100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do...
Gregory Morrow
October 29, 2009, 12:39 pm
One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
By Bruce Buschel
"Herewith is a modest list of dos and don'ts for servers at the seafood
restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses,
libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what
follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature.
And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks,
reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that
role?
1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for
someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the
bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free
drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty,
and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are
seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?" Both are fine.
Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite
specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is
not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, "We only have two
lobsters left." Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen to the
answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with, "I'll
find out."
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of
same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating
the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, "Who's
having the shrimp?"
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean
sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to
the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the
table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the
waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing
the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less
noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No
one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong.
Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them,
move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot
of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and
beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. "Not
when I'm on duty" will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a "dude."
39. Do not call a woman "lady."
40. Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, "No problem" is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or
sarcasm. "My pleasure" or "You're welcome" will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest's attire or hairdo or makeup. You are
insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It's irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose
intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are
equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more;
remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it's tip time. Be consistent throughout.
Next week: 51-100..."
</>
poop on toast
> http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restauran...
#51 Great list.
#52 No one in their right mind should take on this shit job for three
(or whatever the fuck it is nowadays it's peanuts and plus tips it's
still peanuts considering all the shit you have to do) bucks an hour
plus tips.
djs...@aol.com
> http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restauran...
>
As someone who works in the food industry I have to say I agree with
all of those. The only exception would be on #10. If someone asked
for my opinion between two choices I would be truthful but also
tactful. I would start off by saying both are good but if they insist
on me choosing one over the other I would tell them what I personally
would choose. Of course I would also say the other choice is just as
good. If someone was trying to decide between ordering lobster or
chicken I would have to say I would order the chicken (I don't like
seafood). If they asked why I would simply say it's because I like
chicken but the lobster is just as good.
Omelet
"Gregory Morrow" <bbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
> 15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with, "I'll
> find out."
This exact same rule applies to phone calls to the lab...
With all the differences in various fields, some things remain the same
and common courtesy is one of them.
Unfortunately, "common courtesy" seems to be an oxymoron nowadays. :-(
--
Peace! Om
"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein
Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>
recfood...@yahoogroups.com
Subscribe: recfoodrecip...@yahoogroups.com
Nancy Young
This was pretty amusing, and most of it is common sense.
> 3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet
> arrived.
That's usually restaurant policy, can't blame the staff.
> 8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to
> recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
Better yet, don't recite the specials, would it kill you to write them
down? Some of those specials recitals go on a lot longer than
I have the will to look interested. (laugh) I know some people
like it. Too long is too long.
> 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
I met a couple of friends at an Italian restaurant the other night.
I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the food and really
surprised they offered olive oil *and* butter. I never see that.
> 20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
I don't know if it's their choice.
> 21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
That reminds me of the waitress who dithered about putting
my salad down ... that red lettuce just looked WRONG. (laugh)
Thanks for the thought, it's good.
> 23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give
> it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the
> importer, etc.
I really think that's asking a lot. And if I'm waiting for my meal,
I don't think I'd appreciate an invisible server who's back there
steaming off someone's label.
> 24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
Hey, do I get a discount on the second glass? No? Then I want
a fresh glass. Don't always get one.
> 25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them
> on the table.
And the forks, too? Please. Blech!
> 31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong.
> Obviously, something went wrong.
I had that happen once. The food was inedible. The waitress
took it away without saying a word, I assume it happens a lot
there. Heh. Yeah, I know, I didn't complain, I didn't want to.
Just was funny to me that it didn't faze her at all.
> 33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
I find that very jarring. I'm easily startled. In diners sometimes the
busboy will really make a racket clearing off the table.
> 34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within
> earshot of customers.
Unless you're the bartender. You hear more good stories from them.
> 40. Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad.
I always think I just avoided choosing something really bad.
Once I had a new waiter-in-training. I started referring to him as
Good Choice, because every little thing I ordered got that
response. It was cute, I'm sure he's outgrown that.
> 50. Do not turn on the charm when it's tip time. Be consistent
> throughout.
Don't you love that? This one taciturn waitress does it every time.
She's not rude, just kind of gruff. That's okay, I don't mind, but
it's so obvious when she brings the check and she's all sunshine
all of a sudden.
nancy
sf
About half of those are company policy issues that a server can't do
anything about. What server wants to announce "I'm Bruce and I'll be
your server tonight" and who wants to recite specials? Some are
personal preference, like #17. I DO NOT want to sit at the table with
a dirty plate in front of me. I don't care if someone else is still
eating or not, take it away. The rest are just plain manners and
should be on the list.
--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
sf
<rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote:
>This one taciturn waitress does it every time.
>She's not rude, just kind of gruff. That's okay, I don't mind, but
>it's so obvious when she brings the check and she's all sunshine
>all of a sudden.
Maybe she glad to see you leave. Ever thought of that, huh?
;)
<ducking>
Nancy Young
> On Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:22:12 -0400, "Nancy Young"
> <rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote:
>
>> This one taciturn waitress does it every time.
>> She's not rude, just kind of gruff. That's okay, I don't mind, but
>> it's so obvious when she brings the check and she's all sunshine
>> all of a sudden.
>
> Maybe she glad to see you leave. Ever thought of that, huh?
>
> ;)
> <ducking>
(laugh) That could be!
nancy
Nathalie Chiva
<bbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
>17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating
>the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
Bit of trivia: This is very true in the US, in France and in
Switzerland, but in Italy, it's considered impolite to leave an empty,
"dirty" plate in front of a guest, so waiters do take empty plates
from guests ASAP and it's considered "the thing to do".
Nathalie in Switzerland
Kris
> http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restauran...
>
>
> One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
>
> By Bruce Buschel
Fun read, thank you for posting it.
I do have to differ though on the person giving their name. I like
that bit of courtesy and it doesn't take too much time.
Kris
Nancy Young
I gather the idea is not to make the other person feel rushed,
but I don't care to sit in front of an empty plate, either. The
best thing, maybe, is to try to finish your food at the same time,
more or less. Try to mirror your companions eating speed.
nancy
Goomba
> Fun read, thank you for posting it.
>
> I do have to differ though on the person giving their name. I like
> that bit of courtesy and it doesn't take too much time.
>
> Kris
>
Do you give them yours in return?
I don't give a fig what the waitdroids name is. Just be good at what you
do and don't presume we're "friends" and we'll do just fine.
Dora
I admit I have a "thing" about dirty plates left on the table. I want
mine gone, even if it seems rude to the person(s) eating slowly.
Also, as far as "specials" - please don't recite them and omit the
prices. Just leave a "specials" insert in the menu, so I can study
them.
Dora
Dora
But why do you need to know their name? A good waiter will be aware
and sense that he's needed.
James Silverton
You have a point! Even if the waiter gives the prices (and it's not just
"market price"), I will forget them almost immediately unless one of the
"specials" really stands out and I make a decision to have it then and
there.
--
James Silverton
Potomac, Maryland
Email, with obvious alterations: not.jim.silverton.at.verizon.not
Andy
It should always be 101 things!
My only three things:
If you're a crepe chef, don't eat double stuffed spinach and Monterey Jack
cheese crepes every lunch break of every day!
If you serve espresso coffee drinks, don't drink more than five espresso
coffees while on the job!
When the restaurant owner asks you, the dishwasher, to take the labels off
three bottles of fine wine, he DOESN'T want the bottles back!
