[IFCOMP]Santoonie Reviews
Lunsford Lomax
scores, as we are not approved judges. We simply rated them on our on
Santoonie system. More reviews to come. Enjoy.
Santoonie Corporation Reviews of IFComp2003 Games:
Reviewed in order played, only a psychiatrist possibly could determine
why we played in this order:
Episode in the life of an Artist – by Peter Eastman
Review by : Tilli, CEO, Santoonie Corporation
X me : "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Well I think I look
pretty good.
I : I am empty-handed.
Xyzzy : I don't know the word "xyzzy"
Shit: I don't know the word "shit".
Fart: I don't know the word "fart".
The title really threw me off on this one. The game develops into
something more complex. This game has a nice layout and gives you a
fitting ‘day in the life' scenario. The author allows the player
character much freedom, from taking a shower to cooking up a quick egg
breakfast. A short ‘railroad' gets you to the action, which takes
place at your employer. I found the player's job to be very amusing
and enjoyed making wodget complexes. Something right out of a Willy
Wonka world. The employment area is immense for a short text
adventure which is good. Lots to do. Lots to find. The quest
becomes, a ‘what now' after a mechanical failure on the assembly line.
Once you find out what's going on, you've solved the game.
Interesting quotes abound this story and nice personal touches from
the author. It played very similar to CoffeeQuest II from last year's
comp but without the insane humor. Possibly contains hidden comedy
from IF crowd, a lot of references hardly understood. The walkthrough
was not needed, there was a few back and forths until I found the
scripted element which continued me on. I rate this 6 based on it's
simple entertaining quality and lack of bugs. A solid TADS game. –
Tilli, Santoonie Corporation
Rating : 6 Playing time : 1 hour and 10 minutes
The Erudition Chamber – by Daniel Freas
Review by : A.P. Hill, AOV Services
x me : Rough around the edges might be a nice way to put it. You've
been running yourself ragged lately trying to keep up with all of your
studies.
I : You are empty-handed.
xyzzy : Nothing Happens.
shit : I don't know the word "shit".
Fart : I don't know the word "fart".
A game that could very well replace the brahms hickman tests of most
Human Resource departments across the nation. A maze of riddles and
tricks stand before you, each with unique solutions that ultimately
will determine your profession within a temple of mages. A nice
backdrop is described to what basically is a test of wit. Some
puzzles were exciting, others were mundane from the start ( Valves and
Pulley's tend to produce a ‘Oh brother' from me, but alas I pressed
on.). After a succession of puzzles, the game eruptly ends giving you
a title versus a score based on your predessor decisions. Yours truly
was a Sentient Accurate ( 2 pts. For Seer and 2 pts for Artisan ). A
nice start to what could transpire as a cool story. The game leaves
you wishing you could continue now that you are employed. Perhaps a
sequel where you enter in your title. This piece of IF was probably a
tremendous work to have multiple endings, so I rate it a 5 for the
effort.
- A.P. Hill, AOV Services.
Rating : 5 Playing Time: 1 hour
Amnesia – by Crazydwarf
Review by : Fitzhugh Lee, AOV Services
x me : You look about the same as always.
I : You are empty-handed.
Xyzzy : I don't know the word "xyzzy".
Shit : I don't know the word "shit".
Fart : I don't know the word "fart".
Well, you would think that I could describe this game and review it
being bias to the fact it was done by a youngster. But the truth is,
talent only gets worse as you get older. Therefore, we will hold no
special merits for the next few sentences. This game is common.
Common in the sense, that it contains bugs, misspellings, and unwanted
author tidbits. The real crime is the lack of comedy when comedy is
attempted. I would describe it as, perhaps, Donald Trump trying to do
a Steve Martin stand up act. If in fact this is the first piece of
work for this author and if he or she is in fact six, then we can say,
okay, there are the fundamentals in place to start an IF career. I do
believe that the fundamentals are probably more sound than Emily
Short's first piece of IF, so in that case, I rank this game a 2. Oh
I forgot to describe game. Island. Jungle. Mountain. Treasure
Chest. I bet you could name the other seven items to explore. – Fitz
Lee, AOV Services.
