Tacky Garden Ornaments
Robert Harris Stoertz
I'm sure this subject has been hashed over in rec.gardens before, but
I didn't see it, so here goes.
I find amazing the things some folks put in their gardens. The pink
flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
I cringe when I see those things!
Or those rabbits and deer and stuff that look like they fell straight
out of the movie "Bambi"?
I looked at the prices of these things at White Rose. They were
typically around $20 Canadian, which seemed like a heck of a lot for
something so loathsome to look at. I apologize to those of you who may
like them, for criticizing your taste.
But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
couples.
Am I the only one?
Regards, Robert
Greg Shore
Robert Harris Stoertz wrote:>
> But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
> without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
> people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
> appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
> are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
> The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
>
> Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
> would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
> the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
> couples.
>
> Am I the only one?
> Regards, Robert
No, Robert, you are not the only one. I think they detract from the
garden. I would rather be attracted to the garden and not to the a man
urinating on the plants.
The Bambi ornaments aren't bad if they're well hidden.
Peace,
Greg Shore
gsh...@awod.com
Donald Kackman
In article <4qecft$5...@storm.cycor.ca>, rsto...@cycor.ca says...
>
>I'm sure this subject has been hashed over in rec.gardens before, but
>I didn't see it, so here goes.
>
>couples.
>
>Am I the only one?
>Regards, Robert
There is this store here in Minnesota, I forget what it's called, that
specializes in this type of stuff. If you look at this store from across the
mall you think "Oh look a nice little patio and garden store. I'll go take a
look."
But then when you get up close you realize that they don't have ONE living
thing inside. It is all plastic and silk plants, tape recordings (yes I do not
lie) of bird songs, and the most amazing thing of all: plastic squirrels that
you nail to your trees.
I just want to know in what sort of screwed up David Lynch dystopia to these
people live in that they would want to have plastic squirrels (and cats and
birds as well) in thier trees?
To each thier own I guess.
don
Scott D. Jung
WOuld you consider a well placed gargoyle as tacky?
After all they are supposed to ward off evil. I have been reading
some of the posts from people will all manner of vermin and I bet they
don't have GARGOYLES!
Scott
rsto...@cycor.ca (Robert Harris Stoertz) wrote:
:)>I'm sure this subject has been hashed over in rec.gardens before, but
:)>I didn't see it, so here goes.
:)>I find amazing the things some folks put in their gardens. The pink
:)>flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
:)>socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
:)>I cringe when I see those things!
:)>Or those rabbits and deer and stuff that look like they fell straight
:)>out of the movie "Bambi"?
:)>I looked at the prices of these things at White Rose. They were
:)>typically around $20 Canadian, which seemed like a heck of a lot for
:)>something so loathsome to look at. I apologize to those of you who may
:)>like them, for criticizing your taste.
:)>But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
:)>without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
:)>people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
:)>appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
:)>are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
:)>The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
:)>Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
:)>would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
:)>the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
:)>couples.
:)>Am I the only one?
:)>Regards, Robert
Scott D. Jung
ju...@ix.netcom.com PC-Hero
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/2392
http://www.netcom.com/~jung
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* which can be found online at http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/47/*
Donna Woodka
A friend of mine has a spouse who liked elephants, so he put a small plastic
elephant in the strawberry patch for her to find - with its toenails
painted red, of course.....
--
Donna Woodka | "A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my
| bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the
woo...@sdsc.edu | kind of car I drove... but the world may be different
| because I was important in the life of a child."
Jody Sorensen
I got a chuckle reading your post about ugly statues. What I like to
do is buy small (2"-5") animal statues, so I guess I am (mildly) guilty
of this tacky offense! I tuck them into the flower bed as an amusing
surprise for someone to find who wants to take a closer look at the
plants. Children get a kick out of it, running around my garden
looking for them like an easter egg hunt. Well, my sister (who is not
a gardener) decided my interest in tiny-terra-cotta-critters would make
a good Christmas gift. She went to WalMart and bought a huge, tacky,
painted-white, resin rabbit. I could not believe what I saw. Not
wanting to hurt her feelings I had to find a place for it. Tall
perennials hid most of it, all you see is a white head sticking out.
Last Christmas she gave me ANOTHER big rabbit from WalMart! Now they
appear to be breeding in my yard.
nancy
I'm not sure they really qualify as "garden" ornaments, but the ones
I hate are the giant mutant butterflies that seem to attack houses in
groups of three!
I do like little, sometimes whimsical, touches in a garden. But I think
they should be pleasant surprises, not the attraction itself. (and NOT
500 times their natural size!)
nancy
E. McCullough
As "weed" mentioned about herself, I am somewhat closer to the shape of
those skirts and bloomers than I enjoy mentioning. Imagine my horrified
astonishment when a nephew gave me one for Christmas! It sat in the
garage, face to the wall for quite some time, and then joined the recycle
brigade.
Not only tacky but insensitive I thought. :)
Liz
--
E. McCullough - ac...@freenet.carleton.ca
Christopher Keohane
<snip>
> I just want to know in what sort of screwed up David Lynch dystopia to these
> people live in that they would want to have plastic squirrels (and cats and
> birds as well) in thier trees?
>
> To each thier own I guess.
>
> don
Where can I trade my real chipmunks for plastic ones? ;>)
Sonja
Paula Sherrin
The most aweful garden ornament I've ever seen was a large ceramic frog
with a motion sensor in it's mouth. Anything that passed by would set
off a chorus of rhibits. Scared my toddler half to death!
mo...@usa.pipeline.com
On Jun 22, 1996 01:02:27 in article <Re: Tacky Garden Ornaments>,
Laura Mironsky
jo...@ix.netcom.com(Jody Sorensen) wrote:
> She went to WalMart and bought a huge, tacky,
>painted-white, resin rabbit. <snip> Not
>wanting to hurt her feelings I had to find a place for it.
>> How about a foot and a half green alligator made out of crushed
shells with a big red rose in his mouth?
A gift from the family when I asked them to bring me back a "nice"
ornament for my garden when they were on vacation.
Not exactly what I had in mind :-)
Oh well ,it makes me smile everytime I look at it.
It's the thought that counts.
Laura
Bettye Spatafora
No, Robert, you are not the only one! Without seeming to be a snob, I
can honestly say that I think the majority of people in this world,
are tacky! Not to say there are not wonderful, smart, kind, generous,
loving people out there, but in general, the taste of the general
public leaves something to be desired. I'm sure I'm going to get a
lot of hateful responses to this post, but I think I'm entitled to my
opinion. So, down with wooden ladies in red and white polka dot
dresses bending over their flowers and revealing their "bloomers"!
Janet & John Wintermute
rsto...@cycor.ca (Robert Harris Stoertz) wrote:
>I find amazing the things some folks put in their gardens. The pink
>flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
>socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
>I cringe when I see those things!
>Or those rabbits and deer and stuff that look like they fell straight
>out of the movie "Bambi"?
[snip]
>But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
>without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
>people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
>appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
>are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
>The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
>Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
>would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
>the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
>couples.
Robert, this thread is hysterical. After reading all the current
responses, I just need to add my name to the list of people cringing.
I'm sure these hideous appurtenances are faddish, though. Pink
flamingos seem to be on the decline in favor of the ghastly plywood
bloomer girls. Fortunately, here in the Mid-Atlantic states, I have
not come across the urinating boys phenomenon.
But then it sounds like you don't have to contend with the life-size
cows! On the way to our country house, we pass many large but not
ritzy country properties with "herds" of these "cows" in place in the
middle of the lawn. It's generally one mama cow (very pink udder,
black-and-white spotted skin) and two calves.
If I might make a class-based distinction here without getting too
many flames, it looks to me like plastic and/or plywood gardenware is
the exclusive provenance of the lower-middle and lower classes. One
absolutely never sees these alleged decorations on rich people's
lawns.
As a sidenote, in my youth in Indiana the gazing ball on a pedestal
was commonly seen in front of lower-middle-class houses but seldom at
estates. The gazing ball seems to be moving *up* in class now.
Perhaps we should count ourselves lucky to be relieved of the presence
of Negro lawn jockeys. If you're old enough, you probably realized
that as our national sensitivity on racial issues was raised, the lawn
jockeys were painted in whiteface. Now they're almost extinct
regardless of race. Not a moment too soon, either. May the plastic
3-D deer, the plywood cattle, and the bent-over girl cutouts go the
same way.
--Janet Wintermute
P.S. Liz was right to be offended at the "gift" of the bloomer girl,
and whoever wrote about the first one and now two big white rabbits
also has my sympathy.
