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YAAP Miller-Pri-Elf-Mal-Cha
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fri...@vortex4.net
Jun 14, 2022, 1:01:10 AM6/14/22
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The first time I ever saw the Alex Cox film and Emilio Estevez vehicle, “Repo Man”, I was probably eleven years old. I didn’t make it past the first scene. My friend Jonathan and his mother Ann, who had access to the cable movie channels we lacked, imbued my family with culture by showing to us and/or referring a number of films that one or more of us were occasionally not ready for at the time. Ann and Jonathan both had an abiding love for Repo Man, but as an unsophisticated youth with a (temporarily) healthy respect for authority, I couldn’t handle the highway patrolman being disintegrated at the beginning of the film.
By the time I made it to college, I had established the correct frame of mind to truly appreciate Repo Man, and it was one of the few VHS tapes I owned when I lived in the dorms. My first attempt at college was a spectacular failure, due in no small part to the sudden appearance of psychedelics in the landscape of my life.
And so it was, one fateful day, the first (and only) time I ever took the correct dosage of LSD for my wiry frame (folks, don’t do psychedelics without the supervision of a medical professional), I eventually made my way down to the dark media room in the dorms and put on Repo Man. I peaked during the scene at the end in which the Chevy Malibu hurls a lightning bolt at a frightened Priest, setting fire to his Bible and eliciting a chagrinned, “Holy Sheep Shit!”, followed by the swell of Reel Ten by The Plugz, and the power shot of Tracey Walter striding majestically through the yard to run his fingers over the roof of the Malibu. It was a religious experience.
As a result, it has never been a question that when it finally came time for me to ascend a Priest, that Priest would be miller. miller is my first 3.7(-dev) and my first successful vegetarian. Every would-be vegetarian I’ve ever ascended has accidentally forgotten about black pudding and messed up the conduct. This, then, represents my first new conduct in three ascensions, as I ate the wrong pudding in both my Monk and Tourist runs.
miller’s dog was Otto, the erstwhile hero of Repo Man, and beneficiary of miller’s guidance and blessing. You would have every reason to expect that fruittype be “plate of shrimp”, for potions that taste like “plate of shrimp” juice, but there was a literal fruit early in the film, a stack of cans of which a future Napoleon Dynamite would be cast into by our hero. Thus, potions of see invisible would taste like “yellow sliced peach” juice. Replacement pets might be “Kevin”, “Reggie”, or “Duke”. Certainly, any horses could have been “Repo Car” but more often ended up “’69 Chevy Malibu”. Nurses would be named for the other Repo Men, such as “Bud”, “Oly”, “Lite”, “Plettchner”, and “J. Frank Parnell” (though I totally forgot to N)ame any nurses during my final game), while succubi would be “Debbi”, “Marlene”, “Agent Rogersz”, “Mrs. Magrudar”, “Leila”, and “Repo Wife” #s 1-4, nearly all of whom would ultimately appear in the Quest.
Despite understanding the beatitude of items, I had a lot of trouble with Priests, though admittedly a lot of it came from attempting the vegetarian conduct, which created a food problem in the early game that mandated reliance on melee combat rather than spellcasting. Between the lack of expertise in most missile weapons, limited melee weapon selection, and miller’s Elven nature making him likey to receive Orcrist as a first sacrifice, it was often quite a trick to survive. The November tournament saw many promising games lost to pits bearing poisoned spikes, and though miller completed the Mines a couple of times, until he ascended, he had never completed the Quest. In Junethack, however, everything came together. For the first time in any tournament, I completed an ascension on my first try and in 11 days.
The millers I had been running over the last few months hadn’t found many chests early on, but this game was thick with them, including one unlocked chest he was able to park at the mines branch on level 2. With the mines so easily in reach, miller quickly picked up an alkys, making the rest of the game much easier. The big break, however, came from a decent-sized armor shop on level 4. Because a priest can see what’s not cursed, they have a unique freedom to identify armor by trying it on. This shop had both gauntlets of power and speed boots, and once plied with a tripe ration, Otto snagged them both. Given the aforementioned focus on melee for this Priest, the gauntlets and boots solved the “killing stuff fast enough” problem miller had previously been facing.
Quickly, miller became expert in both mace and club. Sokoban was thus much more survivable than usual, particularly since the high strength bagged miller a unicorn horn prior to the assault on the treasure zoo at the top. Somehow Otto was still alive for that fight and even survived it. Normally he would have been lost by this point and miller would have to tame a ’69 Chevy Malibu to take some of the heat off. The treasure at the end was a bag of holding.
Fortunately due to the close proximity of Sokoban stairs on 7 to miller’s stash on 2, and now a the bag, it was easy to shuttle used armor/weapons to the shop on level 4 and generate cash for Oracle consults and shopping. The armory on level 4 included an oilskin cloak and a second pair of speed boots. The Mines yielded a second bag of holding (ultimately the go-bag in a chest parked next to the stairs on level 1, packed with gems, non-critical artifact weapons, and planes-specific ascension kit items like wands of teleport). The hardware store in the mines had the first of many of cans of grease miller would eventually discover, and Izchak had plenty of candles.
Unfortunately, what the RNG provideth the RNG also taketh away, and both reflection and magic resistance didn’t come along for a while. An early polymorph trap would destroy miller’s oilskin cloak as he was transformed into a crocodile. A level teleport trap would separate miller and Otto for a time, during which miller would acquire poison resistance from a small glob of gray ooze. Otto would make it to Mine’s End and the luckstone, but would be lost to a pit trap not long after. Flush with cash from the mines, miller would acquire the best picks of the armor shop as well a general store on level 8. This would net him banded mail, a stethoscope, and a 91 charge magic marker.
Another rough part of this game was a dearth of consequence-free convertible altars. They would not appear until the level just before Medusa, though miller did discover Demonbane just sitting on the floor in a room of the dungeon on the way to the Quest portal. It blasted miller when he picked it up, but fortunately he was high enough level at this point that it didn’t kill him.
