+ AD&D Song Parodies +
Dave Brohman
What AD&D versions or parodies have people written? I have seen a few
here and there on the group over the years.
One of my faves was a song my mate John and I worked on about 10 years ago
called "The Blood Bath" to the tune of "The Love Boat". I only rmemebr
the first few lines:
Blood,
Life's sweetest reward.
An Orc ends his life,
On the end of your sword...
Chorus: The Blood Bath,
Promises glory for everyone.
The Blood Bath,
Soon we'll be making a run.
On your horse for adventure,
Your mind's on a new conquest...
That's all I remember unfortunately. It was quite good.
We did quite a few others like "The 12 Dice of Christmas", "The Little
Fighter Boy", "Dingy Trolls" (to "Jingle Bells"), "Wreck the Halls"
and "Wight Christmas". If I can, I will try to find these or re-create
the lyrics for the group if anyone is interested.
Then there were the nasty parodies like "Johnny Antichrist" to the tune of
"Johhny Appleseed" and "Come all ye Faithless" to the tune, obviously, of
"Come all ye Faithful". I will not recount the lyrics here because, even
though they are just jokes and parodies, the Christian Fundamentalists
might take it as more evidence of AD&D or RPG satanism.
Later.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Brohman Carleton University dbro...@chat.carleton.ca
"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little
bastards they are."
- Terry Pratchett, Lord and Ladies
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sea Wasp
Dave Brohman wrote:
>
> What AD&D versions or parodies have people written?
Well, SEVERAL web sites either have copies of, or pointers to, my
infamous "Ring Their Bells (The Munchkin's Carol)" -- to the tune of
Jingle Bells, of course, with the chorus:
"Oh, ring their bells
With swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold
For fame and gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells
With swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash
And blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!"
--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Jeff Olson
Dave Brohman wrote:
>
> What AD&D versions or parodies have people written? I have seen a few
> here and there on the group over the years.
I wrote a tribute to the Barbarian member of our party, to the tone of
the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann":
Bar-bar-bar, barbarian.
Bar-bar-bar, barbarian. etc..
Barbarian, you're big and dumb, barbarian.
Your knuckles drag the ground,
Your head is small and round,
Barbarian bar bar, barbarian.
Went to a fort, lookin for some orcs,
When they saw barbarian they nearly crapped their shorts,
Barbarian, bar bar, barbarian
etc. (I forget the rest).
Jeff Olson
Kristin Bachman
IIRC, in an old Dragon mag (I forget which one), they did a few.
A Spelljammer filk "Gnomish Space Marines" ("Yellow Submarine"),
"Till her Daddy Takes the Longsword Away" ("Fun Fun Fun Till her Daddy
Takes the T-bird Away"),
"Brown-Eyed Ghoul" ("Brown-Eyed Girl")
and, the one I remember best, a Dragonlance filk, "Companions Rhapsody"
("Bohemian R.")
Eternal Imaginator
"Tanis, oo-oo, you deserve to die..."
rider<at>csd.uwm.edu
Forumite
Not a parody, but I did write a bard song for my Priest of Justice which
highlights many of his adventures. It's sung to the tune of "Charlie is my
Darling", an old folk song that Uhura sings a version of in the old Star Trek
episode "Charlie X" when referring to Mr. Spock.
From the Holy City a holy man hailed
To be an adventurer his parents wailed
But to his credit he never failed
From bringing justice to the unjailed.
In Terapin town they have a feast
Cause Judge Reinhold came from the east
And saved the town from displacer beasts
By an evil mage who cheats.
<chorus>
Judge Reinhold brings Justice, and Vengeance, and Justice
Judge Reinhold brings Justice, brings Justice to us all
Across the sea Kyber he went to
The Valley of the Dragons and Sherkidu
To help Osiris defeat Set it's true
He saved the world for me and you
When vampires could see the light of day
Judge Reinhold he did lead the way
And slew them all without delay
For whom they murdered they did pay
<chorus>
Kronos threatened to destroy Olympus
Aphrodite, Athena, Poseidon, Zeus
But Judge disposed of him without a fuss
Then did the same to Uranus
Judge befriended a witch much to his surprise
But his intelligent mace did catch his eye
And from his mace a demon did rise
But Lady Justice saved her prize
<chorus>
Mordenkainen went to Judge with fear
Cause Rary killed Tenser from ear to ear
It was Vecna who wanted to come here
But Judge made him disappear
Judge's beauty has no mortal match
The perfect face there's not a scratch
I tell you ladies he's quite a catch
Your own belts you would unhatch
<chorus>
Gerald Katz
High stats != bad roleplaying
Dave Brohman
Dave Brohman (dbro...@chat.carleton.ca) wrote:
> What AD&D versions or parodies have people written? I have seen a few
> here and there on the group over the years.