Rating : 2 Playing time : 22 minutes
Bio – by David Linder
Review by : Peter Lansford, Phd., Santoonie Corporation
x me : You look about the same as always.
I : You are empty-handed.
Xyzzy : I don't know the word "xyzzy".
Shit : I don't know the word "shit".
Fart : I don't know the word "fart".
Bio is a solid TADS game taking place in a security complex. Though
this genre has been done several times before, the author does a good
job of spacing out the clues and items required to solve a mysterious
murder which awakens you from slumber. The game starts out with a
‘gas' situation that makes you act quickly, followed by a fight
against the hunger timer, actually transformed into a wound timer.
Solve the game before you bleed to death. I couldn't get into the CEO
office to the east and several misspellings might indicate game was
rushed to completion. At any rate, the drama and story was nice, a
sense of mystery. But like most short games, the mystery becomes very
apparent in several moves. I like the layout of the complex and the
interactive NPC's. A final struggle with villains could be more
exciting, but I'll take a victory nonetheless. A rat included in the
game is a ‘Super RAT' because I could take him in and out of my vial
of acid without causing him harm. Super RAT! Sounds like a good
pseudonym for my next online romance. I like the game, I rate it a
6.- Peter Lansford, Santoonie Corporation.
Rating: 6 Playing time: 45 minutes
The Recruit – by Mike Sousa
Review by : A.P. Hill, AOV Services
x me : Due to a recent mishap with some chewing gum and a Soviet Gulag
Barner that was just declined his green card, you are wearing a
subdued mohawk. You are of slight build and have an optimistic
disposition.
I : Except for the notes scrawled on your palm, you are empty-handed.
Xyzzy : You shout 'XYZZY'. A moment later you hear Sharon respond.
"Hahah, Adrien, that only works in text adventures, not in real life!"
shit : Such language from one your age!
Fart : I don't know the word "fart".
This game most likely will rank high among the competition
thoroughbreds due to it's sickening charm and personal touch. Who
wouldn't vote for game that includes your name as a possible
protagonist. All biases of such butt kissing aside, let me continue.
I did like the opportunity to ‘choose your character' but I failed to
find A.P. Hill, therefore I am not pleased. Also, who in their right
mind would make a TADS game look like a Z-Code game? Another minus.
Now, with the good stuff. This game is s-o-l-i-d, with most every
possible verb and noun warranted in a situation available. Clever wit
and excellent writing. I love the paragraphing techniques. A
thorough hint system on several levels accompanies other enhancements.
The author disallows the ‘take all' ‘get all' option. This game is
all about puzzles. 100% thinkers game. If you are looking for
exploration, this isn't it. The author uses colored rooms with each
room offering fundamentals associated with adventuring, if you were to
ever do that someday. I did fairly well with the first few rooms
before resorting to the hint system. Probably not because I lacked
ingeniouty but time rather. I'm willing to give the fan/light switch
puzzle a high mark and should be awarded a silver trophy or something.
The others weren't spellbinding, but when you put everything
together, a splendid piece of work. I thank the author for
representing TADS well, even under the ilk of a Z appearance. The
author would probably do exceptional well in the future, if he went on
his own two feet and left the butt kissing to MarkM. I rank this a 8.
– A.P. Hill, AOV Services
Rank: 8 Playing Time: 2 hours
Adoo's Stinky Story – by B. Perry
Review by : Lunsford L. Lomax, Santoonie Corporation
X me: You look like you're glad to take a break from college. You
feel that way, too.
I: You are carrying nothing.
Xyzzy: You wait a minute and nothing happens. Guess you'll have to
figure this out the old fashioned way.
Shit: Real adventurers do not use such language.
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize.
A house romp with a ton of NPC interaction. In this story, your quest
is to create a stink bomb from everyday household items. However the
‘how to' instructions are insane and when you find out what
ingredients it takes to do the job, well, it just doesn't make sense.
The game has quite a few good qualities: Large vocabulary, hint
system, grammar, NPC interaction, and setting. The author mixes room
descriptions well with directions letting you know your options for
movement. It's always difficult not to clutter a sentence with tons
of directions and give a decent view at the same time, but the author
does well here. On the negative side, the story was structured too
much to allow any sense of freedom for the player character. Sure you
could move about or take a nap, but you really were limited in the big
picture. The ‘mom' and ‘dad'…"This is mom and dad's bed…." Just made
me feel like a trespasser. And why does Mom and Dad have a very large
mirror in their room hmm? I think better descriptions would remedy
such feelings. There is a lot to do in this game, and lots of items.
