Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: 1-1: "Desserts and Drinks"
Ubiquitous
Sandra takes a trip to the bakery for ideas and claims that she can make a
better banana pastry than theirs. Bitch!
Back at home, she tells us "It takes HOURS to make berry cobbler" (Oh really?)
and makes the first of many misuses of "literally" ("literally to die from",
"literally fell asleep in my plate", etc).
After gathering the ingredients for the cobbler, she tells us "These
ingrediants are easy to make yourself". Rum extract? Flour? Tubes of cookie
dough? easy to make yourself?
SLop shamelessly relates her first experience cooking with rum and how she
"almost" burned the house down. No WONDER she warns us all the time!
Sandra claims that her rum raspberry trifle that she made with twinkies,
rum + strawberry jam and a pudding cup "tastes like scratch", whatever that
means. She samples her concoction and has her first of many foodgasms of her
illustrious career..
Bwah! In the glamour shot of the cobbler, one can visibly see sinking ice
cream.
VO: "Everything you see can not be easier to make".
Sandra tells us about her friend who can't make a cake from a box mix. Who the
hell is that inept, besides you?
Sandra tells us to only let the frozen puff pastry thaw for 30 minutes so it's
not room temp. I have to call her on this one, as I recently made something
from Good Eats which required puff pastry for about 20 minutes and it was
almost too soft.
Sandra spins a disjointed tale about how her grannie used to make clothes for
movie stars and how SLop worked for mashed bananas with maple syrup, which made
her think that bananas were a treat for the longest time.
SLop's tip: If you want to make larger "purses", cut larger pieces of dough.
SLop removes the purses from the oven and starts to eat one, cooing "You, my
love, are going to be EATEN!". Gah!
While making the Cabana Rum, SLop confesses that she "literally stole this
recipe from a trip to Jamaica" (hmmm) and then tells us about how much more
potent rum is there and how she and a friend drank too much and passed out at
her friend's parents dinner table, claiming they "literally fell alseep in our
plates". She then issues this weird belated apology to the Chandlers. Klassy.
VO: "I'm simply adding cherry 'juice' right out of the jar!"
With a gleeful "Me open bottle! me open bottle!", SLop manages to open a bottle
of champaign!
Sandra makes Sangria (not boiled!) and asks "Can u tell I like brandy? I put it
in everything!" Oh really?
VO: "This is my fav part of the day, making tablescapes"
Normally this is where we can tell by the graphic on the screen that it's now
"Sandra's Cocktail Time!", but that effect hadn't been invented yet. SLop
claims that a fan sent her an email and procedes to read it, via another VO.
Yeah, right, a "fan" sent you email before your show even aired... In the
letter, a "fan" asks for what she can do to make her 10th anniversery special.
Sandra's reposnse? Sherbert shooters! Yeah, nothing says "klassy" like sherbert
shooters on your second honeymoon. I am really surprised she didn't mention
pixie stix.
--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
tsr3
show is paying you well to keep its name in the limelight in rfc.
Hope you are not stupid enough to do all this advertising for the show
for free.
James Kew
news:Y5udnTeR6uP...@comcast.com...
> SLop shamelessly relates her first experience cooking with rum and how she
> "almost" burned the house down.
...which is why she prefers to cook with rum flavouring rather than real,
uh, li-KOOR.
> SLop
> claims that a fan sent her an email and procedes to read it, via another
> VO.
I hadn't realised this was the first one. At the end of the episode she
invites us to send her email -- albeit with no email address in sight. I
wonder how many emails it took before they realised that inviting feedback
might not be a good thing?
James
sf
> Hope you are not stupid enough to do all this advertising for the show
> for free.
This isn't the first thread here about SL, so you be the judge.
sf
<learn to love your kill file>
samantha...@yahoo.com
lo, the network execs said, "We can make a lot of money with a cheaply produced
program hosted by a publicity hungry bimbo who can turn out crappy food, tons of
bizarre drinks and tacky babbles for easily impressed people." And hence the execs
brought forth unto the land Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. And it was bad.
Very, VERY bad.
oss1...@pchome.com.tw
the mistakes she made before becoming a polished cooking show hostess?
I know that hindsight is 20/20, but does the fact that the first show has no
actual food in it surprise anyone? Its her philosophy - skip the food and get
to the alcohol and sugar.
