IF Haikus
Paul O'Brian
http://www.igs.net/~mtr/haiku-reviews.html), and thought it might be fun
to try the same thing for IF. For those of you who don't know (or don't
remember), a haiku is a 3 line poem with a 5-7-5 syllable pattern -- the
first line has 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third
line 5 syllables.
Here are a few I've come up with. (WARNING: Possible spoilage ahead,
depending on how strictly you view spoliers.)
Zork I
------
I'm in a dark place
Without a lantern. I hear
the footsteps of grues.
Zork II
-------
All my things are here
But I'm floating above them,
helpless. Damn wizard!
Curses
------
I can't find the map.
I never knew my house was
so complicated!
Spider and Web
--------------
Yes. No. Yes. Oh, I
thought you were telling the truth.
Let's try it again.
Photopia
--------
Oh, I'm starting to
understand it all now. That
means I -- stop. Stop. Stop!!
Anybody else?
--
Paul O'Brian obr...@colorado.edu http://ucsu.colorado.edu/~obrian
The pulse-pounding, electrifying, edge-of-your-seat event you've been waiting
for is here! Yes, SPAG #21 is out! http://www.sparkynet.com/spag
J.D. Berry
Paul O'Brian <obr...@ucsu.Colorado.EDU> wrote:
> Haikus anyone?
Planetfall
----------
What's the deal with Floyd?
Just give me what I need, now
You annoying ‘bot.
LGOP
-------
It’s only missing--
With so many sex almosts--
Leisure Suit Larry
Muse:
-------
If one has not looks
Cash can “buy” one a young wife…
I don’t have either
Spellcasting 101
--------------------
An amusing game
Until one of the many
Unwinnable states
Jim
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Lucian Paul Smith
: I recently saw a movie haiku website (at
: http://www.igs.net/~mtr/haiku-reviews.html), and thought it might be fun
: to try the same thing for IF.
Those were great! Here are some more, only you have to guess the games.
Cuddly, plush, and soft
And yet I must solve puzzles
Tommorow, we lunch.
Today I traipse through
Magical beach encounters.
God, I hate my job.
There's symbolism
In everything around here.
Still, I kick the head.
Compliance: 0
I c@n dO my 0wn th^nki&g:
Ab0rt, REtrY, F@1L?
Walking home, I think
About that hottie, Susan.
Eeeagh! Lions!
Do you use GOTO?
Will you hire me anyway?
The phone never ring.
-Lucian
irene
>
>Cuddly, plush, and soft
>And yet I must solve puzzles
>Tommorow, we lunch.
A Bear's Night Out
>Today I traipse through
>Magical beach encounters.
>God, I hate my job.
Sunset Over Savannah
>There's symbolism
>In everything around here.
>Still, I kick the head.
Losing Your Grip
>Compliance: 0
>I c@n dO my 0wn th^nki&g:
>Ab0rt, REtrY, F@1L?
Bad Machine
>Walking home, I think
>About that hottie, Susan.
>Eeeagh! Lions!
Cattus Attrox
>Do you use GOTO?
>Will you hire me anyway?
>The phone never ring.
Dangerous Curves
Did I miss any? :) This is fun!
irene
-----------------------------------------------------------
Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com.
Up to 100 minutes free!
http://www.keen.com
Joe Mason
>>Do you use GOTO?
>>Will you hire me anyway?
>>The phone never ring.
>
>Dangerous Curves
Umm... What?
Joe
Joe Mason
>Do you use GOTO?
>Will you hire me anyway?
>The phone never ring.
This one's an amalgamation:
>PICK UP THE PHONE BOOTH
My blood pumper is wronged.
It works flip-flop.
And a recreation of a great moment on the newsgroup:
I Japanese girl,
I like shopping, movie,
Do you like movie?
Joe
irene
>irene <icallaci...@csupomona.edu.invalid> wrote:
>>>Do you use GOTO?
>>>Will you hire me anyway?