Since the way to the quest was barred, miller descended further into the Dungeons of Doom. He received a speed boost from a wand. The discovery of a ring of slow digestion solved the food problem and allowed him to start reading spellbooks. A ring of free action, an amulet of magical breathing, invisibility courtesy of another wand, and a ring of levitation would make Medusa a solvable problem, and her level would yield a shield of reflection. A level below her was an attended altar, which allowed Miller to finish acquiring protection without having to go back to the mines.
Still not yet level 14, miller built up experience any way he could before going on the quest, though the lengths to which it would be required were somewhat extreme. Mars wasn’t really interested in providing Stormbringer to miller this early. He provided Orcrist, Dragonbane, and Ogresmasher before miller got the point and gave up. This was going to make prosecuting further offensives complicated, but there were scrolls of enchant weapon available, so the alkys he had been carrying around was pumped up to +6, and thanks to a horn to work out the passtune and a suspicious lack of Liches (though miller WAS still only level 12), miller somehow managed to take out most of the Castle garrison using the portcullis and the combination of his alkys and gauntlets. Though this ultimately yielded the wand of wishing, I’ve been going wishless so long now that miller just took it as a trophy. The Castle fortunately also contained a blue dragon which was kind enough to leave scales behind, so he was able to drop his AC sufficiently to withstand most challenges.
At this point miller was still only level 13, and things were starting to get a little grim. He REALLY didn’t want to go into Gehennom to try and become high enough level to go on the quest…especially without magic resistance. So miller went about trying to find Ft Ludios in a bid to acquire enough experience to make it to 14th level, a problem complicated bythe number of level drain attacks he had suffered by this point. miller finally found the fort on level 14, 2 levels below the quest gate. While cleaning out Ludios, he discovered a spellbook of identify, an amulet of flying (3.7 is weird), 2 potions of gain level, and coaxed Trollsbane out of Mars (No. You CAN’T have Stormbringer yet).
Finally replacing his lost oilskin cloak with a cloak of protection, and coaxing cold resistance out of a gelatinous cube corpse, miller depopulated the Quest levels with his +6 aklys. But would he be able to survive Nalzok? With an akys, which had an alarming habit of not returning? He would need a backup plan. He looked before him, weapons spread out. Sting, Orcrist, Ogrebane, Trollsbane, Dragonbane…none of these really screamed “bump me up to +6”. Finally, his eyes fell on Demonbane. Well, Nalzok is a Demon, right? Could a weapon miller was unskilled in work? In the end, it wasn’t much of a fight. With free action and plenty of potions of paralyzation by this point (as well as being up to level 19 thanks to so many succibi in the Quest that I exhausted the pool of names), it was as simple as hitting Nalzok with a potion and then whacking him with the +6 Demonbane. Nalzok would fall in 3 hits, and miller would complete the Quest for the first time ever.
Now it was time to go Straight to Hell. Stacking up all of the nifty items acquired so far, as well as every item he could pry out of the plethora of available shops (all identified thanks to his fancy spellbook) miller prepared for his assault on Gehennom. Identification had finally revealed potions of see invisible; all that was missing was a sustainable artifact weapon. miller knew what he had to do. For the first time, without dithering with holy water or sacrificing, he prayed on an altar to Mars, was crowned the Glory of Arioch, and granted Stormbringer, which he quickly charged up to +6. It was time to go. Wait, even without magic resistance? I SAID IT WAS TIME TO GO.
Miller paid off Asmodeus and Baalzebub, but not before falling down a shaft to Jubilex’ level, whom Stormbringer made short work of…
And then I had to take a break. I had to think about this “no magic resistance” plan. Things were happening. Assorted armor destroyed by walking into polymorph traps or by angry Liches, but also…voting. Ya gotta vote, people. It’s tedious and it’s no fun, but ya gotta to do it. Every time. In every race. No skipping primaries and DEFINITELY NO SKIPPING MIDTERMS. You don’t get your way every time but you gotta do your part.
Now that I had voted, I could think. Reverse genocide Gray Dragons, duh. Now appropriately outfitted, the rest was achievable. Miller took out Orcus and Vlad, the latter with the assistance of another potion of paralyzation, which also helped to handle Gehennom’s plethora of Liches. Most of the kit was coming together, but Miller managed to find neither scrolls of taming nor spellbooks of charm monster, so he didn’t end up with any other long-lived pets. This was going to make the Astral Plane a chore, though the discovery on the way through Gehennom of a ring of conflict helped a ton. After one last stash run and prep of the go-bag, Miller took out the Wizard with Orcus’ wand of death, raced down to the Vibrating Square, put on the ring of conflict, and waded through the Sanctum. The High Priestess of Moloch also fell to Orcus’ wand, and amulet was miller’s.
The race up through Gehennom could have been worse…the 4 or 5 instances of the mysterious force were all in a row, and after that storm of setbacks, heading back to the Dungeons of Doom was no sweat, thanks to a couple of scrolls of charging to keep the wands of death fresh and Rodney at bay. The stashed items such as potions of confusion and scrolls of gold detection in the go-bag made crossing the elemental planes a successful, if nerve-wracking process.
The Astral Plane went relatively smoothly. Though he had no method of taming, a couple of well placed purple worm reverse-genocides provided both a few extra turns to turns to manage inventory and a method of thinning enemy lines somewhat at the outset and while journeying between altars. Conflict and miller’s collection of wands of teleport and death solved the most significant problems. Though the first altar, past Famine, was to Venus, the second, guarded by Death, was to Mars…
Ann and Jonathan, thank you both for your ongoing inspiration. This one is for you!