Lynn Schneiderman
And let's not forget about the people who have the family of ducks on
their lawns. The mama duck and about three little ones. Ever wonder what
happens when you mow down one of those? "Duck under grass" or "duck a la
lawnmower". ;-)
Lynn Schneiderman
ly...@creighton.edu
TTomlin218
I agree that this has been the most humerous post that I have seen. I
will wait anxiously to see my first tacky urine-boy or bloomer girl. What
I find most in dallas are ducks with springs for necks so that their
little heads "bob" up and down when the wind blows. (My dogs have been
trying to attack my neigbors for months). We also seem to have an
assortment of wooden bovines wandering around, not to mention the
occasional wooden Dallas Cowboy Football Helmet. Can't imaigne how that
manages to grow in anyones garden.
I will admit to having two pink flamingoes in my back garden ( so nobody
knows) that sit amoungst my gladiolla patch outside of my bathroom window.
I think that it is campy, but I would never want my neigbors to find out.
:)
Terri
----Martha wanna be.
Zone 8
DTDerekson
Anyone out there into dressing up cement lawn ornaments? This is somewhat
of a fad here. One buys, say, a cement goose and puts it in front of the
house. Then instead of hanging a wreath on the door for different
holidays, one dresses up the goose with appropriate holiday garb (or
sports garb, depending....)
Actually, I kinda enjoy watching to see what folks will think of next for
their cement buddies to wear. But I don't have one. My plastic hummingbird
spinner would get envious.... ;-)
Ruth Evans
I admit to having a cement hedgehog ornament in my backyard. Everytime I see
it, it reminds me of seeing real ones when I was in Germany walking to my
Opa's grave. When I first got it, my dog would run out to it every time I let
her out back and bark, bark, bark until I told her she was a big brave girl.
I've seen some cute little sparrows in another catalog I wouldn't mind
nestling in another spot. I saw a cute puppy in a recent catalog I got, but I
want that for INSIDE the house! However, I have told my brother he must take
me out and shoot me if he sees me putting out hose plastic geese (or plastic
anythings for that matter!) or the folks bending over and showing the world
their drawers.
Ruth
__ ___ __
__ ////\ /\/\ /\/ _//\ __ /// | Posted by Ruth Evans - rev...@ccubb.com|
\\\//// '\/ \/ / /\/ '\\\\/// | Princess: Cutest Wiggle Tail Ever! |
\xx/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\__/\/\/ \xx/ | Anne McCaffrey: Master Word Crafter |
Neil McLaughlin
I love my daughter dearly but I had to draw the line, when it came to
the 2 1/2ft. brightly painted Snow White and seven dwarfs. These
heirlooms can be found at Payless for a hefty price. They are UGLY I tell
you, and they look distorted or something. Maybe, If I tell Disney about
it they might stop production some how?
Here's another wierd or tacky garden thang. My mom had a scene or sick
and twisted display. It was a bunch of unrelated figures (animals, green
elves, toads, little children) surrounding baby Jesus. No, it was not
christmas. She has since moved and the scene has yet to reunite:)
Happy Gardening
Vashti
rev...@ccubb.com (Ruth Evans) wrote:
>I admit to having a cement hedgehog ornament in my backyard. Everytime I see
>it, it reminds me of seeing real ones when I was in Germany walking to my
>Opa's grave. When I first got it, my dog would run out to it every time I let
>her out back and bark, bark, bark until I told her she was a big brave girl.
>I've seen some cute little sparrows in another catalog I wouldn't mind
>nestling in another spot. I saw a cute puppy in a recent catalog I got, but I
>want that for INSIDE the house! However, I have told my brother he must take
>me out and shoot me if he sees me putting out hose plastic geese (or plastic
>anythings for that matter!) or the folks bending over and showing the world
>their drawers.
The cutest thing I have seen lately is a set of steps that look like
an alligator swimming in the yard. They are actually "stepping stones"
the head peeping out, then the back and then the tail.
I must admit that I HAVE to have ST. Francis in my garden, or I feel
weird. I also have a small weather-beaten wood sign on my rain barrel
that says "wishful thinkin" ...since we are suffering a drought here.
peace
vash
in Oklahoma (are we Zone 7?????)
Sharon Hepburn
re: pink flamingoes in my back yard so nobody sees....IMHO
whatever you do in your backyard is your business anyway<VBG>
It's just those things people put out for the rest of us to see.
Actually I think flamingoes go nicely with glads
sharon
--
George Shirley
My sister has concrete rabbits in her gardens. Real hoot to watch the
local cats leap on them. Her cat, Sister Cat, just sits and watches and
laughs at the other cats and then runs them off for getting in her yard.
I collect pink flamingoes, standing, sitting, flying, plastic, wood,
whatever. Scares the hell out of the grackles and other destructive
birds when they try to fly into the garden. The neighbors think I'm,
ahem, eccentric anyway. Since I'm a consultant and work out of my home
I'm also the house husband, cook, clean, wash, etc. Ain't bad work, got
some other ladies want to know if I hire out and then lose interest when
I tell them I gets to sleep with the lady what lives here.
George in SW Louisiana harvested the herbs again this morning and the
damned eggplant. Whose idea was it to plant six egg plants for two
people?
J. & S. Finnegan
rsto...@cycor.ca (Robert Harris Stoertz) wrote:
>I find amazing the things some folks put in their gardens. The pink
>flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
>socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
>I cringe when I see those things!
Hey, those gnomes are art compared to some of the crap I've seen! If
you really want to cringe, wait'll you see your first jet-black lawn
jockey; I suspect they are also making a socio-political
statement--one I think sucks.
>Or those rabbits and deer and stuff that look like they fell straight
>out of the movie "Bambi"?
>I looked at the prices of these things at White Rose. They were
>typically around $20 Canadian, which seemed like a heck of a lot for
>something so loathsome to look at. I apologize to those of you who may
>like them, for criticizing your taste.
I sometimes think we live in the land of the lowest common
denominator. It's bad enough that people are willing to buy the
tackiest stuff they can find; do they have to be willing to pay good
money for it,too.
I also fail to see why people in this day and age aren't more
sophisticated.
>But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
>without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
>people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
>appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
>are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
>The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
>Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
>would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
>the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
>couples.
It has nothing to do with being young or rebellious; it is simply a
matter of having poor taste. Extremely poor taste.
If someone just has to have "lawn art", there are relatively tasteful
alternatives out there. I have seen some small animal statues made of
terracotta and some made of manure, that wouldn't look bad at all if
they were tucked away amid the foliage so one didn't see them until
right up on them. (And the manure ones would wash away after awhile!)
I also saw a crocodile that wasn't too bad; it was in three thin
parts, so that,viewed from above, the crocodile seems to be swimming
in the grass--very unobtrusive. I have also seen a couple of St.
Francis statues that weren't unappealing; I do think they should have
been in a relatively private portion of the yard, though.
Then there's the "real" art; actual artistic statuary made by actual
creative artists. Unfortunately, out of most people's budgets.
A person doesn't have to be rich, though, to have decent lawn art.
Look at the "primitive" art in history books. Humans seem to have an
inherent desire to "pretty things up", and primitive people--with no
access to dollar stores and their mass-produced lawn art--have made
strikingly beautiful things to liven up their environment. Many
people nowadays seem to think that art is something that only a
special, elite class produces and that the rest of us have to buy.
Maybe if more people would exercise their artistic side--yes, not
everybody has the same amount of artistic sensibilities, but we all
have some--there would be fewer people who think it's a great idea to
stick a plywood cutout of Ma and Pa Kettle in the front yard.
That said, I'd be careful not to say anything bad about lawn gnomes,
if I were you, Robert. Lawn gnomes possess eerie magic--always off on
trips around the world and not showing up in photographs unless it's
in photographs of places where they were not. Ooooh, spooky
stuff...leave 'em alone while you still can...
J Crawford
>
>flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
>socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
>I cringe when I see those things!
>
>out of the movie "Bambi"?
>
>
>Am I the only one?
>Regards, Robert
>
Well, I guess you bigots would shit a brick if you saw my old commode in
the side yard with a bowl full of blooming petunias.
I cringe to think what this world would be like today if people who
believed in their art and bared their soul in artful expression were
influenced by the myopic bigots of the world.
I don't know a damn thing about art but I know what I like....
If I say it's art, then art it is. O K so I'm a little egocentric.
James (with an attitude) from Kentucky
madee
I'm with you James [with an attitude] from Kentucky. I don't have a
commode in the front yard but I may one of these days if I can figger
where to hang the toilet paper.