>>>The phone never ring.
>>
>
>Umm... What?
Bzzzt! I lose. I thought it was Dangerous Curves because:
1. The player can use GO TO <location> instead of standard
compass directions.
2. The game ends immediately if the PC isn't hired.
3. The phone in the PC's office never rings (and some players
complained about this).
Second April
Who and where am I?
Blue glows, blood traces intrigue.
A grim ending waits.
Sun gone, I have rock.
Language meanders warmly.
Multiple meanings.
Do I love myself?
Steamed, frosty, I slay office
fiends, meet Ed Asner.
Nursery rhymes and life
merge when mother disappears.
Time to wreak havoc.
Quest done, Mom displeased.
"Undo violent deeds, now!"
Result: more bloodshed.
Scheming minister
bumps off despicable foes.
Very unseemly.
I'll push Mom around,
befoul bathroom again, eat.
Bugs are everywhere.
Through a white door lie
mushrooms, sundials, fallout,
stories to rewrite.
Mail delivered, but
Changed village gets the boot.
Cat, stone might help now.
Duncan Stevens
dns...@merle.acns.nwu.edu
But buy me a singer to sing one song--
Song about nothing--song about sheep--
Over and over, all day long;
Patch me again my thread-bare sleep.
--Edna St. Vincent Millay
Brown_Recluse
<nickmo...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> Broken-down teen girl,
> cutoffs under desert sun --
> exploitation game?
a little of the old i-o i-o
Brown_Recluse
<jcm...@uwaterloo.ca> wrote:
> irene <icallaci...@csupomona.edu.invalid> wrote:
> >>Do you use GOTO?
> >>Will you hire me anyway?
> >>The phone never ring.
> >
> >Dangerous Curves
>
> Umm... What?
>
> Joe
I think it was called HR Department.
Interview simulator.
Nick Montfort
Lady Liberty
was not planted in this park
earlier today
Broken-down teen girl,
cutoffs under desert sun --
exploitation game?
After a decade
all seems rosy -- the light, though,
is Rockvil's sunset
Paper deadline looms
and, at Tech, worse is afoot:
Cthulhu lurks about
Purply and greenly
the aliens require
a precious keepsake
Sight's sense remains slack
within dark geometries,
but (sniff) it's near
Art show opening,
the thoughts of those four painting
quite different pictures
-Nick M.
Joe Mason
>>>>Do you use GOTO?
>>>>Will you hire me anyway?
>>>>The phone never ring.
>>>
>>>Dangerous Curves
>>
>>Umm... What?
>
>
>1. The player can use GO TO <location> instead of standard
> compass directions.
>2. The game ends immediately if the PC isn't hired.
>3. The phone in the PC's office never rings (and some players
> complained about this).
Aha.
So do you know what it *really* is?
Joe
Nick Montfort
> > Broken-down teen girl,
> > cutoffs under desert sun --
> > exploitation game?
>
> a little of the old i-o i-o
It's off to play we go.
A.J. Franzman
>
> I Japanese girl,
> I like shopping, movie,
> Do you like movie?
>
>Joe
Great moment? Perhaps.
English not her Mother Tongue.
And not a Haiku!
(5-7-5, remember?)
A.J.
-----------------------------------------
Alan "A.J." Franzman
My real e-mail address does not compute.
-----------------------------------------
Carl Muckenhoupt
Chase beloved enemy
Through a hundred years.
Wellhouse by streambed
Maze of twisty passages
Where it all began
The mayor is dead!
Wander around aimlessly...
What? Oh, it's over.
Deadly ice magic
Holds sway beneath the mundane -
Sins must be contained.
Mike Fessler
Though strangely transmogrified --
That's right! Coke Is It!
Paul O'Brian
On Wed, 26 Jul 2000, Carl Muckenhoupt wrote:
> Time is out of joint.
> Chase beloved enemy
> Through a hundred years.
