My next two tomatoes: 7 and 9 pounders

[Sqwertz]

A 7-pound 5-ounce Mortgage Lifter:

https://i.postimg.cc/CMWRzdpv/7-Pound-Mortgage-Lifetr-Tomato.jpg

And 9-pound 4-ounce Mykonos tomato:

https://i.postimg.cc/kXKB89n7/9-Pound-Mykonos-Tomato.jpg

I'm having BLT's for breakfast. The center slices will be almost
twice as big as the bread!

-sw

[Sheldon Martin]

On Tue, 24 May 2022 10:38:03 -0500, Sqwertz <sqwe...@gmail.invalid>
wrote:

That puny scale says 9 ounces.

[itsjoan...@webtv.net]

Are you sure that scale is not reading ounces or grams??

[GM]

Steve is growing PAUL BUNYAN tomaters...

;-)

--
GM

[Sheldon Martin]

I've been growing tomatoes most of my life, a two pound tomato is a
rarity.

[Sqwertz]

Notice the colon, and then the "4.5". What does the 4.5 stand for,
Grams and milligrams?

Brilliant deduction, Tinkerbell.

-sw

[Sqwertz]

On Tue, 24 May 2022 11:33:53 -0700 (PDT), itsjoan...@webtv.net

wrote:

I'm quite sure I know how to use a scale. Before the colon is the
pounds after that is the whole ounces, and then down to the tenths
of ounces.

Sheesh.

-sw

[Ed Pawlowski]

Even a 9.45 oz. tomato is good size. The ones grown around here are not
very good.

[Sqwertz]

Yeah, so are your 15 pound cabbages. But you never put THOSE on a
scape for us to see year after year. Now you bitch when somebody
else does?

Sheesh again.

-sw

[Sqwertz]

On Tue, 24 May 2022 14:11:28 -0400, Sheldon Martin wrote:

Here's the same smaller tomato on the scale (already cut into the
big one) and a close-up of the readout. See how it says "LB" on the
left and "OZ" on the right?

https://i.postimg.cc/PxmhFfN4/Scale-readout.jpg

It looks like it lost ~1.8 grams overnight due to shrinkage and
rounding of numbers. I better hurry up and eat that tomato! ;-)

Bite Me Sheldon!

-sw

[Ed Pawlowski]

On 5/24/2022 4:23 PM, Sqwertz wrote:
> On Tue, 24 May 2022 14:11:28 -0400, Sheldon Martin wrote:
>
>> On Tue, 24 May 2022 10:38:03 -0500, Sqwertz <sqwe...@gmail.invalid>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> A 7-pound 5-ounce Mortgage Lifter:
>>>
>>> https://i.postimg.cc/CMWRzdpv/7-Pound-Mortgage-Lifetr-Tomato.jpg

Pays to piss in the garden. I saw an article the other day that
confirmed it works for bigger tomatoes.

Maybe we can start selling Magic Tomato Elixer to the non believers.

[André Malraux]

On Tue, 24 May 2022 16:46:26 -0400, Ed Pawlowski <e...@snet.xxx> wrote:

>On 5/24/2022 4:23 PM, Sqwertz wrote:
>> On Tue, 24 May 2022 14:11:28 -0400, Sheldon Martin wrote:
>>
>>> On Tue, 24 May 2022 10:38:03 -0500, Sqwertz <sqwe...@gmail.invalid>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> A 7-pound 5-ounce Mortgage Lifter:
>>>>
>>>> https://i.postimg.cc/CMWRzdpv/7-Pound-Mortgage-Lifetr-Tomato.jpg
>
>Pays to piss in the garden. I saw an article the other day that
>confirmed it works for bigger tomatoes.

But will the tomato juice have a yellow tinge?

--
André Malraux
<https://cdn.britannica.com/20/109120-050-C8214147/Andre-Malraux.jpg>

[Dave Smith]

People used to comment on how nice our holly bush was and how there
were so many lovely read berries there were on it. It is about 15 feet
from the front door and we had two male dogs who found it the closest
and most convenient thing to pee on when we let them out to do their
business.