However, you may need the ‘walkthru' to figure out what to do with the
items, because some of the requirements just don't make sense. I will
admit I had to use walk through on occasion, but I don't feel like
less of an adventurer. If anything, it would make me a lousy house
guest. I give this a 4 for difficulty without reason. – Lunsford
Lomax
Rating: 4 Playing time: 1 hour and ten minutes
Atomic Heart – by Stefan Blixt
Review by : Tilli, CEO Santoonie Corporation
X me: You are a GSTS Model J-01 robot….(too many sentences follow for
this review)
I: You are carrying nothing.
Xyzzy: The customer isn't always right; everyone is always wrong.
Shit: Real adventurers do not use such language.
Fart: That's a verb I don't recognize.
Let me first start off by saying, this game offers a unique venture
into something unique in IF. It reminds me of the AD&D module S3, in
which a space ship lands in the flanaess. The author makes use of
words in a tricky manner to make sure you understand that you are a
robot. For instance, a shoe is known as a ‘trainer'. The coolest
almost ingenious creation is the black box. You can view this when
something goes wrong (when you mess up). I became stuck with some
‘guess the right verbage' to continue, but for the most part, a good
narrative. I'll have to admit that I didn't finish the game and
became frustrated having to resort to reviewing my own Operating
System several times. The game then became like a real life Crystal
Reports program fairly quickly and I lost interest as it suddenly
became like ‘work'. It's almost like creating a game that requires
you to complete a quarterly report for stockholders in a spreadsheet
in oct dword format. Ugh. So, half is good, half is bad. This game
is unique that I was awesomely inspired by the black box ingenuity but
let down by the difficulty. It's the same reason, I play Dungeons &
Dragons instead of Middle Earth (did anyone ever happen to see the
rule system for that). The only time, I'm eager to work that hard is
when I open up a box of Avalon Hill, but by then I'm prepared. I rate
a middle road 5. – Tilli, Santoonie Corporation.
Rating: 5 Playing Time: 45 minutes
Baluthar – by Chris M. Wischer
Review by : Lunsford L. Lomax, Santoonie Corporation
X me: You have the slightly wildly appearance of a man who has not
thought about his looks for some years.
I: You are carrying nothing.
Xyzzy: Nothing happens. You hear the hollow voice of Baluthar
laughing in your head.
Shit: Real adventurers do not use such language
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize.
After playing a few silly games, I wanted so much to enjoy a basic
dungeon crawl with a little action here and a little action there.
And upon loading Baluthar, it seemed I was heading in the right
direction. Survey Says! …hrrrrnt. You start out in your dwelling
which must lie about 17 feet and 3 inches away from the first site of
danger, a ghoul living in your well. You know, when you adorn your
cloak, done your dagger and select your rations, you expect to
‘venture' out toward a quest. You rarely expect to find the entrance
under your doormat. But alas, tis. I will give credit now to the
goodness of the game. It is well described, and uses darkness as it's
mystery. Everyone knows that words written in room decriptions shine
like beacons in the night sky, and words not written create the mood.
So yes, this game is moody is a crafty sense. To that I enjoyed. But
very soon, the craftiness becomes a bore. You know, its over done if
you notice that it is over written. So, I move along its corridors
and soon become irritated so I review the walkthrough, and then go
‘ugh?', make a few more moves, ‘ugh?'. Oh well, I'm bored. I guess
that's why it's not good to make walkthroughs. I rate this game a 4.
Not sure why.
Rating : 4 Playing time: 1 hour
Caffeination – by : Mike Loegering
Review by : Tilli, CEO Santoonie Corporation
X me: As good looking as ever.
I: A caffeination freebie card and a dime.
Xyzzy: That's not a verb I recognize.
Shit: You curse a blue streak, but feel no better after uttering such
shocking language.
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize.