In Houston we have a house that a man covered all sides and the roof
with flattened beer cans, then he covered his fence with them, then he
started to hang them from his trees. Then he died. We had another
feller who dedicated his life to Oranges. His house was orange, he had
metal work all over the place in the shape of oranges to a degree you
can imagine. He got it all done and then he died. I have some
neighbors who have nothing but wild flowers, wild grasses and wild
shrubs. The civic association [read bigoted doo-doo gooders] is having
a fit. The neighbors haven't died yet.
The first two fellers places are now considered "works of urban art"
and are being maintained by art groups. Strange.
--
Fill what is empty.
Empty what is full.
Scratch where it itches.
Piddipat
i'm afraid i can't afford to buy the lawn ornaments that i see at the
garden shops. i do, however, buy those colorful
sunflowers-with-spinning-petals when they're on sale.
i'll tell you what makes for cheap but subtle lawn ornaments: empty mrs
butterworth (syrup) bottles. i have them throughout my garden, popping up
in the most unexpected places.
piddipat
Karen O'Shea
In article <31CABD...@awod.com>, Greg Shore (gsh...@awod.com) writes:
>Robert Harris Stoertz wrote:>
>> But there is one ornament I am seeing around here that I criticize
>> without apology. These are painted plywood cutouts of the backs of
>> people. Most of them are little boys with their trousers down,
>> appearing to urinate on a lovely bed of flowers or whatever. Others
>> are rural-looking adults, all seeming to be urinating, or about to.
>> The women's skirts are up, exposing bloomers.
>>
>> Am I unusually prude? I find these things fantastically tasteless. I
>> would have attributed it to young rebellious poor taste, except two of
>> the three houses on my street with these vile things belong to elderly
>> couples.
>>
>> Regards, Robert
>
>
>garden. I would rather be attracted to the garden and not to the a man
>urinating on the plants.
>
>The Bambi ornaments aren't bad if they're well hidden.
>
Tackiest garden ornaments! Kiwis will feel right at home!
Currently I have 2 gargoyles, one garden gnome and two clay birds
on poles (oh and a live staffordshire bull terrier).
There is a house not too far from here that has ALL the Disney
characters in their front yard! They are about 2 feet tall. THe
house also looks like a southern mansion and is a VERY expensive
area. They have stone lions on either side of the wrought iron
gates that must be guarding their Dwarves and Snow Whites.
Kiwis will all know about white tyre swans and wooden butterflys
on houses as well. But cut out urinating figures - never seen them.
#######
I'm living in denial
the weather, coffee, and company is perfect.
#######
Ka Fish in Aotearoa (no USDA zone)
MaryLee Knowlton
We have a few months before my least favorite lawn decoration comes up:
October, That's when people gather up their leaaves and put them in
orange garbage bags on their lawns, as if we can't tell the difference
between a bag of garbage and a pumpkin. Of course, in the county where
I was born, people put statues of Mary in a standup bathtub--Mary on the
half shell the non-Catholics call it.
MaryLee Knowlton
Dennis Mathiasen
rsto...@cycor.ca (Robert Harris Stoertz) wrote:
>I'm sure this subject has been hashed over in rec.gardens before, but
>I didn't see it, so here goes.
>I find amazing the things some folks put in their gardens. The pink
>flamingo is a classic ornament now, that makes some sort of
>socio-political statement, or something, but what about those gnomes?!
>I cringe when I see those things!
Robert, how ever can you object to the little cut out girl walking
the dog? Lovely next to the plastic barrels with the red, white,
blue and orange plastic flowers. And such a complete effect when the
wind is blowing enough to turn the wings on the blue jays!
Such a delight to drive by every morning.
Dennis Mathiasen
Zone 4b Central NY
Patricia Schwalm
DTDerekson (dtder...@aol.com) wrote:
: Anyone out there into dressing up cement lawn ornaments? This is somewhat
: of a fad here. One buys, say, a cement goose and puts it in front of the
: house. Then instead of hanging a wreath on the door for different
: holidays, one dresses up the goose with appropriate holiday garb (or
: sports garb, depending....)
Geez...I saw an ad in a rural newspaper for "custom-made goose
clothes". I read it over and over, trying to figure out what
the h*ll they were talking about. Then I started noticing dressed-
up (no, not that way) geese in my own neighborhood. There's no
accounting for taste!
My favorite decor, someone posted right here on rec.gardens, is
using bowling balls as edging. I'm starting my own collection. ;-)
Patty, with a totally tasteful group of cement frogs, playing
different instruments.
Dennis Mathiasen
finn...@netdoor.com (J. & S. Finnegan) wrote:
>That said, I'd be careful not to say anything bad about lawn gnomes,
>if I were you, Robert. Lawn gnomes possess eerie magic--always off on
>trips around the world and not showing up in photographs unless it's
>in photographs of places where they were not. Ooooh, spooky
>stuff...leave 'em alone while you still can...
This is a point well taken. I was quite concerned one day as my
neighbor nearly had a heart attack induced by a norwegian wood elf.
Actually, the elf meant no harm and was merely sitting half under a
fern. She told me later she was quite sure the elf had noded and
smiled. Even although she saw right away that he was stone, she still
knew he'd acknowledged her.
The thing is, I didn't put that elf there; my wife didn't put that elf
there; no one knows why that elf is there. He wasn't there when I
planted the ferns.
Tacky? Not so sure.
Sue Flesch
I remember when I was a kid we always looked for houses that had big
butterflies nailed up beside their front doors. They always looked so
odd. Don't ever see them now, perhaps Kiwis are getting more
tasteful!!
Sue Flesch, Nelson, New Zealand
J. & S. Finnegan
jwint...@ids2.idsonline.com (Janet & John Wintermute) wrote:
>But then it sounds like you don't have to contend with the life-size
>cows! On the way to our country house, we pass many large but not
>ritzy country properties with "herds" of these "cows" in place in the
>middle of the lawn. It's generally one mama cow (very pink udder,
>black-and-white spotted skin) and two calves.
I have not seen these, but I did once pass a house with what appeared
to be a stuffed deer in the front yard. Honest. The yard was
recessed enough that I couldn't be sure, but truly did look like a
whole stuffed deer. I couldn't help wondering what the weather was
going to do to it. Real deer are weatherproof, but I'm not so sure
about their dead skin and hair.
>If I might make a class-based distinction here without getting too
>many flames, it looks to me like plastic and/or plywood gardenware is
>the exclusive provenance of the lower-middle and lower classes. One
>absolutely never sees these alleged decorations on rich people's
>lawns.
I have never seen them on rich people's lawns. Why lower class people
would favor them--not all of us do!--in these days of greater access
to the world at large, I have no idea. You'd think greater exposure
to the rest of the world would breed better taste. Maybe our
collective aesthetic sensibilities have been deadened to the point
that only those wealthy souls who feel they have an image to keep up
notice the difference.
>As a sidenote, in my youth in Indiana the gazing ball on a pedestal
>was commonly seen in front of lower-middle-class houses but seldom at
>estates. The gazing ball seems to be moving *up* in class now.
I like gazing balls. I was unaware until recently that they had once
been a lower-class thing. Not everything espoused by lower-class
people is tacky.
>Perhaps we should count ourselves lucky to be relieved of the presence
>of Negro lawn jockeys. If you're old enough, you probably realized
>that as our national sensitivity on racial issues was raised, the lawn
>jockeys were painted in whiteface. Now they're almost extinct
>regardless of race.
Not extinct enough. In the past couple of years, I have seen one or
two black ones and a white one.
>Not a moment too soon, either. May the plastic
>3-D deer, the plywood cattle, and the bent-over girl cutouts go the
>same way.
Just call me the Convivial Codfish.
J. & S. Finnegan
BLy...@msn.com (Bettye Spatafora) wrote:
Why you awful, elitist thing, you! How dare you have refined
tastes--it's not very democratic of you not to conform to the lowest
common denominator. Guess we'll have to put you in the Conformity Hut
until you feel better. :-)
George Shirley
I'm somewhat fond of the auto/truck/tractor tires turned inside out, cut
into a pinking shear edge, painted white and turned into a planter. In
the older part of town someone has some old hard hats (safety helmets) as
hanging baskets, and another person has what looks like packard front
fenders as hanging baskets. One old gentleman, now deceased, made very
large whiligigs in the shape of jet fighter planes, helicopters (Cobra
gunships no less), and several other marks of fighter aircraft. I mean
8-10 feet long with propellors on them that turned in the wind. Ever
seen an F-100 with a prop? I love this stuff in its original form. What
we call tacky other folks call folk art and pay big bucks for it.