Thank goodness we live in the country and have a yard big enough to pee
in I have tried all sorts of treatments for moss. Lime didn't work.
Chemical fertilizers didn't work. Peeing on the moss seems to provide
the best nutrients to allow the grass to thrive and displace the moss.

[Mike Duffy]

On 2022-05-24, Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:

> Thank goodness we live in the country and have a yard big enough to pee
> in I have tried all sorts of treatments for moss. Lime didn't work.
> Chemical fertilizers didn't work. Peeing on the moss seems to provide
> the best nutrients to allow the grass to thrive and displace the moss.

I wish I could replace my whole lawn with moss that never needed mowing.

[Hank Rogers]

Popeye himself must have pissed on those tomatoes ... after eating
a can of spinach.

[Alex]

Nice, but you have a way to go for the record.

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/heaviest-tomato

[Sqwertz]

On Tue, 24 May 2022 19:14:37 -0400, Alex wrote:

> Sqwertz wrote:
>> A 7-pound 5-ounce Mortgage Lifter:
>>
>> https://i.postimg.cc/CMWRzdpv/7-Pound-Mortgage-Lifetr-Tomato.jpg
>>
>> And 9-pound 4-ounce Mykonos tomato:
>>
>> https://i.postimg.cc/kXKB89n7/9-Pound-Mykonos-Tomato.jpg
>>
>> I'm having BLT's for breakfast. The center slices will be almost
>> twice as big as the bread!
>

> Nice, but you have a way to go for the record.
>
> https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/heaviest-tomato

I need to get my hands on some of that dingleberry juice he uses and
I'll be there!

-sw

[Sqwertz]

I'm only pissing in the peppers for now. But I piss around the
outside of the cage to deter foxes and raccoons every chance I get.

I was sitting on the porch a few nights ago and a grey fox came
across the yard and immediately, without pause, started to tug and
dig under the metal mesh fence to the tomatoes and peppers.

I'm like, WTF!!!! He didn't see me until I got up and started
chasing after him - roaring like a... Oh, I don't know what I
sounded like. But I was roaring! Loud enough for the neighbors dog
to bark fiercely and her to come out.

So I've been pissing extra special around the tomato lately. I've
also interlaced the wire mesh cage with a bunch of barbed branches
tho thwart invaders. Two of my neighbors tomato gardens have been
totally ransacked for EVERY tomato (all green) in the last week and
they have fully enclosed/fenced back yards.

While I just have a cage in the front yard with one of only two
open gateways to the 350+ acres of greenbelt behind us and I'm doing
fine (with my 12 pound tomatoes) by just pissing on or around them.

Speaking of which, I gotta take a mean piss right about now...

-sw

[Cindy Hamilton]

I'd have to settle for moss in the shade and ground ivy in the sun. But
in practical terms, I'd end up with so many thistles, glossy buckthorn
bushes, and black walnut trees that it wouldn't really work.

--
Cindy Hamilton

[Gary]

You had to ask? Lol
You'll *never* see a 7 or a 9 pound tomato.

[Gary]

On 5/24/2022 2:54 PM, GM wrote:

More like the movie, "Honey, I Shrunk The Stevers"

[Bryan Simmons]

On Wednesday, May 25, 2022 at 1:07:46 AM UTC-5, Sqwertz wrote:
>
>
> So I've been pissing extra special around the tomato lately. I've
> also interlaced the wire mesh cage with a bunch of barbed branches
> tho thwart invaders. Two of my neighbors tomato gardens have been
> totally ransacked for EVERY tomato (all green) in the last week and
> they have fully enclosed/fenced back yards.
>

https://www.alekoproducts.com/home-products/steel-cables/heavy-duty-razor-barbed-wire-33-loops-50-foot-silver
>
Squirrel blood would look pretty on the little blades.
>
> -sw

--Bryan

[Michael Trew]

I call BS. I'll believe Sheldon's cabbage story first. No such thing
as a tomato that large. Those look like normal size tomatoes, unless
that scale happens to be much larger than it looks. Also, the pictures
are too blurry to really read the screen on the scale.