> We did quite a few others like "The 12 Dice of Christmas", "The Little
> Fighter Boy", "Dingy Trolls" (to "Jingle Bells"), "Wreck the Halls"
> and "Wight Christmas". If I can, I will try to find these or re-create
> the lyrics for the group if anyone is interested.
I forgot "Violent Knight" and "Death to the World" for other Christams
tunes. In the non-Christmas vein there was "Elf!" (to the Beatles "Help!"),
"Band on the Run" (same tune, re-written about a first-level party) and
"Blowing in the Wind" (re-written with "How many Orcs must a man mow
down...").
Oh, by the way, to help me re-write the lyrics to the 12 Days of
Christmas, does anyone rememebr the whole song? I know everything from
"8 Maids a milking" down, and I think it is "10 Lords a leaping", but
what about the rest? If anyone can e-mail me the whole thing in the
next day or two, I will get the song done and post it here before
Christmas.
Thanks.
Jason M. Hamari
A while back, a friend and I had come up with some "barbarian" songs, which
started out by switching the word "love" with "club" in certain songs... we
didn't really bother to change some of the words, because they actually
WORKED in a lot of cases...
Example:
"Club of a Lifetime" (from Firehouse's "Love of a Lifetime")
I guess the time was right for us to say
We'd take our time and live our lives together day by day
We make a Wish and send it on a prayer
We know our dreams can all come true, if clubbing we can share
With you I never wonder, "Will you be there for me?"
With you I never wonder... you're the right one for me.
Chorus:
I finally found the club of a lifetime
A club to last my whole life through
I finally found the club of a lifetime
I know it in my heart... I finally found the club of a lifetime.
[didn't make any more words for this one... feel free to try]
Another Example:
(from the beginning of Chicago's "Look Away")
When you called me up this morning
told me 'bout the new club you'd found
I said "I'm happy for ya...
I'm really happy for ya..."
[that's all I remember]
and... (from the chorus of REO Speedwagon's "Keep On Lovin' You"
I'm gonna keep on clubbin' you
'Cause it's the only thing I wanna do
I don't wanna sleep,
I just wanna keep on clubbin' you
[blah blah blah]
You get the idea. Since there are SOOO many songs that talk about "love",
it's easy to come up with songs about barbarians... **grin**
Shauna Leanne Nickerson
Kristin Bachman (ri...@csd.uwm.edu) wrote:
: IIRC, in an old Dragon mag (I forget which one), they did a few.
: A Spelljammer filk "Gnomish Space Marines" ("Yellow Submarine"),
: "Till her Daddy Takes the Longsword Away" ("Fun Fun Fun Till her Daddy
: Takes the T-bird Away"),
: "Brown-Eyed Ghoul" ("Brown-Eyed Girl")
: and, the one I remember best, a Dragonlance filk, "Companions Rhapsody"
: ("Bohemian R.")
The only other one I remember (from a different issue of Dragon ) was
"Love Me Kender" ("Love me tender" duh!) ['B
--
------------------------------------------------------
|| Shauna L. Nickerson | "Me like Hamlet, him King ||
||(nick...@is2.dal.ca)| of Denmark. That make him ||
||(sha...@ug.cs.dal.ca)| Danish, Me LOVE danish!!" ||
|| | -Alistair Cookie ||
|| Pthalio Dragon _O_ | Monsterpiece Theatre ||
|| -==(UDIC)==- | | ||
|| http://is2.dal.ca/~nickerss/briar.html ||
------------------------------------------------------
Nana Yaw Ofori
In article <67cj6l$2...@bertrand.ccs.carleton.ca>,
dbro...@chat.carleton.ca (Dave Brohman) wrote:
> What AD&D versions or parodies have people written? I have seen a few
> here and there on the group over the years.