-L.
Ubiquitous wrote:
> Some random notes from the very first ep which started it all:
>
Did it ever occur to you that anyone who WANTS to watch this show
already does? That we don't need your inane synopses?
Just a thought.
-L.
Sandi
Learn to use your kill file if you don't want to see these. Personally,
I find these "summaries" and many of the responses hysterically funny.
it makes me want to actually watch just one episode to seee the bimbo
in action. But....we don't have that network on our cable system here
in Central America so I just read the summaries for my chuckle of the
day.
Sandi
James Kew
news:1124964164....@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> Did it ever occur to you that anyone who WANTS to watch this show
> already does? That we don't need your inane synopses?
Oh, we don't _need_ them; but some of us quite _like_ them.
James
Goomba38
the shows, in fact!
Goomba
Charlotte
Here's a thought for you, "L"--
Is someone holding a gun to your head and making you read these posts of
Ubi's? If you don't like them, then killfile the posts, or, hey, here's
another thought...JUST SKIP OVER THEM. Many people here seem to enjoy them.
Why should their fun be spoiled because you don't like it? You've stated
your case, but it's just an opinion like everyone else's. Ubi is free to
post, you are free to NOT READ THEM.
Charlotte
Former lurker who just had to say something, because it's NOT that big of a
deal one way or the other.
Ubiquitous
gent...@peacemail.com wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:
>> Some random notes from the very first ep which started it all:
>
>Did it ever occur to you that anyone who WANTS to watch this show
>already does? That we don't need your inane synopses?
Yet you continue to read them?
Nick
There are a lot of words but all I see is:
"Waaaaaaaah, I don't like these posts and I don't want anyone else to read
them waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
pl...@quentincrisp.com
> twinkies, rum + strawberry jam and a pudding cup "tastes like
> scratch"
See, that's the problem I have with Sandra, and to some degree with
Rachael Ray:
No matter how much you pretend, pudding cups taste like CRAP. Cook
with crap and you end up with crap.
When you invite people over for dinner, they expect homemade food --
not "semi-homemade." If somebody served me a trifle made of Twinkies
and a pudding cup I'd think they had mental problems, and I'd never
accept an invitation from them again. (Which happened with a friend
who made spaghetti with catsup sauce.) If they prefaced the invitation
with something like, "I'm short on cash and time so I'm just going to
serve crap," it'd be cool -- that way I'd know to eat beforehand -- but
I'm guessing Sandra doesn't warn people about her cooking.
Ubiquitous
>Is this really the very very first super duper special show? The one with all
>the mistakes she made before becoming a polished cooking show hostess?
Yep, it all started here and went downblhill rather quickly.
Did you notice the first time she pronouced "extraordinary" as "Extra. Ordinary."?
What a dunce!
Bob Myers
<pl...@quentincrisp.com> wrote in message
news:1125066600.8...@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> > Sandra claims that her rum raspberry trifle that she made with
> > twinkies, rum + strawberry jam and a pudding cup "tastes like
> > scratch"
>
> See, that's the problem I have with Sandra, and to some degree with
> Rachael Ray:
>
> No matter how much you pretend, pudding cups taste like CRAP. Cook
> with crap and you end up with crap.
Well, she DID say they "taste like scratch." Now, I have observed
our cat, and I know exactly what box she's in when she does a
lot of scratching...
Bob M.
ANIM8Rfsk
wrote on 8/25/05 6:52 PM:
>
> "-L." <gent...@peacemail.com> wrote in message
> news:1124964164....@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
>>
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>> Some random notes from the very first ep which started it all:
>>>
>> <snip>
>>
>> Did it ever occur to you that anyone who WANTS to watch this show
>> already does? That we don't need your inane synopses?
>>
>> Just a thought.
>>
>> -L.
>>
>
> Here's a thought for you, "L"--
> Is someone holding a gun to your head and making you read these posts of
> Ubi's?
If not, they should be. Volunteers, anybody?
If you don't like them, then killfile the posts, or, hey, here's
> another thought...JUST SKIP OVER THEM. Many people here seem to enjoy them.
> Why should their fun be spoiled because you don't like it? You've stated
> your case, but it's just an opinion like everyone else's. Ubi is free to
> post, you are free to NOT READ THEM.
