------------------------------+====================================+
| And in The End, | Internet:mrh4...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu |
| The love you take, | WWIVNet : Conan@685x |
| is equal to the love you make.| WWIVLink: Shai-Hulud@12750 , 12751 |
+--------------------------------+====================================+

Geoff Miller

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Jan 7, 1991, 5:06:58 PM1/7/91
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In article <1991Jan7.2...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> mrh4...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
(Matthew Robert Hucke) writes:

>Toxic Custard is one of the best things found in this group.

I've seen a lot of references to Toxic Custard. But what is it?
Does it have something to do with vaginal discharge?


Geoff


-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller + + + + + + + + Sun Microsystems
geo...@purplehaze.EBay.sun.com + + + + + + + + Milpitas, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Daniel Bowen

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Jan 9, 1991, 6:51:59 AM1/9/91
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In article <43...@male.EBay.Sun.COM>, geo...@purplehaze.EBay.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
> In article <1991Jan7.2...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> mrh4...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu
> (Matthew Robert Hucke) writes:
> >Toxic Custard is one of the best things found in this group.
> I've seen a lot of references to Toxic Custard. But what is it?
> Does it have something to do with vaginal discharge?

I grinned inanely for about ten minutes after reading this.
The "Toxic Custard Workshop Files" is a regular thingy I write in
rec.humor, and it's also available by e-mail (mail
vac...@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au for details)

But, to answer your question:
Me and two friends, David Holicek and Mark Bainbridge, rather
bored with our final year of High School, had a brilliant scheme
to write a TV sketch series. So, after writing a few (fairly bad)
sketches, we needed a name. On the 700 bus home that night from
Mark's joint (no, no drug reference here), we were combining
various silly words, in much the same manner as the Monty Python
team did when they needed a name. David came up with "Toxic Custard
Workshop". At the time, we laughed so much, we decided to use it.
But of course, it never got off the ground. So when I started writing
stuff last year for rec.humor, I decided to pinch that title, as
I couldn't think of anything better.

BTW, some of the early TCWFs contained adapted bits I wrote in 1988,
although most of it was completely unsuited to written format.

Whether the term "toxic custard" actually does have anything to
do with vaginal discharge, or whether TCWF's content resembles
vaginal discharge, I don't know.


Daniel Bowen
Author, "Toxic Custard Workshop Files"
--
Raymond Luxury-Yacht | HAVE A NICE WOMBLE! \\ THIS SIGNATURE
a.k.a. DANIEL BOWEN |-----------------------------\\ HAS BEEN CANCELLED,
MONASH UNIVERSITY, | vac...@vx24.cc.monash.edu.au\\ DUE TO LACK OF
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA |vac...@monu6.cc.monash.edu.au \\ INTEREST.

Sunny Walker

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Jan 13, 1991, 1:18:50 AM1/13/91
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In article <20...@beguine.UUCP> Greg.K...@samba.acs.unc.edu (Greg Kohlbach) writes:

I say:
"Brilliant idea, ol' chap!"
"Off with 'is 'ead"
"I now dub thee Sir Raymond Luxury Yacht of Rec.toxic-custard (or
alt.stupidity)."
"May he rot(13) in hell with the GGBJ (and similar off-breeds)."

IMHO of course :-P

-SW
--
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Sunny Walker, Xevian Technology -- swa...@uhunix1.uhcc.Hawaii.Edu
"Witticism, n. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted, and seldom noted;
what the Philistine is pleased to call a `joke.'" -- Ambrose Bierce, D.D.

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