I played Coffee Quest II and really enjoyed it. I approached this
game with belated enthusiasm but it wasn't quite the same. I just had
a very difficult time navigating the office environment similar to
CQII. Things didn't work out for me. The characters seemed too real
and stuffed. And I had to use the walk through fairly quickly in the
game and once discovering a lot of ask/tell to NPC's, well, that put
the icing on the cake. I was done with this game, it was just too
complicated for a text adventure. The puzzles weren't the
complication too much, but the ackwardness of working with NPC's and
timing. And there wasn't any comedy to spur me along for the ride, so
I apologize for not finishing this story, if the best was yet to come,
then I'm the looser. I rate this game a 4, low for the difficulty and
high because it's about coffee. (I'm a fan). –Tilli, CEO Santoonie
Corporation.
Rating: 4 Playing time: 1 hour
Gourmet – by Aaron Reed EDITORS CHOICE AWARD
Review by : Fitzhugh Lee, AOV Services
X me: Oh, a little harried, a bit dishelvelled, but every inch, the
up-and-coming young gourmaund poised to take the world of fine cuisine
by storm.
I: Your chef's hat ( being worn )
Xyzzy: That's not a verb I recognize
Shit: None of that now! This is a family restaurant.
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize
I passed this game to Tilli, CEO Santoonie Corporation for his opinion
on it, because frankly, I think this is the exact type of game that SC
tries to implicate to it's fan base. A great piece of comedy in an
interactive format, greets you upon loading. What we have here is a
restaurant in which you are the owner. However, prepare to be the
cook, waiter, and manager for the duration of the game as everything
that could possibly go wrong does. Definitely ‘fawlty towers-esque',
you will be running back and forth before too long, your main mission
to please your customers, especially one, Mrs. Davenport who is in
town to rate your fine cuisine. The author's writing is timely,
mingling room descriptions, real-time situations and random scripts.
He touches it off with just the right sarcasm or comedy to keep you
enthralled in the action. I especially would like to point out two
lines in particular which demonstrate this well:
X family: Oh, they're all the same, aren't they? Stuffy
intellectuals whose grandparents paid for everything they ever
achieved, with fat checkbooks and nothing better to do than complain.
Bastards. This particular family consists of a smarmy man and two
chubby boys, all in matching tuxes, and a particularly frigid looking
matron. You smile warmly.
(the line…'you smile warmly' is awesome in that element. )
The other line involves the lobster which swims back and forth in his
fish tank blankly throughout the game, but notices you when you hack
off your fingertip. He describes the lobster as being hungry for your
blood in an eerie way. You become more frightened when you discover
him missing from the tank.
The whole concept of the game is crafted well, the mission makes
sense, the story is entertaining and the characters are gems. The
many items match the area, their uses all work in harmony. Even
decorations produce funny tidbits and when you go a wrong direction, a
nice description replaces the boring, ‘You can't go that way'. I did
find a few bugs and errors, but nothing to take away from the
enjoyment or memesis. If Santoonie Corporation had any real money,
they would accept your resume for immediate consideration. I rate
this game, an award winning 9. Well done. –Fitz Lee, AOV Services.
Rating: 9 Playing time: 2 hours
Slouching Towards Bedlam – by Foster & Ravipinto
Review by A.P. Hill, AOV Services
X me: That's rather difficult without a mirror
I: Nothing at the moment
Xyzzy: That's not a verb I recognize.
Shit: Real adventurers do not use such language.
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize.
/(fictionreadgame/sucks/probableyes)/  Do you understand any
of that? Let me rephrase, Do you desire to understand any of that? I
rate this game NR. A.P. Hill, AOV Services.
Rating : Not Ratable Playing Time: 39 seconds
A Paper Moon – by Andrew Krywaniuk
Review by Lipe, Producer, Santoonie Corporation
X me: You are Sam Haversham. You live in a room above your parents'
garage. Your hobbies include sleeping, watching TV, and watching TV.
Many years ago you had dreams and ambitions, but it was long enough
ago that you forget what they were. You are practically naked; your
hairy beer gut is not particularly appealing.
I: You are carrying:
A pair of grungy old underwear( being worn )
Xyzzy: Nice try. If you type that 9999 more times, I ‘might' put you
in god mode.
Shit: Swearing isn't going to help matters any.
