Dairy of Pain
Justisaur
since it's been a long long time, along with the DMG random dungeon.
They call me Veteran Pain. I was waltzing down the stairs of some
forsaken crypt, excited at the prospect of combat and loot. Meathook
the pitbull under control of one of my harem of adventurers, a Tree
Hugger (I say that affectionately) we called Dianne, skulked along
beside me. I don’t know how I’d lucked into it but all the other
adventurers here were girls. Adventureres, heh, call ‘em that.
There were two human sorceresses in the back that didn’t look like
they could fight their way out of a paper bag, and their little tricks
they showed off would be lucky to stop a mouse. The Cleric of Venus
looked a lot tougher, and she was worth a long stare at too. There
was the Girl with the sword as big as me dressed all in black leather,
she looked pretty dangerous, and that Elf. Damn Elves always think
they know everything and better than anyone, still they were far more
dangerous than they looked, for all I know she could wipe the lot of
us with spells and arrows, have to keep an eye on that one too, didn’t
like her right behind me, but that’s where she was.
Then there was Dianne. Whew, nature girl with all the right stuff,
hair red as fresh blood. She was part elf, but human enough. I
wondered if she’d put me under a spell, she had that kind of effect on
me, and the other men I’d seen. Surprised she’d picked up all these
girls. I was the last one she’d signed on. She’d been able to choose
any man she wanted, and she got me. Well I was pretty strong, beat
everyone else in that tavern at arm-wrestling, and I knew my way
around a battle. I just hoped I could keep all these girls from
getting themselves whacked. Well no real concern of mine, if they
were too stupid to know they belonged somewhere safe, I could always
pick up the pieces. Of gold that is!
Damn Crypt. No light, but the humans had to stop and fire up lanterns
and a torch. No breeze and smelled like shit. I checked my boots,
nothing there.
Cora, the Cleric of Venus said “Ew, It smells like a sewer down here!
I thought this was supposed to be a crypt?”
I shushed her and whispered “Don’t want to alert anything down here,
keep it soft.”
She rolled her eyes at me, but kept it down.
One of those sorceresses said softly “Perhaps the sewer broke in
somewhere down here. There are cracks in the floor.”
Sure enough there were. A closer look showed there was a pile of what
looked like bird doo in the corners of the oddly shaped room. There
were some bird cages in the corners too, dead birds in them.
“Some bird death cult?” one of the sorceresses asked.
“Ick. None that I’m aware of.” said Cora.
It didn’t appear anything of interest here, so I followed the time
honored adventuring rule of follow the right wall. we went down a
passage to the right, which came to a 4 way intersection. We went
right side passage which dead ended. The Elf and Dianne came up and
searched for a secret door, but found none, we backtracked to the last
way. Came to another 4 way intersection.
“It looks like someone might have been mining around searching for
something here with the way the passages are layed out” One of those
Sorceresses said.
Continuing on the passage way turned left this time and came to a room
at last. More shit, older this time though.
We looked around briefly.
Dianne said “You lookin, come look at this.”
“Huh?” I said scratching my head, but the Elf went over to her and
bent down for a moment. We gathered around wondering what was going
on.
“No traps.” the Elf said.
“Lift that up, would you Pain?” Dianne said.
I just stared for a moment.
“The stone is loose in the floor there”.
“Oh!” I said, bent over and moved the stone. There was a jar down
there, which I lifted out, it was filled with money! Only copper,
about a grand of it, better than nothing.
“Anyone got something I can put this in?” I said
Dianne pulled a large sack out of her backpack and said “Here you go,
Pain.”
I filled up the bag to the point the seams were stretching and tossed
it over my back. I divided the rest into everyone’s money pouches.
WDS
> Here we go again...
For your dairy problems I suggest something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/180-Caplets-Fast-Acting-Lactase/dp/B000HI0CKS
One the gas is gone the pain will subside. ;-)
Justisaur
> Here we go again, more solo play diary. This time trying out AD&D 1e
> since it's been a long long time, along with the DMG random dungeon.