(crossposted to rec.games.frp.misc)
I'm a rather prolific filk song writer, though the quality of my
songs are quite debatable. Here are five of them. Two AD&D, three
Earthdawn.
Well, there's this one I posted a couple years ago, to the tune of
"Downtown"
Delving all day, looking for something to slay,
Well you can always kill...UNDEAD!
Running through dugneons, want to ruin your day,
Well look what's joined the fray...UNDEAD!
Wights, Liches, Zin-Carla Wraiths, Ghouls, Vampires, Ghosts and Zombies!
Shadows, Spectres, Skeletons, and look, a Greater Mummy!
Try to live...
The night ordeal slowly ends
Go get a few Restorations, and slay them again
Go slay...UNDEAD!
They're Evil through and through!
UNDEAD! It's what you're paid to do!
UNDEAD! They're rotting there waiting for you...
Another one, this one's "99 Githyanki" based on the parody "99 Dead
Baboons", based on the song "99 Red Baloons"
Hello, Bobby, My old friend.
Nice to talk to you again
Remember the old Astral Plane
The adventures we had there remain
Something happened you should see
Down at my place, come with me
It seems I've had a visit from
99 Githyanki
99 Githyanki
Every one is after me!
For the Silver Sword I had,
My possesion made them mad
Vorpal Powers, Nice +5
Odds are that I won't survive
Think that I should swiftly flee
From 99 Githyanki.
How they got here I'm not sure
Woke up last night, there they wore
Psionicists are such a pain
Ego whipping at my brain!
Then they laid claim to my sword
and most of my treasure horde
What would you do if you were me
With 99 Githyanki?
The Githyanki Incursion stopped
Though property values swiftly dropped
Landowners all around here cried
When everything in 10 miles died!
The Githzerai are here to stay,
And I've got nothing bad to say
For all of them I'd rather see
Than 99 Githyanki!
This one's more of an EarthDawn song, based on Wierd Al's "Living in the
Fridge", which in turn is a parody of "Living on the Edge."
Y'know something broke in the Kaer today
Don't know what it is
Things I can't recognize...
Bobby's skin got torn away
I'm sure this blood is his
Don't think he's still alive...
Living in the Kaer (You can't stop the Horror Marking!)
Living in the Kaer (Don't know what it is, Don't care what it is)
Living in the Kaer (You can't stop the Horror Marking...)
Tell me do you think that we should try to fight it
If we do, I'm sure we'll bite it, easily
Hey what the hell happened to our Nethermancer
Talk to him and find an answer
Help us, we pray, make the thing go away
Don't want to see it for a year and a day!
Y'know something broke in the Kaer today
I've felt it in my mind all week
I've lost my art, my skin's come apart
It hurts my ears when you scream and shriek
Living in the Kaer (We're all puppets of the Horror!)
Living in the Kaer (No independent thought at all!)
Living in the Kaer (Who invited the Jehuthra?)
Living in the Kaer (Don't know what it is, Don't care what it is)
Living in the Kaer (When's this Scourge scheduled to end?)
Living in the Kaer (Shouldn't have skimped on the True Earth wards..)
(Fade out)
To the Tune of Kenny Rogers' "The Gambler." I bring you "The Horror"
On a warm summer's evening
In an airship bound for Parlainth
I met up with a Horror
I was much too scared to speak
So I spent my time a-starin
Out the window at the cloudscape
When the boredom overtook him,
He began to speak.
He said, "Son, I've made a life"
"Out of Eatin' people's faces
"Living off Emotions
"And causin' general strife
"If you don't mind my sayin'
"or that I lack the social graces
"For a taste of your whiskey
"I'm inclined to spare your life."
So I threw at him my bottle
And he ate the thing unopened.
Then he took my cigarretes
and asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And my mind began to rebel
Said "If your going to play the game, boy
'You got to learn to play it right."
(Chorus)
"You've got to know when to flay 'em.
"Know when to fillet 'em
"Know when to mark 'em all
"And know when to run
"You never use all yer Constructs
"Just the one's that are still able
"There'll be time enough for markin'
"When the killing's done."
"Ev'ry Horror knows
"The secret to survivin'
"Is to stay away from Munchkins
"And to find a decent Kaer.
"'Cause ev'ry soul's a winner,
"And the best ones are for dinner
"And if a Kaer you're going to break in
"Make sure Vergigorm's not there."