George in SW Louisiana contemplating a pair of pink flamingoes with
whirling wings ( I know my wife won't let me put them out front)
Robert Harris Stoertz
weed <avril_...@berlex.com> wrote:
>Hey, Robert, watch it! I am the model for that large, bent over, female
>backside cutout, although in pants, not a dress and bloomers. You might
>not have recognized me because they didn't get the hips big enough or
>the pants dirty enough. My neighbors had one, but they got rid of it, I
>think after realizing that they could watch the real thing every weekend
>in the field between our houses. <weed>
Ha ha!
And I am the model for that lanky guy beside her sitting on the fence
(no urinating in the front yard for me, thanks) in the coveralls and
the straw hat. But they didn't make him tall enough.
Regards, Robert
Robert Harris Stoertz
>flamingos seem to be on the decline...
Surely not the Pink Flamingo?! That is a cultural icon!
>But then it sounds like you don't have to contend with the life-size
>cows! On the way to our country house, we pass many large but not
>ritzy country properties with "herds" of these "cows" in place in the
>middle of the lawn. It's generally one mama cow (very pink udder,
>black-and-white spotted skin) and two calves.
How about some cutout cowpies to go with them? (Or is it meadow
muffins?)
>...
>Perhaps we should count ourselves lucky to be relieved of the presence
>of Negro lawn jockeys. If you're old enough, you probably realized
>that as our national sensitivity on racial issues was raised, the lawn
>jockeys were painted in whiteface. Now they're almost extinct
>regardless of race....
Not around here, they're not! There are probably at least a dozen
within a mile or two of me. All shades, though.
This whole thing has me wondering. Back in the States, the term Middle
America was used, though I never figured out precisely who or what it
was. I wonder if there is a Middle Canada, and if I am right in the
heart of that, here in Peterborough, Ontario? After all, I have heard
about Upper Canada and Lower Canada, so why not Middle?
Regards, Robert
Linda S. Knott
Don't worry--I think most of us would think that the small,
terra cotta figures tucked away amongst our flora are charming
and in good taste. I'm amused at your attempts to *hide* your
large, white bunnies, however. I, too, cringe whenever I pass a yard
that has a significant collection of plastic critters. To each
his own?
Susie
Susan Sanders
In article <4qkoqa$d...@guyana.it.earthlink.net> MaryLee Knowlton,
deep...@earthlink.net writes:
>between a bag of garbage and a pumpkin. Of course, in the county where
>I was born, people put statues of Mary in a standup bathtub--Mary on the
>half shell the non-Catholics call it.
Mmm, you weren't born in the US, were you? No, probably not; here
they're usually called Our Lady of the Bathtub. Don't see them around as
much these days, but about 20 years ago they were pretty common.
Robert Harris Stoertz
finn...@netdoor.com (J. & S. Finnegan) wrote:
>BLy...@msn.com (Bettye Spatafora) wrote:
>>... down with wooden ladies in red and white polka dot
>>dresses bending over their flowers and revealing their "bloomers"!
>Why you awful, elitist thing, you! How dare you have refined
>tastes--it's not very democratic of you not to conform to the lowest
>common denominator. Guess we'll have to put you in the Conformity Hut
>until you feel better. :-)
No, not The Conformity Hut!!!!!
Not that awful place furnished only with plastic resin ornaments and
plywood cutouts!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhrrgghhh!!!!!!!!
Robert Harris Stoertz
vas...@theshop.net (Vashti) wrote:
>...
>I must admit that I HAVE to have ST. Francis in my garden, or I feel
Oops! There's another one. Yes, I too have a St. Francis. He's frosted
glass (looks lovely in the rain), about 15" high, and moves about the
garden, keeping watch where needed. When a frog took up residency in
seed tray full of standing water, I put St. Francis there to "look
after" it. And he looks great among the terra cota pots, or in amongst
the herbs.
Regards, Robert
Karen Murphy
J Crawford <cab...@one.net> wrote:
<snip>
>Well, I guess you bigots would shit a brick if you saw my old commode in
>the side yard with a bowl full of blooming petunias.
>I cringe to think what this world would be like today if people who
>believed in their art and bared their soul in artful expression were
>influenced by the myopic bigots of the world.
>I don't know a damn thing about art but I know what I like....
>If I say it's art, then art it is. O K so I'm a little egocentric.
>James (with an attitude) from Kentucky
>
>
gent in a small town hereabouts that lived in the 'historic' district. They not only have rules about what color you can paint you=
r house, they have lists of which flowers you can plant and even what color your Christmas lights can be. So he painted his house i=
n the proscribed colors: black and white...black and white stripes. His neighbors raised a fuss, so he repainted his house in paste=
l polkadots. The neighbors complained about the eyesore, so he repainted the house in camouflage. Last I heard, he was getting don=
ated paint and redoing the house every few months.
I think the worst lawn ornaments show up a Christmas though. There are streets around here that compete for tackiest light show, th=
en don't take down most of the d*mn things once the season is over. It's hard to appreciate lawn ornaments when there are more of t=
hem than the lawn.
Karen
MCDevinney
>Anyone out there into dressing up cement lawn >ornaments? This is
somewhat
>of a fad here. One buys, say, a cement goose and puts it in >front of the
>house. Then instead of hanging a wreath on the door for >different
>holidays, one dresses up the goose with appropriate >holiday garb (or
>sports garb, depending....)
"dressed" for the holidays, it was wearing a wedding dress for the
occassion!
Chrissie
William Demmery
Robert Harris Stoertz (rsto...@cycor.ca) writes:
> This whole thing has me wondering. Back in the States, the term Middle
> America was used, though I never figured out precisely who or what it
> was. I wonder if there is a Middle Canada, and if I am right in the
> heart of that, here in Peterborough, Ontario? After all, I have heard
> about Upper Canada and Lower Canada, so why not Middle?
> Regards, Robert
Consider yourself to be in "Central Canada." Seems to be what they call
anything west of New Brunswick (which is in "Atlantic Canada") and east
of Manitoba ("Western Canada") and south of the Territories. :)
-WCD-
------------------------------------------------------------
William C. Demmery ag...@freenet.carleton.ca
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada wdem...@entrenet.com
***Visit my astro website at http://www.entrenet.com/mizar/
Karyn Davis
> BLy...@msn.com (Bettye Spatafora) writes:
> No, Robert, you are not the only one! Without seeming to be a snob, I
> can honestly say that I think the majority of people in this world,
> are tacky! Not to say there are not wonderful, smart, kind, generous,
> loving people out there, but in general, the taste of the general
> public leaves something to be desired. I'm sure I'm going to get a
> lot of hateful responses to this post, but I think I'm entitled to my
>
>>>>
seem to be a snob! What is tasteless to some people is pretty
amusing to others. However, you ARE entitled to your opinion.
Here's mine:
Just thinking about somebody sitting around coming up with some of these
"tacky" lawn ornaments is enough to crack me up! And the enjoyment I get
out of seeing someone's lawn filled with these things! There is a house in my
town with life-sized cement cows, pigs, a great dane, etc. that I love to drive by,
just to see what's new. It turns out the house belongs to the father
of one of my friends. And when I met my in-laws for the first time, I was
nervous until I saw a couple of "yard butts" near their tomato patch. This
to me indicated they had a sense of humor, and they do! And NOBODY can
accuse them of tastelessness, or of being lower-class or living in a bad
neighborhood (as mentioned in another non-snobby post). It's just
whimsy, folks. You know, humor. : )
Sheesh. Next thing you know, certain PLANTS will be accused of being
tasteless, and when I find out which ones they are, I'm gonna be first in
line to get some (unless I already have them, and just don't know).
Please lighten up and try to enjoy!
Karyn (I realize this will classify me as "tasteless" to some people, but I'm used to it!) Davis
Susan Sanders
In article <4qmke3$h...@zeus.crosslink.net> Karyn Davis, kda...@itscrc.com
writes:
>Sheesh. Next thing you know, certain PLANTS will be accused of being
>tasteless, and when I find out which ones they are, I'm gonna be first in
>line to get some (unless I already have them, and just don't know).
>
>Please lighten up and try to enjoy!
>
>Karyn (I realize this will classify me as "tasteless" to some people, but I'm >used to it!) Davis
Well, you've just shown your "tasteless"ness by not knowing that there
are you can get hort-snob merits or demerits based on what you grow--and
this ain't anything new. Plants go in and out of horticultural fashion
just like fashion designs. You just have to be "in" enough to know about
it.