I decided to make 7 characters expecting some attrition. I used the
method 4d6 drop lowest in order to create the characters, re-roll
character if don't have 2 scores at 15 or above (per PHB) I ended up
discarding 2 characters due to that rule. Added the NPC traits, but I
always view those as very loose guidelines. I decided class/race
based on what looked best for the stats and what was available for the
party - in at least one case there was no choice due to stats. I used
WotC's name generator to come up with names. On the subject of names,
I had thought WotC's names a bit cheesy, but then reading through the
1e PHB & DMG there were even cheesier names like Arkayne the Magic-
user and Goodboy Barrelgut the Dwarf.
I rather like the Half-Orc, and he's the only male so I decided to
write from his point of view as the main character, but may change
viewpoints later for different insights if they survive. I can see
some "romance" might go on here, but I tend to shy away from exploring
that.
I think my love of the DMG random dungeon generator suffers from at
least a bit of nostalgia, as I see it doesn't even account for what
type of door you run across, or whether it's locked or has locks etc.
The first room we come too has 1000 cp hidden in a hole.
Here's the characters:
AD&D 1e Characters
Combat Statisics & Marching Order:
Pain: HP: 5, AC 3, Bastard Sword (sf 6) +2 to hit 2d4+5/2d8+5, or 3
Javelin (r 2/4/6) +2 to hit d6+5, 32 Sling (r 10/20/30) -2 d4+1/d6+1
Meathook: HP: 11, AC 6, Att: 2+2HD, 1x 2d4
Cora: HP: 8, AC 5, Spells: Command, CLWx2, Att: Morning Star (sf 7)
2d4/d6+1, 32 Sling (r 10/20/30) d4+1 or d6+1
Youlookin’ HP: 4, AC 8, Spell: Spider Climb, Att: Longsword (sf 5) +2
to hit d8+1/d12+1, or 32 Sling (r 10/20/30) d4+1/d6+1, backstab x2
Jane: HP: 6, AC 10, Spells: Hold Portal, Att: Dagger dagger (sf 2 x2
r 1/2/3) d4/d3, or oil
Lora: HP: 5, AC 10, Spell: Friends, Att: Quarterstaff -2 to hit d6-1,
or oil
Holly: HP: 2, AC 7, Att: Two Handed Sword (sf 10) d10+1/3d6+1, or
dagger (sf 2 x2 r 1/2/3) d4+1/d3+1, or short bow (x2 r 5/10/15) d6, or
oil
Diane: HP: 6, AC 6, Spells: Animal Friendship, Detect Snares & Pits,
Faerie Fire, Att: Scimitar (sf 4) d8, or 32 Sling (r 10/20/30) d4+1/
d6+1), or oil
------
Full characters in order rolled:
-----
Oolakain (Youlookin’) Guratra Jill of all Trades
Female
Elf
Fighter/Magic-User/Thief
Str 17 Att: +1, Dam +1, +500#, OD 1-3, BB 13%
Int 16 AL: 5, KS: 65%, MinSPL: 7, MaxSPL: 11, MaxSL: 8th
Wis 8
Dex 12 MS: -5%
Con 9 SS:60%, RS: 65%
Chr 12 MH: 5
Elven Abilities:
90% Resist Sleep & Charm
+1 to Hit bows & short & longswords
Languages: Elvish, Gnome, Halfling, Goblin, Hobgoblin, Orcish, Gnoll,
Common, Thief, Alignment (Neutral Good), +1 other.
