UPDATE #4, Lord of the Rings Empire II
Geoff Cashman
Update #4 for Lord of the Rings Empire II
=====================================================================
[editor's note: Since this game is hidden, the deities are
reluctant to divulge any significant information. Thus, this
post is vague by necessity.]
Lord of the Rings Empire II has now had 22 updates.
Major wars have been fought in the last several updates, with
some seriously powerful nations going toe to toe, seeing who is
the first to succumb. Fully half of the starting nations have
now been knocked out of the game.
There have been several unexpected twists in the game, with
one nation suffering due to the inability of its lawyers to
ratify an NA agreement that actually made sense for them. The ink
wasn't even dry on the NA when their nation came under heavy
attack from the very nation they signed the NA with, and they
had nothing but their lawyers to blame. Word is all the lawyers
in that nation have been executed.
A shocking piece of news came out of Rivendell, where Saruman
was discovered by Elrond's elves. As Saruman was getting into
quite a rage and destroying some property of Elrond, Wormtongue
sprang out of the bushes...
sar saruman #236 was shot and killed.
Gandalf has also been out and about. He cast a good spell on an
Ent of one nation. Then, travelling east of there, he encountered
a nation that was claiming to serve against Mordor, yet housed
Nazgul, Orcs, Wolfriders and Cave Trolls, with nary a 'good'
unit to be seen. Gandalf saw the lie for what it was, and
promptly blew up the sector he was in.
Over the last week, one nation built a truly massive set of
ships, and now owns more than half of the ships in the game.
When asked about this new development, the Admiral of the Fleet
shrugged his gold encrusted shoulders and said, "Oh, just
tinkering you know, doing this and that". Rumors are this
nation intends to make an assault on the Undying Lands.
The winner of the Artistic Cartographer award goes to Rohan,
who managed to make the map of his country look like a horse.
(I kid you not!)
The end game approaches now, as the armies of light gain
momentum. Meanwhile, the Dark Lord has been musing about
his beer...
---
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Sun Nov 16 23:46:03 2003
Sauron's bleary eye begins to focus ...
the map seems greener than before ...
must have had too much bree last night, or was that beer ...
Spelling was never Sauron's strong point ...
Oh my aching head, time for more coffee ...
Its understandable losing count of how much beer you've had,
but you know you had too much when you can't count how many
cups of coffee the next morning
---
Other news on the hops front, the breweries in Beer were nearly
shut down over the last week, as a nasty Elf party ran amok and
nearly destroyed the breweries...
---
> Announcement from Bree, (#4) dated Sat Nov 15 02:13:16 2003
Please bear with us as Elves and Hobbits block our beer delivery
routes. We hope to keep the beer flowing everywhere, but wherever
you get low on stock, don't hesitate to come and get some for
(your)(s)elves...
Just keep the Elves on a leash...
Barliman.
---
Probably the funniest announcement over the last week came from a
player disguising himself as visitor (not wanting to show the world
he was travelling)...
---
> Announcement from visitor, (#43) dated Thu Nov 13 04:51:02 2003
Must playsss itss. We mussst! Stuppiddsss hotelssses, nasty little
dataportsss, trickess us they doesss. No internetesss theresss. Hates
them, we hatesss them! Musst playssss!
---
There is a visitor account available for this game.
EMPIREHOST: empire.tau.ac.il (132.66.152.50)
EMPIREPORT: 1617
visitor/visitor
Announcements over the last week...
=====================================================================
Announcements since Tue Nov 11 16:37:31 2003
> Announcement from Gondor, (#29) dated Tue Nov 11 18:41:42 2003
On firewalls - what is currently working, email and web?
What happens when you go to a non-standard web port
(a server on :8080 or something)? Do you have your browser
configured to use a webcache (in which case you're using a proxy
and not actually sending/receiving beyond the firewall),
using the firewall as a real gateway (real IP address on your
machine, not 192.168, 172.16-31, or 10. addresses), or using
NAT (most likely - network address translation).
If you want some help }:} I can provide you with an IP address
to try connecting to, and look at the traffic you're generating.
For true security though, I recommend removing all incoming wires from
your machine and keeping it in a Faraday cage. This will also
do wonders for the security of your country. :)
> Announcement from Dol_Amroth, (#28) dated Wed Nov 12 00:35:15 2003
What exactly is the criteria for "wreaking
havoc"? Is there a certain amount of sectors
or damage?
