thanksgiving expenses got you down?
blake murphy
Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving with
my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly grandmother. But
this year, his family is demanding that we pay a cover嚙碼we're each being
charged $40 per person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner (not catered).
Both my boyfriend and I are outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a
freeloader. I'd be happy to cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those
to dinner. But paying $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's
ridiculous, especially since I'm a graduate student, and money is always
tight.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend has agreed to suck it up and cough up the $40.
He hates that he has to pay a fee, but he refuses to stand up to his
family. Meanwhile, he feels like he has to go to the dinner, because he
doesn't want to hurt his grandmother's feelings by skipping out on
Thanksgiving.
My question is this: Should I suck it up, too, and pay this fee? And, aside
from boycotting the meal, what can I do to communicate to the family that
making money off of us at Thanksgiving is unacceptable?
Emily Yoffe: I guess this year you can be grateful that your boyfriend's
family is not demanding you pay $80 a head for Thanksgiving. Putting in
place a cover charge is not the way to engender good feelings. And unless
his family is getting the meal catered, $40 a person sounds like a lot for
white meat and sweet potato casserole. The obvious answer was to have
everyone bring something so that no one's cost was significant. On the
other hand, maybe the burden of the meal usually falls on one family
member, and he or she can't handle it. In that case, there's nothing wrong
with people contributing so that no one goes broke for a family event. But
you don't do it by announcing a cover charge. Your boyfriend should explain
that he'll pay the full freight and something to cover your meal but that
your finances are too tight to pay the listed price. I hope that means you
still get to put whipped cream on your pumpkin pie.
your pal,
blake
Chemo the Clown
> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>
> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving with
> my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly grandmother. But
I wouldn't go.
Nancy Young
> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>
> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
> with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
> grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
> cover嚙碼we're each being charged $40 per person for a standard
> Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
> outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
> cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
> $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
> since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings
for that price, just for starters. And charging your family? Since they're
not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be moist
and delicious. Ten side dishes and five desserts. I wonder if they're
expected
to tip. Do they need to be entertaining during dinner or just talk between
themselves like they would in a restaurant?
nancy
Cheryl
"blake murphy" <blakepm...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:ws14ul25azwp.c...@40tude.net...
> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>
>
> aside
> from boycotting the meal, what can I do to communicate to the family that
> making money off of us at Thanksgiving is unacceptable?
>
> Emily Yoffe:
Ridiculous, and Emily's response was ridiculous, too. I wouldn't go. I
can't imagine any of my family asking for me to pay to eat at their house,
so I'm not sure what I'd say, but I would have to say I had a conflict and
had to eat at my significant other's family's house this year.
pavane
"Nancy Young" <rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote in message news:5fiPm.71188$Cs2....@newsfe13.ams2...
| blake murphy wrote:
| > from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
| >
| > Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
| > with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
| > grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
| > Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
| > outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
| > cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
| > $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
| > since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
|
| All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings
| for that price, just for starters. And charging your family? Since they're
| not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be moist
| and delicious. Ten side dishes and five desserts. I wonder if they're
| expected
| to tip.
That's a great thought, I hadn't considered tipping. What would be proper tip
in a family setting that charged $40 per person? And should the boyfriend
pay his date's tip? I wonder what they have planned for Christmas...?
pavane
Ran?e at Arabian Knits
blake murphy <blakepm...@verizon.net> wrote:
> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>
> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving with
> my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly grandmother. But
> this year, his family is demanding that we pay a cover�Xwe're each being
> charged $40 per person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner (not catered).
> Both my boyfriend and I are outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a
> freeloader. I'd be happy to cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those
> to dinner. But paying $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's
> ridiculous, especially since I'm a graduate student, and money is always
> tight.
I cannot even fathom this. Who charges people to come eat at their
home at all? Let alone for a family holiday? If it couldn't be
afforded, dividing the meal into different families bringing different
dishes is fine, or scaling back, or asking someone else to host or...
There are so many other ways to handle this that wouldn't be so crude.
Regards,
Ranee @ Arabian Knits
"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13
Stu
wrote:
-->
-->"Nancy Young" <rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:5fiPm.71188$Cs2....@newsfe13.ams2...
-->| blake murphy wrote:
-->| > from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
-->| >
-->| > Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
-->| > with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
-->| > grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
-->| > cover�Xwe're each being charged $40 per person for a standard
-->| > Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
-->| > outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
-->| > cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
-->| > $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
-->| > since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
-->|
-->| All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings
-->| for that price, just for starters. And charging your family? Since
they're
-->| not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be moist
-->| and delicious. Ten side dishes and five desserts. I wonder if they're
-->| expected
-->| to tip.
-->
-->That's a great thought, I hadn't considered tipping. What would be proper
tip
-->in a family setting that charged $40 per person? And should the boyfriend
-->pay his date's tip? I wonder what they have planned for Christmas...?
-->
-->pavane
-->
Well a precedent has been set, Christmas will probably be the same.
I'd boycott this thanksgiving, sending a thank you but no to the family,
suggesting that at Christmas everyone should go to a restaurant.
Melba's Jammin'
This is hysterically funny!! I would want to know who *exactly*
is demanding the cover charge. And since I'm paying a fee, I
would want an accounting of the monies. Except that I would not
attend. But I would want to hear the response to my expectation
of an accounting.
First, I'd send the gutless boyfriend packing and I'd send my regrets
to the hostess ? no reason is required. Then I'd call the pastor at church
(I know, not everyone goes to church) and either invite myself to his
house (big Italian family) or ask for the name of someone who will be alone
on the day but would like company, and we'd have dinner together.
Large amounts of wine could be involved. LOL!
What a hoot!
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - Who Said Chickens Have Fingers? 10-30-2009
Stan Horwitz
> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>
> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving with
> my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly grandmother. But
> this year, his family is demanding that we pay a cover�Xwe're each being
> charged $40 per person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner (not catered).
> Both my boyfriend and I are outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a
> freeloader. I'd be happy to cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those
> to dinner. But paying $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's
> ridiculous, especially since I'm a graduate student, and money is always
> tight.
Hell would freeze over before I would pay to attend a family dinner.
I would either stay home, attend dinner at a friend's house, or volunteer
to help serve dinner in a soup kitchen. I have no objection to a potluck style
Thanksgiving dinner, but to charge relatives money to attend dinner is
outrageous.
Lou Decruss
<barbsc...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>First, I'd send the gutless boyfriend packing.
I think that pretty much sums it up right there. If he was raised in
and accepts that kind of behavior I'd bet he's not much different.
Lou
brooklyn1
wrote:
I would RSVP with a note: Please be advised that due to the present
state of the economy the fee for the pleasure of my company for
Thanksgiving dinner is now $100 per hour with a three hour minimum.
