Nikolai Titov's Head
Anthony Kenneth Postert
blew apart during at the Moscow Candidate Masters'
Chess Championships do to Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis.
Is there (or, should I say, was there) a Nikolai Titov?
What was his rating? Is there even this tournament?
John P. Phillips
I seriously doubt this. Nikolai is the Russian form of Nicholas, and the
common nickname is "Nick". At the turn of the century, we used to spell
the "ov" Russian suffix as "off". Thus, we get Nick Titoff.
John Paul Phillips
Ben Henwood
I was forwarded the "article." Here it is for your enjoyment!
---------------------------------------------------------------
>Date: 6/3/94 9:31 AM
>From: Craig Mortensen
>>From the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS, May 24, 1994
>
>MOSCOW --
>
>Doctors are blaming a rare electrical imbalance in the brain for the bizarre
>death of a chess player whose head literally exploded in the middle of a
>championship game!
>
>No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but four players and three
>officials at the Moscow Candidate Masters' Chess Championships were sprayed
>with blood and brain matter when Nikolai Titov's head suddenly blew apart.
>
>Experts say he suffered from a condition called Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis or
>HCE.
>
>"He was deep in concentration with his eyes focused on the board," says Titov's
>opponent, Vladimir Dobrynin. "All of a sudden his hands flew to his temples
>and he screamed in pain. Everyone looked up from their games, startled by the
>noise. Then, as if someone had put a bomb in his cranium, his head popped like
>a firecracker." Incredibly, Titiov's is not the
>first case in which a person's head has spontaneously exploded. Five people
>are known to have died of HCE in the last 25 years. The most recent death
>occurred just three years ago in 1991, when European psychic Barbara Nicole's
>skull burst. Miss Nicole's story was reported by newspapers worldwide,
>including WWN. "HCE is an extremely rare physical imbalance," said Dr. Anatoly
>Martinenko, famed neurologist and expert on the human brain who did the autopsy
>on the brilliant chess expert. "It is a condition in which the circuits of
>the brain become overloaded by the body's own electricity. The explosions
>happen during periods of intense mental activity when lots of current is
>surging through the brain. Victims are highly intelligent people with great
>powers of concentration. Both Miss Nicole and Mr. Titov were intense people who
>tended to keep those cerebral
>circuits overloaded. In a way it could be said they were literally too smart
>for their own good." Although Dr. Martinenko says there are probably many
>undiagnosed cases, he hastens to add that very few people will die from HCE.
>
>"Most people who have it will never know. At this point, medical science still
>doesn't know much about HCE. And since fatalities are so rare it will probably
>be years before research money becomes available." In the meantime, the doctor
>urges people to take it easy and not think too hard
>for long periods of time. "Take frequent relaxation breaks when you're doing
>things that take lots of mental focus," he recommends.
>
>(As a public service, WWN added a sidebar titled HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HEAD'S
>ABOUT TO BLOW UP:)
>
>Although HCE is very rare, it can kill. Dr. Martinenko says knowing you have
>the condition can greatly improve your odds of surviving it. A "yes" answer to
>any three of the following seven questions could mean that you have HCE:
>
>1. Does your head sometimes ache when you think too hard? (Head pain can
>indicate overloaded brain circuits.)
>
>2. Do you ever hear a faint ringing or humming sound in your ears? (It could
>be the sound of electricity in the skull cavity.)
>
>3. Do you sometimes find yourself unable to get a thought out of your head?
>(This is a possible sign of too much electrical activity in the cerebral
>cortex.)
>
>4. Do you spend more than five hours a day reading, balancing your checkbook,
>or other thoughtful activity? (A common symptom of HCE is a tendency to
>over-use the brain.)
>
>5. When you get angry or frustrated do you feel pressure in your temples?
>(Friends of people who died of HCE say the victims often complained of head
>pressure in times of strong emotion.)
>
>6. Do you ever overeat on ice cream, doughnuts and other sweets? (A craving
>for sugar is typical of people with too much electrical pressure in the
>cranium.)
>
>7. Do you tend to analyze yourself too much? (HCE sufferers are often
>introspective, "over-thinking" their lives.)
>
--
Ben Henwood
Applied Physics Laboratory / University of Washington
Seattle, WA
ben...@u.washington.edu
b...@apl.washington.edu
Kevin Stokker
Perhaps you did not notice the source of this joke article -- the
Weekly World News. Or, perhaps you are from another country and are
unfamiliar with tabloids? -- they are news look-alike junk publications
sold here in the US to people who get bored standing in line at
grocery stores and want to read a good joke (I guess), or, a much, much
sadder possiblity, to people who are really quite out of it, and probably
think they have been abducted by space aliens or something. [Note how
the article pleads with its readers not to think -- I found that part quite
amusing.]