>
> Charlotte
> Former lurker who just had to say something, because it's NOT that big of a
> deal one way or the other.
>
>
--
You Can't Stop the Signal
Sheryl Rosen
I do agree that I would be embarrassed to serve company the types of dishes
that Sandra Lee comes up. Especially that "trifle" with the pudding cups.
Ick. But in fairness to her, I watched that show on Monday. The trifle was
NOT made from Twinkies--it was made from pound cake, and not even Sara Lee
poundcake, which isn't very good--It looked like it came in the sort of
plastic "bubble" container that one finds at the supermarket bakery. In
other words, it was a decent pound cake. It looked like a good pound cake,
anyway.
I liked the idea of that trifle...the raspberry sauce made from jam wouldn't
be bad, if it was a good jam. If it's a cheap store brand that's more corn
syrup than fruit, then no, it's not good. The addition of the rum is
nice--so far so good. The pudding cup ruined it for me. I would have gone
the extra effort of mixing up a package of Jello Vanilla Pudding--and maybe
put the rum in that rather than the jam sauce. But that's me.
Think about it--trifle basically IS semi-homemade, anyway. It was a way to
use up stale cake or lady fingers so they wouldn't go to waste. Soak the
stale cake in enough booze, jam and custard, no one will know they are
stale, ya know? Same as tiramisu.
And the apple-berry cobbler with the cookie dough crust--that actually
didn't look half bad.
But most of her recipes really do not impress me. She made some sort of
fruit salsa once, out of "tropical fruit cocktail" and I honestly would be
embarrassed to serve that.
The idea of "semi-homemade" is a good one. Taking advantage of some modern
conveniences to save time can have wonderful results. For example, I have
bought sliced roast beef (good quality) from the deli, and a jar of Heinz
gravy....sauteed onions, mushrooms and garlic in a pan, added a splash of
red wine, some herbs and seasonings....poured in the jar of gravy and served
that over the roast beef with nuked potatoes and a hot veggie..it's not what
I'd call "company" fare, but I wouldn't be embarrassed to serve it to
friends, either.
She just takes it a little bit too far by using inferior products in her
recipes---which, as they say, garbage in, garbage out.
--
---
Love like you've never been hurt
Live like there's no tomorrow
And dance like there's nobody watching
Goomba38
> The idea of "semi-homemade" is a good one. Taking advantage of some modern
> conveniences to save time can have wonderful results. For example, I have
> bought sliced roast beef (good quality) from the deli, and a jar of Heinz
> gravy....sauteed onions, mushrooms and garlic in a pan, added a splash of
> red wine, some herbs and seasonings....poured in the jar of gravy and served
> that over the roast beef with nuked potatoes and a hot veggie..it's not what
> I'd call "company" fare, but I wouldn't be embarrassed to serve it to
> friends, either.
>
> She just takes it a little bit too far by using inferior products in her
> recipes---which, as they say, garbage in, garbage out.
>
I have to fess up to once trying a quick gravy (sauce) recipe from the
Texas Beef Council to go with a large roast I fixed for a crowd. It was
great! I've never used jarred beef gravy before (or since, for that
matter) but this was delicious- http://www.txbeef.org/recipe.php3?975622981
As for Sandra, I think she's hit the bottom of the barrel and is
scratching her head to come up with something to throw on that show
sometimes. There is no other explanation for some of the odd ball crap
she attempts?
Goomba
pe...@my.home.com
>Learn to use your kill file if you don't want to see these. Personally,
>I find these "summaries" and many of the responses hysterically funny.
>it makes me want to actually watch just one episode to seee the bimbo
>in action. But....we don't have that network on our cable system here
>in Central America so I just read the summaries for my chuckle of the
>day.
>
>Sandi
The summaries are better if you've seen the episode being "critiqued."
pepsi
pe...@my.home.com
<catm...@optonline.net> wrote:
>I do agree that I would be embarrassed to serve company the types of dishes
>that Sandra Lee comes up. Especially that "trifle" with the pudding cups.
>Ick. But in fairness to her, I watched that show on Monday. The trifle was
>NOT made from Twinkies--it was made from pound cake, and not even Sara Lee
>poundcake, which isn't very good--It looked like it came in the sort of
>plastic "bubble" container that one finds at the supermarket bakery. In
>other words, it was a decent pound cake. It looked like a good pound cake,
>anyway.