-------
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5 ---------
5
Miller the Canon St:25 Dx:18 Co:16 In:25 Wi:25 Ch:18 Chaotic S:17
Astral Plane $:0 HP:158(289) Pw:335(336) AC:-36 Xp:19/2800556 T:93359
You offer the Amulet of Yendor to Mars...--More--
An invisible choir sings, and you are bathed in radiance...--More--
The voice of Mars booms: "Mortal, thou hast done well!"--More--
"In return for thy service, I grant thee the gift of Immortality!"--More--
You ascend to the status of Demigod...--More--
Do you want your possessions identified? [ynq] (y)
Amulets
T - an amulet of life saving (being worn)
Weapons
G - a rustproof +6 aklys
q - the blessed rustproof +6 Stormbringer (weapon in hand)
Armor
c - the greased +5 Mitre of Holiness (being worn)
k - a blessed +5 pair of gauntlets of power (being worn)
d - a blessed fireproof +5 pair of speed boots (being worn)
N - a blessed +4 shield of reflection (being worn)
O - a greased thoroughly burnt +0 cloak of protection (being worn)
m - a blessed +0 Hawaiian shirt with a hula dancer motif (being worn)
g - a blessed +4 gray dragon scale mail (being worn)
Comestibles
M - a clove of garlic
e - a lembas wafer
V - a lizard corpse
Scrolls
F - a scroll of create monster
w - a cursed scroll of genocide
Spellbooks
p - the Book of the Dead
Rings
r - a ring of conflict (on left hand)
J - a blessed ring of free action (on right hand)
o - a ring of slow digestion
Wands
L - a wand of death (1:7)
Z - a wand of death (1:1)
b - a wand of teleportation (0:0)
s - a wand of teleportation (0:0)
Tools
y - a blessed bag of holding named loot containing 31 items
D - a blessed bag of holding containing 59 items
a - a sack containing 2 items
R - an empty sack named loot sack wrapper
u - a tooled horn
i - the Bell of Opening (0:2)
n - the Candelabrum of Invocation (0 of 7 candles attached)
t - a magic lamp
E - a pair of lenses (being worn)
h - a skeleton key
H - a stethoscope
l - a blessed +0 unicorn horn
Gems/Stones
P - a worthless piece of black glass
z - a worthless piece of blue glass
K - a worthless piece of green glass
U - a worthless piece of orange glass
Q - a worthless piece of red glass
f - a worthless piece of violet glass
A - a worthless piece of yellowish brown glass
S - a blessed luckstone
(3 of 3)
Contents of the sack:
-- a wand of cancellation (0:8)
.. a wand of cancellation (0:6)
-% --More--
Contents of the bag of holding named loot:
the +0 Sting
the blessed rustproof +1 Dragonbane
the rustproof +0 Ogresmasher
the fireproof +0 Orcrist
the rustproof +0 Trollsbane
5 K-rations
5 lumps of royal jelly
2 lizard corpses
a wand of teleportation (0:4)
a wand of teleportation (0:3)
a wand of teleportation (0:7)
2 amber stones
11 amethyst stones
5 aquamarine stones
3 black opals
7 chrysoberyl stones
2 citrine stones
6 diamonds
3 dilithium crystals
12 emeralds
2 fluorite stones
5 garnet stones
6 jacinth stones
3 jade stones
4 jasper stones
a jet stone
3 obsidian stones
an opal
6 rubies
a sapphire
4 topaz stones
Contents of the bag of holding:
an amulet of flying
an amulet of life saving
an amulet of life saving
an amulet of magical breathing
an amulet of reflection
a poisoned rusty +0 dart
the +6 Demonbane
a +0 pair of gauntlets of dexterity
a +0 pair of speed boots
a blessed very burnt +2 small shield
a +0 set of gray dragon scales
a carrot
a cream pie
4 food rations
a lizard corpse
7 blessed scrolls of blank paper
a blessed scroll of earth
2 scrolls of enchant weapon
a blessed scroll of identify
5 blessed scrolls of remove curse
a potion of acid
a potion of extra healing
a potion of full healing
3 blessed potions of gain ability
a potion of paralysis
15 potions of holy water
a ring of free action
a ring of free action
a ring of levitation
a ring of levitation
a ring of polymorph
a ring of polymorph control
a ring of regeneration
a ring of slow digestion
a ring of teleport control
a ring of teleportation
a wand of lightning (0:4)
a wand of polymorph (0:6)
a wand of probing (0:5)
a wand of sleep (0:6)
a wand of sleep (0:5)
a wand of sleep (0:1)
a wand of speed monster (0:7)
a wand of teleportation (0:5)
a wand of teleportation (0:4)
a wand of undead turning (0:7)
a wand of wishing (0:3)
an oilskin sack containing 5 items
an empty sack
a can of grease (0:14)
a magic whistle
a skeleton key
a tinning kit (0:53)
a wet towel
a +0 unicorn horn
a diamond
a ruby
3 turquoise stones
a blessed luckstone
Contents of the oilskin sack:
-- a blessed scroll of enchant weapon
.. a blessed scroll of magic mapping
-% a blessed scroll of remove curse
.. a blessed potion of see invisible
.. 2 potions of sleeping
Miller the Priest's attributes:
Background:
You were a Canon, a level 19 elven Priest.
You were chaotic, on a mission for Mars
who was opposed by Mercury (lawful) and Venus (neutral).
You were in the endgame, on the Astral Plane.
You entered the dungeon 93359 turns ago.
It was nighttime.
You had 2800556 experience points, 2319444 more were needed for level 20.
Your score was 1729419 before end-of-game adjustments.
Basics:
You had 158 out of 289 hit points.
You had 335 out of 336 energy points (spell power).
Your armor class was -36.
Your wallet was empty.
Autopickup was off.
Final Characteristics:
Your strength was 25 (base:13, peak:18, innate limit:18).
Your dexterity was 18 (limit:18).
Your constitution was 16 (limit:16).
Your intelligence was 25 (base:20, innate limit:20).
Your wisdom was 25 (base:20, innate limit:20).
Your charisma was 18 (limit:18).
Final Status:
You were not hungry.
You were unencumbered.
You were wielding a broadsword.
You had basic skill with broadsword.
Final Attributes:
You were the Glory of Arioch.
You were piously aligned.
You were magic-protected.
You were fire resistant.
You were cold resistant.
You were sleep resistant.
You were shock resistant.
You were poison resistant.
You were level-drain resistant.
You saw invisible.
You were warned.
You had infravision.
You were invisible to others.
You caused conflict.
You had a moderate defense bonus (+9).
You were protected.
You were very fast.
You had reflection.
You had free action.
Your life would have been saved.
You were extremely lucky.
You had extra luck.
Good luck did not time out for you.
You survived.
Miscellaneous:
You never encountered a bones level.