Dennis Mathiasen
>to be a stuffed deer in the front yard. Honest. The yard was
>recessed enough that I couldn't be sure, but truly did look like a
>whole stuffed deer. I couldn't help wondering what the weather was
>going to do to it. Real deer are weatherproof, but I'm not so sure
>about their dead skin and hair.
Hey, wait a minute! In your area don't you see concrete lawn deer?
Abundant around here. Often they are life size and carefully painted
to be as realistic as possible. Of course the perennials planted
around them to eliminate trimming are always a dead give away. At
Christmass a large red lightbulb appears on the noses. Lovely.
Peter Marvit
[[ Two personal follow-ups to the ornament thread ]]
Although I have often wished for a flock of pink flamingos for my
non-existant front yard (though they would be stolen before dawn), I had
staunchly resisted ornaments in the gardens. The minor concession (until
recently) was a large concrete urn left by the previous owners which I
dragged to the front of of our urban row house (too heavy to steal, unlike
its occasional floral content, alas).
However, I did add a small stone "lantern" discretely placed in the middle
of my Japanese-style garden in the back. All well and good. However, on a
foray for plants, my partner spied a stone Buddha with lotus base. Almost
a meter high, the likeness was quite classic. I protested, but was most
concerned about the color of the stature -- deep red. Discretion and valor
being what they are, the Red Buddha came home with us (to the delight of
my partner, of course). Sitting against the back fence, surrounded by
ostrich ferns and hostas, I now look rather fondly on this non-living
addition. The best part was when my 2 year old-daughter went to the
sitting figure and commanded "Up, Buddha. Up, up!" The ruddy hue actually
harmonized well with my Garnet Weeping Japanese Maple, the new growth on
the pieris, and the tri-colored locethoe (sp?) leaves. Tacky? I'll leave
that for someone else.
On a different note, one of my favorite houses/gardens in Honolulu (where
my father lives) has more garden elements per square inch than most
tchatchke stores. A sparse array of flowers are outcompeted by toy trucks,
gnomes of all sizes and uglitude, china dogs, bloomer cutouts (yes!), Xmas
Santas, and even several variety of flamingos. If a small handfull of
ornaments is tack, this is high drama!
-Peter "maybe penguins?" Marvit
--
: Peter Marvit <mar...@psych.upenn.edu>, Psychology Dept, Univ. of Penn :
: 3815 Walnut St., Philadelphia, PA 19104 w:215/573-3991 fax:215/898-7301 :
Pliny A Smith
In article <4qiab4$1...@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, dtder...@aol.com
(DTDerekson) wrote:
> Anyone out there into dressing up cement lawn ornaments? This is somewhat
> of a fad here. One buys, say, a cement goose and puts it in front of the
> house. Then instead of hanging a wreath on the door for different
> holidays, one dresses up the goose with appropriate holiday garb (or
> sports garb, depending....)
>
> Actually, I kinda enjoy watching to see what folks will think of next for
> their cement buddies to wear. But I don't have one. My plastic hummingbird
> spinner would get envious.... ;-)
I know a lady who makes those cement gooses and the clothes for them and
sells them. She has one in her work place now. I dont know if she has
one in her garden My husband and I used cement to keep our trellis from
blowing over. We made cement snowmen out of the leftover cement, but
usually they are hidden behind the flowers in the flowerbed.
Ruth
nancy
mo...@usa.pipeline.com() wrote:
>On Jun 22, 1996 01:02:27 in article <Re: Tacky Garden Ornaments>,
>'she...@netvoyage.net (Paula Sherrin)' wrote:
>
>
>>The most aweful garden ornament I've ever seen was a large ceramic frog
>>with a motion sensor in it's mouth. Anything that passed by would set
>>off a chorus of rhibits. Scared my toddler half to death!
>
>Where can you get one?! We think it might help with the cat-thing.
They now are even tackier in bright green plastic at Ace Hardware! And they are loud - scared me, too!
Nancy
Pliny A Smith
My in-laws bought my husband a wooden cat that is holding a piece of
hose. You hook your garden hose up to the hose the cat is holding and
turn it on. The cats arm is jointed and held together by rings so that
the water pressure causes his arm to flail about madly as he sparays water
all over the yard. It is really a hoot to see in action, the only problem
is that the pressure of the water causes ground damage as it gets aimed
downward. Not exactly a garden ornament , at least not in our yard.
Ruth
Robert Harris Stoertz
Karyn Davis <kda...@itscrc.com> wrote:
>...Please lighten up and try to enjoy!
I assure you, even though they are not to my taste, I do find these
things somewhat entertaining (though NOT the urinating cutouts). I
used to live near someone who had decorated their front yard to
extraordinary lengths with kitsch, junk, and art. I wouldn't want to
live adjacent, but my wife and I always slowed when passing, just to
gawk.
But really, it sounds like most or many of us have SOME little thing
tucked into the garden somewhere that others would find tacky. We
humans are like magpies, attracted to curious little things that serve
no real purpose. Perhaps that is the underlying reason behind the
garden gnomes, et al.
But the urinating figures? I am not prone to crime, but those
"ornaments" make me want to do the neighbourhood a favour.
Regards, Robert
nancy
Natasha
MaryLee Knowlton <deep...@earthlink.net> attacked the keyboard,
typing:
:-)We have a few months before my least favorite lawn decoration comes
up:
:-)October, That's when people gather up their leaaves and put them
in
:-)orange garbage bags on their lawns, as if we can't tell the
difference
:-)between a bag of garbage and a pumpkin. Of course, in the county
where
:-)I was born, people put statues of Mary in a standup bathtub--Mary
on the
:-)half shell the non-Catholics call it.
Bathtub Shrines, we call 'em.
Regards,
Natasha
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Visit Moonstruck Meadows' new web page...
still under construction, but getting there!
http://www.angelfire.com/pg0/moonstruck/index.html
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Vita, sine literis, mors est!
Angeline Kantola
In article <4qjn4l$o...@axe.netdoor.com>,
J. & S. Finnegan <finn...@netdoor.com> wrote:
>A person doesn't have to be rich, though, to have decent lawn art...
> Many
>people nowadays seem to think that art is something that only a
>special, elite class produces and that the rest of us have to buy.
>Maybe if more people would exercise their artistic side--yes, not
>everybody has the same amount of artistic sensibilities, but we all
>have some--there would be fewer people who think it's a great idea to
>stick a plywood cutout of Ma and Pa Kettle in the front yard.
All I can say is: right on!
I've been an amateur potter for, gosh, seven years now, and some of my
creations have turned up in my garden. My veggie garden, in a community
garden plot, is soon to be accented by a fertility charm featuring an
ancient Greek invocation of abundance (we need to take desperate measures
to get tomatoes here in Seattle!) I've got a set of halfcircular hanging
planters in the backyard, and a couple of plans for installations on the
new fence that went up last summer. I think I"m on my third attempt to
make The Ideal Japanese-Style Garden Lantern (none of them have made it
all the way to the finished state yet); at least I'm enjoying the ride.
This is not high art, to be sure, but it looks good, and I love them even
with all their imperfections, which I know well.
It's worth mentioning that creativity doesn't mean handmade, or expensive!
I've built a tiny sanctuary of sorts in my backyard, out of a niche
that's created between a stand of bamboo and a small tree right next to
the house. A string of gold star garland interleaved in the branches,
a small representation of the Green Man (a leafy humanoid representation
of the spirit of the forest; he's been pretty popular in garden statuary
around here lately), a small and tasteful table cobbled together from
recycled material. Voila! A quiet and peaceful place to sit and meditate
when I need to get away from it all...and it even shelters me from the
rain.
Get out there! Have fun! Be creative!
Angie "shopping for a concrete hedgehog" Kantola
nancy
Karen O'Shea
I just bought a friend a BIG purple butterfly as a new house
present. She loves it. It was plastic as well which made the tack
factor even higher. There is a place that still makes the wooden
ones. If I ever get my own place I intend to have one (living in
Auckland - I'll have to win lotto first). My mother, a British
immigrant, still sees those wooden butterflies as the height of Kiwi
(Lynn of Tawa) grossness. This is the woman who puts plastic lemons
on her lemon tree to encourage the plant!!!
#######
I'm living in denial
the weather, coffee, and company is perfect.
#######
Ka Fish in Aotearoa (no USDA zone)
nancy
Sorry about the multiple postings. My computer is lying to me.