P.S. beware the Pirates
> Announcement from The_Shire, (#1) dated Wed Nov 12 00:54:57 2003
>P.S. beware the Pirates
The Pirates better beware. We've got a bunch of hobbits drunk
on Bree beer navigating ships on the high seas with reckless
abandon. Been a few close calls with other friendly vessels,
not to mention our own.
> Announcement from Gondor, (#29) dated Wed Nov 12 01:21:12 2003
Drinking while boating takes years of practice. You do not want
saltwater in your beer. On the plus side, with sufficient beer
frostbite and hypothermia are less of a problem, so you
can practice year round.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Wed Nov 12 05:30:43 2003
Sauron highly recommends Buena Vista Sauvignon Blanc
for your dining pleasure
> Announcement from Harad, (#33) dated Wed Nov 12 09:15:38 2003
? Announcement from Gondor, (#29) dated Tue Nov 11 18:41:42 2003
?If you want some help }:} I can provide you with an IP address
?to try connecting to, and look at the traffic you're generating.
Thank you for the offer. Now that I know a bit more about what
I should be looking for, I'll first take a look myself, and
perhaps call some friends. If that doesn't help, I'll keep
you in mind. I sincerely hope it won't come to that. Maybe
I'll just disable the firewall, and start using ZoneAlarm.
At this point I'm trying to figure this out just for my own
benefit: it would be nice to know a bit more about these things,
even though they're not in my field.
?For true security though, I recommend removing all incoming wires from
?your machine and keeping it in a Faraday cage. This will also
?do wonders for the security of your country. :)
Wonders indeed :-)
The Man
> Announcement from Gondor, (#29) dated Wed Nov 12 11:04:36 2003
From the very secret diary of Denethor:
Day 45:
Wed Nov 12 10:21 Harad spy shot by Gondor firing squad thirty-two times
Harad spies much tougher than nazgul. What sort of undead are these?
> Announcement from Dol_Amroth, (#28) dated Wed Nov 12 14:27:19 2003
Attn. Gondor:
While fun, your method of shooting your enemies
one soldier at a time is not very efficient.
Killing off gobs of them at a time is a much
better solution.
:-)
P.S. Beware the Pirates
> Announcement from Mithrilien, (#41) dated Wed Nov 12 15:29:10 2003
Quiz time!
In The Hobbit, when the spiders captured the dwarves, where
was Thorin?
First right answer telegrammed to Mithrilien wins $50 Empire gold
> Announcement from Mithrilien, (#41) dated Wed Nov 12 15:33:46 2003
Correct answer received!
The spiders managed to capture 12 dwarves, but did not capture
either Bilbo (who ultimately rescued them) or Thorin. Thorin
had previously been captured by the elves of the woodland realm,
though the dwarves and Bilbo did not know it at the time. Bilbo
later discovered Thorin in a deep cell in the elf king's caves.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Wed Nov 12 15:58:05 2003
Real empire players don't need alarm clocks
the natural cycles of their body clocks automatically wake them
an hour before each update
> Announcement from Rohan, (#12) dated Wed Nov 12 16:58:52 2003
} Real empire players don't need alarm clocks
}
} the natural cycles of their body clocks automatically wake them
} an hour before each update
True. Quite a bummer when your coruler is actually covering that graveyard-
update %-}
> Announcement from visitor, (#43) dated Wed Nov 12 16:59:42 2003
Any Dieties covering this update ?
> Announcement from Bree, (#4) dated Wed Nov 12 17:01:57 2003
| Any Dieties covering this update ?
Use the 'player' command and find out...
> Announcement from Gondor, (#29) dated Wed Nov 12 17:04:20 2003
As if Sauron of the Lidless Eye sleeps.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Wed Nov 12 20:58:28 2003
some folks says you can't have too much money
Sauron sez you can't have too much lcm
> Announcement from Dol_Amroth, (#28) dated Wed Nov 12 21:00:25 2003
Galador says you can't have enough shells.
> Announcement from Harondor, (#31) dated Wed Nov 12 21:04:43 2003
}Galador says you can't have enough shells.
You have enough shells.