Dave Smith
>
> I cannot even fathom this. Who charges people to come eat at their
> home at all? Let alone for a family holiday? If it couldn't be
> afforded, dividing the meal into different families bringing different
> dishes is fine, or scaling back, or asking someone else to host or...
> There are so many other ways to handle this that wouldn't be so crude.
It sounds like a family that I would be steering clear of. I can't
imagine being expected to pay to attend a family dinner. I can get a
fresh turkey big enough to easily feed 8 people for under $25. A bag of
potatoes is what??? $3, vegetables, salad fixings, maybe another
$10-12?? Drinks?... half a bottle of wine per person, tops. She could
put on a pretty good meal at home including the wine, for less than what
those tightwads are demanding from this young couple. Screw that, I
would stay as far as possible from that clan, and since apples don't
fall far from the tree, I have to wonder what sort of overbearing
tightwad his genes are going to turn him into. Run. Run as far as you
can from those cheap bastards.
Dave Smith
> Hell would freeze over before I would pay to attend a family dinner.
> I would either stay home, attend dinner at a friend's house, or volunteer
> to help serve dinner in a soup kitchen. I have no objection to a potluck style
> Thanksgiving dinner, but to charge relatives money to attend dinner is
> outrageous.
I have had enough of a problem with time and expenses for in-law family
gatherings. One SiL, actually ex-wife of late brother in law, lives in a
city 70 miles from here. I can get to her condo in about an hour and a
quarter, spend a few hours at the party and drive home in an hour and a
quarter, which means it is a half day affair and I can leave the dog at
home. But she has her special parties at her cottage, which is four
hours away. She makes it clear that she cannot put us up. That means we
have to stay in a hotel. Since that is resort country, a hotel room is
a minimum $150. In order to attend her big birthday party I am looking
at a four hour drive each way, a tank and a half of gas, $150 or more
for a hotel, put the dog in a kennel for another $50, then a couple
meals at the hotel, I am looking at more than $250 and two days to
attend a party for a few hours, when I could have done it in an
afternoon for less than $20 for gas. Nuts to that!!
We managed to explain that to wacko ex SiL and let her know that we
would be able to make the next one if she has it at home. We no sooner
get out of that than another relative living in that same city issues a
similar invitation for a party that she is holding at her father's
cottage, also 4 hours away, and for the next weekend. She was not so
understanding and was apparently quite hurt that we could not make it.
For all I know, she probably thinks that we turned down the invitation
because she made it clear that they would be serving soft drinks only,
so we aren't coming because there is no free booze. You expect me to
spend 8 hours driving and spend a night in a hotel in order to attend
your party and you expect me to BYOB??? Give me a few drinks and put
me up in a hotel.
Melba's Jammin'
Sqwertz <swe...@cluemail.compost> wrote:
> Cantonese roasted duck. His girlfriend from Taiwan, was horrified
> by the sight of the "bleeding" roast, but she did eat some of her
Reminds me of my son-in-law. He admits he likes steak or a rib roast
done to medium--as long as the lights are low. <grin>
Melba's Jammin'
brooklyn1 <grave...@verizon.net> wrote:
> I would RSVP with a note: Please be advised that due to the present
> state of the economy the fee for the pleasure of my company for
> Thanksgiving dinner is now $100 per hour with a three hour minimum.
Perfect.
sf
Have you considered the thought that being 4 hours away is an easy way
to pare down the guest list and not look like she's leaving anyone
out? Not putting you up and BYOB is just the icing on the cake.
Unfortunately, sometimes plans like that can come back to bite people
on the butt when guests they want to attend don't and people who are
invited just because they're family show up.
--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
sf
<knews...@gmail.com> wrote:
>Well, Olive Garden says they 'treat you like family',
>and THEY charge you..
LOL!
blake murphy
> blake murphy wrote:
>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>
>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
>> with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
>> grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
>> cover嚙碼we're each being charged $40 per person for a standard
>> Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
>> outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
>> cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
>> $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
>> since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
>
> All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings
> for that price, just for starters.
and powerful cocktails.
>And charging your family? Since they're
> not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be moist
> and delicious.
i wonder how granny would feel if you sent your plate back to the kitchen.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
maybe granny would be considered the owner of the 'restaurant,' and thus
somehow gauche to tip.
your pal,
blake
Dave Smith
>> We managed to explain that to wacko ex SiL and let her know that we
>> would be able to make the next one if she has it at home. We no sooner
>> get out of that than another relative living in that same city issues a
>> similar invitation for a party that she is holding at her father's
>> cottage, also 4 hours away, and for the next weekend. She was not so
>> understanding and was apparently quite hurt that we could not make it.
>> For all I know, she probably thinks that we turned down the invitation
>> because she made it clear that they would be serving soft drinks only,
>> so we aren't coming because there is no free booze. You expect me to
>> spend 8 hours driving and spend a night in a hotel in order to attend
>> your party and you expect me to BYOB??? Give me a few drinks and put
>> me up in a hotel.
>
> Have you considered the thought that being 4 hours away is an easy way
> to pare down the guest list and not look like she's leaving anyone
> out?
I had not considered that. In the case of the (ex) sister in law, she
invites everyone and she is hard to say no to. She invites everyone in
the family and friends. The chalet was their weekend home. They lived in
a small place in the city and spent every weekend up there, the sort of
thing a lot of city people do.... exist in a small place in the city and
live for the weekend at the cottage.
My problem is that I would gladly go if it was at her place in the city.
It would be a half day affair to go there, spend a few hours and come
home. Most of the rest of the family and the friends live in the same
city. The chalet is nice and there is more room, but it changes it from
a half day affair with just the cost of the gas to drive 1-1/4 each way
(not a big deal), to a two day affair with a significant cost in fuel,
hotel and restaurant meals.
The problem was compounded when a niece decided to do the same thing.
That would have meant two weekends in a row travelling back and forth,
and double the added expense. We could not use our excuse to back out
of one and then to the other. We went to neither. (ex) SIL was
understanding when we explained about the cost and the conflict with our
usual weekend activities. The niece was apparently quite hurt. Her
mother called to plead with us.
> Not putting you up and BYOB is just the icing on the cake.
I found it offensive that we should be expected to travel so far for a
party and to be told up front that after going to all that effort and
expense we had to bring our own drinks, Especially in this case. It was
Big Niece. For her and her husband the concept of BYOB is to bring a
couple cans of beer and then drink as much as they can scrounge at the
party, and pot luck means to bring a small amount of something cheap and
then pig out on the good stuff that others brought.
> Unfortunately, sometimes plans like that can come back to bite people
> on the butt when guests they want to attend don't and people who are
> invited just because they're family show up.