Andy
sf
I agree completely with that line of thought. Also, in Italy it's
also considered rude to hurry the customer by presenting a bill so we
literally had to flag them down to pay and be on our way. Not that
I'm complaining, it was just a bit of a culture shock. At first I
thought they were ignoring us.
sf
>Also, as far as "specials" - please don't recite them and omit the
>prices. Just leave a "specials" insert in the menu, so I can study
>them.
But that's not the server's choice or responsibility, it's a
management decision.
--Bryan
Also, it really irritates me when they try to remove a plate that
still has food on it w/o asking.
Violating #36 is the surest way to get a shitty tip from me.
--Bryan
sf
wrote:
>I do have to differ though on the person giving their name. I like
>that bit of courtesy and it doesn't take too much time.
Ask, if you want to know. I usually don't. They are not my friend,
they are there to serve me a meal. If I'm a repeat customer and like
that particular server, I'll inquire - but I don't need to know
immediately.
sf
>Kris wrote:
>>
>> I do have to differ though on the person giving their name. I like
>> that bit of courtesy and it doesn't take too much time.
>>
>> Kris
>
>But why do you need to know their name?
Believe it or not, that practice has been around so long now there are
some people who were raised with it and think it's normal.
sf
wrote:
>I feel the opposite. I don't consider an empty plate to be "dirty."
>Also, it really irritates me when they try to remove a plate that
>still has food on it w/o asking.
I agree with the asking/not asking part, but I want my plate gone and
I don't want to flag someone down to have it done. So maybe it should
read "Ask the customer if they are finished and would like their place
cleared before removing a plate". It's not that hard to do. I also
wish that every server carried one of those little butler's scraper
thingies (they look like a tiny windshield wiper) so they can remove
crumbs from the tablecloth. Something so small really enhances a
dining experience.
brooklyn1
>
> 24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
>
That needs clarifying...
I've never received a mixed bar drink in a refilled glass.
Tap beer gets a fresh glass, bottled beer gets a fresh glass, but
pitcher beer doesn't get a fresh glass unless requested... many ask
for a fresh frosted mug but that service begs a larger than usual tip.
Shot glasses at the bar typically get refilled... not many order shots
at table.
But I see nothing wrong with refilling the water glass from a pitcher,
the coffee cup from the caraffe, or the wine glass from the same
bottle. Pitchers of alcoholic drinks don't get a fresh glass with
each fill; bloody mary, mimosa, 2ni, etc. However soft drinks and
juice require a fresh glass.
An experienced table server or bartender will always replace a
lipstick smudged glass... of course those who don't blot excess
lipstick before drinking/dining are low class.
Kris
No, usually not. But introducing yourself briefly doesn't mean we're
"friends". I just think it's courteous.
IMHO, of course. veryone's different.
Kris
sf
wrote:
>On Oct 29, 6:10 pm, "Gregory Morrow" <bbbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
>>
>> 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
>
>A new mostly Italian restaurant opened nearby a while ago and we went
>to try it out. They brought a basket of a variety of good looking
>breads and poured olive oil into a saucer and added a dollop of
>balsamic vinegar. I said, "May I also have a little butter?" "People
>really like our oil and vinegar, " quoth the waiter. "And I probably
>will, too, even if I may have preferred to pour my own vinegar but
>still I like butter." At this point the waiter wanted to discuss the
>matter further, and I didn't want to.
Nice change. It seems like I always have to ask for OO at
restaurants, even the Italian ones. I don't want vinegar in my OO, so
that was a faux pas - ask before you pour.
>So I didn't say anything further. He never brought butter. The food
>was good but we never have gone back. The incident didn't spoil
>the occasion but it seemed to me to violate the "customer is right" rule.
How busy was the restaurant? I bet he forgot... or maybe they don't
stock butter, but he should have told you.
>Am I wrong? -aem
If that's the only thing keeping you from returning, yes. But I bet
it was a so-so meal and you wouldn't have gone back anyway.
Where was this?
Kate Connally
> 1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
>
> 2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for
> someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the
> bar.
>
> 3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
>
> 4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free
> drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty,
> and they did everything right.
>
> 5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are
> seated.
>
> 6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?" Both are fine.
> Remain neutral.
>
> 7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
Hallelujah! If only!
> 8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite
> specials. Wait for the right moment.
>
> 9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is
> not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
I wish they'd just print up a sheet with the specials. The
waitperson almost always talks too fast or they have them written
on a blackboard which always seems to be where I can't see it from
where I'm sitting or it's too far away to read.
> 10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
>
> 11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, "We only have two
> lobsters left." Even if there are only two lobsters left.
>
> 12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
>
> 13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
>
> 14. When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen to the
> answer and fix whatever is not right.
How about don't ask when someone has a mouth full of food! It never
fails to happen to me - every single time!!!!
> 15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with, "I'll
> find out."
>
> 16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of
> same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
>
> 17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating
> the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah, this really bugs me.
> 18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, "Who's
> having the shrimp?"
One of my biggest complaints. And it's worse now that they have
different people bring your order out that the one who took the order.
I've worked as a waitress, many years ago, and we never asked who had
what. It was unthinkable. You just were supposed to know!
> 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
>
> 20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
Yeah, especially when it beets or broccoli! ;-)
> 21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
>
> 22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean
> sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
>
> 23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to
> the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
Is this one of those really upscale places - $200 a meal? I can't
imagine them taking the time to do this unless it's a really fancy
place! Is this guy going to install a special "wine-bottle-label-
steamer-off" gadget so it doesn't take all night to do this?
> 24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
Well, if it's a different beverage okay, but it drives me nuts when
they bring a whole new glass with my free refill. It's wasteful of
time and energy to wash another glass and when you multiply that by
a hundred or more people a day, well . . . .
> 25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the
> table.
>
> 26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
>
> 27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the
> waiter to pour.
>
> 28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing
> the cork.
>
> 29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less
> noise the better.
>
> 30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No
> one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
Don't they wipe the bottles off before they bring them out to serve
you? Or do they leave the dirt/dust on so you can see how "old" the
wine is? ;-)
> 31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong.
> Obviously, something went wrong.
>
> 32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them,
> move them, wipe them or dust them.
Yeah, and I'll put my own napkin on my own lap, thanks!
Maybe 51-100 is where "Don't totally forget the customer exists when
it's time to bring the check!" is hiding. One of my biggest pet peeves.
The waitperson will be very attentive throughout the meat but when you
want your check you have to wait forever - they just disappear off the
face of the earth. I'm tempted to get up an walk out without paying and
if they complain about it I'll just say, "Well, no one ever brought me a
check so I figured the meal was on the house."
Kate
--
Kate Connally
�If I were as old as I feel, I�d be dead already.�
Goldfish: �The wholesome snack that smiles back,
Until you bite their heads off.�
What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about?
mailto:conn...@pitt.edu
Nathalie Chiva
wrote:
>
>Maybe 51-100 is where "Don't totally forget the customer exists when
>it's time to bring the check!" is hiding. One of my biggest pet peeves.
> The waitperson will be very attentive throughout the meat but when you
>want your check you have to wait forever - they just disappear off the
>face of the earth. I'm tempted to get up an walk out without paying and
>if they complain about it I'll just say, "Well, no one ever brought me a
>check so I figured the meal was on the house."
Well, don't do that in Europe, here bringing the check without being
asked is considered as rude (and I think it is - it's like saying "Now
pay and go away"). But I do want the waiter to see me flagging him
when I want the check!