Jigsaw
> Wellhouse by streambed
> Maze of twisty passages
> Where it all began
Adventure
> The mayor is dead!
> Wander around aimlessly...
> What? Oh, it's over.
No Irene, this one isn't Dangerous Curves either! :)
Detective.
> Deadly ice magic
> Holds sway beneath the mundane -
> Sins must be contained.
John's Fire Witch
irene
Human Resources Stories?
Joe Mason
>I'll play!
You guys are much better at this than I.
>Who and where am I?
>Blue glows, blood traces intrigue.
>A grim ending waits.
Is this Babel?
>Sun gone, I have rock.
>Language meanders warmly.
>Multiple meanings.
For A Change
>Do I love myself?
>Steamed, frosty, I slay office
>fiends, meet Ed Asner.
Little Blue Men
>Nursery rhymes and life
>merge when mother disappears.
>Time to wreak havoc.
Um... um... I'm ashamed to say I forget the exact title. "Mother Loose"?
Something like that?
>Quest done, Mom displeased.
>"Undo violent deeds, now!"
>Result: more bloodshed.
Zero Sum Game
>Scheming minister
>bumps off despicable foes.
>Very unseemly.
Jacks or Better etc.
>I'll push Mom around,
>befoul bathroom again, eat.
>Bugs are everywhere.
Ick. Coming Home. Die, despicable game, die!
>Through a white door lie
>mushrooms, sundials, fallout,
>stories to rewrite.
Trinity
>Mail delivered, but
>Changed village gets the boot.
>Cat, stone might help now.
Wishbringer
>Duncan Stevens
>dns...@merle.acns.nwu.edu
Wait - that doesn't have the right syllable count!
Joe
Joe Mason
>>So do you know what it *really* is?
>
>Human Resources Stories?
That was my pick, too!
Joe
Joe Mason
>>And a recreation of a great moment on the newsgroup:
>>
>> I Japanese girl,
>> I like shopping, movie,
>> Do you like movie?
>>
>>Joe
>
>Great moment? Perhaps.
>English not her Mother Tongue.
>And not a Haiku!
>
>(5-7-5, remember?)
Doh! Miscounted!
Joe
Ryan Franklin
> Second April <dns...@merle.acns.nwu.edu> wrote:
>>Scheming minister
>>bumps off despicable foes.
>>Very unseemly.
>
> Jacks or Better etc.
Varicella, I think.
--
"furniture fetish" is five syllables long
ry...@cobweb.scarymonsters.net
Bennett Standeven
"Joe Mason" <jcm...@uwaterloo.ca> wrote in message
news:SQEf5.220598$7o1.5...@news2.rdc1.on.home.com...[...]
>
> >Scheming minister
> >bumps off despicable foes.
> >Very unseemly.
>
> Jacks or Better etc.
>
Uh oh... I would have called it a scheming Pope rather than a scheming
minister, though... (Then again, that doesn't have enough syllables.)
A.J. Franzman
>-------
>It’s only missing--
>With so many sex almosts--
>Leisure Suit Larry
Almosts? Have you tried LEWD mode?
Aeron Pax
the last line gives away the solution
of the problem that had me stuck for
the longest time....
In Nagasaki
children play the days away
say origami
Nick Montfort
> Haiku over my favorite IF of all times,
> the last line gives away the solution
> of the problem that had me stuck for
> the longest time....
Which brings up an interesting idea. If no one's going to write an all-
Haiku IF, at least one could write an all-haiku walkthrough.
-Nick M.
J.D. Berry
afra...@aol.compute.com (A.J. Franzman) wrote:
> >LGOP
> >-------
> >It’s only missing--
> >With so many sex almosts--
> >Leisure Suit Larry
>
> Almosts? Have you tried LEWD mode?
>
It's been well over ten years since I played, so perhaps I am
mistaken. I seem to remember the game being raunchy at that level, but
no REAL sex. Just like LSL, most of the sexual content was generated
in the player's own mind not in the game itself.