We explained that we would gladly attend parties hosted at their homes,
which we can easily get to, but it's just too much of our time and too
expensive for us. Luckily, SiL turned out to be understanding enough
that she still extended a standing invitation to come up and stay. The
chalet is at the bottom of a ski hill, and it is close to a lake, so it
is a nice place to visit summer or winter. We have gone up many times
and stayed there overnight or for a few days. We have a nice visit and I
do some plumbing and electrical repairs.
blake murphy
> On Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:14:07 -0500, blake murphy wrote:
>
>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>
>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving with
>> my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly grandmother. But
>> this year, his family is demanding that we pay a cover嚙碼we're each being
>> charged $40 per person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner (not catered).
>
> Trolls are everywhere.
>
> -sw
maybe, but i don't think so. i've heard many stories (albeit in the same
advice-type columns) about people finagling their friends to take them to a
luxe restaurant for their birthdays and chipping in to cover birthday
girl's tab. or asking for cash in lieu of wedding gifts, etc.
this may be a step beyond that, but not a giant step.
ooh, unless you're referring to *me* as a troll, which is entirely
possible.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
you just naturally think like a hooker.
blake
blake murphy
it's just weird. it's like inviting people to your wedding in hawaii and
becoming incensed if they don't want to spend their vacation watching you
get married. unless you're gonna pay the freight, um, no.
your pal,
blake
gloria.p
>
> Have you considered the thought that being 4 hours away is an easy way
> to pare down the guest list and not look like she's leaving anyone
> out? Not putting you up and BYOB is just the icing on the cake.
> Unfortunately, sometimes plans like that can come back to bite people
> on the butt when guests they want to attend don't and people who are
> invited just because they're family show up.
>
My thought exactly. If people really wanted the entire guest
list to show up, they'd make it very convenient for all. An
eight hour round trip drive, even once a year, is asking a lot
just for a stinkin' party. IMO occasions like weddings and
special birthdays are different and worth more effort.
We've flown to Europe and halfway across the country in both
directions to attend weddings of people who are special to us.
I wouldn't make that kind of effort for a party.
Additionally, these people might be all self-important over
having a cottage and wanting to wave it under everyone's nose.
It's not your duty to feed their collective egos.
"So sorry, we can't make it up there. Give us a call when you
come to town."
gloria p
phaeton
-J
sf
wrote:
I'd be the family that shows up anyway (if I liked the area, I'd make
a long weekend out of it too). LOL! Hey, I was invited.
sf
<blakepm...@verizon.net> wrote:
>On Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:31:27 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>> blake murphy wrote:
>>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>>
>>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
>>> with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
>>> grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
>>> cover�Xwe're each being charged $40 per person for a standard
>>> Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
>>> outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
>>> cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
>>> $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
>>> since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
>>
>> All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and trimmings
>> for that price, just for starters.
>
>and powerful cocktails.
>
>>And charging your family? Since they're
>> not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be moist
>> and delicious.
>
>i wonder how granny would feel if you sent your plate back to the kitchen.
>
I'm thinking that the OP's BF must not have been in on the time when
his family got together and told Aunt so and so how much they
appreciate that she hosts Thanksgiving every year, but times are tough
now and they wanted to pitch in some money to help with expenses. If
the OP has a hard time with the concept of just showing up empty
handed (which they probably do every year anyway) and contributing $
to the pot, then they shouldn't go. It's a simple choice.
sf
<blahb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Bullshit article.
>
Agreed. That said, some people on the East Coast do make money by
hosting parties (sometimes they are dinner parties) other people pay
to attend. I haven't noticed it out here, but I'm not saying it
doesn't happen.
Wayne Boatwright
What if it was in Beirut?
--
~~ If there's a nit to pick, some nitwit will pick it. ~~
~~ A mind is a terrible thing to lose. ~~
**********************************************************
Wayne Boatwright
sf
It Beirut 4 hours away? That's the time it takes us to get to the
mountains here... well a little less, but you get the picture.
Dave Smith
> it's just weird. it's like inviting people to your wedding in hawaii and
> becoming incensed if they don't want to spend their vacation watching you
> get married. unless you're gonna pay the freight, um, no.
Destination weddings seem to be gaining in popularity. People go away to
Caribbean islands or cruises to get married and expect friends and
relatives to spend a week of their vacation time and a lot of money on
their special day. FWIW, we were invited to a wedding in Colorado for my
wife's cousin's son. We were not going to go. My wife was retired but I
was still working. However.... I started thinking about it and
considered that it might make vacation of it. The cousin was thrilled to
get our acceptance and insisted on putting us up in a hotel, and we were
invited to the rehearsal party. We had a great time, but we had a car
rental and were on our own, went up to Estes park for a few nights.
Dave Smith
> I'm thinking that the OP's BF must not have been in on the time when
> his family got together and told Aunt so and so how much they
> appreciate that she hosts Thanksgiving every year, but times are tough
> now and they wanted to pitch in some money to help with expenses. If
> the OP has a hard time with the concept of just showing up empty
> handed (which they probably do every year anyway) and contributing $
> to the pot, then they shouldn't go. It's a simple choice.
There could be something to do with that. The kid may be the eternal
mooch who expects to be entertained at someone else's expense and never
returns the favour. Even so, insisting that they come and that they pay
$40 a head.... $80 for one couple for a Thanksgiving dinner. They sound
light tightwads, and I doubt that people like that would be spending the
money on something really special. You can feed a small group for less
than the $80 they are expected to make. Even a catered TG dinner isn't
going to cost $40 per person.
I realize that some families are different. I was lucky to have been
raised in a more normal family. When I was a kid, family holiday dinners
rotated between my parents and grandparents. After my grandfather died
(he usually prepared the big feasts), my mother held them, and as my
brothers and I married and had our own families they got bigger. Then,
with brothers having to split holidays with parents and inlaws, we
started having my parents for some holidays and my brothers had them for
others.
Now that my parents are gone, my brothers and I rotate. Last year I had
one of my brothers and his wife's parents for Christmas. We also had
them for Thanksgiving. This year we are going to my his place for
Christmas. We have also had my oldest brother and his family (including
the super picky eater son), and we have gone to their place.
We usually expect to take something to contribute to the meal, which
eases the work load for the host and hostess, and we take lots of wine.
You can bet your last dollar that if anyone ever suggests paying $40 a
head to attend, we won't be going.
Dave Smith
> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:49:28 -0800 (PST), phaeton
> <blahb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Bullshit article.
>>
> Agreed. That said, some people on the East Coast do make money by
> hosting parties (sometimes they are dinner parties) other people pay
> to attend. I haven't noticed it out here, but I'm not saying it
> doesn't happen.
My new neighbour has a party every two or three months. They always have
some beer and wine to offer, and food. While no one is told to bring
anything, almost everyone does. They have some Mexican friends who
always show up with a huge load of food. They will bring enough of three
or four dishes to serve at least 20 people. It sure makes hosting a lot
of people a lot less hassle and expense.