Nathalie in Switzerland
Tracy
aem wrote:
> On Oct 29, 6:10 pm, "Gregory Morrow" <bbbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
>> http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restauran...
>>
>> October 29, 2009, 12:39 pm
>>
>> One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
>>
>> By Bruce Buschel
>>
>> "Herewith is a modest list of dos and don'ts for servers at the seafood
>> restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses,
>> libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what
>> follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature.
>> And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks,
>> reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that
>> role?
>> [snips]
>>
>> 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
>
> A new mostly Italian restaurant opened nearby a while ago and we went
> to try it out. They brought a basket of a variety of good looking
> breads and poured olive oil into a saucer and added a dollop of
> balsamic vinegar. I said, "May I also have a little butter?" "People
> really like our oil and vinegar, " quoth the waiter. "And I probably
> will, too, even if I may have preferred to pour my own vinegar but
> still I like butter." At this point the waiter wanted to discuss the
> matter further, and I didn't want to. So I didn't say anything
> further. He never brought butter. The food was good but we never
> have gone back. The incident didn't spoil the occasion but it seemed
> to me to violate the "customer is right" rule. Am I wrong? -aem
There is a local chain near me ( Not Your Average Joes) who offers
an olive oil, parmesan cheese dip with their bread.
They bring over a plate of grated parm and then pour olive oil over
it. It might have some crushed pepper in it too.
I think they ask you if you want it first, I am not sure since I
love the stuff.
I do believe the waiter should have brought you butter if you wanted
it....
I also like to add my own pepper. I think that is one of stupidest
things --> the waiter wandering around with a giant pepper mill...
Tracy
jmcquown
news:ompomelet-C6475...@news-wc.giganews.com...
> In article <EvmdnZbfaKFSp3fX...@earthlink.com>,
> "Gregory Morrow" <bbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
>
>> 15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with,
>> "I'll
>> find out."
>
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for
>>> someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at
>>> the
>>> bar.
Why on earth would they ask (expect) a single person to have a reservation?
Or ask if they'd like to sit at the bar? This infers they ARE expecting to
join other people... or maybe they should just be shuffled off to the bar
because they're pitiful for dining alone. (heh)
I've eaten in restaurants by myself plenty of times. It's not a crime. I
remember at one restaurant, I went there on my lunch break by myself. There
were two people in line ahead of me. The hostess saw them and me and asked,
"Table for three?" No. She seated them but she gave me a strange look,
then asked "Table for ONE?!" as if she'd never heard of such a thing before.
Yeah, it's just me sister ;) It's very rude to assume a person is meeting
someone else for lunch or dinner. Some of us are comfortable enough in our
own skins to do so.
Jill
jmcquown
news:E7DGm.21072$Dl6....@newsfe16.ams2...
I eat much more slowly than John does. I don't mind if they take away his
empty plate while I'm still eating. He sips his tea and we talk while I
finish my meal. I'm not going to try to wolf down my food to match anyone's
pace.
Jill
sf
wrote:
>The meal was pretty good. Living in the L.A. area, though, there are
>so many good places to eat that one has to be exceptional to make us
>repeat customers. We have maybe 3 places we return to regularly. The
>rest of the time it's exploring new places. -aem
You wouldn't have gone back anyway. :) I have pretty good meals all
the time and never return.
sf
>I also like to add my own pepper. I think that is one of stupidest
>things --> the waiter wandering around with a giant pepper mill...
I know how you feel, just put them on the table! I'm always happy to
see restaurants with pepper grinders on the table.... sometimes they
even have salt grinders.
jmcquown
news:st1me5hn47ga99oir...@4ax.com...
Seems very "continental" and also very appropriate. I hate having the bill
slapped down on the table as soon as my food arrives. Makes me feel rushed
when I haven't even taken the first bite!
Jill
none of your business
I like to know their name, but only so that if I need something I can
get their attention by addressing them by name, rather than "pardon
me, miss..." or "waiter, waiter..?" I don't want to know anything
personal about them, but I like giving them the courtesy of addressing
them by name. I realize they don't know my name... but they are
"serving" me. And people who are being "served" have a tendency
sometimes to treat those who are serving them like they are
entitled.... addressing the server by name reminds the servee that the
server is not beneath you. I wouldn't like to be "serving" someone and
be addressed like I didn't have a name. So I prefer to always address
the server by name.
none of your business
>
> They are not my friend,
> they are there to serve me a meal.
Do you snap your fingers when you need more bread?
Or do you ring your bell...?
what a snotty attitude. you probably leave exactly 15%, not a cent
more, not a cent less, for a tip to this nameless, less-than-human
servant.
Virginia Tadrzynski
"none of your business" <cartg...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:07d6fdb1-d032-4704...@v30g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
I like knowing who my server is. If a praiseworthy meal, I can mention it
to the management. If service sucked air, I can also mention it to the
management. If you have a name when you received crappy service the 'right'
server can be dealt with and not just a random 'dressing down to the whole
crew' the next business day.
-ginny
Arri London
The polite thing would be for *him* to match your speed..
That's what we were taught to do as part of 'proper' table manners.
George Leppla
Best post in this thread. What a great attitude.
George L
Nancy Young
>>> I gather the idea is not to make the other person feel rushed,
>>> but I don't care to sit in front of an empty plate, either. The
>>> best thing, maybe, is to try to finish your food at the same time,
>>> more or less. Try to mirror your companions eating speed.
>> I eat much more slowly than John does. I don't mind if they take
>> away his empty plate while I'm still eating. He sips his tea and we
>> talk while I finish my meal. I'm not going to try to wolf down my
>> food to match anyone's pace.
> The polite thing would be for *him* to match your speed..
I think most people do so even if subconsciously. I've eaten out
a gazillion times with different people, somehow it works out
that the plates are taken away at the same time without one
person rushing or another person having an empty plate for an
hour. It all kind of jibes.
nancy
Andy
news:4aeb7f7a$0$29140$ce5e...@news-radius.ptd.net:
> I like to know their name, but only so that if I need something I can
> get their attention by addressing them by name, rather than "pardon
> me, miss..." or "waiter, waiter..?" I don't want to know anything
> personal about them, but I like giving them the courtesy of addressing
> them by name. I realize they don't know my name... but they are
> "serving" me. And people who are being "served" have a tendency
> sometimes to treat those who are serving them like they are
> entitled.... addressing the server by name reminds the servee that the
> server is not beneath you. I wouldn't like to be "serving" someone and
> be addressed like I didn't have a name. So I prefer to always address
> the server by name.
>
> I like knowing who my server is. If a praiseworthy meal, I can
> mention it to the management. If service sucked air, I can also
> mention it to the management. If you have a name when you received
> crappy service the 'right' server can be dealt with and not just a
> random 'dressing down to the whole crew' the next business day.
> -ginny
ginny,
I use the same stradegy.
When a waitstaff comes to take my order (though it hasn't happened in
ages) after writing it down, I always ask "and your name is?" and after
they reply "Sue or Steve or whatever" I replay thanks Sue or Steve or
Whatever. They walk away with a smile and in my mind that improves my
service.
I'm not the only customer in the place. If the kitchen botches something,
I kindly ask for a fix.
When it comes to dining out, I'm "Clark Kent." :)))
Ever wondered why I address rfc members by name and then "Best" sign-off?
To me, it's like writing a letter, adding a touch of respect, like I was
taught in school.