(Chorus)
And when he finished saying,
He turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette
And left me there to sleep.
And sometime in the darkness
The Horror took to leavin'
But etched into my broken mind
Were words I'd ever keep
(Chorus, Fade out.)
And finally, the "Fun Fun Fun (Till the Horror took her free will away)"
song I mentioned in that initial post.
Well she got a bunch of friends and they decided to explore a lost Kaer now
(Explore a lost Kaer now, Explore a lost Kaer)
And they all very well knew that a nasty vicious Wormskull was there now
(Wormskull was there now, Wormskull was there)
I'm the last survivor, and I'll tell you all what happened there now
(what happened there now, what happened there)
And she had Fun Fun Fun till the Horror took her Free Will Away
(Fun, Fun, till the horror took her free will away)
Well we marched into the cavern and we walked around for about an hour
(Marched for an hour, marched for an hour)
And we didn't find a solitary sign of the Horror's power
(The horror's power, where is his power)
Till we got ambushed by cadavermen, and the situation was dour
(What rhymes with dour? What rhymes with dour?)
But we had fun, fun, fun till the Horror took our free will away!
(Fun, Fun, Till the Horror took our free will away)
Well we took a bunch of wounds, but most of the party survived then
(Party survived, Yes! Party survived!)
And we felt pretty good that we were mostly still alive then
(We're still alive, but how long will we thrive)
About that time, another six Jehuthrae arrived then
(The Horror was there too, Boy, were we screwed)
But we had Fun Fun Fun till the horror took our free will away
(Fun fun till the horror took our free will away)
Well we fought a valiant battle, but we just couldn't carry the day then
(Carry the day then, carry the day)
Guess you're probably wondring how I managed to get out okay, then
(Get out okay, How'd I get out okay?)
Well, I work for the Horror, and he's in my mind ev'ry day, friend
(He'll be soon in your mind,friend, My song will now end)
And He'll have fun fun fun, once the Horror takes your free will away!
(Fun fun, for the Horror anyway..)
And He'll have fun fun fun, now that with your soul he can play
(Fun, Fun, that word means nothing starting today)
(Fade out)
Allright. I'm done now. Back to your regularly scheduled newsgroup.
--
==== Nana Yaw "The Fish" Ofori ===== http://www.io.com/~beholder ====
<"}><_________ ___ _________ ___ ___ ___ |"Who's the
/ ______/| / /| / _____/| / /| / /| / /| | mighty Elder
/ /|_____|// / // /_____|// /_/_/ / // / / |God that is our
/ ____/| / / //_____ /| / _____ / //__/ / |claim to fame?
/ /|___|/ / / /_|____/ / // /|__/ / /_|__|/ |H-A-S, T-U-R!
/__/ / /__/ //_______/ //__/ / /__/ //__/| |Please don't say
|__|/<"}}}><|__|/ |_______|/ |__|/ |__|/ |__|/ | the name!"
=====================================================================
"Life's a Fish, then you Fry." Email: nof...@pop3.utoledo.edu
====== ><{{{"> ======================================= <"}}}>< ======
David G. Bell
In article <nofori-2212...@ppp121.dialins.utoledo.edu>
nof...@pop3.utoledo.edu "Nana Yaw Ofori" writes:
> In article <67cj6l$2...@bertrand.ccs.carleton.ca>,
> dbro...@chat.carleton.ca (Dave Brohman) wrote:
>
> > What AD&D versions or parodies have people written? I have seen a few
> > here and there on the group over the years.
>
> (crossposted to rec.games.frp.misc)
>
> I'm a rather prolific filk song writer, though the quality of my
> songs are quite debatable. Here are five of them. Two AD&D, three
> Earthdawn.
Don't forget the rec.music.filk newsgroup (though gaming filks are only
a small part of the totality of filk).
--
David G. Bell -- Farmer, SF Fan, Filker, Furry, and Punslinger..
Greg B
Here are some songs that I have either created or collected over the years.
Enjoy!