Steve Pope
> That said, some people on the East Coast do make money by
> hosting parties (sometimes they are dinner parties) other people pay
> to attend. I haven't noticed it out here, but I'm not saying it
> doesn't happen.
It does happen, in the sense that in the eastbay there are
frequently parties charging $1 or $2, the money from which
is used to pay the security guard.
I have not personally attended such an event.
There are also some semi-floating house concerts / parties that
charge up to $5, with the money supposedly going to the musicians,
(who usually play music in a Lo-fi or minimalist genre).
I've been to a few of those.
Steve
phaeton
And well, 'huge potluck parties' are usually pretty fun and a positive
social experience. In this case, everyone knows what it is going into
it. In the case of the article, the story is about supplanting an
otherwise normal tradition of families coming together for a large
meal.
Doesn't change the fact that I still think it is a troll article.
Either sensationalism derived from the columnist to stir up shit, or
yet another angry feminist yarn. The fact that we're all discussing
it is proof that it is effective, though.
-J
Wayne Boatwright
Yes, about the ame for us, too, if we want to go up to Sedona or Flagstaff.
Christine Dabney
>On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:49:28 -0800 (PST), phaeton
><blahb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>Bullshit article.
>>
>Agreed. That said, some people on the East Coast do make money by
>hosting parties (sometimes they are dinner parties) other people pay
>to attend. I haven't noticed it out here, but I'm not saying it
>doesn't happen.
It does happen out in the bay area. I have found there is a real
underground thing going on...
Christine
--
http://nightstirrings.blogspot.com
Steve Pope
Are you thinking in part of the "house restaurant" trend?
Steve
Christine Dabney
Since I am becoming more involved in food blogging circles, I have
become aware that there is a real underground movement for such dinner
parties, with roving chefs, etc.. Same idea on your concerts, but
paying for the materials. I have a website where such activities are
listed...
It is very underground, so as to evade the authorities. Sort of like
private dinner parties, but with well regarded chefs, and people
furnishing a location for the dinner.
Christine
--
http://nightstirrings.blogspot.com
Christine Dabney
Yes. There is a real floating network out there...or underground.
The one in particular isn't so much a restaurant thing, but close. I
found a website from some fellow bloggers that focuses on such
dinners....
I would like to go to one, some time.
Christine
--
http://nightstirrings.blogspot.com
Steve Pope
>On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 21:38:34 +0000 (UTC), spo...@speedymail.org
>>Are you thinking in part of the "house restaurant" trend?
>Yes. There is a real floating network out there...or underground.
>The one in particular isn't so much a restaurant thing, but close. I
>found a website from some fellow bloggers that focuses on such
>dinners....
>I would like to go to one, some time.
A restaurant very near where I live, Digs Bistro, got its start
as an underground restaurant in Oakland. Once they achieved
a certain level of success they were able to go legitimate.
I suspect this sequence of events is more common than many people think.
Steve
Christine Dabney
(Steve Pope) wrote:
>A restaurant very near where I live, Digs Bistro, got its start
>as an underground restaurant in Oakland. Once they achieved
>a certain level of success they were able to go legitimate.
>
>I suspect this sequence of events is more common than many people think.
>
>Steve
Yes, I think so.
I have become aware of a lot of things lately, just by hanging in food
blogging circles. And now, with the advent of this new SFBA (and
northern CA) food blogging group, I am hearing of all sorts of private
events, tastings, etc. Some are being set up just for food bloggers
(and their guests)...
Christine
--
http://nightstirrings.blogspot.com
Nancy Young
> Doesn't change the fact that I still think it is a troll article.
> Either sensationalism derived from the columnist to stir up shit, or
> yet another angry feminist yarn. The fact that we're all discussing
> it is proof that it is effective, though.
Feminist? I don't know where that came from, but I have read
similar stories in the past. I'm not surprised that there are people
in the world strange enough to pull a stunt like charging for
Thanksgiving dinner.
nancy
phaeton
Ok, maybe not entirely feminist. I shouldn't have used that word.
The part about how it's *his* family being outrageous (except for his
poor, ailing grandmother), and how he's to emasculated to stand up to
them, etc etc kinda led me to that.
I only had half a cup of coffee in me when I posted that. But, I will
concur that I was off base using the F word.
-J
Nancy Young
> On Nov 26, 5:10 pm, "Nancy Young" <rjynly...@comcast.net> wrote:
>> phaeton wrote:
>>> Doesn't change the fact that I still think it is a troll article.
>>> Either sensationalism derived from the columnist to stir up shit, or
>>> yet another angry feminist yarn. The fact that we're all discussing
>>> it is proof that it is effective, though.
>>
>> Feminist? I don't know where that came from, but I have read
>> similar stories in the past. I'm not surprised that there are people
>> in the world strange enough to pull a stunt like charging for
>> Thanksgiving dinner.
> Ok, maybe not entirely feminist. I shouldn't have used that word.
> The part about how it's *his* family being outrageous (except for his
> poor, ailing grandmother), and how he's to emasculated to stand up to
> them, etc etc kinda led me to that.
Ah. It wouldn't matter to me if the roles were reversed and it
was the girlfriend who went along with the cockamamie scheme
her family cooked up.
Besides, whoever is doing the asking is the one who's supposed to
pay. Can you picture collecting money from your date to dine at
your parents house? It is kind of laughable and sounds too stupid
to be true. I have read something like that in the past, that's why
I'm inclined to think there are people who'd do that.
Really what I thought was There is more to that story, I bet.
nancy
Nancy Young
$80 is not contributing to the pot. That's paying for everyone's dinner.
nancy
Dave Smith
>>>
>>>> And charging your family? Since they're
>>>> not guests but paying customers, the turkey better damned well be
>>>> moist and delicious.
>>>
>>> i wonder how granny would feel if you sent your plate back to the
>>> kitchen.
>>>
>> I'm thinking that the OP's BF must not have been in on the time when
>> his family got together and told Aunt so and so how much they
>> appreciate that she hosts Thanksgiving every year, but times are tough
>> now and they wanted to pitch in some money to help with expenses. If
>> the OP has a hard time with the concept of just showing up empty
>> handed (which they probably do every year anyway) and contributing $
>> to the pot, then they shouldn't go. It's a simple choice.
>
> $80 is not contributing to the pot. That's paying for everyone's dinner.
Indeed. Given the cost of a turkey and the cost of the usual dishes, $80
should pay for the whole meal. That means that the woman and her
boyfriend are paying for dinner for the whole family, or else the
parents are charing everyone and pocketing a substantial profit.
gloria.p
> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 09:49:28 -0800 (PST), phaeton
> <blahb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Bullshit article.
>>
> Agreed. That said, some people on the East Coast do make money by
> hosting parties (sometimes they are dinner parties) other people pay
> to attend. I haven't noticed it out here, but I'm not saying it
> doesn't happen.