Best,
Andy
sf
Not a snotty attitude at all. I don't want to be friends with the
server. I expect them to do their job and stay out of my face. Oh,
and your 15% guess? Only a cheapskate like you would say something
like that.
Dave Smith
> Not a snotty attitude at all. I don't want to be friends with the
> server. I expect them to do their job and stay out of my face. Oh,
> and your 15% guess? Only a cheapskate like you would say something
> like that.
I don't particularly want to know my server's name. I want the server to
take my order and to bring my food. I don't want to know the name of the
cashier at the grocery store or in the hardware either. In my books, the
introduction is nothing more than tip soliciting behaviour.
Stevie
Some have no choice but to dine alone. And live alone. Pathetic, but true.
Steve
Stevie
"John"? Sure.
Steve
Ed Pawlowski
"Nancy Young" <rjyn...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:E7DGm.21072$Dl6....@newsfe16.ams2...
> Nathalie Chiva wrote:
>> On Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:10:26 -0600, "Gregory Morrow"
>> <bbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
>>
>>> 17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still
>>> eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
>>
>> Bit of trivia: This is very true in the US, in France and in
>> Switzerland, but in Italy, it's considered impolite to leave an empty,
>> "dirty" plate in front of a guest, so waiters do take empty plates
>> from guests ASAP and it's considered "the thing to do".
>
> I gather the idea is not to make the other person feel rushed,
> but I don't care to sit in front of an empty plate, either. The
> best thing, maybe, is to try to finish your food at the same time,
> more or less. Try to mirror your companions eating speed.
> nancy
I don't mind if it is a plate from a sandwich or otherwise cleanish dish. I
don't want to stare at a dish loaded with chicken bones or mussel shells
though. If the other person id done eating, get rid of their bone laden
dish so I don't have to look at it while finishing my meal. I won't feel
rushed at all.
Ms P
"Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@ptd.net> wrote in message
news:4aeb7f7a$0$29140$ce5e...@news-radius.ptd.net...
I like knowing the server's name. If they're particularly great then I can
request their section the next time I go.
Ms P
Ed Pawlowski
"Dora" <lime...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>
> But why do you need to know their name? A good waiter will be aware and
> sense that he's needed.
If it is a restaurant that I frequent on a regular basis and the service is
very good, I want to know their name. Next time in, I'll ask for their
table. That assures me good service and they will get a good tip and
remember me the next time. Sometimes the waitstaff will write their name on
the bill and that is sufficient.
I don't want to become best of friends, but a good business relationship
benefits both parties.
djs...@aol.com
> "Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@ptd.net> wrote innews:4aeb7f7a$0$29140$ce5e...@news-radius.ptd.net:
>
> - Show quoted text -
As someone who has worked in the food service industry and customer
service I personally don't like it when customers feel they can
address me by my first name. Just because I am wearing a name badge
that does not give you permission to call me by my first name. I am
there to wait on you and to provide prompt, courteous service. I am
not there to be your new best friend. Others who work in customer
service feel the same way. I think everyone should have to spend at
least one year working in customer service. A lot of people can't do
it. That's one of the reasons there's such a high turnover rate in
customer service jobs.
hahabogus
@newsfe03.ams2 on Oct Fri 2009 08:14 pm
When I ear out it is ready set...EAT! Conversasions happen before and after the food gets there,
Yeah I know bad habit, but it is ingrained from my mom'd dinning mannors that she taught me.
--
Is that your nose, or are you eatting a banana? -Jimmy Durante
Ed Pawlowski
<djs...@aol.com> wrote in message
As someone who has worked in the food service industry and customer
service I personally don't like it when customers feel they can
address me by my first name. Just because I am wearing a name badge
that does not give you permission to call me by my first name. I am
there to wait on you and to provide prompt, courteous service. I am
not there to be your new best friend.
********************************************************************
I see you point, but . . . . .
If a customer wants to get your attention, should you be referred to as "hey
you" or just say "yo, waiter" ?
LeoS
Leo
Giusi
"Ed Pawlowski" ha scritto nel messaggio
> I see you point, but . . . . .> If a customer wants to get your attention,
> should you be referred to as "hey you" or just say "yo, waiter" ?
In hundreds of years of public eating, it has never been considered rude to
call "waiter" "garcon" or "cameriere" when in need of attention. In very
fine places you never need to, because there are more of them and someone is
watching for your slightest hesitation.
A lot of what was usual in etiquette has been forgotten since people rarely
have help at home. Americans used to eat in courses, too, until all the
help left to work elsewhere. Nowadays there may be immigrant help but no
one knows what to teach them. Can you imagine eating at an elegant home
table and the hostess jumping up to take away empty plates as soon as they
were emptied? Dining is supposed to include socializing, which tends to
make everyone eat a bit slower. Those who eat fast are the anomoly.
Andy
news:c728ec8b-8c28-4954...@d10g2000yqh.googlegroups.com:
> On Oct 30, 9:39�pm, Andy <a...@b.c> wrote:
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@ptd.net> wrote
>> innews:4aeb7f7a$0$29140$ce5e7
> 8...@news-radius.ptd.net:
Different strokes! I disagree with your outlook.
I know, to waitstaff, I'm just a table number. Still, it's easy being
congenial for maybe a combined of their time.
"Returns and exchanges" customer service staff don't work for tips.
YMMV.
Andy
sf
wrote:
>When I ear out it is ready set...EAT! Conversasions happen before and after the food gets there,
>Yeah I know bad habit, but it is ingrained from my mom'd dinning mannors that she taught me.
That old "children should be seen and not heard" attitude really
killed the art of dinner conversation in America. Now we are coming
up on the third generation of children who were raised eating in front
of the television set.... with no ability to carry on a dinner
conversation *and* atrocious table manners. Hold your utensils
correctly, fer cripes sake! It's pathetic to see adults (and they
aren't young ones either) who don't have a clue.
sf
>Just because I am wearing a name badge
>that does not give you permission to call me by my first name. I am
>there to wait on you and to provide prompt, courteous service. I am
>not there to be your new best friend. Others who work in customer
>service feel the same way.
Thank you. Sounds like you're a real professional.
sf
wrote:
>And when announcing the specials, please say how much they cost.
>
Better yet, tell your boss to stop being such a cheapskate and write
it down on paper to insert into the menu.
brooklyn1
>On Oct 30, 9:39?pm, Andy <a...@b.c> wrote:
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" <ta...@ptd.net> wrote innews:4aeb7f7a$0$29140$ce5e...@news-radius.ptd.net:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > I like to know their name, but only so that if I need something I can
>> > get their attention by addressing them by name, rather than "pardon
>> > me, miss..." or "waiter, waiter..?" I don't want to know anything
>> > personal about them, but I like giving them the courtesy of addressing
>> > them by name. I realize they don't know my name... but they are
>> > "serving" me. And people who are being "served" have a tendency
>> > sometimes to treat those who are serving them like they are
>> > entitled.... addressing the server by name reminds the servee that the
>> > server is not beneath you. I wouldn't like to be "serving" someone and
>> > be addressed like I didn't have a name. So I prefer to always address
>> > the server by name.