Turn, Turn, Turn (Turn, Turn, Turn by Crosby, Stills and Nash)
C F C G
To all undead (turn, turn, turn)
C F C G
It’s my god’s reason (turn, turn, turn)
F Dm G C F C
It’s time to feel my power, a gift from heaven
G C
A time to turn ghasts, a time to turn wights
G G7 C
A time to turn ghouls and spectres and wraiths
G G7 C
A time to turn zombies to dust
F Em Dm G
A time to turn liches, well at least next level
No need to fear (turn, turn, turn)
Your priest is here (turn, turn, turn)
Turn to me and I’ll deliver
You all from evil
I’ve tried to turn ghasts, I’ve tried to turn wights
I’ve tried to turn ghouls and spectres and wraiths
I’ve tried to turn zombies to dust
But it appears all the undead are liches. Oh No.
Musical Interlude
To all you priests who (turn, turn, turn)
From me you can learn (turn, turn, turn)
Be sure the undead you are turning don’t turn out liches.
You can try to turn ghasts, you can try to turn wights
You can try to turn ghouls and spectres and wraiths
You can try to turn zombies to dust
But you can’t turn liches who were once good clerics. Join me!
Roll up a 20 (Roll out the Barrel)
Roll up a 20, You need a 20 to save
Roll up a 20, to fail will lead to your grave
Gee, whiz oh golly!
Couldn’t it just make you scream
You had to roll a natural 20 and you rolled 19!
I'm being followed by a Rust Monster (Moonshadow by Cat Stevens)
Oh, I'm being followed by a Rust Monster
Rust Monster, Rust Monster
Leaping and hopping from that Rust Monster
Rust Monster, Rust Monster
Now if his tail should touch my sword
If it should rust, oh my lord.
Now if his tail should touch my sword
Oh, I won’t strike at him no more
And if his feelers touch my shield
Although it crumbles I’ll not yield
And if his feelers touch my shield
Oh I won’t parry him no more
Yes, I'm being followed by a Rust Monster
Rust Monster, Rust Monster
Leaping and hopping from that Rust Monster
Rust Monster, Rust Monster
Oh if my armour turns to dust
His tongue strikes out and makes it rust
Oh if my armour turns to dust
Oh I won’t squeak when I walk no more.
And if his mouth my bracers eat
My leggings fall down at my feet
And if his mouth my bracers eat
Oh, I won’t be clothed no more
How on earth did you find me?
I ask that gruesome sight
“I smelt out your lovely armour.”
He said taking one more bite.
Now it’s being followed by a nude fighter
Nude fighter, nude fighter.
Waiting til it meets up with a new fighter.
Nude fighter, nude fighter.
Nude fighter, nude fighter.
Nude fighter, nude fighter.
Roll up a Super PC (My Bonnie Lies Over the Mountain)
An 18 for looks brains and wisdom
Dexterity 18 also,
Constitution is of course a 20
And strength’s naturally 20 you know
Roll up, roll up oh roll up a Super PC, PC
Roll up, roll up oh roll up a Super PC, PC
To roll an 18 is quite easy
You need just a pen for this trick
Add to the die’s other faces
Then every roll is a 6
Spoken: And then you can
Roll up, roll up oh roll up a Super PC, PC
Roll up, roll up oh roll up a Super PC, PC
A battle of epic proportions,
DM verses Super PC
PC has 300 odd hit points
And of course over 30 AC
Spoken: How did he get it? He
Rolled up, rolled up oh rolled up a Super PC, PC
Rolled up, rolled up oh rolled up a Super PC, PC
A dozen odd Artefacts and Relics
A wish whenever he states
100% Magic Resistance
And of course PC regenerates.
Spoken: How? He
Rolled up, rolled up oh rolled up a Super PC, PC
Rolled up, rolled up oh rolled up a Super PC, PC
The rest of the players grow restless
‘Cause Super PC does the lot
He’s massacred all DM’s monsters
Then healed everyone in a jot
DM’s gone through 3 monster manuals
Super PC, gives everyone the creeps
So with the aid of one of the party
A thief cuts his throat in his sleep.
(Change tune to Louie The fly.)
Poor poor PC
Super PC
A victim of DM
DM
In Middle Earth (Penny Lane by the Beatles)
In Middle Earth, there deep beneath the Misty Mountains
A creature weeps because his life is not same
And he curses who it is to blame
Baggins is his name
In Isegard within the high tower of Orthanc.