>
>
I knew someone like that. She gave elegant, elaborate dinner
parties and wouldn't let anyone bring anything because she was
such a controlling beeyatch. She charged admission instead,
explaining she wanted everything "perfect". Cripes, if I'm gonna
pay for dinner, I'll go to a restaurant and order what I want.
gloria p
Wayne Boatwright
I would even feel differently about it if the host/hostess told me they
really wanted to give a very nice party but couldn't afford it, and asked
if I would be willing to share a small amount of the expense. This, among
close friends, of course.
Actually charging a fee for attending is nothing if not crass.
Dave Smith
If you didn't like the meal or the service could you complain to the
manager and get comped? :-)
Bob Terwilliger
>> My question is this: Should I suck it up, too, and pay this fee? And,
>> aside from boycotting the meal, what can I do to communicate to the
>> family that making money off of us at Thanksgiving is unacceptable?
>>
>> Emily Yoffe:
>
> Ridiculous, and Emily's response was ridiculous, too. I wouldn't go. I
> can't imagine any of my family asking for me to pay to eat at their house,
> so I'm not sure what I'd say, but I would have to say I had a conflict and
> had to eat at my significant other's family's house this year.
I'd offer to make Thanksgiving dinner for everyone at my house -- for only
$39.95 apiece!
Bob
Gregory Morrow
> On Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:42:28 -0500, pavane wrote:
>
>> "Nancy Young" <rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote in message
>> news:5fiPm.71188$Cs2....@newsfe13.ams2...
>>> blake murphy wrote:
>>>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>>>
>>>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated
>>>> Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family, which includes his
>>>> ailing, elderly grandmother. But this year, his family is
>>>> demanding that we pay a cover�Xwe're each being charged $40 per
>>>> person for a standard Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my
>>>> boyfriend and I are outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a
>>>> freeloader. I'd be happy to cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and
>>>> bring those to dinner. But paying $40 for a Turkey dinner with
>>>> family? That's ridiculous, especially since I'm a graduate
>>>> student, and money is always tight.
>>>
>>> All I can think is Wow. That had better be some fine turkey and
>>> trimmings for that price, just for starters. And charging your
>>> family? Since they're not guests but paying customers, the turkey
>>> better damned well be moist
>>> and delicious. Ten side dishes and five desserts. I wonder if
>>> they're expected
>>> to tip.
>>
>> That's a great thought, I hadn't considered tipping. What would be
>> proper tip
>> in a family setting that charged $40 per person? And should the
>> boyfriend
>> pay his date's tip?
>
> maybe granny would be considered the owner of the 'restaurant,' and
> thus somehow gauche to tip.
Yeah, and don't hesitate to report gauche granny to the IRS about that
"income"...
--
Best
Greg
Gregory Morrow
There's some pretty cheap 'n petty folks out there, Nancy, I've run into
quite a few over the years. Always spoiling others' good times by their
schnorrer - ish ways.
I'm not at all surprised by the advice column's tale...
--
Best
Greg
Gregory Morrow
"Rent parties" were once a feature of life, IIRC especially in the black
community. The GREAT Louis Jordan wrote a song about it (one of his other
famous songs was _Saturday Night Fish Fry_), goog for a download.
--
Best
Greg
Steve Pope
>"Rent parties" were once a feature of life, IIRC especially in the black
>community.
I thought that was a prostitutions thing. "renting".
S.
Gregory Morrow
Here's one reference, it's pretty interesting:
http://www.routledge-ny.com/ref/harlem/parties.html
"House-Rent Parties
Although house-rent parties once flourished in the black neighborhoods of
Chicago, Detroit, Washington D.C., and other cities, they have become most
closely associated with Harlem. During the 1920s and 1930s (and even into
the 1940s), such parties formed the backbone of Harlem nightlife, and became
for many working people not only an enjoyable and affordable way to dance
and socialize but also an economic necessity. For the reasonable admission
price of between ten cents and a dollar, plus the cost of liquor and food,
guests could dance, drink, flirt, and gamble, while the hosts collected
enough money to pay the landlord for another month.
The house-rent party evolved out of traditions that were several generations
old by the beginning of the Harlem Renaissance. Since the late nineteenth
century, African-American families in the rural south had enjoyed Saturday
night barbecues and fish fries, complete with music and dancing, at events
called "frolics" or "breakdowns." By the turn of the twentieth century,
African-Americans in southern cities were throwing dance parties expressly
to raise money. Dozens of couples would cram into tiny apartments, and the
sometimes painful results of dancing in such confined spaces led to the term
"shin-digs" to describe these events, though they were also referred to as
"stomps," "boogies," "breakdowns," "skiffles," "scuffles," "struggles,"
"shake-me-downs," "chitterling rags," and "struts."
African-Americans who came north during the great migration brought with
them their fondness for a good shin-dig. This social custom served them
well, for instead of finding plentiful and profitable work in northern
cities, many migrants instead found relentless economic exploitation by
employers, landlords, and merchants. Wages for black workers were
disproportionately low in New York, and rents in Harlem were exorbitantly
high. Limited economic options forced residents of Harlem to find creative
ways to supplement their income, and so many families transformed the
southern shin-dig into the modern house-rent party.
To prepare for a rent party, hosts would clear all furniture (except for the
piano) from the front rooms of the apartment, take up the rugs, replace
regular lightbulbs with more sensuous colored ones, and sometimes rent
folding chairs from a local undertaker. Some hosts would even hire "home
defense officers" (HDOs), to bounce unwelcome guests and squelch incipient
brawls. The highlight of any rent party was the music, often provided by a
single piano player, a series of pianists, or even a three-or four-piece
musical ensemble. Well-known pianists such as "Fats" Waller, James P.
Johnson, and Willie "the Lion" Smith regularly made the rounds at rent
parties, where musicians competed in "cutting contests" to determine who was
the most talented. Bootleg liquor, usually homemade corn whiskey (called
"King Kong") or bathtub gin, was sold by the pint or in quarter-pint
portions called "shorties." For an additional price, guests could purchase
southern-style meals that usually included some combination of hoppin' John,
fried chicken, fried fish, chitterlings, mulatto rice (rice and tomatoes),
gumbo, chili, collard greens, potato salad, and sweet potato pone. The party
would often last until dawn, or until someone summoned the Black Maria (the
police patrol wagon) to break it up.
In order to attract a large number of paying guests, hosts advertised their
parties using "rent party tickets." Often, they enlisted the help of the
"Wayside Printer," a middle-aged white man who walked the streets of Harlem
with his portable press. For a modest fee, he stamped the party information
onto tickets about the size of a business card. Interestingly, these tickets
always identified rent parties using such terms as "Social Party," "Social
Whist Party," "Parlor Social," or "Matinee Party." Other, less elevated
terms included "Too Terrible Party," "Boogie," and "Tea Cup Party." Tickets
often incorporated popular slang phrases, lyrics from current songs, or bits
of poetry. One ticket from 1927 implored: "Save your tears for a rainy day,
/ We are giving a party where you can play / With red-hot mammas and too bad
She-bas / Who wear their dresses above their knees / And mess around with
whom they please." Another reasoned: "You Don't Get Nothing for Being an
Angel Child, So You Might As Well Get Real Busy and Real Wild."