>>
>> > I like knowing who my server is. ?If a praiseworthy meal, I can
>> > mention it to the management. ?If service sucked air, I can also
>> > mention it to the management. ?If you have a name when you received
Nonsense, why do you think you're wearing a name tag, so you don't
forget your own name? Anyone who is averse to identifying themself
has no business in a customer service position. The main reason for
a high turnover rate in customer relations occupations is due to poor
telephone skills, including inability to speak intelligibly, and plain
old rudeness. There is never a reason for anyone working with the
public not to identify themselves. Everyone who uses the phone in the
course of their job, when making a call needs to be prepared to
immediately identify themselves and the business they represent, not
to is plain old rude. When someone phones me I answer with "Hello",
then the caller has five seconds to say "Hello" and disclose their
name, who they represent, and the nature of their call. If not after
five seconds I hang up... I don't answer any questions until I know
who you are. Way more than half the people who use telephones are
incapable of speaking intelligibly, it's rare I get a voice mail I can
understand, they race through leaving a phone number so quickly not
one number is decipherable. Years ago in college I had to choose an
elective so I chose Public Speaking. One of the first exercises was
for everyone in turn to read the same passage into a tape recorder.
When played back not one of 30 students was able to recognize their
own voice, and only 2 spoke intelligibly. And people don't seem to
realize that if they leave a voice mail from a speaker phone their
message will be garbled.
blake murphy
> On Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:22:07 -0400, Tracy <kara...@bc.edu> wrote:
>
>>I also like to add my own pepper. I think that is one of stupidest
>>things --> the waiter wandering around with a giant pepper mill...
>
> I know how you feel, just put them on the table! I'm always happy to
> see restaurants with pepper grinders on the table.... sometimes they
> even have salt grinders.
people slag the outback, but i noticed they had both.
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
i don't think i've heard of that as part of good manners, other than you're
not supposed to shovel it in. (i'm a slow eater; some would be frustrated
if they matched my pace. i usually say 'go ahead and order dessert' since
i usually don't have one.)
your pal,
blake
blake murphy
> "Ed Pawlowski" ha scritto nel messaggio
>
>> I see you point, but . . . . .> If a customer wants to get your attention,
>> should you be referred to as "hey you" or just say "yo, waiter" ?
>
> In hundreds of years of public eating, it has never been considered rude to
> call "waiter" "garcon" or "cameriere" when in need of attention. In very
> fine places you never need to, because there are more of them and someone is
> watching for your slightest hesitation.
>
> A lot of what was usual in etiquette has been forgotten since people rarely
> have help at home. Americans used to eat in courses, too, until all the
> help left to work elsewhere. Nowadays there may be immigrant help but no
> one knows what to teach them. Can you imagine eating at an elegant home
> table and the hostess jumping up to take away empty plates as soon as they
> were emptied?
interesting point.
your pal,
blake
brooklyn1
Has nothing to do with soliciting tips... do you tip cashiers, I
don't. Employees who have contact with the public are made to wear
name tags as a condition of employment not to get personal, but as a
quiet form of identification in case of someone wanting to complain or
applaud a particular employee later, the name tag is not there as a
invite for developing a personal relationship... police wear name tags
too, and have badge numbers... when stopped I've never used the cops
name, it's yes officer, thank you officer. Employees are made to wear
name tags for exactly the opposite of developing personal
relationships, it to defer one from getting too friendly by asking the
employee's name, it's strictly for future identification (any guy
asking the waitresses name you can be sure it's an opener for hitting
on her). Nurses wear name tags too, but since they are professionals
I would never use their name in the course of them plying their
profession, it's Nurse, get your butt over here with my pain pill,
can't you hear me buzzing... NURSE! Oh, Nurse, ohh, that feels so
good... oooh NURSE! LOL
It's traditional in business relationships to offer identification,
with service employees the name tag is traditional, with professionals
they offer business cards with contact info because they expect to be
contacted later, Service employee's tags don't indicate contact info
because they do not expect to be contacted later. A wait person does
not expect patrons to yell out their names in the course of doing
their job. There are more sophistacated methods of gaining the
server's attention... I've never used a servers name in the course of
their performing their occupation, to do so would be a signal to the
manager (and others) that they are not doing their job... calling the
waitstaff by name from accross the room would only be done to
embarrass them. If a service person is wearing a name tag I find it
rude and insulting for them to tell me their name because they are
assuming I am incapable of reading. If anything a server wearing a
name tag telling patrons their name automatically ensures a lesser tip
right from the gitgo because they are presuming that the patrons are
idiots who can't read.
Whenever I conduct business over the phone, even if just buying mail
order, I make it a point to write down the name of the person I'm
speaking with, and the same with everyone I'm transferred to... makes
life much easier if a problem arises days later. And when at the end
of the conversation I say "Thank you Susan" that goes a long way
towards ensuring that there won't be a problem later because I've
reminded them I know who they are.
brooklyn1
No one has no choice but to live alone. Some of us are blessed with
the ability to live alone when we choose to.
djs...@aol.com
> <djs0...@aol.com> wrote in message
Of course there are always exceptions. It's one thing to call me by
name if they need to get my attention but there is such a thing as
going overboard. Sometimes people try to get a little too chummy.
brooklyn1
>
>And when announcing the specials, please say how much they cost.
>
>Leo
When they don't indicate the price I can only assume they figure I
can't afford it and so not to ruffle their feathers I don't order
their stinkin' specials. I don't order the specials anyway... they
are made from the ingredients about to go off and already have.
Ran�e at Arabian Knits
"Giusi" <deco...@gmail.com> wrote:
> A lot of what was usual in etiquette has been forgotten since people rarely
> have help at home. Americans used to eat in courses, too, until all the
> help left to work elsewhere. Nowadays there may be immigrant help but no
> one knows what to teach them. Can you imagine eating at an elegant home
> table and the hostess jumping up to take away empty plates as soon as they
> were emptied? Dining is supposed to include socializing, which tends to
> make everyone eat a bit slower. Those who eat fast are the anomoly.
True, but what about those of us who cannot afford "staff?" Should
we not entertain? Or should we leave the dirty dishes out?
Our priest used to start washing the dishes at any event we had. I
could not stop him. He thought it was a way he could serve us. It was
very sweet.
Regards,
Ranee @ Arabian Knits
"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13
Ranee at Arabian Knits
sf <s...@geemail.com> wrote:
> That old "children should be seen and not heard" attitude really
> killed the art of dinner conversation in America.
I'm not sure that is what did it. That attitude was rampant in our
grandparents and great grandparents generations, yet they were able to
have great conversation and have lovely table manners.
> Now we are coming
> up on the third generation of children who were raised eating in front
> of the television set.... with no ability to carry on a dinner
> conversation *and* atrocious table manners. Hold your utensils
> correctly, fer cripes sake! It's pathetic to see adults (and they
> aren't young ones either) who don't have a clue.
I think this is a bigger problem than children being taught to be
seen and not heard. Families neither have a children's hour dinner, nor
do they share the meal together.
Ran�e at Arabian Knits
Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> I don't particularly want to know my server's name. I want the server to
> take my order and to bring my food. I don't want to know the name of the
> cashier at the grocery store or in the hardware either. In my books, the
> introduction is nothing more than tip soliciting behaviour.
In general, I agree with this. However, we have lived in small
towns, you get to know people. We talk, we learn each others names, we
ask about children. It isn't a way to get something from us.
Dave Smith
>> I don't particularly want to know my server's name. I want the server to
>> take my order and to bring my food. I don't want to know the name of the
>> cashier at the grocery store or in the hardware either. In my books, the
>> introduction is nothing more than tip soliciting behaviour.
>
> Has nothing to do with soliciting tips..
If it was not for soliciting tips the name tag alone would suffice. They
introduce themselves and do all the other cutesy stuff to solicit tips.