Saruman the white examines his palantir
And though he’s powerful as can be
Still the dark lord- he should fear
Middle Earth beneath the stars below the sun
Where the precious one of Gollum’s missing
Elsewhere back in
Middle Earth, there is a hobbit in a hobbit hole
He keeps it clean although it’s dug into the ground
Though Bilbo spends a lot of time in town
Still he’s been around
In Middle Earth, there is a wizard with a staff of oak
His flowing beard is coloured like new fallen snow
His fireworks light up the fields below
And his smoke rings glow
Middle Earth beneath the stars below the sun
A wonder are the falls of Rivendell but
Elsewhere back in
In Middle Earth, the wizard smokes his pipe contentedly
We see hobbits walking humming to the inn
And the dark lord’s presence rushes in
Grasping Saruman in his head
Middle Earth beneath the stars below the sun
Where the precious one of Gollum’s missing
Elsewhere back in
Simply Resurrectable (Simply Irresistible by Robert Palmer)
This has to be correctable
This character’s delectable, yeah yeah
That kind of thief’s collectable
Her tracks are undetectable!
She can pick on demand,
A different lock in each hand
And now she’s gone- what a sham!
At the DM’s command?
She’ll never be dead to me because I find her
Simply Resurrectable
Simply Resurrectable
Those goblins had an arsenal,
That’s simply more than plausible
Your killing her is personal!
My loss ain’t reimbursable
She could skirt every law,
Break an armed guardsman’s jaw.
She gives the poor what she steals
Makes some heavenly deals
No she cannot be dead you see
Because I know she’s
Simply Resurrectable
Simply Resurrectable
Simply Resurrectable
(She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went)
Simply Resurrectable
(She's all mine, there's no other way to go)
The girl’s unstoppable
When climbing up a wall
Backstab is deadly
Pickpockets nets a haul
Her face is lovely
Now she’s dead I am appalled
She won’t stay dead long, trust me I’ll find a cleric.
Simply Resurrectable
(She's all mine, tell me healer, you can work the spell)
Simply Resurrectable
(Will she be fine? Healer tell me she’’ll be well)
Instrument Break
Her methods were inscrutable
The proof is irrefutable, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I find her just so missable, huh
Our lives are indivisible, yeah yeah
She's a craze I endorse, she was a powerful force
You're obliged to conform cause there's no other course
She was my favourite PC, please tell me that she’s
Simply Resurrectable
(She's all mine, tell me healer, you can work the spell))
Simply Resurrectable
(Will she be fine? Healer tell me she’’ll be well)
Simply Resurrectable
(What d’you mean you need more gold for the spell to work?)
Simply Resurrectable
(Bloody priests, I thought my character was the thief!)
Simply Resurrectable
Love me Kender (Love me Tender by Elvis Presley)
Love me Kender, love me true
Steal away my heart
Keep it where you’ve put my jewels
and that’s just the start.
Love me Kender, love me long
Each day the pain grows worse.
For though they say that love is blind,
I saw you take my purse.
Leave me Kender, leave me now
All your pouches filled
You just don’t realise you’re a thief
And you never will
Fun Fun Fun (Fun Fun Fun by The Beach Boys)
Well she got her daddy's sword
And she asked if she could give us a hand now
Seems she forgot all about the mon’stery
Like she told her old man now
Before her daddy could catch her
She went lookin’ for adventure so grand now
And she'll have fun fun fun
'Til her daddy takes her long sword away
(Fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes her long sword away)
Well the orcs can’t touch her
'Cause she swings that mighty sword like an ace now
(She fights like an ace now, She fights like an ace)
She makes a squadron of ogres flee home with the look on her face now
(A look on her face now, a look on her face)
A lotta trolls try to catch her
But she vanishes with nary a trace now
(With nary a trace now, with nary a trace)
And she'll have fun fun fun
'Til her daddy takes her long sword away
(Fun fun fun 'til her daddy takes her long sword away)
Musical Interlude
Well we knew all along
That her scheme was just too good to be true now
(Too good to be true now, too good to be true)
And since he took the sword away
You've been feeling bored a terribly blue now
(Terribly blue now, terribly blue)
But you can come along with me
'Cause I’ve got another sword +2 now
(A sword +2 now, a sword +2)
And we'll have fun fun fun till her daddy took her long sword away
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
And you'll have fun fun fun till her daddy took her long sword away
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
(Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo)
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
(Fun fun fun now her daddy took her long sword away)
The Ballad of the +3 Sword (Norwegian Wood by The Beatles)
I once had a sword
Or should I say it once had me
I just picked it up
Oh what a sword it was +3!