Total elapsed playing time was 1 day, 12 hours, 44 minutes and 14 seconds.
Do you want an account of creatures vanquished? [ynaq] (y)
Vanquished creatures:
Orcus
Juiblex
the Wizard of Yendor (5 times)
Death (thrice)
Famine (4 times)
Vlad the Impaler
an arch-lich
a high cleric
a mastodon
Medusa
Croesus
8 krakens
5 iron golems
8 master liches
5 storm giants
6 glass golems
7 balrogs
Nalzok
[SNIP]
3609 creatures vanquished.
Extinct species:
-- killer bees (extinct)
.. wraiths (extinct)
-% human zombies (extinct)
.. soldiers (extinct)
.. erinyes (extinct)
1 4.
144. 5 species extinct.
Voluntary challenges:
You were vegetarian.
You read items or engraved 183 times.
You never engraved Elbereth.
You never genocided any monsters.
You never polymorphed an object.
You used no wishes.
You violated the special Sokoban rules twice.
Achievements:
You entered a shop.
You entered the Gnomish Mines.
You attained the rank of Acolyte.
You entered Sokoban.
You consulted the Oracle of Delphi.
You attained the rank of Adept.
You completed Sokoban.
You entered Minetown.
You entered a temple.
You attained the rank of Priest.
You completed the Gnomish Mines.
You entered the Big Room.
You defeated Medusa.
You learned the tune to open and close the Castle's drawbridge.
You entered Gehennom.
You attained the rank of Curate.
You had the Bell of Opening.
You attained the rank of Canon.
You had the Candelabrum of Invocation.
You had the Book of the Dead.
You gained access to Moloch's Sanctum.
You reached the Elemental Planes.
You reached the Astral Plane.
You delivered the Amulet of Yendor.
You ascended!
The Elemental Planes:
Astral Plane: <- You are here.
Some temples.
Plane of Water:
Plane of Fire:
Plane of Air:
Plane of Earth:
The Dungeons of Doom: levels 1 to 25
Level 1:
One way stairs up to The Elemental Planes.
Level 2:
A general store.
Stairs down to The Gnomish Mines.
Level 3:
A fountain.
Level 4:
An armor shop.
Level 5:
Level 6:
Many fountains.
Oracle of Delphi.
Level 7:
Stairs up to Sokoban, level 6.
Level 8:
A general store.
Level 9:
A general store, a fountain.
Level 10:
Level 11:
A very big room.
Level 12:
A general store.
Level 13:
Portal to The Quest.
Level 14:
Portal to Fort Ludios.
Level 15:
A primitive area.
Level 16:
Level 17:
A fountain.
Level 18:
Some fountains.
Level 19:
A fountain.
Level 20:
A fountain.
Level 21:
Level 22:
A temple to Mars, a sink.
Level 23:
Level 24:
An altar to Mars, a fountain.
Level 25:
A fountain.
The castle (play notes "EBBFD" to open or close drawbridge).
Connection to Gehennom.
Gehennom: levels 26 to 49
Level 26:
A temple, a grave.
Valley of the Dead.
Level 27:
Level 28:
Level 29:
Level 30:
Level 31:
Many fountains.
Level 32:
Level 33:
Level 34:
Level 35:
Level 36:
Level 37:
Stairs up to Vlad's Tower, level 36.
Level 38:
Level 39:
Level 40:
Some shops, an altar, many graves.
Level 41:
Level 42:
Level 43:
Level 44:
Level 45:
Level 46:
Level 47:
Level 48:
Level 49:
A temple, many graves.
Moloch's Sanctum.
The Gnomish Mines: levels 3 to 11
Level 3:
Level 4:
Level 5:
Many shops, a temple, some fountains.
Level 6:
Level 7:
Level 8:
Level 9:
Level 10:
Level 11:
Some fountains.
The Quest: levels 1 to 6
Level 1:
A temple to Mars, many trees.
Completed quest for the Arch Priest.
Level 2:
Level 3:
A temple, a grave.
Level 4:
A grave.
Level 5:
Level 6:
Sokoban: levels 6 up to 3
Level 3:
Solved.
Level 4:
Solved.
Level 5:
Solved.
Level 6:
Solved.
Fort Ludios:
Level 1:
Fort Ludios.
Vlad's Tower: levels 36 up to 34
Level 34:
Level 35:
Level 36:
Goodbye miller the Demigod...
You went to your reward with 3719288 points,
The Mitre of Holiness (worth 2000 zorkmids and 5000 points)
The Bell of Opening (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
The Candelabrum of Invocation (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
The Book of the Dead (worth 10000 zorkmids and 25000 points)
Stormbringer (worth 8000 zorkmids and 20000 points)
Dragonbane (worth 500 zorkmids and 1250 points)
Sting (worth 800 zorkmids and 2000 points)
Trollsbane (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Orcrist (worth 2000 zorkmids and 5000 points)
Ogresmasher (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Demonbane (worth 2500 zorkmids and 6250 points)
12 emeralds (worth 30000 zorkmids),
11 amethyst stones (worth 6600 zorkmids),
7 diamonds (worth 28000 zorkmids),
7 rubies (worth 24500 zorkmids),
7 chrysoberyl stones (worth 4900 zorkmids),
7 worthless pieces of colored glass,
6 jacinth stones (worth 19500 zorkmids),
5 aquamarine stones (worth 7500 zorkmids),
5 garnet stones (worth 3500 zorkmids),
4 topaz stones (worth 3600 zorkmids),
4 jasper stones (worth 2000 zorkmids),
3 dilithium crystals (worth 13500 zorkmids),
3 black opals (worth 7500 zorkmids),
3 turquoise stones (worth 6000 zorkmids),
3 obsidian stones (worth 600 zorkmids),
3 jade stones (worth 900 zorkmids),
2 citrine stones (worth 3000 zorkmids),
2 amber stones (worth 2000 zorkmids),
2 fluorite stones (worth 800 zorkmids),
1 sapphire (worth 3000 zorkmids),
1 jet stone (worth 850 zorkmids),
1 opal (worth 800 zorkmids),
3 amulets of life saving (worth 450 zorkmids),
1 amulet of reflection (worth 150 zorkmids),
1 amulet of magical breathing (worth 150 zorkmids),
1 amulet of flying (worth 150 zorkmids),
and 0 pieces of gold, after 93359 moves.