Now I'm thinking of that Dating Game bit in one of the LSL. Where I
knew however I responded to her questions, it would not go over well.
So I went overboard with embarrassingly filthy replies, only to hear a
stock "that was stupid, bachelor number 1" answer. In LGOP, you the
player can come up with things, but the game filters in a similar
fashion.
Or does it? Hey, I was just trying to haiku here. Go easy! ;-)
Canoe canoe?
Jim
Lelah Conrad
Sinistra guineas -
Distressed damsel runs amok,
swashes all buckles.
___________
"Analyze this, please!"
Swift the duffer shows his face,
sarge to help solve crime.
_____________
Choked by greed and dust,
my doom entombed forever,
mere treasures grasping.
;) Lelah
Ricardo Dague
hottub, apple, girl -- romance
toilet, singing -- death
- Ricardo
Nym
>Sinistra guineas -
>Distressed damsel runs amok,
>swashes all buckles.
Plundered Hearts?
Carl Muckenhoupt
Frog mutters nonsense
Witch demands conversation
I am really stuck
Sean T Barrett
Bed will be the death of you
Time to get to work
Sean
TableSaw
There's no such thing as a grue
I'm the boss of you
You are near a SHOP!
Paperclips falls from the sky!
The first to FOOD wins!
Window open closed
Even deliberate zarf
Does not know the end
Despite planet's name
You don't get a BFG
To use in mazes
While hunting for Pearl
Some amusing national
Anecdotes are told
Here's a general one. In rhyme even:
>XYZZY, >PLOVER, >PLUGH
A hollow voice answers you
"HELLO, SAILOR" too
--
Tony
"Even if you're right, that's one plus one plus two plus one not one
plus two plus one plus one."
--Wadsworth, Clue
Chris Carlson
9:05! I loved this one. Can anybody point me towards some other well-
crafted, super-brief games?
>
> Sean
>
--
-=* Chris
Joe Mason
>You are near a SHOP!
>Paperclips falls from the sky!
>The first to FOOD wins!
What's this one?
Joe
Arcum Dagsson
(Lelah Conrad) wrote:
> My turn!!
> ___________
>
> "Analyze this, please!"
> Swift the duffer shows his face,
> sarge to help solve crime.
>
>
Wasn't into Infocoms detective fiction, sadly.
> _____________
>
> Choked by greed and dust,
> my doom entombed forever,
> mere treasures grasping.
>
>
>
Infidel
> ;) Lelah
--
--Arcum Dagsson
"You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand
there naming Beatles songs?"
David Cornelson
news:Arcum_Dagsson-879...@news.randori.com...
And now...
A sleepless lion,
A stranger on a street,
Man cries, "Eeaagh, Lions!!!"
...
Dragon in a town,
Three volunteers meet their doom,
Hero wins the day!
...
Chicken on a leash,
X-Men investigate road,
Aliens kill you.
...
Devil's dirty deeds,
Kids innocence jeopardized,
Gnome does Devil's work.
Jarb
Adam Biltcliffe
Dan 'inky' Shiovitz's SpeedIF 8 entry, YOU ARE A CHEF! Highly
entertaining in a vaguely worrying kind of way.
jw
Mr. Sabre
>"Even if you're right, that's one plus one plus two plus one not one
>plus two plus one plus one."
> --Wadsworth, Clue
Tim Curry was great in that movie. You know, that would make a good IF game,
wouldn't it?
Sabre
"...No wrong, ...no right, I'm gonna tell you, there's no black and no
white..." -- Queen, One Vision
"Imagination is more important than any knowledge." -- Albert Einstein
Paul O'Brian
> condom, knife -- escape
> hottub, apple, girl -- romance
> toilet, singing -- death
I have no idea what game this is.
Paul O'Brian
played, SpeedIF entries and the like.
On Fri, 28 Jul 2000, TableSaw wrote:
> Magic isn't true
> There's no such thing as a grue
> I'm the boss of you
Zork Grand Inquisitor?