Hosts would distribute these tickets to friends, neighbors, and even
strangers on the street corner. Sometimes, hosts targeted a specific
population, such as Pullman porters, interstate truck drivers, or black
tourists. Other hosts simply tucked the tickets into elevator grilles or
apartment windows. Drumming up a good crowd was important, for competition
was fierce; as many as twelve parties in a single block and five in an
apartment building, simultaneously, were not uncommon in Harlem during the
1920s. Although rent parties raged every night of the week, the most popular
evening was Saturday, since most day laborers were paid on Saturday and few
had to work on Sunday. The next favorite party night was Thursday, when most
sleep-in domestic workers were off-duty. The only population generally not
invited to rent parties was white people. During Prohibition (1920-1933),
any white man in Harlem could potentially be a revenuer or a cop who would
certainly appreciate the opportunity to raid a rent party for violating
liquor laws, or to extort money from the hosts in order to keep them out of
jail. But even without that threat, black hosts seldom welcomed the presence
of unfamiliar, inquisitive white people in their homes.
During the Harlem Renaissance, house-rent parties essentially amounted to a
kind of grassroots social welfare. However, their general atmosphere was far
more sordid than the average neighborhood block party. Frequently, back
rooms were reserved for gambling or drug use, and sometimes hosts would
offer the private use of the back bedrooms to couples for a price. Before
long, gangsters and small-time racketeers had also entered the rent-party
business, staging nightly parties that served as a front for their more
illegitimate business ventures. Not surprisingly, a number of Harlem
residents were ashamed of or appalled by rent parties, especially those who
firmly believed in the immorality of jazz, liquor, and gambling. Certain
black intellectuals and writers also scorned these gatherings, believing
that such rowdy displays of passion and intemperance reflected poorly on the
black race. No accounts of rent parties appear in the works of Jessie
Fauset, Nella Larsen, or W. E. B. Du Bois, for instance; and in his
sociological description of Harlem, Black Manhattan (1930), James Weldon
Johnson simply ignores them. We do, however, get enthusiastic depictions of
rent parties in the works of Langston Hughes, Wallace Thurman, and Claude
McKay..."
</>
Kathleen Drowne
Ophelia
Wonderful!!! What fascinating piece of history:) Heh, even I have heard of
Fats Waller:))
Thanks, Greg!
Goomba
> blake murphy wrote:
>> maybe granny would be considered the owner of the 'restaurant,' and
>> thus somehow gauche to tip.
>
>
> Yeah, and don't hesitate to report gauche granny to the IRS about that
> "income"...
>
Oh have some fun with it.. call the health department too! LOL
blake murphy
<snip>
> The problem was compounded when a niece decided to do the same thing.
> That would have meant two weekends in a row travelling back and forth,
> and double the added expense. We could not use our excuse to back out
> of one and then to the other. We went to neither. (ex) SIL was
> understanding when we explained about the cost and the conflict with our
> usual weekend activities. The niece was apparently quite hurt. Her
> mother called to plead with us.
>
this isn't meant to rag on you, dave (especially since you seem to have
handled it well), but i must confess that the whole thing kinda puzzles me.
an invitation to a social event is just that, an invitation, not a subpoena
or a bench warrant. 'sorry, can't make it' should be enough, and if the
host persists, it can just be repeated.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
> blake murphy wrote:
>
>> it's just weird. it's like inviting people to your wedding in hawaii and
>> becoming incensed if they don't want to spend their vacation watching you
>> get married. unless you're gonna pay the freight, um, no.
>
> Destination weddings seem to be gaining in popularity. People go away to
> Caribbean islands or cruises to get married and expect friends and
> relatives to spend a week of their vacation time and a lot of money on
> their special day. FWIW, we were invited to a wedding in Colorado for my
> wife's cousin's son. We were not going to go. My wife was retired but I
> was still working. However.... I started thinking about it and
> considered that it might make vacation of it. The cousin was thrilled to
> get our acceptance and insisted on putting us up in a hotel, and we were
> invited to the rehearsal party. We had a great time, but we had a car
> rental and were on our own, went up to Estes park for a few nights.
offering to spring for the hotel is the classy thing to do. glad you went
and had a good time.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
> On Thu 26 Nov 2009 11:13:39a, sf told us...
>
>> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009 10:45:13 -0700, "gloria.p" <gpue...@comcast.net>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>sf wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> Have you considered the thought that being 4 hours away is an easy way
>>>> to pare down the guest list and not look like she's leaving anyone
>>>> out? Not putting you up and BYOB is just the icing on the cake.
>>>> Unfortunately, sometimes plans like that can come back to bite people
>>>> on the butt when guests they want to attend don't and people who are
>>>> invited just because they're family show up.
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>My thought exactly. If people really wanted the entire guest
>>>list to show up, they'd make it very convenient for all. An
>>>eight hour round trip drive, even once a year, is asking a lot
>>>just for a stinkin' party. IMO occasions like weddings and
>>>special birthdays are different and worth more effort.
>>>
>>>We've flown to Europe and halfway across the country in both
>>>directions to attend weddings of people who are special to us.
>>>I wouldn't make that kind of effort for a party.
>>>
>>>Additionally, these people might be all self-important over
>>>having a cottage and wanting to wave it under everyone's nose.
>>>It's not your duty to feed their collective egos.
>>>
>>>"So sorry, we can't make it up there. Give us a call when you
>>>come to town."
>>>
>> I'd be the family that shows up anyway (if I liked the area, I'd make
>> a long weekend out of it too). LOL! Hey, I was invited.
>>
>
> What if it was in Beirut?
i have an online pal whose sister's family had a bat mitzvah in israel for
their daughter, and expected everyone to saddle up and go there for it.
the girl's family had lots of dough, but my friend is a public
schoolteacher. the girl's mother (pal's sister) couldn't understand why
she thought it a little much to ask.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
good song. louis jordan is the balls.
nine bucks. do yourself a favor. 'ain't nobody here but us chickens' is
one of the greatest songs of all time.
blake
blake murphy
>
> Doesn't change the fact that I still think it is a troll article.
> Either sensationalism derived from the columnist to stir up shit, or
> yet another angry feminist yarn. The fact that we're all discussing
> it is proof that it is effective, though.