>The idea of "semi-homemade" is a good one. Taking advantage of some modern
>conveniences to save time can have wonderful results. For example, I have
>bought sliced roast beef (good quality) from the deli, and a jar of Heinz
>gravy....sauteed onions, mushrooms and garlic in a pan, added a splash of
>red wine, some herbs and seasonings....poured in the jar of gravy and served
>that over the roast beef with nuked potatoes and a hot veggie..it's not what
>I'd call "company" fare, but I wouldn't be embarrassed to serve it to
>friends, either.
>
>She just takes it a little bit too far by using inferior products in her
>recipes---which, as they say, garbage in, garbage out.
My sister called me last night to tell me about her fantastic baby
back ribs and how she got the recipe from Sandra Lee. I remember that
episode, but I let her talk. She said basically you boil the ribs,
and then barbeque them with your favorite bbq sauce. She didn't have
enough sauce, so she had to added honey, brown sugar, some pureed
tomatoes, white pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Well, no
wonder they were good, she made her own sauce!
pepsi
Bob
> My sister called me last night to tell me about her fantastic baby
> back ribs and how she got the recipe from Sandra Lee. I remember that
> episode, but I let her talk. She said basically you boil the ribs,
> and then barbeque them with your favorite bbq sauce. She didn't have
> enough sauce, so she had to added honey, brown sugar, some pureed
> tomatoes, white pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Well, no
> wonder they were good, she made her own sauce!
Well, that and the fact that she boiled the ribs...
Bob
pe...@my.home.com
wrote:
So did Sandra. It was the one where they were falling off the bones
before she could even get them out of the pot.
pepsi
Sandi
That's a little hard to do since I don't live in the US or Canada.
FoodNetwork is not a television option in Central America.
Sandi
pe...@my.home.com
So, of all the food and cooking newsgroups, why the Food Network
newsgroup?
pepsi
pe...@my.home.com
Sorry, Sandi, I didn't realize this thread was also in more than one
newsgroup when I asked why you posted in the Food Network newsgroup
when you don't even get the channel. My mistake.
pepsi
Sandi
Not a problem. I post in rec.food.cooking. We do have our own version
of FoodNetwork though which is pretty cool. http://www.elgourmet.com/
It is on our cable system in Honduras but the shows themselves
originate in Argentina, Chile, etc.
Sandi
Ubiquitous
wrote:
>My sister called me last night to tell me about her fantastic baby
>back ribs and how she got the recipe from Sandra Lee. I remember that
>episode, but I let her talk. She said basically you boil the ribs,
>and then barbeque them with your favorite bbq sauce. She didn't have
>enough sauce, so she had to added honey, brown sugar, some pureed
>tomatoes, white pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Well, no
>wonder they were good, she made her own sauce!
I suspect that she didn't boil those ribs for three or four hours on high
boil, either.
pe...@my.home.com
wrote:
>In article <dccvg1dbada9ocve4...@4ax.com>, pe...@my.home.com
>wrote:
>
>>My sister called me last night to tell me about her fantastic baby
>>back ribs and how she got the recipe from Sandra Lee. I remember that
>>episode, but I let her talk. She said basically you boil the ribs,
>>and then barbeque them with your favorite bbq sauce. She didn't have
>>enough sauce, so she had to added honey, brown sugar, some pureed
>>tomatoes, white pepper, garlic powder and onion powder. Well, no
>>wonder they were good, she made her own sauce!
>
>I suspect that she didn't boil those ribs for three or four hours on high
>boil, either.
Well, you know, everything with Sandra Lee "only takes a few seconds".
pepsi
Ubiquitous
better banana pastry than theirs. Bitch!
Back at home, she tells us "It takes HOURS to make berry cobbler" (Oh
really?) and makes the first of many misuses of "literally" ("literally to
die from", "literally fell asleep in my plate", etc).
After gathering the ingredients for the cobbler, she tells us "These
ingrediants are easy to make yourself". Rum extract? Flour? Tubes of cookie
dough? easy to make yourself?
SLop shamelessly relates her first experience cooking with rum and how she
"almost" burned the house down. No WONDER she warns us all the time!