Saying it's not sending when obviously it is!
I don't know if this qualifies as a "garden" ornament, but
what I really hate are those giant, mutant butterflies
that attack houses in groups of 3! I like little touches
in a garden - sometimes even whimsical - but I think they
should be pleasant little surprises - not the attraction
itself - and NOT 500 times the natural size!
I *love* this thread. It's made me laugh out loud more
than once!
Martha Clouse
Hey, George, at last you have come up with some garden techniques that my
husband can get into! He designs jet engines for General Electric but is
generally garden challenged! Off we go, into the wild green yonder....
Martha from MA
-
MARTHA CLOUSE ULZ...@prodigy.com
"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
ear
here in north central ohio the stupidest lawn thing is
cement geese with clothing outfits on. like a yellow rain
slicker + hat or patriotic outfit
i cant belive people buy cloths for a goose..
G Thurman Harden
On the weSharon Hepburn wrote:
>
> re: pink flamingoes in my back yard so nobody sees....IMHO
> whatever you do in your backyard is your business anyway<VBG>
> It's just those things people put out for the rest of us to see.
> Actually I think flamingoes go nicely with glads
> sharon
> --
On the west side of Austin, Texas is a rather upscale neighborhood. A
local garden shop on the loop was selling not only the pink flamingoes
but others painted in black and white patterns similar to cows.
Enough were purchased and displayed in the lawns of these expensive homes
that a group tried to have them outlawed from the area. That brought out
the "right to lifers for plastic flamingos". They have gotten the plastic
flamingo classified as an endangered species; therefore there are no
governing laws.
--
Ignorance is not knowing, knowing you don't know, and caring.
Ignorance can be cured.
Stupidity is not knowing, not knowing you don't know, and not caring.
Only death cures stupidity.
Ruth Evans
There are a few houses in the next town that have cut out zebras...although
most of them are tacked to the garage door. Don't ask me why!
Ruth
__ ___ __
__ ////\ /\/\ /\/ _//\ __ /// | Posted by Ruth Evans - rev...@ccubb.com|
\\\//// '\/ \/ / /\/ '\\\\/// | Princess: Cutest Wiggle Tail Ever! |
\xx/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\__/\/\/ \xx/ | Anne McCaffrey: Master Word Crafter |
Teachout-Teashon
Janet Wintermute wrote:
As a sidenote, in my youth in Indiana the gazing ball on
a pedestal was commonly seen in front of
owner-middle-class houses but seldom at
estates. The gazing ball seems to be moving *up* in
class now.
*****************************************
The gazing ball is something I can't get use to. To
metallic looking for my cottage style garden. So I have
a ball carved from alabaster (green and white almost
looks like marble) instead and it sits on driftwood
stump, along with a terra cotta pot full of sedum. I also
have two solid brass quails bought at a flea market for
$2 and are slowly turning green tucked in with some
sedum on the ground. One other ornament I have is a
rusty metal heron I bought from an artist. That is
about the extent of my ornaments and don't know if that
is considered tacky or not. I like to think of it as art. :)
We have a few of the bloomers and peeing ornaments in
yards around town and I often wonder if it's a joke or is
this serious ?
******************************************
Debra Teachout-Teashon
teac...@premier1.net
http://www.premier1.net/~teachout/debra.html
Washington state
USDA zone 8, Sunset zone 5
******************************************
David Webber
On Jun 21, 1996 18:34:21 in article <Re: Tacky Garden Ornaments>,
'dkac...@soils.umn.edu (Donald Kackman)' wrote:
<snip>
>I just want to know in what sort of screwed up David Lynch dystopia to
these
>people live in that they would want to have plastic squirrels (and cats
and
>birds as well) in thier trees?
Love squirrels and birds ... plastic CATS would be an improvement.
Lee Cudlip
Sue Flesch writes:
> I remember when I was a kid we always looked for houses that had big
> butterflies nailed up beside their front doors. They always looked so
> odd. Don't ever see them now, perhaps Kiwis are getting more
> tasteful!!
>
> Sue Flesch, Nelson, New Zealand
I think they've migrated to Canada.
Lee
North of TO.
madee
J. & S. Finnegan wrote:
>
> BLy...@msn.com (Bettye Spatafora) wrote:
>
> >No, Robert, you are not the only one! Without seeming to be a snob, I
> >can honestly say that I think the majority of people in this world,
> >are tacky! Not to say there are not wonderful, smart, kind, generous,
> >loving people out there, but in general, the taste of the general
> >public leaves something to be desired. I'm sure I'm going to get a
> >lot of hateful responses to this post, but I think I'm entitled to my
> >opinion. So, down with wooden ladies in red and white polka dot
> >dresses bending over their flowers and revealing their "bloomers"!
>
> tastes--it's not very democratic of you not to conform to the lowest
> common denominator. Guess we'll have to put you in the Conformity Hut
> until you feel better. :-)
I thought it was the NON Conformity Hut; at least that is what the
told me when I came in here. Maybe I should ask to be transferred.
--
Fill what is empty.
Empty what is full.
Scratch where it itches.
John*&*Sharon Eilts
I find the use of bathroom fixtures to be a little over the top. When I see
petunias in toilets and marigolds in urinals, I don't know. It almost as bad
as that dead dishwasher on the front porch.
Rich Adams
Susan Sanders (ssan...@umich.edu) wrote:
: In article <4qmke3$h...@zeus.crosslink.net> Karyn Davis, kda...@itscrc.com
: writes:
: >Sheesh. Next thing you know, certain PLANTS will be accused of being
: >tasteless, and when I find out which ones they are, I'm gonna be first in
: >line to get some (unless I already have them, and just don't know).
: >
: >
: >Karyn (I realize this will classify me as "tasteless" to some people, but I'm >used to it!) Davis
:
: Well, you've just shown your "tasteless"ness by not knowing that there
: are you can get hort-snob merits or demerits based on what you grow--and
: this ain't anything new. Plants go in and out of horticultural fashion
: just like fashion designs. You just have to be "in" enough to know about
: it.
All I know is what is _in_ with me :-)
In the spring it's a yard full of yellow dandelions, soon followed by
a zillion violets, apple an cherry blossoms shortly followed by white
petals in the yard and covering the driveway like a thin blanket of
snow, and then maple helicopters all over the place!
Just call me low-brow and pass me a beer |)
--
~ Rich Adams [DNRC] Women move in strange and mysterious ways.
~ ri...@alpha.delta.edu I can never find any of my stuff after
~ sp...@genie.geis.com they have moved it.
Robert Harris Stoertz
mar...@cattell.psych.upenn.edu (Peter Marvit) wrote:
>...
>On a different note, one of my favorite houses/gardens in Honolulu (where
>my father lives) has more garden elements per square inch than most
>tchatchke stores. A sparse array of flowers are outcompeted by toy trucks,
>gnomes of all sizes and uglitude, china dogs, bloomer cutouts (yes!), Xmas
>Santas, and even several variety of flamingos. If a small handfull of
>ornaments is tack, this is high drama!
Okay, I'll bite. What is "tchatchke"? It sounds similar to "kitsch",
which Webster's 3rd International defines as:
(from German kitsch - to slap together a work of art; from German
dialectic - to scrape up mud from the street)
artistic or literary material held to be of low quality, often
produced to appeal to popular taste, and marked especially by
sentimentalism, sensationalism, and slickness.
Some words you have to love!
Regards, Robert
sheila trask
> But then it sounds like you don't have to contend with the life-size
> cows! On the way to our country house, we pass many large but not
> ritzy country properties with "herds" of these "cows" in place in the
> middle of the lawn. It's generally one mama cow (very pink udder,
> black-and-white spotted skin) and two calves.
>
Near our house, there is a life-size, chain-saw carved, wooden MOOSE. He's
quite a sight. If I was going to have a lawn ornament, it would be this
variety, just for the humor factor!
Sheila
Nancy Dooley
In article <2...@oshea.ak.planet.gen.nz> Ka...@oshea.ak.planet.gen.nz (Karen O'Shea) writes:
>From: Ka...@oshea.ak.planet.gen.nz (Karen O'Shea)
>Date: Mon, 24 Jun 1996 21:13:42 GMT
>Subject: Re: Tacky Garden Ornaments JOY OH JOY
>(Lynn of Tawa) grossness. This is the woman who puts plastic lemons
>on her lemon tree to encourage the plant!!!
Does it work?
Nancy Dooley
"Celebrate our State." Iowa's Sesquicentennial year, 1846-1996.