> Window open closed
> Even deliberate zarf
> Does not know the end
Space Under The Window?
> Despite planet's name
> You don't get a BFG
> To use in mazes
Countdown to Doom?
> While hunting for Pearl
> Some amusing national
> Anecdotes are told
Firebird?
Adam J. Thornton
Nick Montfort <nickmo...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>Which brings up an interesting idea. If no one's going to write an all-
>Haiku IF, at least one could write an all-haiku walkthrough.
SPOILER:
Silence of the lambs.
To win, but one simple thing:
You must SILENCE LAMBS.
Adam
--
ad...@princeton.edu
"My eyes say their prayers to her / Sailors ring her bell / Like a moth
mistakes a light bulb / For the moon and goes to hell." -- Tom Waits
Adam J. Thornton
Paul O'Brian <obr...@ucsu.Colorado.EDU> wrote:
>On Thu, 27 Jul 2000, Ricardo Dague wrote:
>
>> condom, knife -- escape
>> hottub, apple, girl -- romance
>> toilet, singing -- death
>
>I have no idea what game this is.
>
Softporn Adventure, I think.
David Given
TableSaw <adel...@umail.ucsb.edu> writes:
[...]
> Window open closed
> Even deliberate zarf
> Does not know the end
Easy. _The Space Under the Window_.
[...]
> Here's a general one. In rhyme even:
>
>>XYZZY, >PLOVER, >PLUGH
> A hollow voice answers you
> "HELLO, SAILOR" too
Don't tell me, don't tell me...
--
+- David Given ---------------McQ-+ "Those who do not understand Unix are
| Work: d...@tao-group.com | forced to reinvent it, poorly." --- Henry
| Play: dgi...@iname.com | Spencer
+- http://wired.st-and.ac.uk/~dg -+
Mark Musante - Sun Microsystems
> In article <8lnp7m$b5m$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,
> Nick Montfort <nickmo...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> >Which brings up an interesting idea. If no one's going to write an all-
> >Haiku IF, at least one could write an all-haiku walkthrough.
>
> SPOILER:
> Silence of the lambs.
> To win, but one simple thing:
> You must SILENCE LAMBS.
Yay!
-=- Mark -=-
Nym
IF of course!
Nym.
Matthew T. Russotto
}It sounds like a Leisure Suit Larry game I played ages ago, but that isn't
}IF of course!
The original LSL was a graphical adaptation of the Softporn adventure.
If one was IF, the other was.
--
Matthew T. Russotto russ...@pond.com
"Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice, and moderation in pursuit
of justice is no virtue."
Carl Muckenhoupt
russ...@wanda.vf.pond.com (Matthew T. Russotto) wrote:
> The original LSL was a graphical adaptation of the Softporn adventure.
> If one was IF, the other was.
For that matter, I've noticed a few Sierra-style graphic adventures at
GMD: the Hugo trilogy (Hugo's House of Horrors at al.), another
called "Lord Avalot D'Argent" and at least one other. These are all in
the mold of the original King's Quest: you have an on-screen avatar
that you pilot around obstacles, but you also get to type commands into
a text parser.
You can argue about whether or not it's appropriate material for the
Archive, if you're so inclined. I have no problem with it. It's not
as if the Archive is about to be overwhelmed with freely-
redistributable King's Quest imitations.
Carl Muckenhoupt
Adam Biltcliffe
> Nym <n...@nym.com.au> wrote:
> }It sounds like a Leisure Suit Larry game I played ages ago, but that
isn't
> }IF of course!
>
> The original LSL was a graphical adaptation of the Softporn adventure.
> If one was IF, the other was.
In much the same way that a film based on a book is also a book?
jw
Matthew T. Russotto
No. In much the same way that an illustrated book is still a book.
Konnrad / T Taylor
In Haiku.
See nine bananas.
Pass them to the flaming head.
And complete the game.
TOM