You were level 19 with a maximum of 289 hit points when you ascended.
By the time I made it to college, I had established the correct frame of mind to truly appreciate Repo Man, and it was one of the few VHS tapes I owned when I lived in the dorms. My first attempt at college was a spectacular failure, due in no small part to the sudden appearance of psychedelics in the landscape of my life.
And so it was, one fateful day, the first (and only) time I ever took the correct dosage of LSD for my wiry frame (folks, don’t do psychedelics without the supervision of a medical professional), I eventually made my way down to the dark media room in the dorms and put on Repo Man. I peaked during the scene at the end in which the Chevy Malibu hurls a lightning bolt at a frightened Priest, setting fire to his Bible and eliciting a chagrinned, “Holy Sheep Shit!”, followed by the swell of Reel Ten by The Plugz, and the power shot of Tracey Walter striding majestically through the yard to run his fingers over the roof of the Malibu. It was a religious experience.
As a result, it has never been a question that when it finally came time for me to ascend a Priest, that Priest would be miller. miller is my first 3.7(-dev) and my first successful vegetarian. Every would-be vegetarian I’ve ever ascended has accidentally forgotten about black pudding and messed up the conduct. This, then, represents my first new conduct in three ascensions, as I ate the wrong pudding in both my Monk and Tourist runs.
miller’s dog was Otto, the erstwhile hero of Repo Man, and beneficiary of miller’s guidance and blessing. You would have every reason to expect that fruittype be “plate of shrimp”, for potions that taste like “plate of shrimp” juice, but there was a literal fruit early in the film, a stack of cans of which a future Napoleon Dynamite would be cast into by our hero. Thus, potions of see invisible would taste like “yellow sliced peach” juice. Replacement pets might be “Kevin”, “Reggie”, or “Duke”. Certainly, any horses could have been “Repo Car” but more often ended up “’69 Chevy Malibu”. Nurses would be named for the other Repo Men, such as “Bud”, “Oly”, “Lite”, “Plettchner”, and “J. Frank Parnell” (though I totally forgot to N)ame any nurses during my final game), while succubi would be “Debbi”, “Marlene”, “Agent Rogersz”, “Mrs. Magrudar”, “Leila”, and “Repo Wife” #s 1-4, nearly all of whom would ultimately appear in the Quest.
Despite understanding the beatitude of items, I had a lot of trouble with Priests, though admittedly a lot of it came from attempting the vegetarian conduct, which created a food problem in the early game that mandated reliance on melee combat rather than spellcasting. Between the lack of expertise in most missile weapons, limited melee weapon selection, and miller’s Elven nature making him likey to receive Orcrist as a first sacrifice, it was often quite a trick to survive. The November tournament saw many promising games lost to pits bearing poisoned spikes, and though miller completed the Mines a couple of times, until he ascended, he had never completed the Quest. In Junethack, however, everything came together. For the first time in any tournament, I completed an ascension on my first try and in 11 days.
The millers I had been running over the last few months hadn’t found many chests early on, but this game was thick with them, including one unlocked chest he was able to park at the mines branch on level 2. With the mines so easily in reach, miller quickly picked up an alkys, making the rest of the game much easier. The big break, however, came from a decent-sized armor shop on level 4. Because a priest can see what’s not cursed, they have a unique freedom to identify armor by trying it on. This shop had both gauntlets of power and speed boots, and once plied with a tripe ration, Otto snagged them both. Given the aforementioned focus on melee for this Priest, the gauntlets and boots solved the “killing stuff fast enough” problem miller had previously been facing.
Quickly, miller became expert in both mace and club. Sokoban was thus much more survivable than usual, particularly since the high strength bagged miller a unicorn horn prior to the assault on the treasure zoo at the top. Somehow Otto was still alive for that fight and even survived it. Normally he would have been lost by this point and miller would have to tame a ’69 Chevy Malibu to take some of the heat off. The treasure at the end was a bag of holding.
Fortunately due to the close proximity of Sokoban stairs on 7 to miller’s stash on 2, and now a the bag, it was easy to shuttle used armor/weapons to the shop on level 4 and generate cash for Oracle consults and shopping. The armory on level 4 included an oilskin cloak and a second pair of speed boots. The Mines yielded a second bag of holding (ultimately the go-bag in a chest parked next to the stairs on level 1, packed with gems, non-critical artifact weapons, and planes-specific ascension kit items like wands of teleport). The hardware store in the mines had the first of many of cans of grease miller would eventually discover, and Izchak had plenty of candles.
Unfortunately, what the RNG provideth the RNG also taketh away, and both reflection and magic resistance didn’t come along for a while. An early polymorph trap would destroy miller’s oilskin cloak as he was transformed into a crocodile. A level teleport trap would separate miller and Otto for a time, during which miller would acquire poison resistance from a small glob of gray ooze. Otto would make it to Mine’s End and the luckstone, but would be lost to a pit trap not long after. Flush with cash from the mines, miller would acquire the best picks of the armor shop as well a general store on level 8. This would net him banded mail, a stethoscope, and a 91 charge magic marker.
Another rough part of this game was a dearth of consequence-free convertible altars. They would not appear until the level just before Medusa, though miller did discover Demonbane just sitting on the floor in a room of the dungeon on the way to the Quest portal. It blasted miller when he picked it up, but fortunately he was high enough level at this point that it didn’t kill him.
Since the way to the quest was barred, miller descended further into the Dungeons of Doom. He received a speed boost from a wand. The discovery of a ring of slow digestion solved the food problem and allowed him to start reading spellbooks. A ring of free action, an amulet of magical breathing, invisibility courtesy of another wand, and a ring of levitation would make Medusa a solvable problem, and her level would yield a shield of reflection. A level below her was an attended altar, which allowed Miller to finish acquiring protection without having to go back to the mines.