>
if you find it inconceivable that someone would do this and that a
'customer' would write an advice columnist about it, then you lack
observational skills.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
compared to some thanksgiving tales this is a mere bag of shells.
your pal,
ralph
blake murphy
even the most cursory examination of current events reveals that this is
far from unlikely. people are nutz, god love 'em.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
and if you call before midnight, we'll add this multi-chopper for just
shipping and handling!
your pal,
ron
Lou Decruss
The tales aren't just at Thanksgiving. 30 some years ago I had a
Saturday night get-together. Being one of the few who had their own
place <no parents involved> there was lots of people there. One goofy
chick had just finished beauty school and after lots of mind altering
substances were consumed she decided she wanted to cut every ones
hair. To a bunch of drunk-stoned kids in their late teens-early 20's
this was all fun stuff. I manned the vacuum cleaner and she played
edward scissor-hands. The haircuts all sucked but we were having fun.
So about the time we were ready to move on to the next event she
announced everyone owed her ($?) for their cuts. We were all doing
coke so we were in for long night and she'd cut about 15 heads. A
small riot too place and she was tossed out never to return.
Lou
Dave Smith
>
> i have an online pal whose sister's family had a bat mitzvah in israel for
> their daughter, and expected everyone to saddle up and go there for it.
> the girl's family had lots of dough, but my friend is a public
> schoolteacher. the girl's mother (pal's sister) couldn't understand why
> she thought it a little much to ask.
My wife has an old boarding school friend who now lives in New York/.
Her husband threw a big 50th birthday party for her in Toronto and
invited all the old school friends and old friends and relatives in the
area. It was a very lavish party in a nice downtown hotel with a band
before dinner, a pianist during dinner and another band for dancing
after dinner. They were having a bar mitzzvah for their son a few
months later and offered to fly people to New York for it. I assume that
we would have had to pay for the hotel, but it was nice of them to offer
to fly us down.
Dave Smith
>
> this isn't meant to rag on you, dave (especially since you seem to have
> handled it well), but i must confess that the whole thing kinda puzzles me.
> an invitation to a social event is just that, an invitation, not a subpoena
> or a bench warrant. 'sorry, can't make it' should be enough, and if the
> host persists, it can just be repeated.
>
I would have liked to have gone. While I am not crazy about the whacko
ex-Sil I do like her kids. They are my favourite niece and nephews, all
grown now, with nice wives and kids. I would gladly have attended if she
had held it at her residence. My son would have liked to attend to. He
is now living in the city. He could have gone into work early and then
go to the party, or go to the party then head back to his bar. There was
no way he could have made it up to the chalet. I didn't want to make
it look like I didn't want to go. It just seems weird to me to invite
20-30 who all live in or near your city to a party that is so far away.
You would have to know this woman to understand why it is so hard for
her to understand.
As for the niece's party... I would have preferred not to go anyway.
Having it way up there and having the two expensive treks two weeks in a
row ...... perfect excuse. Fifty years old and she whined to her mother
that we would not be attending.... gives you an idea, eh. :-)Besides, my
wife and I are busy Sunday mornings. She is in the choir at her church
and I had Sunday morning riding lessons. Two distant parties two weeks
in a row? Nope.
Bob Muncie
Thanks for sharing Dave. Your story made me smile. Most of us have
relatives, and can commiserate.
Gregory Morrow
I think it's just that Dave is pussy - whipped...I for *one* second wouldn't
put up with all that immature family drama that he is constantly going on
about.
--
Best
Greg
Gregory Morrow
Yup, it is. Whenever I hear a Jordan song it really lifts my spirits *and*
you know it's also going to be great because he was a fine musician, he
*really* knew his craft.
[And if you check his output, he did *lot* of "food" songs...]
Another one who I put in that genre is Ella Mae Morse, her first big hits in
the early 40's were _Cow Cow Boogie_ and _Mr. Five By Five_. She recorded
on Capitol, was a protege of Johnny Mercer. She was white, but she has a
blue - sy "black" sound. Sammy Davis was a big fan of hers and when they met
he said, "Ella, I thought you were *black*!", to which she replied, "I am,
baby...!!!". She also recorded one of the first nascent "rock" sings in the
late 40's, IIRC the title is _House Of Blue Leaves_ mayber...anyways when
you hear her you are just in a good mood, like with Louis Jordan. Her
entire Capitol output is on an expensive ($100.00) box set on the German
Bear Family label...I'm sure you can download her stuff and get other CD's.
I know you'd really dig her...
Very rarely do you hear an artist where *every* song they did was really
good, Jordan and Morse are two in that rarified category...
--
Best
Greg
Gregory Morrow
What is an "angry feminist yarn"...???
--
Best
Greg
Nancy Young
> The tales aren't just at Thanksgiving. 30 some years ago I had a
> Saturday night get-together. Being one of the few who had their own
> place <no parents involved> there was lots of people there. One goofy
> chick had just finished beauty school and after lots of mind altering
> substances were consumed she decided she wanted to cut every ones
> hair. To a bunch of drunk-stoned kids in their late teens-early 20's
> this was all fun stuff. I manned the vacuum cleaner and she played
> edward scissor-hands. The haircuts all sucked but we were having fun.
> So about the time we were ready to move on to the next event she
> announced everyone owed her ($?) for their cuts. We were all doing
> coke so we were in for long night and she'd cut about 15 heads. A
> small riot too place and she was tossed out never to return.
You have the funniest stories, Lou.
nancy
blake murphy
very nice indeed.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
i'll check her out. <goes to amazon> hmm, looks like 'house of blue
lights.' a band i see a couple times a month does that number.
thanks.
blake
Gregory Morrow
Yep, it's _House of Blue Light_...
And last night I discovered that my gin mill jukebox (one of those satellite
things) has a good dozen Louis Jordan tunes...several peeps said, "Wow! Is
that good music...!!!".
--
Best
Greg
Gregory Morrow
> Gregory Morrow wrote:
>> http://www.routledge-ny.com/ref/harlem/parties.html
>>
>> "House-Rent Parties
>>
> Wonderful!!! What fascinating piece of history:) Heh, even I have
> heard of Fats Waller:))
>
> Thanks, Greg!
You are welcome, Ms. O...
:-)
--
Best
Greg
Giusi
"sf" ha scritto nel messaggio
blake murphy> wrote:
>>>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>>>
>>>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated Thanksgiving
>>>> with my boyfriend's family, which includes his ailing, elderly
>>>> grandmother. But this year, his family is demanding that we pay a
>>>> cover�Xwe're each being charged $40 per person for a standard
>>>> Thanksgiving dinner (not catered). Both my boyfriend and I are
>>>> outraged. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a freeloader. I'd be happy to
>>>> cook a dish (or eight dishes!) and bring those to dinner. But paying
>>>> $40 for a Turkey dinner with family? That's ridiculous, especially
>>>> since I'm a graduate student, and money is always tight.