Trust me
> Announcement from visitor, (#43) dated Thu Nov 13 04:51:02 2003
Must playsss itss. We mussst! Stuppiddsss hotelssses, nasty little
dataportsss, trickess us they doesss. No internetesss theresss. Hates
them, we hatesss them! Musst playssss!
> Announcement from Mithrilien, (#41) dated Thu Nov 13 05:46:45 2003
$50 Empire gold for Visitor
> Announcement from Balchoth, (#23) dated Thu Nov 13 07:35:58 2003
Correct answer received~!~ $50 Empire Dollars go to the winner.
Six. The races represented were Dwarves, Men, Elves, Maiar, Hobbits and Half-elven.
> Announcement from visitor, (#43) dated Thu Nov 13 07:42:44 2003
Quiz Time
How many men were in the army that fought before the Black Gate at the end of the THIRD AGE (not the Last Alliance), and what races were represented?
(There were six, technically, though some might say five.) Name as many as you can.
$50 Empire gold to the first and most correct answer.
> Announcement from Mithrilien, (#41) dated Thu Nov 13 15:24:50 2003
Uh. Er. mmm. What in hell are you guys doing? :)
> Announcement from Mithrilien, (#41) dated Thu Nov 13 15:31:40 2003
God I hate Microsoft. Click on a friggin' hyperlink in MS-Outlook
and the program's gone stupid, taking the web browser with it.
I love my job, except I hate this place's addiction to MS.
MS...not multiple sclerosis anymore. Multiple Stupidity.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Fri Nov 14 05:11:48 2003
Wordz of Wizdom for the Wize
Empire, Chess, and Poker
all have the power to break up a relationship with your wife or girlfriend
so make sure before you get involved with her that she knows
which comes first
or you may regret it later
I still regret missing this great Poker game we had set up during grad school
and letting my poker buddies down by not showing up
> Announcement from Harad, (#33) dated Fri Nov 14 09:55:38 2003
I feel the deities have done an excellent job of
balancing the different units. There are a couple
I've not seen any good reason to build yet, but
overall they present a nice heterogenous mix.
I also like the low mobility max of land units.
Good job!
The Man
> Announcement from Balchoth, (#23) dated Fri Nov 14 10:58:54 2003
Mordor,
Do you speak to your opponents when you play chess?
Bal
> Announcement from Dol_Amroth, (#28) dated Fri Nov 14 10:59:45 2003
I hear he just stares at them with his one
lidless eye...
> Announcement from Dol_Amroth, (#28) dated Fri Nov 14 11:08:35 2003
4 out the last 5 updates at 7 past the hour
or later. ?
> Announcement from Rohan, (#12) dated Fri Nov 14 13:12:56 2003
Ringleaders of the rebellious ingrates,
Thanks for growing all this food in the swamp. Would you care to
share the secret of your advanced agricultural methods? Our gracious
King will consider an amnesty for you wretches in that case.
Erdred, Royal Rohan Bean Counter
> Announcement from Manwe, (#0) dated Fri Nov 14 21:02:12 2003
FYI
During Sunday the server will undergo a maintenance routine
including at least one reboot and possibly a 15-20 minute downtime.
This is likely to occur either between 8 till 11 server time or
between 16 till 18 server time.
You have been informed.
> Announcement from Bree, (#4) dated Sat Nov 15 02:13:16 2003
Please bear with us as Elves and Hobbits block our beer delivery
routes. We hope to keep the beer flowing everywhere, but wherever
you get low on stock, don't hesitate to come and get some for
(your)(s)elves...
Just keep the Elves on a leash...
Barliman.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Sat Nov 15 20:10:55 2003
Mirkwood, Mirkwood, a country truly worthy of respect
I invite the Elven King to turn to the Darkside and ally with Mordor ...
> Announcement from The_Shire, (#1) dated Sat Nov 15 20:24:06 2003
Try it... you'll like it....
> Announcement from Rohan, (#12) dated Sat Nov 15 20:27:48 2003
The Dark Lord also allied with Numenor
and look what happened to them !
They got used as his Pawn (like the chess joke Tom)
and cast to the bottom of the ocean !
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Sat Nov 15 20:35:02 2003
Evil is almost as intoxicating as sacrificing pawns ...
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Sun Nov 16 09:09:24 2003
Mordor is looking forward to Monday, November 17, 2003
The Terminator will be officially inagurated as Governor of the
great state of California
> Announcement from Manwe, (#0) dated Sun Nov 16 10:05:03 2003
Important
The aforementioned maintenance is likely to occur between 16:00 and
18:00 server time today.