Still not yet level 14, miller built up experience any way he could before going on the quest, though the lengths to which it would be required were somewhat extreme. Mars wasn’t really interested in providing Stormbringer to miller this early. He provided Orcrist, Dragonbane, and Ogresmasher before miller got the point and gave up. This was going to make prosecuting further offensives complicated, but there were scrolls of enchant weapon available, so the alkys he had been carrying around was pumped up to +6, and thanks to a horn to work out the passtune and a suspicious lack of Liches (though miller WAS still only level 12), miller somehow managed to take out most of the Castle garrison using the portcullis and the combination of his alkys and gauntlets. Though this ultimately yielded the wand of wishing, I’ve been going wishless so long now that miller just took it as a trophy. The Castle fortunately also contained a blue dragon which was kind enough to leave scales behind, so he was able to drop his AC sufficiently to withstand most challenges.
At this point miller was still only level 13, and things were starting to get a little grim. He REALLY didn’t want to go into Gehennom to try and become high enough level to go on the quest…especially without magic resistance. So miller went about trying to find Ft Ludios in a bid to acquire enough experience to make it to 14th level, a problem complicated bythe number of level drain attacks he had suffered by this point. miller finally found the fort on level 14, 2 levels below the quest gate. While cleaning out Ludios, he discovered a spellbook of identify, an amulet of flying (3.7 is weird), 2 potions of gain level, and coaxed Trollsbane out of Mars (No. You CAN’T have Stormbringer yet).
Finally replacing his lost oilskin cloak with a cloak of protection, and coaxing cold resistance out of a gelatinous cube corpse, miller depopulated the Quest levels with his +6 aklys. But would he be able to survive Nalzok? With an akys, which had an alarming habit of not returning? He would need a backup plan. He looked before him, weapons spread out. Sting, Orcrist, Ogrebane, Trollsbane, Dragonbane…none of these really screamed “bump me up to +6”. Finally, his eyes fell on Demonbane. Well, Nalzok is a Demon, right? Could a weapon miller was unskilled in work? In the end, it wasn’t much of a fight. With free action and plenty of potions of paralyzation by this point (as well as being up to level 19 thanks to so many succibi in the Quest that I exhausted the pool of names), it was as simple as hitting Nalzok with a potion and then whacking him with the +6 Demonbane. Nalzok would fall in 3 hits, and miller would complete the Quest for the first time ever.
Now it was time to go Straight to Hell. Stacking up all of the nifty items acquired so far, as well as every item he could pry out of the plethora of available shops (all identified thanks to his fancy spellbook) miller prepared for his assault on Gehennom. Identification had finally revealed potions of see invisible; all that was missing was a sustainable artifact weapon. miller knew what he had to do. For the first time, without dithering with holy water or sacrificing, he prayed on an altar to Mars, was crowned the Glory of Arioch, and granted Stormbringer, which he quickly charged up to +6. It was time to go. Wait, even without magic resistance? I SAID IT WAS TIME TO GO.
Miller paid off Asmodeus and Baalzebub, but not before falling down a shaft to Jubilex’ level, whom Stormbringer made short work of…
And then I had to take a break. I had to think about this “no magic resistance” plan. Things were happening. Assorted armor destroyed by walking into polymorph traps or by angry Liches, but also…voting. Ya gotta vote, people. It’s tedious and it’s no fun, but ya gotta to do it. Every time. In every race. No skipping primaries and DEFINITELY NO SKIPPING MIDTERMS. You don’t get your way every time but you gotta do your part.
Now that I had voted, I could think. Reverse genocide Gray Dragons, duh. Now appropriately outfitted, the rest was achievable. Miller took out Orcus and Vlad, the latter with the assistance of another potion of paralyzation, which also helped to handle Gehennom’s plethora of Liches. Most of the kit was coming together, but Miller managed to find neither scrolls of taming nor spellbooks of charm monster, so he didn’t end up with any other long-lived pets. This was going to make the Astral Plane a chore, though the discovery on the way through Gehennom of a ring of conflict helped a ton. After one last stash run and prep of the go-bag, Miller took out the Wizard with Orcus’ wand of death, raced down to the Vibrating Square, put on the ring of conflict, and waded through the Sanctum. The High Priestess of Moloch also fell to Orcus’ wand, and amulet was miller’s.
The race up through Gehennom could have been worse…the 4 or 5 instances of the mysterious force were all in a row, and after that storm of setbacks, heading back to the Dungeons of Doom was no sweat, thanks to a couple of scrolls of charging to keep the wands of death fresh and Rodney at bay. The stashed items such as potions of confusion and scrolls of gold detection in the go-bag made crossing the elemental planes a successful, if nerve-wracking process.
The Astral Plane went relatively smoothly. Though he had no method of taming, a couple of well placed purple worm reverse-genocides provided both a few extra turns to turns to manage inventory and a method of thinning enemy lines somewhat at the outset and while journeying between altars. Conflict and miller’s collection of wands of teleport and death solved the most significant problems. Though the first altar, past Famine, was to Venus, the second, guarded by Death, was to Mars…
Ann and Jonathan, thank you both for your ongoing inspiration. This one is for you!
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5 |.ea&a.a| ------ --..---------
5 |a..@@..| 4 |...