M. B. Ober
Our Lady of the Bathtub, I like it. They are still all over the Philadelphia
area, even if they've faded in your region. We called them lawn virgins.
Maggie
E. McCullough
There have been several references to the garden gazer (witch's ball), but
no one has mentioned the challenges faced by the happy owner of one.
Really careful placement is needed. It mustn't reflect the exceedingly
boring house. It mustn't attract the attention of casual vandals. It has
to have something soft to land on should, horrors of horrors, a mightly
wind come up.
Timing is all with gazer placement. Can't be before the grass surrounding
the compost is up high enough to hide it. Leaves on the shrubs have to be
out fully, so that passing motorists aren't blinded from sun reflections.
There are many responsibilities to being a gazer person. :)
Liz
Nepean ON
--
E. McCullough - ac...@freenet.carleton.ca
MCDevinney
Sheila you wrote:
>Near our house, there is a life-size, chain-saw carved, >wooden MOOSE.
He's quite a sight. If I was going to have >a lawn ornament, it would be
this variety, just for the >humor factor!
I love it - any idea where the owner got it (or if he/she'd make one to
sell?) It would look great in our field - afterall we are about the only
field around here without live cows (dairy farms). I think the neighbor
cows would like a friend:)
Chrissie
Rich Adams
Robert Harris Stoertz (rsto...@cycor.ca) wrote:
: Karyn Davis <kda...@itscrc.com> wrote:
: >...Please lighten up and try to enjoy!
:
: I assure you, even though they are not to my taste, I do find these
: things somewhat entertaining (though NOT the urinating cutouts). I
: used to live near someone who had decorated their front yard to
: extraordinary lengths with kitsch, junk, and art. I wouldn't want to
: live adjacent, but my wife and I always slowed when passing, just to
: gawk.
:
: But really, it sounds like most or many of us have SOME little thing
: tucked into the garden somewhere that others would find tacky. We
: humans are like magpies, attracted to curious little things that serve
: no real purpose. Perhaps that is the underlying reason behind the
: garden gnomes, et al.
:
: But the urinating figures? I am not prone to crime, but those
: "ornaments" make me want to do the neighbourhood a favour.
Maybe they're homesick belgians and want a Manniken Piz (sp?) in their
yard to remind them of Bruxelles. :)
Neil McLaughlin
For the past five years on our family weekend retreat to our friends
house in Matole. We pass this house with an over grown yard. There on the
outside of the picket fence are three 3ft. dolls, that are tied to this
womans fence. I recall them being dressed in clothes and hats, but now
they're simply rags and it looks SPOOKY!
:)
J. Bergstrom
Vashti wrote:
>
> rev...@ccubb.com (Ruth Evans) wrote:
>
> >I admit to having a cement hedgehog ornament in my backyard.
> >I've seen some cute little sparrows in another catalog I wouldn't mind
> >nestling in another spot. I saw a cute puppy in a recent catalog I got, but I
> >want that for INSIDE the house! However, I have told my brother he must take
> >me out and shoot me if he sees me putting out hose plastic geese (or plastic
> >anythings for that matter!) or the folks bending over and showing the world
> >their drawers.
>
> The cutest thing I have seen lately is a set of steps that look like
> an alligator swimming in the yard. They are actually "stepping stones"
> the head peeping out, then the back and then the tail.
>
> I must admit that I HAVE to have ST. Francis in my garden, or I feel
> weird. I also have a small weather-beaten wood sign on my rain barrel
> that says "wishful thinkin" ...since we are suffering a drought here.
Hi all -
We've got a 12" high Queen of Hearts warning our herbs that soon it
will be "Off with their heads!"
Jerice in Vermont
Lisa Q. Watson
My mother has the ceramic gnomes ...but I always thought they were kinda
tasteful... I dunno..bias for mom I guess:>
As for the other ornaments...I hate plastic for figurines but can stand
stone. For some reason we also have a stone mushroom that my mother is
fond of, as well as a lil brown frog.
I dunno why I just babbled to you about my lawn ornaments but oh well:P
-LQ
--
"I don't say we all ought to misbehave,{ "Character is what you are in the
but we ought to look as if we could." { dark."
- Orson Welles { -Dwight Moody
**************************************LQW*************************************
scott haney
>
> Anyone out there into dressing up cement lawn ornaments? This is
> somewhat
> of a fad here.
Here in Cedar Rapids (the City of Five Smells), we have someone with
a large (life-sized) concrete pig in the front yard. We don't know
why.
There is, however, a group in town dedicated to decorating the pig.
Yes, a group. I don't think the owner has a lot to do with it other
than granting permission. Some of the ideas are more than a little
inane, but a few are actually quite clever. It all depends.
If it were the owner all the time, I'd probably hate it.
--
Scott Haney sco...@olivia.cedar-rapids.ia.us
rha...@cacd.rockwell.com
Mr & Mrs Swillmaster & Son
George Shirley wrote:
>
> I'm somewhat fond of the auto/truck/tractor tires turned inside out, cut
> into a pinking shear edge, painted white and turned into a planter. In
> the older part of town someone has some old hard hats (safety helmets) as
> hanging baskets, and another person has what looks like packard front
> fenders as hanging baskets. One old gentleman, now deceased, made very
> large whiligigs in the shape of jet fighter planes, helicopters (Cobra
> gunships no less), and several other marks of fighter aircraft. I mean
> 8-10 feet long with propellors on them that turned in the wind. Ever
> seen an F-100 with a prop? I love this stuff in its original form. What
> we call tacky other folks call folk art and pay big bucks for it.
>
> George in SW Louisiana contemplating a pair of pink flamingoes with
> whirling wings ( I know my wife won't let me put them out front)
In the tacky as art dept, the Wash. Post, no less, recently featured in
its Home and Garden section, a special on the use of plastic flamingoes.
One that I fancied had flamingoes half buried, gradually emerging from
the ground, and forming a line up a tree, where several roosted. I was
moved to do same, until I counted that it took at least 40 flamingoes
to achieve this effect, and figured the cost. Sarah in Va., whose
neighbor grows the best iris in town in a tractor tire.
Stephanie Malone Thorson
I was actually glad to see a tacky lawn ornament. A friend of mine and I
were on our way to visit her mother just before Christmas, driving through
one of the most tastefully decorated housing developments I've ever seen -
lots of evergreen wreaths with burgundy velvet bows and little white
candles in windows. Just when we thought we could take no more, we came
around a corner and spotted a beacon of tastelessness in an otherwise
well-manicured setting: two brilliant pink lawn flamingos with large red
and green bows tied around their necks. The effect was startling, to say
the least.
--Stephanie
*****************************************************************************
Stephanie M. Thorson * SCA: Lady Alianora Munro
University of St Andrews *
St Andrews, Scotland * Clan White Wing
email sm...@st-andrews.ac.uk * Tarkhan, Khanate Red Lion
*****************************************************************************
Robert Dickow
>Don't worry--I think most of us would think that the small,
>terra cotta figures tucked away amongst our flora are charming
>and in good taste. I'm amused at your attempts to *hide* your
>large, white bunnies, however. I, too, cringe whenever I pass a yard
><snip>
One day I spotted about 25 pink flamingo statues on a neighbor's lawn. A
day later they disappeared. I found out later that it was some kind of fund
raiser: A friend recommends your name to the campaigners, who
surreptitiously place the flamingos on your lawn. You have to make a donation
before they'll come take them away. Kinda cute. Anybody hear of things like
this in their communities?
***********************************************//*
* Bob Dickow (dic...@uidaho.edu) \\// *
* Associate Professor of Horn/Theory/Composition *
* Lionel Hampton School of Music/Univ of Idaho *
* URL: http://www.uidaho.edu/~dickow/ *
**************************************************
Sharon Hepburn
"that cement geese can wear forever" Better make sure you
pre-shrink the fabric before you make an outfit for your
favorite cement goose, or it'll shrink in the rain (the outfit,
not the goose) <vbg>
sharon
--
Karyn Davis
> jo...@ix.netcom.com(Jody Sorensen) wrote:
>
> > She went to WalMart and bought a huge, tacky,
> >painted-white, resin rabbit. <snip> Not
> >wanting to hurt her feelings I had to find a place for it.
>
> >> How about a foot and a half green alligator made out of crushed
> shells with a big red rose in his mouth?
> A gift from the family when I asked them to bring me back a "nice"
> ornament for my garden when they were on vacation.
> Not exactly what I had in mind :-)
> Oh well ,it makes me smile everytime I look at it.
> It's the thought that counts.