Manwe.
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Sun Nov 16 23:46:03 2003
Sauron's bleary eye begins to focus ...
the map seems greener than before ...
must have had too much bree last night, or was that beer ...
Spelling was never Sauron's strong point ...
Oh my aching head, time for more coffee ...
Its understandable losing count of how much beer you've had,
but you know you had too much when you can't count how many
cups of coffee the next morning
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Mon Nov 17 04:59:57 2003
Sauron spies some strange mushroom clouds off in the distance
some are white
some are red
white = atomic bombs he imagines
red = hydrogen bombs ???
Sauron can only dream of the days gone by when such things
were common in Empire ...
> Announcement from Manwe, (#0) dated Mon Nov 17 20:39:18 2003
Important!
It seems that a major TAU router upgrade that was supposed to go
smoothly between 18:00 and 18:30 and be over, wasn't smooth and isn't
over.
I'm on a sick leave at home, but I will try to keep you updated.
If the downtimes of the network spread into tomorrow, the update might
be postponed. It _seems_ unlikely, though.
Manwe.
> Announcement from Manwe, (#0) dated Mon Nov 17 23:43:45 2003
I just got an email that the connections to TAU should be stable from
now on.
Manwe.
> Announcement from The_Shire, (#1) dated Tue Nov 18 03:42:51 2003
[please read in a fixed-width font]
It is with heavy heart that the leader of The Shire, Verge
Enewe, must surrender to the Coalition of the Unbelievably
Numerous Territorial States (CUNTS). Never before has he
seen fully 1/4 of the world come together in the common
cause of peaceful domination.
While The Shire cajoled, wheedled, dominated and, at times,
simply overran its neighbors in an attempt to secure peace
in the west, the CUNTS chose to sing, hug and dance around
the campfire. After the love-in was complete, they then
joined arms in a march across the lands, inciting protests,
work stoppages, sit-ins and other forms of dissent in those
nations that came across their path. Clearly a truly
insidious form of warfare befitting The Dark Lord himself.
Despite the deep-seeded desire to say "the CUNTS stink!",
The Shire will instead, acquiesce to their bizarre methods.
Thus, The Shire will put away its weapons of destruction,
implements of death and flamable munitions. In their place
will be songbooks, hemp bracelets, prayer beads and rounded-
off, tube-like devices that one is apparently meant to sit
on (we are still awaiting the instruction booklets from
Rohan).
So the white flag is raised in the capitol cities - flapping
in the wind for all to see. It is a sharp eye, however, that
makes note of the stitching on the back of the flags:
/ _ \
/ / \ \
| \_/ |
| |
| - |
___ | - | ___
/ \| |/ \
__| | | |
/ | | | |
| | | | | ___
| | | | | / _\
: : / / /
:() ( ) ( ) ( ) :/ \/
: \/
: \/
: /
\ /
\ /
\ |
| |
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Tue Nov 18 04:34:53 2003
Well, Gondor and I are hoping to run a game that will make
it fair for a single player who only has a few hours a day to play.
I think I can do that by making some simple changes to the way
mobility is calculated.
The dieties did an excellent job setting up this LOTR game,
by the way. It is some fundamental flaws in the way empire in general
has evolved that I want to fix
(I can see now how we took a wrong turn 20 years ago, missing
a simple alternative solution)
> Announcement from visitor, (#43) dated Tue Nov 18 08:04:04 2003
= Announcement from The_Shire, (#1) dated Tue Nov 18 03:42:51 2003
=
=[please read in a fixed-width font]... [censored]
Obviously, the Hobbits have lost the One Ring again! *sigh*
"Hey Dilbo, you're not invisible anymore...we can all SEE your hand...
...lookie, no ringie on your finger!"
Hobbits! *shakes head* Give them a ring of power and they think they
should rule Middle Earth.
Now take a closer look at Sauron's anno. Who can tell if HE'S wearing the
One Ring?
- Naz
> Announcement from Mordor, (#25) dated Tue Nov 18 12:56:36 2003
All is silence ...
Sauron is the servant of his allies ...
seeking no victory for Mordor, only victory for his allies
would please him ...
Of course he helps himself to bits and pieces of conquered enemy
territory along the way :-)