1|....@..| -----
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5 ---------
5
Miller the Canon St:25 Dx:18 Co:16 In:25 Wi:25 Ch:18 Chaotic S:17
Astral Plane $:0 HP:158(289) Pw:335(336) AC:-36 Xp:19/2800556 T:93359
You offer the Amulet of Yendor to Mars...--More--
An invisible choir sings, and you are bathed in radiance...--More--
The voice of Mars booms: "Mortal, thou hast done well!"--More--
"In return for thy service, I grant thee the gift of Immortality!"--More--
You ascend to the status of Demigod...--More--
Do you want your possessions identified? [ynq] (y)
Amulets
T - an amulet of life saving (being worn)
Weapons
G - a rustproof +6 aklys
q - the blessed rustproof +6 Stormbringer (weapon in hand)
Armor
c - the greased +5 Mitre of Holiness (being worn)
k - a blessed +5 pair of gauntlets of power (being worn)
d - a blessed fireproof +5 pair of speed boots (being worn)
N - a blessed +4 shield of reflection (being worn)
O - a greased thoroughly burnt +0 cloak of protection (being worn)
m - a blessed +0 Hawaiian shirt with a hula dancer motif (being worn)
g - a blessed +4 gray dragon scale mail (being worn)
Comestibles
M - a clove of garlic
e - a lembas wafer
V - a lizard corpse
Scrolls
F - a scroll of create monster
w - a cursed scroll of genocide
Spellbooks
p - the Book of the Dead
Rings
r - a ring of conflict (on left hand)
J - a blessed ring of free action (on right hand)
o - a ring of slow digestion
Wands
L - a wand of death (1:7)
Z - a wand of death (1:1)
b - a wand of teleportation (0:0)
s - a wand of teleportation (0:0)
Tools
y - a blessed bag of holding named loot containing 31 items
D - a blessed bag of holding containing 59 items
a - a sack containing 2 items
R - an empty sack named loot sack wrapper
u - a tooled horn
i - the Bell of Opening (0:2)
n - the Candelabrum of Invocation (0 of 7 candles attached)
t - a magic lamp
E - a pair of lenses (being worn)
h - a skeleton key
H - a stethoscope
l - a blessed +0 unicorn horn
Gems/Stones
P - a worthless piece of black glass
z - a worthless piece of blue glass
K - a worthless piece of green glass
U - a worthless piece of orange glass
Q - a worthless piece of red glass
f - a worthless piece of violet glass
A - a worthless piece of yellowish brown glass
S - a blessed luckstone
(3 of 3)
Contents of the sack:
-- a wand of cancellation (0:8)
.. a wand of cancellation (0:6)
-% --More--
Contents of the bag of holding named loot:
the +0 Sting
the blessed rustproof +1 Dragonbane
the rustproof +0 Ogresmasher
the fireproof +0 Orcrist
the rustproof +0 Trollsbane
5 K-rations
5 lumps of royal jelly
2 lizard corpses
a wand of teleportation (0:4)
a wand of teleportation (0:3)
a wand of teleportation (0:7)
2 amber stones
11 amethyst stones
5 aquamarine stones
3 black opals
7 chrysoberyl stones
2 citrine stones
6 diamonds
3 dilithium crystals
12 emeralds
2 fluorite stones
5 garnet stones
6 jacinth stones
3 jade stones
4 jasper stones
a jet stone
3 obsidian stones
an opal
6 rubies
a sapphire
4 topaz stones
Contents of the bag of holding:
an amulet of flying
an amulet of life saving
an amulet of life saving
an amulet of magical breathing
an amulet of reflection
a poisoned rusty +0 dart
the +6 Demonbane
a +0 pair of gauntlets of dexterity
a +0 pair of speed boots
a blessed very burnt +2 small shield
a +0 set of gray dragon scales
a carrot
a cream pie
4 food rations
a lizard corpse
7 blessed scrolls of blank paper
a blessed scroll of earth
2 scrolls of enchant weapon
a blessed scroll of identify
5 blessed scrolls of remove curse
a potion of acid
a potion of extra healing
a potion of full healing
3 blessed potions of gain ability
a potion of paralysis
15 potions of holy water
a ring of free action
a ring of free action
a ring of levitation
a ring of levitation
a ring of polymorph
a ring of polymorph control
a ring of regeneration
a ring of slow digestion
a ring of teleport control
a ring of teleportation
a wand of lightning (0:4)
a wand of polymorph (0:6)
a wand of probing (0:5)
a wand of sleep (0:6)
a wand of sleep (0:5)
a wand of sleep (0:1)
a wand of speed monster (0:7)
a wand of teleportation (0:5)
a wand of teleportation (0:4)
a wand of undead turning (0:7)
a wand of wishing (0:3)
an oilskin sack containing 5 items
an empty sack
a can of grease (0:14)
a magic whistle
a skeleton key
a tinning kit (0:53)
a wet towel
a +0 unicorn horn
a diamond
a ruby
3 turquoise stones
a blessed luckstone
Contents of the oilskin sack:
-- a blessed scroll of enchant weapon
.. a blessed scroll of magic mapping
-% a blessed scroll of remove curse
.. a blessed potion of see invisible
.. 2 potions of sleeping
Miller the Priest's attributes:
Background:
You were a Canon, a level 19 elven Priest.
You were chaotic, on a mission for Mars
who was opposed by Mercury (lawful) and Venus (neutral).
You were in the endgame, on the Astral Plane.
You entered the dungeon 93359 turns ago.
It was nighttime.
You had 2800556 experience points, 2319444 more were needed for level 20.
Your score was 1729419 before end-of-game adjustments.
Basics:
You had 158 out of 289 hit points.
You had 335 out of 336 energy points (spell power).
Your armor class was -36.
Your wallet was empty.
Autopickup was off.
Final Characteristics:
Your strength was 25 (base:13, peak:18, innate limit:18).
Your dexterity was 18 (limit:18).
Your constitution was 16 (limit:16).
Your intelligence was 25 (base:20, innate limit:20).
Your wisdom was 25 (base:20, innate limit:20).
Your charisma was 18 (limit:18).
Final Status:
You were not hungry.
You were unencumbered.
You were wielding a broadsword.
You had basic skill with broadsword.
Final Attributes:
You were the Glory of Arioch.
You were piously aligned.
You were magic-protected.
You were fire resistant.
You were cold resistant.
You were sleep resistant.
You were shock resistant.
You were poison resistant.
You were level-drain resistant.
You saw invisible.
You were warned.
You had infravision.
You were invisible to others.
You caused conflict.
You had a moderate defense bonus (+9).
You were protected.
You were very fast.
You had reflection.
You had free action.
Your life would have been saved.
You were extremely lucky.
You had extra luck.
Good luck did not time out for you.
You survived.
Miscellaneous:
You never encountered a bones level.
Total elapsed playing time was 1 day, 12 hours, 44 minutes and 14 seconds.
Do you want an account of creatures vanquished? [ynaq] (y)
Vanquished creatures:
Orcus
Juiblex
the Wizard of Yendor (5 times)
Death (thrice)
Famine (4 times)
Vlad the Impaler
an arch-lich
a high cleric
a mastodon
Medusa
Croesus
8 krakens
5 iron golems
8 master liches
5 storm giants
6 glass golems
7 balrogs
Nalzok
[SNIP]
3609 creatures vanquished.
