Abdomin... convolse... thier... agnony... intrest. Come on, now. If
you’re smart enough to learn TADS, you’re smart enough to run a spell-
checker. It might’ve been cool if the “canon” on the battlefield had
shot some saints at me, but alas, no dice.
Comp00ter Game (2):
Hilarious, I'm sh00re. It was slightly Joycean, in a subliterate kind
of way, hence the 2.
Jarod's Journey (1):
To the non-Christian players, this is going to seem insipid. To the
Christian players, I imagine it'll just seem obvious -- I mean, the
"moral choices" are about as transparent as the answers to a womens'
magazine quiz. If you’re gonna proselytize to me, do it with some
style. I may be a sooty-souled heathen, but I’m a sucker for a good
Little Billy (1):
"No matter what the circumstances, stabbing fellow school children is
So THAT’S why I never got invited to any birthday parties in grade
school! And here I thought it was because I had to wear those shoes
with the chunky insoles.
Escape From Crulistan (1):
The country’s “hostile to foreigners”? Er, as long as your game has
names like ‘Shikh Rottan as-Salami’, that’s kind of like calling the
kettle black. I did laugh at the “between Iraq and a hard place” line,
but the main point of the game seems to be to laugh at those crazy
foreigners and their crazy foreign religions. Also, boring and no
Cardinal rule: Basic blows. To illustrate my point...
“The door doesn’t budge.”
Liked the little story in the readme file, though.
The Djinni Chronicles (1):
In the shadows of the mists of the darkness of the valleys of time, I
searched without aim for something to like about this game, always
seaching, never finding.
No. Just no. "The complex of vaults lie physically east" -- as opposed
to what, *metaphysically* east? I found the prose in this game so
unbearable, I had to quit after a few turns. I realize that I am in the
minority here: most people seem to have rated TDC fairly highly. After
reading the positive reviews, I gave the game a second spin. Nope: it
still made me want to blind myself with a metal spike. A chacun son
gout, I suppose. (I actually liked the author’s sense of humour in the
walkthru, so maybe if he tries a funny game sometime...)
Happy Ever After (1):
Argh. See, it’s fair to test my wits with tricky puzzles. It’s *not*
fair to stick me in front of a locked gate and then make me guess which
verbs you want me to use to open it. And then there’s this stuff:
“A marble crypt stands in the corner of the graveyard.”
“You can’t see any such thing.”
“A long table on which lie two books.”
“You can’t see any such thing.”
>X LIGHTS PANEL
“I only understood you so far as wanting to examine the lights panel.”
At this point, I’m thinking, ‘Nope, not really that curious about the
lights panel after all. Don’t I have some homework to do?’.
Ewwww. If we're going to write about a lot of dead mutilated women with
nipples sliced off and notes stuffed into their vaginas, we ought to at
least have some skillful writing to sustain the story -- preferably a
point, too. Otherwise, we're just being self-consciously ghoulish,
aren't we? Yes, we are.
Here are a couple of specific quibbles, so that it doesn’t seem like
I’m blasting the game arbitrarily (I hate censorious poo-heads as much
as the next girl):
- In the scene with the prostitute, when I take her into the alley, the
text says “Her nervousness gives way to uneasiness”. Nervousness and
uneasiness are the same thing, padre. The game has a lot of linguistic
missteps like this, and it gets chafing mighty fast.
- The "I'm a monster because Mommy never loved me" thing has been done
a million times (and a million times better).
- There’s a bug in the last scene -- when you look in the fridge and
find the nipple, you can ‘take’ it, but it remains in the fridge and
not in your inventory.
- Ten words: Use a freaking conversation menu, for the love of God.
"Don't you want to ask me about whether I will strike again?"
>A HUNDRED TIMES NO
And those are my reviews. I enjoyed playing all of your games -- even
the ones I didn't enjoy. Thanks for this. Keep on writing.
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Yeah, I know. That's the breaks, I'm afraid: sometimes someone just won't
get it. Myself, I still can't see how Transfer ranked fifth. Everyone says
it's a "solid game", yet I saw one-dimensional characters, ridiculous
"science", stilted writing, psychic-player syndrome, and a lousy finale.
I'll admit some of the puzzles were cute, but not enough to offset the
difficulties... I honestly feel like the kid in the Emporer's New Clothes,
except instead of opening their eyes and saying, "hmmm... he's right..."
everyone's staring at me as if I'm crazy. Perhaps I am, then. ^_^
*THANK* you. I was beginning to think I'd hallucinated reading the end
of _Ulysses_ in it.
>- There’s a bug in the last scene -- when you look in the fridge and
>find the nipple, you can ‘take’ it, but it remains in the fridge and
>not in your inventory.
What got me about this game was that, y'know, I'm supposed to be a cop
or a detective or something, right? And this guy, while admittedly hot,
is already kinda creepy. And then I find a nipple in his fridge, and
what do I do? Not go in guns-a-blazin', not call in for backup, not
even just get the hell out of there. No, I go in and smooch him so he
can rape me and kill me. Not, as they say, bloody likely.
"My eyes say their prayers to her / Sailors ring her bell / Like a moth
mistakes a light bulb / For the moon and goes to hell." -- Tom Waits
Your not crazy. I was VERY amazed it placed that high.