You are just another customer to them and they may leave at the end of
the shift will all sorts of stories about their idiot customers, but
they act friendly and solicitous because they want you to like them and
leave a big tip. If a waitress is cute enough and smiles and touches
you, most guys will forget that they brought the wrong order and leave a
big tip anyway. Then there is the bill with the thank you, their name
and a smiley face. If they were really serious about wanting to be
friends they could add their telephone number.
> do you tip cashiers, I don't.
Of course not. That is exactly why I have often commented that I do not
tip for counter service, just as we are not expected to tip cashiers in
grocery stores, dry cleaners, florists, hardware etc.
> quiet form of identification in case of someone wanting to complain or
> applaud a particular employee later, the name tag is not there as a
> invite for developing a personal relationship... police wear name tags
> too, and have badge numbers... when stopped I've never used the cops
> name, it's yes officer, thank you officer. Employees are made to wear
> name tags for exactly the opposite of developing personal
> relationships, it to defer one from getting too friendly by asking the
> employee's name, it's strictly for future identification (any guy
> asking the waitresses name you can be sure it's an opener for hitting
> on her).
I did not wear a badge. We did not even have badges for the first half
of my time working in enforcement. I had authority cards with my name
and number. When I did get a badge it came in a wallet. I did not have a
name tag until the last year or two. If someone asked my name I told
them I was Officer Smith. I did not tell them my last name.
Andy
news:gpnoe5deded17c0gh...@4ax.com:
> (any guy
> asking the waitresses name you can be sure it's an opener for hitting
> on her).
Ignorant, sexist, bullshit!!!
Andy
Dave Smith
> In article <4aeb9e7a$0$1611$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com>,
> Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
>> I don't particularly want to know my server's name. I want the server to
>> take my order and to bring my food. I don't want to know the name of the
>> cashier at the grocery store or in the hardware either. In my books, the
>> introduction is nothing more than tip soliciting behaviour.
>
> In general, I agree with this. However, we have lived in small
> towns, you get to know people. We talk, we learn each others names, we
> ask about children. It isn't a way to get something from us.
I live in a small town too, and I am on a first name basis with most of
the people in the local shops. I make a point of dealing with local
business. My son went to school with the kids of some of them.
What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should
they be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend? If I
take my business to someone because they are a friend I expect a discount.
Andy
a1c43e...@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com:
> Of course there are always exceptions. It's one thing to call me by
> name if they need to get my attention but there is such a thing as
> going overboard. Sometimes people try to get a little too chummy.
Have you ever been a regular at a diner on a regular basis, where you see
the same waitstaff every time you visit? After a time you get to know them
and it's a simple pleasantry to call them by name, is all. After five years
of being served by the same waitstaff what do say, "excuse me. miss?"???
Andy
Melba's Jammin'
Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should
> they be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend?
Neither. I tip as I normally would.
> If I take my business to someone because they are a friend I expect a
> discount.
Wow! I think that's pretty cheeky. Like it costs them less to serve
you than to serve anyone else. Just my opinion, clearly. The only
way I'd be inclined to give you a discount *might* be if you were
responsible for increasing my business by several hundred dollars � and
then I'd probably do it one time. The thing about discounts is where
do you stop? "She gave YOU a discount but she didn't give ME one!!
Harummpphh!"
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - Who Said Chickens Have Fingers?
10-30-2009
Dave Smith
> In article <4aec7421$0$1604$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com>,
> Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
>> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
>> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should
>> they be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend?
>
> Neither. I tip as I normally would.
>
>> If I take my business to someone because they are a friend I expect a
>> discount.
>
> Wow! I think that's pretty cheeky. Like it costs them less to serve
> you than to serve anyone else. Just my opinion, clearly. The only
> way I'd be inclined to give you a discount *might* be if you were
> do you stop? "She gave YOU a discount but she didn't give ME one!!
> Harummpphh!"
They are getting my business because they are a friend. It is business
that they might not otherwise get.
Ed Pawlowski
"Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should they
> be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend? If I take my
> business to someone because they are a friend I expect a discount.
>
I'd tip the same. If I was buying a car or major appliance from a friend,
I'd ask for a discount. But to suggest a smaller tip for a meal is just
plain cheap. They go to work to make a living, just as you do. Doing
favors after work is something else,but taking wages from their pocket is
not very nice.
Ran�e at Arabian Knits
Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
I don't expect one, though we have been offered them by friends
before and taken them thankfully. The lady who cut Rich's hair while he
was in flight school did give us a discount, as did the person who
cleaned our house for two years. We were grateful for it, but gave
gratuities as we would have normally and gifts at Christmas as per
normal.
George Leppla
So as a "friend", you expect him to cut his profit margin just to get
YOUR business? Just because you know the guy means that he should be
willing to make less on a sale to you? Your friendship has a price?
You are giving him business that he might not otherwise had? What good
is your business if he has to cut his own throat to get it.
If you valued your friendship, you wouldn't think of asking for a
discount. You'd pay the same rate/price he charges everyone else and if
his price or service was not competitive, you would take your business
elsewhere.
You don't beat your friends down..... you should try to lift them up.
George L
Cheryl
"blake murphy" <blakepm...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:1i6t9zijmsnau$.r3stndij05i4.dlg@40tude.net...
I LIKE Outback!
Dave Smith
> "Dave Smith" <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
>> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
>> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should they
>> be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend? If I take my
>> business to someone because they are a friend I expect a discount.
>>
>
> I'd tip the same. If I was buying a car or major appliance from a friend,
> I'd ask for a discount. But to suggest a smaller tip for a meal is just
> plain cheap. They go to work to make a living, just as you do.
I am not sure it is a matter of being cheap. I was more concerned that a
friend might consider it insulting to be tipped.
Dan Abel
Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
> If someone asked my name I told
> them I was Officer Smith. I did not tell them my last name.
That's pretty tricky.
Troublemaker: "What's your name, officer?"
Dave: "John Doe. That's OFFICER Doe, to you."
--
Dan Abel
Petaluma, California USA
da...@sonic.net
Dan Abel
<1e3d10b5-86a3-40ee...@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com>,
"djs...@aol.com" <djs...@aol.com> wrote:
> On Oct 31, 8:51?am, "Ed Pawlowski" <e...@snet.net> wrote:
> > <djs0...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > Just because I am wearing a name badge
> > that does not give you permission to call me by my first name.
> > ********************************************************************
> >
> > I see you point, but . . . . .
> > If a customer wants to get your attention, should you be referred to as "hey
> > you" or just say "yo, waiter" ?
>
> Of course there are always exceptions. It's one thing to call me by
> name if they need to get my attention but there is such a thing as
> going overboard. Sometimes people try to get a little too chummy.
I'm glad you explained. I would be pretty confused if somebody wore a
name tag because I didn't have permission from them to use the name on
their name tag.
And, of course, stuff does happen. My wife's brother's second wife (or
was it #3?) was a server, and he met her when she was serving him.
Dave Smith
>> They are getting my business because they are a friend. It is business
>> that they might not otherwise get.
>
>
> So as a "friend", you expect him to cut his profit margin just to get
> YOUR business? Just because you know the guy means that he should be
> willing to make less on a sale to you? Your friendship has a price?
>
> You are giving him business that he might not otherwise had? What good
> is your business if he has to cut his own throat to get it.