[Ophelia]

lol

[Dave Smith]

Here is a link to a site with some huge tomatoes.
They're talking tomatoes in the range of 4 lb.


https://www.heirloomtomatoplants.com/biggest_tomatoes_the_biggest.htm

[Sheldon Martin]

2-3 pound home growns are common but in all my years of home growns
I've never seen 7-9 pounders.

[Sqwertz]

If you can't the screens in those pictures them there's something
wrong with your eyes or your monitor. You need to upgrade to a VGA
monitor.

-sw

[Gary]

I was wrong. Try this link:
https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/heaviest-tomato

[Gary]

I looked it up after I wrote that. I've been educated.

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/heaviest-tomato

Also do a google image search for world's largest tomato

[Dave Smith]

My sister in law has a chalet and replaced the grass with thyme. It
looks grass like though not quite the same green. It does not need to be
mowed. It smells nice too.

[Dave Smith]

The record holders don't weigh much more than Steve's, but they dwarf them.

[jmcquown]

Sqwertz wrote:
> On Tue, 24 May 2022 11:33:53 -0700 (PDT), itsjoan...@webtv.net
> wrote:
>
>> On Tuesday, May 24, 2022 at 10:38:08 AM UTC-5, Sqwertz wrote:
>>>
>>> A 7-pound 5-ounce Mortgage Lifter:
>>>
>>> https://i.postimg.cc/CMWRzdpv/7-Pound-Mortgage-Lifetr-Tomato.jpg
>>>
>>> And 9-pound 4-ounce Mykonos tomato:
>>>
>>> https://i.postimg.cc/kXKB89n7/9-Pound-Mykonos-Tomato.jpg
>>>
>>> I'm having BLT's for breakfast. The center slices will be almost
>>> twice as big as the bread!
>>>
>>> -sw
>>>
>> Are you sure that scale is not reading ounces or grams??
>
> I'm quite sure I know how to use a scale.

> Sheesh.
>
> -sw
>
Tomatoe size isn't the only thing you exaggerate
about, little dwarf asshat.

Jill

[André Malraux]

On Wed, 25 May 2022 11:23:38 -0500, Sqwertz <sqwe...@gmail.invalid>
wrote:

Monitors from the 50s, you know...

[Hank Rogers]

Is dat yoose Popeye?

[Michael Trew]

I certainly have a VGA monitor. I'd like to see the
diameter/circumference of said near world record-breaking tomato that
you grew, please.

[Sheldon Martin]

On Thu, 26 May 2022 09:16:24 -0400, Michael Trew
<michae...@att.net> wrote:

>On 5/25/2022 12:23, Sqwertz wrote:
>> On Wed, 25 May 2022 09:51:14 -0400, Michael Trew wrote:
>>>
>>> I call BS. I'll believe Sheldon's cabbage story first.

The cabbage I grow are large because the climate here is perfect for
growing cabbage... cabbage likes cool and moist.
I've grown some large tomatoes but no ten pounders. I don't like
large tomatoes (beef steaks), they are too watery, seedy, and have
little flavor.

[Bryan Simmons]

It's obviously not true.

--Bryan

[Dave Smith]

On 2022-05-26 9:40 a.m., Sheldon Martin wrote:
> On Thu, 26 May 2022 09:16:24 -0400, Michael Trew
> <michae...@att.net> wrote:
>
>> On 5/25/2022 12:23, Sqwertz wrote:
>>> On Wed, 25 May 2022 09:51:14 -0400, Michael Trew wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I call BS. I'll believe Sheldon's cabbage story first.
>
> The cabbage I grow are large because the climate here is perfect for
> growing cabbage... cabbage likes cool and moist.
> I've grown some large tomatoes but no ten pounders. I don't like
> large tomatoes (beef steaks), they are too watery, seedy, and have
> little flavor.
>

Sure you can grow a ten pound tomato. Just go out, pick a tomato, put it
on the scale and then slap a C clamp on it and crank it down to whatever
weight you want.

[Michael Trew]

LOL, I was wondering what that bolt was on Steve's scale. Good catch.

[dsi1]

It's ain't that big unless it's bigger than your head.

https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article2361635.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200d/CS49409362aberglasney-garde.j