60’ Infravision
1 in 6 detect secret doors within 10’
2 in 6 search for secret doors
3 in 6 sears for concealed portal
4 in 6 surprise monsters if 90’ away from party wearing non-metal
armor
2 in 6 surprise if have to open door and 90’ away from party wearing
non-metal armor
HP: 4 (F: 4, MU: 4, T: 4)
+10% XP to Fighter due to 16 Prime Requisite
+10% XP to Magic-user due to 16 Prime Requisite
Magic-User Spells:
Unknowable:
Spellbook: Read Magic, Push, Spider Climb, Erase
Memorized:
(1 1st): Spider Climb
Thief Functions:
PP OL F/RT MS HS HN CW RL
Lv 1 30 25 20 15 10 10 85
Elf 5 -5 5 10 5
Dexterity 5
Total 35 20 20 25 20 15 85 0
Backstab x2
Alignment: Neutral Good
Weapon Proficiencies: Longsword, Longbow, Sling, Mace
Equipment:
GP: 3
SP: 9
Leather Armor
Longsword
Scabbard
Sling
32 Sling bullets
Belt
Boots, high, soft
Cloak
Backpack, leather
Theives’ picks & tools
50’ rope
pouch, belt, large
10 spike, iron, large
2 weeks iron rations
waterskin
AC: 8
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: No Skill of Measurable Worth
Age: 186 (Mature)
Max Age: 1598
Appearance: Unkempt
Sanity: Unstable
General Tendencies: Precise/Exacting
Personality: Solitary/Secretive
Disposition: Morose
Intellect: Active
Nature: Jealous
Materialism: Greedy
Honesty: Liar
Bravery: Craven
Energy: Driven
Thrift: Average
Morals: Normal
Piety: Iconoclastic
Interests: Politics
Height: 52 inches (4’4”)
Weight: 79 lbs
-------------------------------------
Lora-Lynn (Lora) Spellloyal the Prestidigitator
Female
Human
Magic-User
Str 5 Hit: -2, Dam -1, -250#, OD 1, BB: 0%
Int 15 AL: 4, KS: 65%, MinSPL: 7, MaxSPL: 11, MaxSL: 7th
Wis 14
Dex 12
Con 16 HPA: +2, SSS: 95%, RS: 96%
Chr 14 MH: 6, LB +5%, RA +10%
Languages: Common, Alignment (Lawful Neutral)
HP: 5 (3+2)
Magic-User Spells:
Known:
In Spell Book: Read Magic, Friends, Protection from Evil, Message
Memorized:
(1 1st): Friends
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Weapon Proficiency: Staff
Equipment:
GP: 29
SP: 11
CP: 7
Quarterstaff
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high hard
Cloak
Robe
3 Torch
3 Oil, flask of
Tinderbox
AC 10
Age: 32 (Mature)
Max Age: 95
Secondary Skill: Fresh Water Navigator
Appearance: Ragged
Sanity: normal
General Tendencies: Curious/Inquisitive
Personality: Rude
Disposition: Morose
Intellect: Average
Nature: Unforgiving
Materialism: Intellectualist
Honesty: Average
Bravery: Fearless
Energy: Slothful
Thrift: Mean
Morals: Lusty
Piety: Impious
Interests: Politics
Psionics: No
Height: 72 inches (6’)
Weight: 102 lbs
-----
Pangretus (Pain) Poisonlicker the Veteran
Male
Half-Orc
Fighter
Str 18:99 (07 before age) Hit: +2, Dam: +5, +2000#, OD 1-4(1), BBLG:
35%
Int 12 AL: 3
Wis 15 MAA: +1
Dex 7
Con 18 HP: +4, SSS: 99%, RS: 100%
Chr 11(13 to orcs) MH: 4 (MH: 5, RA: +5%)
Half-Orc abilities:
Languages: Common, Orcish, Alignment (Chaotic Neutral), +2 Others
60’ Infravision
HP: 5 (1+4)
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Weapon Proficiencies: Bastard Sword, Long Sword, Longbow, Javelin
Equipment:
GP: 5
SP: 2
