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I'm 18 and when I have sex with my girlfriend, I can't seem to last very long in the first round. But once I'm back up for the second round, I can last 30 to 40 minutes. Now my woman says she doesn't mind, but I do because she seems more into it in the first session.
I heard that men can control their ejaculate; is this true? Also, what can I do to last longer in the first round?
Thanks,
O.O.
Dear O.O.,
It's normal that you reach orgasm and ejaculate more quickly upon initial sexual contact. Most men endure the same experience and there's nothing wrong with that. And because sex is probably relatively new for you, it's harder to control your ejaculate because these new sensations are still being explored.
For now, I recommend that you experiment with your girlfriend; try different things, explore different body parts (your own and hers), indulge in fantasies, and make love in a variety of positions ranging from extremely slow to fast. Don't place too much importance on controlling your climax for the moment. Once you understand what your body and mind respond to sexually, only then will you be able to master your ejaculatory response.
It truly is mind over matter and with time and experience, you can learn to enjoy ejaculating at your leisure.
D. Zimmer
going soft during sex
I'm a healthy 20-year-old male, but during intercourse, my penis will start to soften up a little bit. I don't go totally limp and I'm still able to perform, but my penis gets smaller and doesn't remain as hard or erect. I'm hoping that this is only due to stress because during the act, I usually worry about my penis size (I'm on the small side) and become paranoid that the condom is going to slip off.
Could this be the problem or is it something more serious?
Ray
Any kind of stress may result in drawbacks in the bedroom, so when your stress is all about sex, then you're certainly going to endure problems while making love.
You have to teach yourself to let these apprehensions go. There's no way you're going to enjoy your lovemaking experience if you keep placing so much importance on your partner's pleasure and satisfaction, and not your own.
As for the condom, so long as you use a reliable brand (none of those neon condoms), pinch the top and roll it all the way down to the base of your penis, there should be no reason for worry.
Sex involves you and your partner, and while pleasing her is important, pleasing yourself should be just as important. If you're feeling confident and the problem persists, however, I strongly recommend that you make an appointment with a urologist.
D. Zimmer
what's vaginitis?
How can a guy, before oral sex:
1- Recognize vaginitis, what different kinds exist and the causes;
2- Tell his wife or girlfriend she has it;
3- Know the risks during a bout of vaginitis?
Mike, OH
Hello Mike,
1- Vaginitis is any vaginal irritation such as unusual discharge, a putrid odor or itching of the vulva. The causes for irritation vary from candidiasis (yeast) and bacterial vaginosis to trichomoniasis (a sexually transmitted infection).
2- It's difficult for you to diagnose whether or not she has it. Only she can tell if something is wrong down there. A thick discharge may be completely normal depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. If she feels any irritation, then she should seek a gynecological diagnosis.
3- Men can carry the infection (at the base of the glans or around the opening) and keep passing it back to their partners because men usually display no symptoms. If you think that you or your girlfriend has vaginitis, you should both seek the help of a urologist and gynecologist (respectively) and get proper treatment.