Kevin Stokker
ke...@eye.com
Randell Jesup
You failed to note the source for the story: the World Weekly News.
I.e. the same supermarket trash with "bat-baby born to horrified parents!"
on the cover. Whoever posted it should have included some smileys at the
end.
--
Randell Jesup, Scala US R&D
Randel...@scala.com
Ex-Commodore-Amiga Engineer, class of '94
#include <std/disclaimer>
Pierre Moulin
The article describing the alleged incident appeared in the supermarket
tabloid "Weekly World News Report". Others stories published in recent issues
of this fine magazine include:
* five US senators are aliens from outer space,
* a WWII bomber has been located on the moon...
James Aspnes
Pierre Moulin <mou...@wind.bellcore.com> wrote:
>The article describing the alleged incident appeared in the supermarket
>tabloid "Weekly World News Report". Others stories published in recent issues
>of this fine magazine include:
> * five US senators are aliens from outer space,
Actually, they reported that twelve US senators are space aliens.
Three of them have since admitted it to the mainstream press, for what
that's worth.
But the real question is: how can we get the Weekly World News to
carry a chess column?
Brad Culter
Randell Jesup <je...@scala.scala.com> wrote:
>pos...@owlnet.rice.edu (Anthony Kenneth Postert) wrote:
>>It was reported that Nikolai Titov's head suddenly
>>blew apart during at the Moscow Candidate Masters'
>>Chess Championships do to Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis.
>>
>>Is there (or, should I say, was there) a Nikolai Titov?
>>What was his rating? Is there even this tournament?
>
> You failed to note the source for the story: the World Weekly News.
>I.e. the same supermarket trash with "bat-baby born to horrified parents!"
>on the cover. Whoever posted it should have included some smileys at the
>end.
>
I dunno. Maybe there was a Scanner at the tournament :-) :-)
Mr. E. Nowell
: It was reported that Nikolai Titov's head suddenly
: blew apart during at the Moscow Candidate Masters'
: Chess Championships do to Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis.
Recently I was watching a game and during the period when one player
was thinking about what move to seal his oppenent went into an
epileptic fit. The sealed-move period may be more stressful than
others during a game.
Is there any evidence that people suffering from epilepsy have attacks
at stressful times?
Ought sufferers be dissuaded from playing chess?
Eric Nowell
John Neatrour
Mr. E. Nowell <jl...@liverpool.ac.uk> wrote:
[del]
> Is there any evidence that people suffering from epilepsy have attacks
> at stressful times?
Yes. In fact some forms of seizures are related to very specific stressors.
> Ought sufferers be dissuaded from playing chess?
Absolutely not! The worst possible thing is to invalidize an epileptic. The
person you witnessed having difficulty with sealing a move should be
encouraged to seek advice from his physician. It may be as simple as a more
refined titration of the medication he may be taking.
j neatrour
Meyer A. Billmers
aspnes...@cs.yale.edu (James Aspnes) wrote:
> But the real question is: how can we get the Weekly World News to
> carry a chess column?
Maybe if we tell them about alt.chess.bdg, they'll bite. After all,
isn't the tabloid world just waiting to hear about chess and bondage?
Or chess and bodybuilding?
Or maybe a story about a chessplayer injured by an exploding piece?
Stabbed by a fork? Murdered by his opponent's poisoned pawn?
Aha, I have it! Ritual sacrifice!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Meyer A. Billmers Digital Equipment Corporation
bill...@mko.dec.com Multivendor Customer Service
(603) 884-0350 Applied Research Group
Mike Westbrook
-}In Article: <2t2raj...@PINE.THEORY.CS.YALE.EDU> from Newsgroup rec.games.chess,
-}aspnes...@cs.yale.edu (James Aspnes) wrote:
-}
-} > But the real question is: how can we get the Weekly World News to
-} > carry a chess column?
-}
-}Maybe if we tell them about alt.chess.bdg, they'll bite. After all,
-}isn't the tabloid world just waiting to hear about chess and bondage?
-}Or chess and bodybuilding?
-}
-}...
Hey, farmers, and I call you "farmers", because who the hell *else* would be up
at this time in the morning??!
Now the secret can be revealed!! It's the Weekly World News that *runs*
alt.chess.bdg!!!
B low
D up
G ood !!!
(-: Mike :-)
"Blowed up good!" - Big Jim McBob Farm Film Celebrity
"Yeah, blowed up _real_ good!!" - Billy Sol Hurok Blowup, SCTV
"May the good Lord take a likin' to you and blow you up _real_ _soon_!!"