Splinted Armor
Small wooden shield
Bastard Sword
Scabbard
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high hard
Cloak
Sling
32 Sling Bullets
3 Javelins
AC 3
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: Gardener
Age: 17 (Mature)
Max Age: 74
Appearance: Dirty
Sanity: Normal
General Tendencies: Suspicious/Cautious
Personality: Friendly
Disposition: Even Tempered
Intellect: Active
Nature: Forgiving
Materialism: Avaricious
Honesty: Average
Bravery: Normal
Energy: Normal
Thrift: Average
Morals: Lusty
Piety: Irreverent
Interests: Wines & Spirits
Height: 70 inches (5’10’)
Weight: 180 lbs
-----
Holly (Holly) Carter, Bravo
Human
Assassin
Str 16 Dam +1, +350#, OD 1-3, BBLG: 10%
Int 11 AL: 2
Wis 12
Dex 15 DA: -1
Con 10 SSS: 70%, RS: 75%
Chr 13 MH: 5, RA +05%
Languages: Common, Alignment (Lawful Evil)
HP: 2
Assassin Abilities:
Poison Use: (10% per round of others noticing per person)
Disguise (2% per day of noticing +2% per difference in class, race,
sex)
Assassinate with surprise
Thief Abilities at 2 levels lower, + Backstab as normal
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Weapon Proficiencies: Short Bow, Dagger, Two-Handed Sword
Equipment:
GP: 5
SP: 14
Two Handed Sword
Leather Armor
Short Bow
Dagger
Scabbard
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high soft
Cloak
Silver arrow
24 Arrows
3 Torch
3 Oil, flask
Tinderbox
AC 7
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: Woodworker & Salt Water Navigator
Age: 22 (mature)
Max Age: 88
Appearance: Non-Descript
Sanity: Normal
General Tendencies: Moody
Personality: Antagonistic
Disposition: Easy Going
Intellect: Ponderous
Nature: Unforgiving
Materialism: Intellectualist
Honesty: Scrupulous
Bravery: Foolhardy
Energy: Energetic
Thrift: Mean
Morals: Amoral
Piety: Average
Interests: Alruism
Height: 67 inches (5’5”)
Weight: 126 lbs
-----
Coraline (Cora) Tarmikos the Acolyte
Female
Human
Cleric
Str 10 OD: 1-2, BBLG: 2%
Int 8 AL: 1
Wis 14 MAA: +0, SB: +2 1st
Dex 14
Con 11 SSS: 75%, RS: 80%
Chr 15 MH: 7, LB: +15%, RA: +15%
Languages: Common, Alignment (Chaotic Good)
HP: 8
Cleric Spells:
(3 1st): Command, Cure Light Wounds x2
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Weapon Proficiencies: Morning Star, Sling
Equipment:
GP: 0
SP: 6
Scale Armor
Shield, Small Wooden
Morning Star
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high hard
Cloak
Robe
3 Torches
Tinderbox
Sling
32 Sling Bullets
Holy Symbol wooden
AC 5
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: Lapidary
Age: 19 (Young Adult)
Max Age: 124
Appearance: Immaculate
Sanity: Normal
General Tendencies: Opinionated
Personality: Rude
Disposition: Morose
Intellect: Ponderous
Nature: Vengeful
Materialism: Intellectualist
Honesty: Very Honorable
Bravery: Cowardly
Energy: Normal
Thrift: Thrifty
Morals: Virtuous
Piety: Average
Collections: Husbandry
Height: 65 inches (5’3”)
Weight: 106 lbs
-----
Wandiani (Diane) Sandwalker, Aspirant
Female
Half-Elf
Druid
Str 13 +100#, OD: 1-2, BBLG: 4%
Int 7 AL: 0
Wis 13 SB: +1 1st
Dex 15 DA: -1
Con 11 SSS: 75%, RS: 80%