>
> Laura
>
>
>
>
>>>>
I'd like to start the bidding on that alligator...... : )
Where did they go on vacation? (Don't say Virginia)
Karyn (because I think I might need one of these alligators)
last name: Anthony
>
> I believe we are seeing a trend:
>
> Lawn ornaments are tacky.
>
> Garden ornaments are elegant (or cute, or at least tolerable -- <snip>
As I follow this thread, I keep thinking how I have a secret longing for
a fountain with a statue of a little boy peeing, but would never dream
of having a plywood boy doing the same in my front yard! It's all in the
context.
SB Anthony
Karyn Davis
> My in-laws bought my husband a wooden cat that is holding a piece of
> hose. You hook your garden hose up to the hose the cat is holding and
> turn it on. The cats arm is jointed and held together by rings so that
> the water pressure causes his arm to flail about madly as he sparays water
> all over the yard. It is really a hoot to see in action, the only problem
> is that the pressure of the water causes ground damage as it gets aimed
> downward. Not exactly a garden ornament , at least not in our yard.
> Ruth
>
>>>>
I love it. This is NOT what I picture when I think of Missouri! Why can't
we have stuff like this in VA? I'll have to keep looking.......
Karyn
David Jensen
AFIAK, the most famous little boy peeing statue is in downtown Brussels,
Belgium, where "Mannequin Pis" (sp?) draws the crowds. Postcards of him
can be found in all the shops that cater to tourists. Taste is in the eye
of the beholder.
Sheila Craig
brass headboard and footboard! (And in the winter it'll get a "blanket"
of snow too!
:-)
- Sheila Craig
E. McCullough
Having reported a couple of days ago on the responsibilities of garden
gazer owners, I need to add a new one.
Today a song sparrow is attacking his own reflection. So far the only
damage has been droppings! It's really fun to watch this little thing
balanced on the curved top. :)
Katherine Murphy
> >a fountain with a statue of a little boy peeing, but would never dream
> >of having a plywood boy doing the same in my front yard! It's all in the
> >context.
> >SB Anthony
>
> AFIAK, the most famous little boy peeing statue is in downtown Brussels,
> Belgium, where "Mannequin Pis" (sp?) draws the crowds. Postcards of him
> can be found in all the shops that cater to tourists. Taste is in the eye
> of the beholder.
--
just a fyi: the little boy peeing statue is in reference to a famous
little boy in europe who, during WWI did just that onto a lit bomb and
defused it, saving the town. as far as lawn ornaments, imho, the tackier
the better, and more garish is more entertaining, and zanier = funnier...
have some fun with life, spontenaity and humor.
Susan Sanders
dic...@uidaho.edu writes:
> One day I spotted about 25 pink flamingo statues on a neighbor's lawn. A
>day later they disappeared. I found out later that it was some kind of fund
>raiser: A friend recommends your name to the campaigners, who
>surreptitiously place the flamingos on your lawn. You have to make a donation
>before they'll come take them away. Kinda cute. Anybody hear of things like
>this in their communities?
No, thank goodness. If it happened to me, I'd gather them all up and
throw them away. It's one thing to be asked for a donation, and
something else entirely to be coerced into it.
Jon LaBadie
Two of our friends lived on 12 acres. One loved elephants, the
other penguins. Even named their property "Elpen"!
Buying gifts for them was always easy. Find any elephant or
penguin figure or drawing. And if it was a garden statue,
so much the better.
They moved to an apartment. I wonder if the garden statuary,
widely dispersed in the garden and woods is still there?
jon
--
Jon H. LaBadie j...@jgcomp.com
JG Computing j...@jgcomp.jvnc.net
4455 Province Line Road (609) 252-0159
Princeton, NJ 08540-4322 (609) 683-7220 (fax)
Gery & Sue Swiggum
When we were in Australia last Fall, (Spring there) we visited a
friend of my sister and brother-in-law. On their property, they had
several young fruit trees. The birds loved the immature fruit, so they
had hung the foil bladders from Wine Casks(Chateau cardboard).
The trees were festooned with several of these bladders each, all
blown up, like balloons. I asked them how successful this was, and
they said that it seemed to work, but they weren't sure it was from
the deterrent,or, because the birds took pity on them for having to
drink such cheap Wine!
Sue
Pete Michaelis - N8ATR
are displayed in Illinois. They are widely
regarded as an Ohio peculiarity. One goose
I saw on my daily commute went through at
least a dozen outfits during a year. They
included a Cleveland Cavs uniform, a witch
costume at Halloween, a blue and white
gingham sundress with matching bonnet, and
a strapless black evening dress for New
Years. Most of the outfits are made by
local seamstresses.
A relatively new phenomenon in our area is
the display of life-size black-painted cut-outs
of hunting dogs, pipe-smoking men leaning on
trees, cougars and such. One property which
overlooks the Ohio Turnpike has a pair of
growling grizzly bears, one lumbering and one
standing on its hind legs. The cut-outs are
a few notches above "tacky" and the bears are
so realistic that they startle me every time
I pass, especially at night.
Mary Michaelis - N8DMM
Zone 5, Columbia Station, Ohio
Robert C. Marshall
with a small grey wooden bridge next to the front steps. On the bridge,
sometimes, is a small ceramic racoon. Sometimes, too, the bridge is
unoccupied. We have not yet figured out the period or the principle
behind the period of Rocky's (what else?) appearance, and consequently
many meals have been wagered, won and lost. To this day, her guess is
as good as mine, and that's just not right.
Lately a small grey bunny (cement? plastic?) has emerged from the
hostas at the foot of the bridge. Why, tho, would a racoon sometimes
be and sometimes not be on a small grey wooden bridge? Your guess is
probably as good as mine too.
Ruth Evans
Ruth
__ ___ __
__ ////\ /\/\ /\/ _//\ __ /// | Posted by Ruth Evans - rev...@ccubb.com|
\\\//// '\/ \/ / /\/ '\\\\/// | Princess: Cutest Wiggle Tail Ever! |
\xx/ \/\/\/\/\/\/\__/\/\/ \xx/ | Anne McCaffrey: Master Word Crafter |
Karen O'Shea
In article <31CD68...@iamerica.net>, George Shirley (gshi...@iamerica.net) writes:
>My sister has concrete rabbits in her gardens. Real hoot to watch the
>local cats leap on them. Her cat, Sister Cat, just sits and watches and
>laughs at the other cats and then runs them off for getting in her yard.
>
>I collect pink flamingoes, standing, sitting, flying, plastic, wood,
>whatever. Scares the hell out of the grackles and other destructive
>birds when they try to fly into the garden. The neighbors think I'm,
>ahem, eccentric anyway. Since I'm a consultant and work out of my home
>I'm also the house husband, cook, clean, wash, etc. Ain't bad work, got
>some other ladies want to know if I hire out and then lose interest when
>I tell them I gets to sleep with the lady what lives here.
>
>George in SW Louisiana harvested the herbs again this morning and the
>damned eggplant. Whose idea was it to plant six egg plants for two
>people?
Kia ora, my mum has a stone cat (to keep those plastic lemons
company) and her cats treid to kill it when it first arrived.
Love the flock of flamingoes!
Only one question (from someone who grows 10 eggplants, 3 varieties
for one person) are six too many or too few?
#######
I'm living in denial
the weather, coffee, and company is perfect.
#######
Ka Fish in Aotearoa (no USDA zone)
Robert Harris Stoertz
>My mother has the ceramic gnomes ...but I always thought they were kinda
>tasteful... I dunno..bias for mom I guess:>
>As for the other ornaments...I hate plastic for figurines but can stand
>stone. For some reason we also have a stone mushroom that my mother is
>fond of, as well as a lil brown frog.
>I dunno why I just babbled to you about my lawn ornaments but oh well:P
That's okay -- in fact, it's good!
That's what this is all about, really. It's an opportunity for all of
us to 'fess up, unburden our consciences, and go back out into the
garden free of that terrible guilt and the dark secrets.
Now, is there anything else you want to get off your mind? We are
friends, you know. We want to help. No one else will know, except you,
us, and the entire Internet.
Regards, Robert
Karen O'Shea
>>(Lynn of Tawa) grossness. This is the woman who puts plastic lemons
>>on her lemon tree to encourage the plant!!!
>
>Does it work?
>
>
>Nancy Dooley
>
>"Celebrate our State." Iowa's Sesquicentennial year, 1846-1996.
Kia ora,
I went out and had a look (no mean feat in this weather) and there
were two real lemons as big as the fake one so maybe it does...do
you think my mum could market this to orchardists?