No one is asking him to cut his own throat. I would only expect a
discount. Most contractors have a high enough profit margin to cover the
times that they have no work. He is getting something to fill in his
time and is still making money. I don't have to take my business to a
friend is someone else can do the same job for the same price or less. I
certainly don't think that it is unheard of for people to give discounts
to friends and relatives. Most would do it automatically. I am so used
to being offered the discount that I guess I have come to expect it.
> You don't beat your friends down..... you should try to lift them up.
And vice versa.
Dave Smith
> In article <4aec72f8$0$1630$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com>,
> Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>
>
>> If someone asked my name I told
>> them I was Officer Smith. I did not tell them my last name.
>
> That's pretty tricky.
>
> Troublemaker: "What's your name, officer?"
>
> Dave: "John Doe. That's OFFICER Doe, to you."
My brother used to be a cop and once had to raid a rowdy drunken teen
party. One of the drunken teens demanded to know his name. He said it
was Smith. The kid asked him how to spell it. "It's Smith. Are you
retarded?"
sf
<arabia...@gmail.com> wrote:
>I'm not sure that is what did it. That attitude was rampant in our
>grandparents and great grandparents generations, yet they were able to
>have great conversation and have lovely table manners.
Another old saying is "Little pitchers have big ears"... meaning
children listened to adult conversations back then, so they had
conversational models. And just because they weren't to interrupt
didn't mean they were ignored, which is why their table manners didn't
suffer. IMO, at least.
--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
sf
<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>If it was not for soliciting tips the name tag alone would suffice. They
>introduce themselves and do all the other cutesy stuff to solicit tips.
Dave, they do it because their employer requires it. Staff training
and all. Any server worth their salt knows tips don't hinge on if the
customer knows your name or not. I'm not talking about "regular
customers", who will eventually get to know your name... I'm talking
about the occasional to one time only customer.
Don't you remember when servers used to practically kneel when they
were talking to you? It wasn't an idea that suddenly took off and
became a fad among servers. Some corporate MBA somewhere probably
pointed to studies that showed people would be "more comfortable" with
the server on their level (they think about up selling, not tips).
Total BS, I know... and you can design studies to prove anything, but
you still run across the odd restaurant here or there where they have
to do it.
sf
They can always refuse it.
sf
<grave...@verizon.net> wrote:
> I don't order the specials anyway... they
>are made from the ingredients about to go off and already have.
You've got that one bassackwards. Specials are usually one of two
things.
1. Something they're considering as a regular item on the menu, so
being a special is the trial run (usually more than once). You know,
run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. If customers like
(order) it enough, it goes on the menu.
2. They got a good buy that day on something they don't usually
serve. Chefs need mental exercises too. I imagine it gets boring
doing the same ole, same ole dishes daily.
Cheryl
"brooklyn1" <grave...@verizon.net> wrote in message
news:5hroe5d4dapast4lr...@4ax.com...
We don't live alone, Sheldon. We have cats! ;)
brooklyn1
<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>brooklyn1 wrote:
>
>>> I don't particularly want to know my server's name. I want the server to
>>> take my order and to bring my food. I don't want to know the name of the
>>> cashier at the grocery store or in the hardware either. In my books, the
>>> introduction is nothing more than tip soliciting behaviour.
>>
>> Has nothing to do with soliciting tips..
>
>If it was not for soliciting tips the name tag alone would suffice. They
>introduce themselves and do all the other cutesy stuff to solicit tips.
>
They introduce themselves and parrot the specials only because the
manager commands them to, and not for them to garner tips, the manager
has hopes of patrons ordering the specials, and many folks when
annoyed will order the specials just to be rid of the annoying speil
and/or they are easily embarrased. If anything that behaviour makes
patrons leave lesser tips. The wait staff knows it but they do it to
keep their job until they find a new job... anyone with an IQ has to
realize that the waitstaff doean't dream up such performances on their
own, it's 100% management's production. I don't frequent places that
do that stupid routine but once, and if it annoys you then neither
should you. Anyone who feels that the circus routine is to make
patrons leave tips is easily intimidated and not too bright. The
entire concept of specials is devised as a method whereby eateries
sell a dish containing ingredients they over purchased or for whatever
reason didn't sell before they would spoil. I make it a point not to
patronize restaurants that push specials.
brooklyn1
It's unwise to patronize businesses where people you socialize with in
private work in a service capacity, you are placing them in a
compromising position... even if the owner is a friend you socialze
with you are looking to lose a friendship... kind of like how medical
doctors don't treat their friends and family. Find somewhere else to
buy your meals... confucious say only jackass mixes pleasure with
business.
brooklyn1
<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>Melba's Jammin' wrote:
>> In article <4aec7421$0$1604$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com>,
>> Dave Smith <adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>>
>>> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
>>> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should
>>> they be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend?
>>
>> Neither. I tip as I normally would.
>>
>>> If I take my business to someone because they are a friend I expect a
>>> discount.
>>
>> Wow! I think that's pretty cheeky. Like it costs them less to serve
>> you than to serve anyone else. Just my opinion, clearly. The only
>> way I'd be inclined to give you a discount *might* be if you were
>> responsible for increasing my business by several hundred dollars � and
>> then I'd probably do it one time. The thing about discounts is where
>> do you stop? "She gave YOU a discount but she didn't give ME one!!
>> Harummpphh!"
>
>
>They are getting my business because they are a friend. It is business
>that they might not otherwise get.
How charitable of you... with friends like you they don't need any
enemies.
Omelet
"Cheryl" <jlhs...@hotmail.com> wrote:
Ditto.
Great rack of lamb. ;-d
--
Peace! Om
"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein
Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>
recfood...@yahoogroups.com
Subscribe: recfoodrecip...@yahoogroups.com
Dave Smith
> 1. Something they're considering as a regular item on the menu, so
> being a special is the trial run (usually more than once). You know,
> run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. If customers like
> (order) it enough, it goes on the menu.
Most of the restaurants that I frequented when working had daily
specials. It was usually a particular dish the same night each week.
> 2. They got a good buy that day on something they don't usually
> serve. Chefs need mental exercises too. I imagine it gets boring
> doing the same ole, same ole dishes daily.
I used to run into one of the local chefs in the grocery store where he
was picking up deals, and whatever he got a great deal on was going to
be the special of the day.
Dave Smith
>>
>> What do you do about tips when you are being waited on by friends?
>> Should you give them a bigger tip because they are friends, or should
>> they be willing to wait on you for less because you are a friend? If I
>> take my business to someone because they are a friend I expect a discount.
>
> It's unwise to patronize businesses where people you socialize with in
> private work in a service capacity, you are placing them in a
> compromising position... even if the owner is a friend you socialze
> with you are looking to lose a friendship... kind of like how medical
> doctors don't treat their friends and family. Find somewhere else to
> buy your meals... confucious say only jackass mixes pleasure with
> business.
I only deal with the friends and acquaintances who I know do good work.
I know lots of people who I would not deal with.
djs...@aol.com
> "djs0...@aol.com" <djs0...@aol.com> wrote in news:1e3d10b5-86a3-40ee-b208-
> a1c43eb2e...@v25g2000yqk.googlegroups.com:
>
> > Of course there are always exceptions. �It's one thing to call me by
> > name if they need to get my attention but there is such a thing as
> > going overboard. �Sometimes people try to get a little too chummy.
>
> Have you ever been a regular at a diner on a regular basis, where you see
> the same waitstaff every time you visit? After a time you get to know them
> and it's a simple pleasantry to call them by name, is all. After five years
> of being served by the same waitstaff what do say, "excuse me. miss?"???