Chr 16 MH: 8, LB: +20%, RA: +25%
Half-Elf Abilities:
30% Resist Sleep & Charm
Languages: Common, Alignment (True Neutral), Elvish, Gnome, Halfling,
Goblin, Hobgoblin, Orcish, Gnoll, Druid
60’ Infravision
1 in 6 detect secret doors within 10’
2 in 6 search for secret doors
3 in 6 sears for concealed portal
HP: 6
Druid Abilities:
+2 Saves vs. Fire & Lightning
Druid Spells:
(3 1st): Animal Friendship, Detect Snares and Pits, Faerie Fire
Alignment: True Neutral
Weapon Proficiencies: Scimitar, Sling
Equipment:
GP: 5
SP: 12
Leather Armor
Shield, Small Wooden
Scimitar
Scabbard
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high hard
Cloak
Sling
32 Sling Bullets
Belladonna
Wolvesbane sprig
Garlic bud
5 Torches
5 Oil Flasks
Sack Large
Mistletoe
Dog, War: AC 6, Move 12”, HD 2+2 (11), Studded Leather Dog Armor
(Name: Meathook)
AC 6
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: Trader
Age: 45 (Mature)
Max Age: 255
Appearance: dirty
Sanity: Normal
General Tendencies: Perceptive
Personality: Modest
Disposition: Hot Tempered
Intellect: Dull
Nature: Hard-Hearted
Materialism: Covetous
Honesty: Scrupulous
Bravery: Normal
Energy: Normal
Thrift: Spendthrift
Morals: Normal
Piety: Pious
Interests: Nature
Height: 61 inches (4’11”)
Weight: 108 lbs
-----
Janiries Chandelier the Prestidigitator
Female
Human
Magic-User
Str 9 OD: 1-2, BBLG: 1%
Int 15 AL: 4, KS: 65%, MinSPL: 7, MaxSPL: 11, MSL: 7th
Wis 12
Dex 7
Con 16 HPA: +2, SSS: 95%, RS: 96%
Chr 14 MH: 6, LB +5%, RA +10%
Languages: Common, Alignment (Lawful Good)
HP: 6 (4+2)
Magic-User Spells:
Known:
In Spell Book: Read Magic, Push, Hold Portal, Find Familiar
Memorized:
(1 1st): Hold Portal
Alignment: Lawful Good
Weapon Proficiencies: Dagger
Equipment:
GP:
SP: 0
CP: 7
Backpack, Leather
Pouch, belt, large
2 Weeks Rations Iron
Waterskin
Belt
Boots, high hard
Cloak
Robe
Bullseye Lantern (on backpack)
6 Oil Flask
6x Dagger
Scabbard
10’ pole
Pigeon
Small Birdcage (equiv, to small wooden chest, on backpack)
Tinderbox
AC 10
Psionics: No
Secondary Skill: Armorer
Age: 35 (Mature)
Max Age: 63
Appearance: Dirty
Sanity: Normal
General Tendencies: helpful/kindly
Personality: Rude
Disposition: Hot Tempered
Intellect: Average
Nature: Forgiving
Materialism: Intellectualist
Honesty: Very Honorable
Bravery: Normal
Energy: Energetic
Thrift: Miserly
Morals: Aesthetic
Piety: Average
Interests: History
Height: 64 inches (5’2”)
Weight: 121 lbs
Justisaur
Sigh, one typo (transposed letters).
Dairy of Pain is where the Whipped Cream comes from, right?
Maybe that's what they were exploring, it would explain the Druid's
interest.
- Justisaur
Sea Wasp (Ryk E. Spoor)
> On Nov 10, 12:16 pm, WDS<B...@seurer.net> wrote:
>> On 11/10/2010 1:58 PM, Justisaur wrote:
>>
>>> Here we go again...
>>
>> For your dairy problems I suggest something like this:http://www.amazon.com/180-Caplets-Fast-Acting-Lactase/dp/B000HI0CKS
>>
>> One the gas is gone the pain will subside. ;-)
>
> Sigh, one typo (transposed letters).
>
> Dairy of Pain is where the Whipped Cream comes from, right?