Extinct species:
-- killer bees (extinct)
.. wraiths (extinct)
-% human zombies (extinct)
.. soldiers (extinct)
.. erinyes (extinct)
1 4.
144. 5 species extinct.
Voluntary challenges:
You were vegetarian.
You read items or engraved 183 times.
You never engraved Elbereth.
You never genocided any monsters.
You never polymorphed an object.
You used no wishes.
You violated the special Sokoban rules twice.
Achievements:
You entered a shop.
You entered the Gnomish Mines.
You attained the rank of Acolyte.
You entered Sokoban.
You consulted the Oracle of Delphi.
You attained the rank of Adept.
You completed Sokoban.
You entered Minetown.
You entered a temple.
You attained the rank of Priest.
You completed the Gnomish Mines.
You entered the Big Room.
You defeated Medusa.
You learned the tune to open and close the Castle's drawbridge.
You entered Gehennom.
You attained the rank of Curate.
You had the Bell of Opening.
You attained the rank of Canon.
You had the Candelabrum of Invocation.
You had the Book of the Dead.
You gained access to Moloch's Sanctum.
You reached the Elemental Planes.
You reached the Astral Plane.
You delivered the Amulet of Yendor.
You ascended!
The Elemental Planes:
Astral Plane: <- You are here.
Some temples.
Plane of Water:
Plane of Fire:
Plane of Air:
Plane of Earth:
The Dungeons of Doom: levels 1 to 25
Level 1:
One way stairs up to The Elemental Planes.
Level 2:
A general store.
Stairs down to The Gnomish Mines.
Level 3:
A fountain.
Level 4:
An armor shop.
Level 5:
Level 6:
Many fountains.
Oracle of Delphi.
Level 7:
Stairs up to Sokoban, level 6.
Level 8:
A general store.
Level 9:
A general store, a fountain.
Level 10:
Level 11:
A very big room.
Level 12:
A general store.
Level 13:
Portal to The Quest.
Level 14:
Portal to Fort Ludios.
Level 15:
A primitive area.
Level 16:
Level 17:
A fountain.
Level 18:
Some fountains.
Level 19:
A fountain.
Level 20:
A fountain.
Level 21:
Level 22:
A temple to Mars, a sink.
Level 23:
Level 24:
An altar to Mars, a fountain.
Level 25:
A fountain.
The castle (play notes "EBBFD" to open or close drawbridge).
Connection to Gehennom.
Gehennom: levels 26 to 49
Level 26:
A temple, a grave.
Valley of the Dead.
Level 27:
Level 28:
Level 29:
Level 30:
Level 31:
Many fountains.
Level 32:
Level 33:
Level 34:
Level 35:
Level 36:
Level 37:
Stairs up to Vlad's Tower, level 36.
Level 38:
Level 39:
Level 40:
Some shops, an altar, many graves.
Level 41:
Level 42:
Level 43:
Level 44:
Level 45:
Level 46:
Level 47:
Level 48:
Level 49:
A temple, many graves.
Moloch's Sanctum.
The Gnomish Mines: levels 3 to 11
Level 3:
Level 4:
Level 5:
Many shops, a temple, some fountains.
Level 6:
Level 7:
Level 8:
Level 9:
Level 10:
Level 11:
Some fountains.
The Quest: levels 1 to 6
Level 1:
A temple to Mars, many trees.
Completed quest for the Arch Priest.
Level 2:
Level 3:
A temple, a grave.
Level 4:
A grave.
Level 5:
Level 6:
Sokoban: levels 6 up to 3
Level 3:
Solved.
Level 4:
Solved.
Level 5:
Solved.
Level 6:
Solved.
Fort Ludios:
Level 1:
Fort Ludios.
Vlad's Tower: levels 36 up to 34
Level 34:
Level 35:
Level 36:
Goodbye miller the Demigod...
You went to your reward with 3719288 points,
The Mitre of Holiness (worth 2000 zorkmids and 5000 points)
The Bell of Opening (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
The Candelabrum of Invocation (worth 5000 zorkmids and 12500 points)
The Book of the Dead (worth 10000 zorkmids and 25000 points)
Stormbringer (worth 8000 zorkmids and 20000 points)
Dragonbane (worth 500 zorkmids and 1250 points)
Sting (worth 800 zorkmids and 2000 points)
Trollsbane (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Orcrist (worth 2000 zorkmids and 5000 points)
Ogresmasher (worth 200 zorkmids and 500 points)
Demonbane (worth 2500 zorkmids and 6250 points)
12 emeralds (worth 30000 zorkmids),
11 amethyst stones (worth 6600 zorkmids),
7 diamonds (worth 28000 zorkmids),
7 rubies (worth 24500 zorkmids),
7 chrysoberyl stones (worth 4900 zorkmids),
7 worthless pieces of colored glass,
6 jacinth stones (worth 19500 zorkmids),
5 aquamarine stones (worth 7500 zorkmids),
5 garnet stones (worth 3500 zorkmids),
4 topaz stones (worth 3600 zorkmids),
4 jasper stones (worth 2000 zorkmids),
3 dilithium crystals (worth 13500 zorkmids),
3 black opals (worth 7500 zorkmids),
3 turquoise stones (worth 6000 zorkmids),
3 obsidian stones (worth 600 zorkmids),
3 jade stones (worth 900 zorkmids),
2 citrine stones (worth 3000 zorkmids),
2 amber stones (worth 2000 zorkmids),
2 fluorite stones (worth 800 zorkmids),
1 sapphire (worth 3000 zorkmids),
1 jet stone (worth 850 zorkmids),
1 opal (worth 800 zorkmids),
3 amulets of life saving (worth 450 zorkmids),
1 amulet of reflection (worth 150 zorkmids),
1 amulet of magical breathing (worth 150 zorkmids),
1 amulet of flying (worth 150 zorkmids),
and 0 pieces of gold, after 93359 moves.
You were level 19 with a maximum of 289 hit points when you ascended.
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