It’s ego was 12 a fact of which I wasn’t aware
So I tried to leave and I found the sword didn’t care
I walked through the halls, wasting my time nothing to find.
Then I turned a bend and then I said, “Oh No Undead!”
The 32 wights saw me coming and started to laugh
I closed my eyes and the started hewing a path. Oh
And when I awoke I was alone that sword had flown
Now I use a club isn't it good No Ego wood.
Friar Malone (Molly Malone)
Through dungeon and city
Both ugly and pretty
Went brave Lawful Cleric, named Friar Malone
As she whirled his war hammer
‘Gainst Vampire’s glamour
Crying, "Down with all Evil, Undead Undead, no!"
Undead Undead, no
Undead Undead, no
Crying, "Down with all Evil, Undead Undead, no "
To a graveyard he was going
To where evil was growing
And heard a voice saying “Die Friar Malone!”
His knuckles grew whiter
His holy Symbol grasped tighter
Crying, "Down with all Evil, Undead Undead, no
Undead Undead, no
Undead Undead, no
Crying, "Down with all Evil, Undead Undead, no
But a Succubus found him
And in her lair bound him
And became the foul death of Friar Malone
Now his ghost stalks the ruins
Where his last breath he drew in
Crying, "Down with all Evil, I’m Undead Undead, no
I’m Undead Undead, no
I’m Undead Undead, no
Crying, "Down with all Evil, I’m Undead Undead, no
Cleric Cleric (Daisy Daisy)
Cleric Cleric down on your knees and pray
Brave Sir Derrick, needs you to save his day
We don’t need a fancy healing
But be quick in the dealing
‘Cause we’ll be up the creek and stuffed
If the party’s just you and me.
Wizard Wizard here is my answer true
My last healing was used for the sake of you.
I’m sick of this blasted nursing
And if you keep on cursing,
I’ll use my mace against your face
And crack your smart mouth in two.
Old mate Cleric, don’t misconstrue what I say
But now that Derrick the fighter has passed away
If we’re to survive this dungeon
Now don’t think that I am spongin’
But you and I will have to try
To mates for the next few days.
Wizard Wizard, I see you’ve no spells to use
All your put downs have finally come home to roost
You said my god’s non existant
That I’d not go the distance
Well I laugh last, for I’ve just cast
Word of recall for one not two.
Roll High (Rawhide)
Rollin’ rollin' rollin'
Rollin’ rollin' rollin'
Rollin’ rollin' rollin'
Rollin’ rollin' rollin'
Roll high.
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Though the DM’s frowning
Keep those dice a- rollin'
Roll high
Opaque, clear or crystal
Good dice are rare as mythrall
Wishing my dice were rolling high
All the rolls I'm missin'
My lucky die I’m kissin'
It’s gonna say if I live or die
Roll a 4, Roll a 6, Roll an 8, Roll a 10
Roll a 12, Roll a 20, Roll high!
Roll a save, Roll to hit, Roll to chose, Roll your damage
Roll DC, Role play, Roll high!
Grinin’ grinin’ grinin’
Though the DM’s winnin’
Keep those dice a spinnin’ roll high
Don’t try to beg or plead ‘em
Just roll and hope and read ‘em
Soon it will show up low or high
DM’s calculatin’ what monsters are a waitin’
Waiting for my lucky die to die
Roll a 4, Roll a 6, Roll an 8, Roll a 10
Roll a 12, Roll a 20, Roll high!
Roll a save, Roll to hit, Roll to chose, Roll your damage
Roll DC, Role play, Roll high!
The Holy Grail (Gilligan’s Island)
Now sit right down and I’ll tell a tale.
A tale of a fateful test
Eight paladins rode off one day
For a one fortnight quest, a one fortnight quest.
The DM started getting rough
The monsters big and tough
If not for the courage of the fearless knights
The quest would be lost, the quest would be lost
The paladins all filed into
A tiny cup filled room
There was Galahad and Arthur too,
Sir Tristram and Gawain.
Gareth and Lance
Sir Robin and the knight in green
Questing for the Holy Grail