> I'm thinking that the OP's BF must not have been in on the time when> his
> family got together and told Aunt so and so how much they> appreciate that
> she hosts Thanksgiving every year, but times are tough
> now and they wanted to pitch in some money to help with expenses. If> the
> OP has a hard time with the concept of just showing up empty
> handed (which they probably do every year anyway) and contributing $> to
> the pot, then they shouldn't go. It's a simple choice.
It doesn't look that simple to me. I've eaten Thanksgiving dinner out many
times over the years and only top restaurants charged 40 bucks pp. It's a
cheapish meal!
People mostly complain that their kids don't want to come home for holidays
anymore. This family won't have to ask why. There should have been at
least a call to see if the kids had ideas about how to swing it. We are a
bunch of unrelated expats here and we all pitch in dishes... works fine. Or
you could split the groceries and also the work. Just charging 40 bucks pp
looks to me like someone wamnted to be paid for their time as well.
Dora
> "sf" ha scritto nel messaggio
> blake murphy> wrote:
>
>>>>> from *slate*'s 'dear prudence':
>>>>>
>>>>> Washington, DC: For the past few years, I've celebrated
>>>>> Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family, which includes his
>>>>> ailing, elderly grandmother. But this year, his family is
I have a reverse story. This year, my children announced I was to
enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and they would take care of it. In they all
came, bearing the turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, pumpkin bread and
cookies from my daughter. Peas, green beans, asparagus, sauerkraut
(a local tradition), sweet potatoes, a gorgeous fresh fruit tart plus
bottles of wine from my son. I wasn't allowed to lift a dish. Son
and son-in-law completely cleaned up. Nine of us together in my
small retirement community apartment - and we had a blast. It was a
wonderful day.
sf
wrote:
>People mostly complain that their kids don't want to come home for holidays
>anymore. This family won't have to ask why. There should have been at
>least a call to see if the kids had ideas about how to swing it. We are a
>bunch of unrelated expats here and we all pitch in dishes... works fine. Or
>you could split the groceries and also the work.
All true, and a logical thing to do.
>Just charging 40 bucks pp
>looks to me like someone wamnted to be paid for their time as well.
Or maybe they had some fine wine with dinner. In any case, I can't
take this thread seriously enough to care one way or the other. Go or
don't go, that's what it all boils down to. Thanksgiving is over now.
It's time for xmas trolls.
--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
sf
>I have a reverse story. This year, my children announced I was to
>enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and they would take care of it. In they all
>came, bearing the turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, pumpkin bread and
>cookies from my daughter. Peas, green beans, asparagus, sauerkraut
>(a local tradition), sweet potatoes, a gorgeous fresh fruit tart plus
>bottles of wine from my son. I wasn't allowed to lift a dish. Son
>and son-in-law completely cleaned up. Nine of us together in my
>small retirement community apartment
That is sooo sweet. Glad you had a happy day, Dora!
Omelet
"Dora" <lime...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Just charging 40 bucks pp looks to me like someone
> > wamnted
> > to be paid for their time as well.
>
> I have a reverse story. This year, my children announced I was to
> enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and they would take care of it. In they all
> came, bearing the turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, pumpkin bread and
> cookies from my daughter. Peas, green beans, asparagus, sauerkraut
> (a local tradition), sweet potatoes, a gorgeous fresh fruit tart plus
> bottles of wine from my son. I wasn't allowed to lift a dish. Son
> and son-in-law completely cleaned up. Nine of us together in my
> small retirement community apartment - and we had a blast. It was a
> wonderful day.
How marvelous Dora! :-)
--
Peace! Om
"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein
Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>
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Wayne Boatwright
> I have a reverse story. This year, my children announced I was to
> enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and they would take care of it. In they all
> came, bearing the turkey, dressing, gravy, rolls, pumpkin bread and
> cookies from my daughter. Peas, green beans, asparagus, sauerkraut
> (a local tradition), sweet potatoes, a gorgeous fresh fruit tart plus
> bottles of wine from my son. I wasn't allowed to lift a dish. Son
> and son-in-law completely cleaned up. Nine of us together in my
> small retirement community apartment - and we had a blast. It was a
> wonderful day.
>
That does sound wonderful, Dora! i bet you couldn't have been happier, and
I'm sure all of you had a great day.
--
~~ If there's a nit to pick, some nitwit will pick it. ~~
~~ A mind is a terrible thing to lose. ~~
**********************************************************
Wayne Boatwright
Dave Smith
>> Just charging 40 bucks pp
>> looks to me like someone wamnted to be paid for their time as well.
>
> Or maybe they had some fine wine with dinner.
I suppose that it a remote possibility. If there is any truth to the
letter, I doubt it.
> In any case, I can't
> take this thread seriously enough to care one way or the other. Go or
> don't go, that's what it all boils down to. Thanksgiving is over now.
> It's time for xmas trolls.
I am not convinced it was a troll. I have heard of too many incidents.
I posted here last year about a friend who lives in a very nice
neighbourhood and had an invitation from a neigbhour to a birthday
party for her husband, who was a chef. She was asked to bring a dish
that they neighbour had had at a party at our friend's place. It was a
roast beef tenderloin. She was to bring enough for 20 people. In
addition, she was asked to bring two bottles of wine, one red and one
white. She was given the names of the two wines she was supposed to
bring, each over $20 per bottle.
It sounds too bizarre to be true, but I knew the person it happened too
and I have no problem believing her. However, she is capable of lying,
like when she called the neighbour back to check on the date and
realized they couldn't make it because her husband had made other plans.
Then she heard from another neighbour who later got an invitation to
the same party and had been asked to bring that two roasted beef
tenderloins and the two bottles of wine.
sf
<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> I am not convinced it was a troll. I have heard of too many incidents.
>I posted here last year about a friend who lives in a very nice
>neighbourhood and had an invitation from a neigbhour to a birthday
>party for her husband, who was a chef. She was asked to bring a dish
>that they neighbour had had at a party at our friend's place. It was a
>roast beef tenderloin. She was to bring enough for 20 people. In
>addition, she was asked to bring two bottles of wine, one red and one
>white. She was given the names of the two wines she was supposed to
>bring, each over $20 per bottle.
>
>It sounds too bizarre to be true, but I knew the person it happened too
>and I have no problem believing her. However, she is capable of lying,
>like when she called the neighbour back to check on the date and
>realized they couldn't make it because her husband had made other plans.
> Then she heard from another neighbour who later got an invitation to
>the same party and had been asked to bring that two roasted beef
>tenderloins and the two bottles of wine.
>
>
I remember that story, Dave. You have the most bazaar relatives and
neighbors in the world! If I had just one of your stories happen to
me, it would be enough for life. Have you ever thought about selling
your stories as plot lines or funny scenes for tv sit coms? You have
a vast resource to mine. ;)
blake murphy
i remember that. too funny.
your pal,
blake