Fart: That's not a verb I recognize.
Boy, talk about a game heading in the right direction, beer belly, ass
scratchin'. I'm deeply enthralled in the story until the game turns
into an ‘adventure'? You start out in your garage apartment (babe
magnet), trapped, mind you, by boarded up doors and you have to
figure out how to get out. Okay, so I'm digging it. I really became
interested as I tossed out every living piece of furniture out the
window, still unable to figure a way out. I tried tieing sheets
together, and I tried making a paper airplane from origami paper! I
have to point that out, because every other origami portapuss worked
throughout the game, why not a loose-leaf 747 !? At any rate I had
to use the walker. Ah. Yeah. Okay. So I get out and I find this dude
that apparently I know, his name is Johann the Wise and he instructs
me to find an orb of beauty, a book of truth, a pearl of wisdom and a
pillar of strength. Okay, tell me if I'm wrong, but…what just
happened here? I'm outside now, and I want to find something manly
like a mean Italian sub. I don't want to go on no adventure in search
of balls and tomes. Who do you think I am…er..who do you think you
created at the start of this romper room? Perhaps I have to remind
the author that your talkin' to Sam Haversham here, I don't wanta go
on no stinking adventure. Eh, so I read the walker and moved on.
Okay, a nifty game, but I'm disappointed with the ending. I rate this
game a 5, some good , some bad. – Lipe
Rating : 5 Playing Time: 1 hour
The Fat Lardo and the Rubber Ducky – by Anonymous
Review by : Judson Kilpatrick, Santoonie Corporation
X me: On your head is a formless piece of hair. Your eyes look in
various directions, which wouldn't be that troublesome if they didn't
do so at the same time. Er… your nose…man, you gotta cut that out!
So…What else…You're ugly, yeah!..but you know that. I'm sure your mom
and dad were brother and sister. Come to think of it, you're such an
excessive idiot they both must have been the same person! You're
quite fat, also. And not phat, but fat as hell! Damn….
I: You ain't got shit!
Xyzzy: The weird word transports you to a better place – reality!
Lucky you thought of that… (game exits, you win)
Shit: Real idiots always use such language!
Fart: Er? What are you fuckin' talking about?
While I was playing this game, I did something ackward. I noticed a
piece of mail lying next to my computer. I will describe this mail:
Well..it's from American Express Cards. It's professionally addressed
and even contains an 11-digit postnet barcode. The indicia in the
corner however informs me, that this could be junk mail. You see,
most mail bearing a Presort Standard permit is just that, ad mail.
Standard was the new term that replaced 4th Class mail on July 1, 1997
under the U.S. Postal Service's Standardization Reclassification Act.
The letter does not bear any ISS marks, (those translucent orange
markings) which indicates that this letter had a 100% read on the
MLOCR( multi-line optical character reader) and reached my mailbox in
haste. Okay time to open.. here goes. (opening). Oooh!...a BRM
(business reply mail) piece! That means I can stick a small piece of
scrap paper in there that reads, ‘PLAY FAT LARDO' and mail it off to
some bored CSR in Utah. I think that's the only person(s) that might
enjoy this game. And I don't have to pay for postage. I know what
you want me to describe, in a bit better detail, but it's not going to
happen! Well,..okay, that's what I'm here for,….Yes, the letter was
junk mail after all, sky miles crap. –J. Kilpatrick, Santoonie Corp.
Rating: 1 Playing time: 2 hours
Adam Thornton
Lunsford Lomax <aov_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>It reminds me of the AD&D module S3, in
>which a space ship lands in the flanaess.
Keeee-RIST, Hill. Don't you know *ANYTHING*? The ship didn't *land*,
it *crashed*, and it didn't happen during the course of the module but
at least several decades before.
But then, your mother was probably a vegepygmy, and your father a
gasbat. That would explain a lot.
Adam
Michael Coyne
> But then, your mother was probably a vegepygmy, and your father a
> gasbat. That would explain a lot.
It would only raise more questions. We all know vegepygmies are barren.
Michael
davidw
"Adam Thornton" <ad...@fsf.net> wrote in message
news:bpbgbb$mu6$1...@news.fsf.net...
Hey! No need to go picking on vegepygmies!