>
One of our local dairies has delivery trucks with the tagline "You can
Whip our Cream... but you can't Beat our Milk!"
--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Website: http://www.grandcentralarena.com Blog:
http://seawasp.livejournal.com
WDS
> On Nov 10, 12:16 pm, WDS<B...@seurer.net> wrote:
>> On 11/10/2010 1:58 PM, Justisaur wrote:
>>
>>> Here we go again...
>>
>> For your dairy problems I suggest something like this:http://www.amazon.com/180-Caplets-Fast-Acting-Lactase/dp/B000HI0CKS
>>
>> One the gas is gone the pain will subside. ;-)
>
> Sigh, one typo (transposed letters).
Sorry! It was like the perfect setup.
> Dairy of Pain is where the Whipped Cream comes from, right?
Of course.
> Maybe that's what they were exploring, it would explain the Druid's
> interest.
Maybe he's just mooved by bovines.
Vincenzo Beretta
> but then reading through the 1e PHB & DMG there were even
> Barrelgut the Dwarf.
Nothing can beat Ringlerun(tm) Good Wizard & Friends in the names
department. They were characters created by TSR for a line of action
figures, and the names were cheesier than an Italian pizza with double
mozzarella. Kelek(tm) Evil Sorcerer, Zorgar(tm) Evil Barbarian and
Valkeer(tm) Good Norseman were among the cream of the crop (pun intended).
The adventure that introduced them, "XL-1 The Quest for the Heartstone", was
actually pretty good. Thanks to God you could play it with your own
characters - which we did.
The action figures are still out there it seems:
http://www.toyarchive.com/Dungeons&Dragons/Figures/ActionFigures.html
Interestingly enough, the drawing of Warduke(tm) Evil Fighter is among the
pictures being used to pimp the "Essentials" game line. Talk about being
disperate to show "...how classic Essentials is!"
Justisaur
wrote:
> > On the subject of names, I had thought WotC's names a bit cheesy,
> > but then reading through the 1e PHB & DMG there were even
> > cheesier names like Arkayne the Magic-user and Goodboy
> > Barrelgut the Dwarf.
>
> Nothing can beat Ringlerun(tm) Good Wizard & Friends in the names
> department. They were characters created by TSR for a line of action
> figures, and the names were cheesier than an Italian pizza with double
> mozzarella. Kelek(tm) Evil Sorcerer, Zorgar(tm) Evil Barbarian and
> Valkeer(tm) Good Norseman were among the cream of the crop (pun intended).
I'm not sure what makes them cheesy, I must be missing something.
> The adventure that introduced them, "XL-1 The Quest for the Heartstone", was
> actually pretty good. Thanks to God you could play it with your own
> characters - which we did.
>
> The action figures are still out there it seems:http://www.toyarchive.com/Dungeons&Dragons/Figures/ActionFigures.html
>
> Interestingly enough, the drawing of Warduke(tm) Evil Fighter is among the
> pictures being used to pimp the "Essentials" game line. Talk about being
> disperate to show "...how classic Essentials is!"
I'm not sure if Warduke, North Lord, and Grimsword are names or
descriptions. If names, very cheesy.
I vaguely remember talk of Warduke and his ridicule at the time, but
don't remember anything else about the toys.
- Justisaur
Vincenzo Beretta
>> the names department. They were characters created by
>> TSR for a line of action figures, and the names were cheesier
>> than an Italian pizza with double mozzarella. Kelek(tm) Evil
>> Sorcerer, Zorgar(tm) Evil Barbarian and Valkeer(tm) Good Norseman
>> were among the cream of the crop (pun intended).
> I'm not sure what makes them cheesy, I must be missing something.
Mostly the (tm) at the and. And, oh, that when I play with 8 years old kids
when doing volunteer afterschool activities they are able to come up with
cooler names.
cop...@yahoo.com
Pain" ...
Sorry ;)
Brandon