>
> Andy
After you've waited on the same people several times and you feel more
comfortable treating them in a more casual manner it's okay to be a
little more relaxed with using personal names. However, I would never
address a customer by their name unless it was someone I had known for
a long time and they asked me or told me it was okay to call them by
their name. What is wrong is when people, whom I've never met, have
the need to be all chummy with me and use my name at the end of every
sentence. Anytime someone says, "Thank you <name>." I always want to
respond, "You're welcome whoever you are."
Ranee at Arabian Knits
sf <s...@geemail.com> wrote:
> On Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:18:38 -0700, Ranee at Arabian Knits
> <arabia...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> >I'm not sure that is what did it. That attitude was rampant in our
> >grandparents and great grandparents generations, yet they were able to
> >have great conversation and have lovely table manners.
>
> Another old saying is "Little pitchers have big ears"... meaning
> children listened to adult conversations back then, so they had
> conversational models. And just because they weren't to interrupt
> didn't mean they were ignored, which is why their table manners didn't
> suffer. IMO, at least.
I think that is a big part of it. Even now, what parent doesn't hear
his words coming out of his child's mouth?
Cheryl
"George Leppla" <geo...@cruisemaster.com> wrote in message
news:hchve...@news3.newsguy.com...
> You are giving him business that he might not otherwise had? What good is
> your business if he has to cut his own throat to get it.
>
> If you valued your friendship, you wouldn't think of asking for a
> discount. You'd pay the same rate/price he charges everyone else and if
> his price or service was not competitive, you would take your business
> elsewhere.
>
> You don't beat your friends down..... you should try to lift them up.
Agreed. I use a particular lawn mower repair shop because it is owned by a
friend of mine. I don't ask for a discount, in fact, I gladly pay what I'd
pay another shop that gives me service as well as they do. I'd like to see
the company going strong and tell friends about the great service, and they
don't expect a discount, either.
Andy
bb92-7cd...@m38g2000yqd.googlegroups.com:
> After you've waited on the same people several times and you feel more
> comfortable treating them in a more casual manner it's okay to be a
> little more relaxed with using personal names. However, I would never
> address a customer by their name unless it was someone I had known for
> a long time and they asked me or told me it was okay to call them by
> their name. What is wrong is when people, whom I've never met, have
> the need to be all chummy with me and use my name at the end of every
> sentence. Anytime someone says, "Thank you <name>." I always want to
> respond, "You're welcome whoever you are."
Don't get me wrong, as a customer, I never offer my name. If, as a
regular, they ask I'll tell them and they'll walk away and my name will
turn into vapor.
I CAN walk into almost any restaurant and they know me. My name is "Hon".
<VBG>
An aside: When I was a Diner breakfast BUM!!! (pancakes and sausages) in
my tiny town, it was a common occurrence to chat the news and current
township events across tables and booths across the room. Lawyers and
clients chatting their case strategies and the slowest waitresses on the
planet in the middle of it all. An enjoyably unique experience! Sometimes
when a waitress needed to get off her feet, she'd sit down at my table to
catch her breath and make idle chit-chat for a minute or two. I didn't
mind at all. There probably should've been a brass plaque with my name
fastened to table, with a red phone and velvet ropes around it when I
wasn't dining! Dream on! :D
Andy
frie...@zoocrewphoto.com
> On Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:02:19 -0700 (PDT), poop on toast
>
>
>
> <boundless_apa...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >On Oct 29, 9:10 pm, "Gregory Morrow" <bbbb...@comsat.de> wrote:
> >>http://boss.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/one-hundred-things-restauran...
>
> >> October 29, 2009, 12:39 pm
>
> >> One Hundred Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do (Part 1)
>
> >> By Bruce Buschel
>
> >> "Herewith is a modest list of dos and don'ts for servers at the seafood
> >> restaurant I am building. Veteran waiters, moonlighting actresses,
> >> libertarians and baristas will no doubt protest some or most of what
> >> follows. They will claim it homogenizes them or stifles their true nature.
> >> And yet, if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks,
> >> reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that
> >> role?
>
> >> 1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
>
> >> 2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, "Are you waiting for
> >> someone?" Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the
> >> bar.
>
>
> >> 4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free
> >> drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty,
> >> and they did everything right.
>
> >> 5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are
> >> seated.
>
> >> 6. Do not lead the witness with, "Bottled water or just tap?" Both are fine.
> >> Remain neutral.
>
> >> 7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
>
> >> 8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite
> >> specials. Wait for the right moment.
>
> >> 9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is
> >> not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
>
> >> 10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
>
> >> 11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, "We only have two
> >> lobsters left." Even if there are only two lobsters left.
>
> >> 12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
>
> >> 13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
>
> >> 14. When you ask, "How's everything?" or "How was the meal?" listen to the
> >> answer and fix whatever is not right.
>
> >> 15. Never say "I don't know" to any question without following with, "I'll
> >> find out."
>
> >> same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
>
> >> 17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating
> >> the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
>
> >> 18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, "Who's
> >> having the shrimp?"
>
> >> 19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
>
> >> 20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
>
> >> 21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
>
> >> 22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean
> >> sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
>
> >> 23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to
> >> the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
>
> >> 24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
>
> >> 25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the
> >> table.
>
> >> 26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
>
> >> 27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the
> >> waiter to pour.
>
> >> 28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing
> >> the cork.
>
> >> 29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less
> >> noise the better.
>
> >> 30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No
> >> one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
>
> >> 31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong.
> >> Obviously, something went wrong.
>
> >> 32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them,
> >> move them, wipe them or dust them.
>
> >> 33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
>
> >> 34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot
> >> of customers.
>
> >> 35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
>
> >> 36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and
> >> beverage.
>
> >> 37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. "Not
> >> when I'm on duty" will suffice.
>
> >> 38.Do not call a guy a "dude."
>
> >> 39. Do not call a woman "lady."
>
> >> 40. Never say, "Good choice," implying that other choices are bad.
>
> >> 41. Saying, "No problem" is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or
> >> sarcasm. "My pleasure" or "You're welcome" will do.
>
> >> 42. Do not compliment a guest's attire or hairdo or makeup. You are
> >> insulting someone else.
>
> >> 43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It's irrelevant.
>
> >> 44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose
> >> intolerant or diabetic.
>
> >> 45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
>
> >> 46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are
> >> equal.
>
> >> 47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
>
> >> 48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more;
> >> remember or consult the order.
>
> >> 49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
>
> >> 50. Do not turn on the charm when it's tip time. Be consistent throughout.
>
> >> Next week: 51-100..."
>
> >#51 Great list.
>
> >#52 No one in their right mind should take on this shit job for three
> >(or whatever the fuck it is nowadays it's peanuts and plus tips it's
> >still peanuts considering all the shit you have to do) bucks an hour
> >plus tips.
>
> About half of those are company policy issues that a server can't do
> anything about. What server wants to announce "I'm Bruce and I'll be
> your server tonight" and who wants to recite specials? Some are
> personal preference, like #17. I DO NOT want to sit at the table with
> a dirty plate in front of me. I don't care if someone else is still
> eating or not, take it away. The rest are just plain manners and
> should be on the list.
>
> --
> I love cooking with wine.
> Sometimes I even put it in the food.
I was taught that if you want the plate to be picked up, to move it to
the edge, Then they know that you would like it gone. Otherwise, they
don't useually try to take them unless everybody appears to have
stopped eating (I usually have leftovers).