Food for thought.......

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Steve Kramer

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Oct 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/13/97
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There's these two French Legionnaires in the desert, and they've been
separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for
several days without food and water and are nearly resigned to the fact
that they will soon die from dehydration when, as they reach the top of
a sanddune, they see a big, bustling market laid out before them.

Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a mirage, but as
they draw closer, they can hear the stall holders' cries and they
eventually reach the market and realise that it's really there. So the
legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to the stall
holder, "Stall holder, we have been travelling in the desert for many
days, and have had no food or water. We shall surely die soon unless you
have some which you can sell us - tell us, do you have any sustenance
for us?"

The stall holder shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French
legionnaire-type people, but all I have to sell is a load of bowls full
of jelly, topped with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with
hundreds and thousands of multi coloured little sweet bits."

The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and move on to
the next stall, where they ask the stall holder, "Mr purveyor of fine
foodstuffs and the like, we have been travelling through the desert for
days, deprived of the necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are
required for survival. We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us
some skins of water."

The stall holder looked at them, embarrassed, and confessed, "Gentlemen,
tragic as I admit it is, I have none of the ingredients necessary to
life for which you ask me, all I have to sell is this large bowl of
jelly topped with custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds and
thousands of multi-coloured sweet bits, with a little cocktail cherry in
the middle at the top - there," he said, pointing out the glace cherry.
"I cannot help you.."

The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run on to the
next stall, where they demand of the stall holder, "Look mate,"(cos
they'd stopped talking funny all of a sudden) "we need water or we'll
die. We've been travelling without water for days and need some now. Do
you have any you can sell us?"

The stall holder looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he
confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl of jelly,
with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands of little multi-coloured
sweet bits. I can't help you. I'll have to condemn you to a long and
lingering death through dehydration."

The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they went
through the market, stall by stall, asking each stall holder whether
they had any water they could sell them, and thus save their lives, but
each stall holder gave the same reply, all they had to sell was a bowl
of jelly with cream, custard and hundreds and thousands of ulti-coloured
little sweet bits.

Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires left the
desert market and walked off into the setting sun. As they did so, one
turned to the other and said, "That was really odd - a big market in the
middle of nowhere, and all they sold was bowls of jelly with custard,
cream and hundreds and thousands of multi-coloured little sweet bits."

The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a
trifle bazaar."

--
"The real voyage of discovery is not in seeking new lands,
but in seeing with new eyes!"

David Kenning

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Oct 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/13/97
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> The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a
> trifle bazaar."

I can't believe I read all the way through this...

Anyway, here's another food joke, just as awful but a lot shorter:

Two potatoes, sitting on a shelf in the supermarket, waiting to be
bought. One says to the other:

"Are you a sweet potato?"

to which the other replied:

"I yam what I yam"

Luke & Alane Tentoni

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Oct 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/13/97
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Awwww! *slapping forehead & shaking head*

Alane ;-)
Steve Kramer wrote in message <34418D...@gol.com>...

>The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a
>trifle bazaar."
>
>
>
>
>

Luke & Alane Tentoni

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Oct 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/13/97
to

Oh, Boo! (that was actually pretty good!) Hey here's one semi-food
related -- at least it takes place in an eating/drinking
establishment ------

A string walks into a bar. He sits down, and the bartender says, "Hey, we
don't serve strings in here." So the string gets up and leaves. He goes
around the corner, ties a knot in his middle, unravels his top, and goes
back in the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you that string that was
in here a minute ago?" So the string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
(afraid not?)

I know, I know --- Boo! Boo!

Alane
David Kenning wrote in message <344295...@which.net>...


>> The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a
>> trifle bazaar."
>

art...@awod.com

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Oct 13, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/13/97
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In article <344295...@which.net>,

david....@which.net wrote:
>
> > The other turned to face his companion and replied,
"Yes, it was a
> > trifle bazaar."
>
> I can't believe I read all the way through this...
>
> Anyway, here's another food joke, just as awful but a lot
shorter:
>
> Two potatoes, sitting on a shelf in the supermarket,
waiting to be
> bought. One says to the other:
>
> "Are you a sweet potato?"
>
> to which the other replied:
>
> "I yam what I yam"

Hi,

Careful here, sweetpotatoes aren't called yams worldwide.
How about this:

"I root, there I yam?"

Cheers,

Arthur

e-mail: art...@awod.com
a sweetpotato sampler: all about "yams" and sweetpotatoes
http://www4.linknet.net/s_potato

-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet

Miche

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Oct 17, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/17/97
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In article <1997Oct17.153235@cantva>
Rat...@address.in.sig (Lyndon Watson) writes:

> In article <8767903...@dejanews.com>, art...@awod.com writes:
> > "I root, there I yam?"
>

> I am shocked, shocked, to see such language in our fair newsgroup. It's
> time to newsgroup rec.food.cooking.coarse and rec.food.cooking.refined.]

For those not familiar with Kiwi/Aussie slang, 'root' has a rather, er,
_different_ meaning here.

Miche


------------
Miche Campbell <*>
Captain of the Starship Yentaprise
These are not necessarily the opinions of the University of Otago
You say Chaos like it's a *bad* thing!
"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is
the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there
is more stupidity than hydrogen, and *that* is the basic building block
of the universe." --Frank Zappa

Lyndon Watson

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Oct 17, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/17/97
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In article <8767903...@dejanews.com>, art...@awod.com writes:
> "I root, there I yam?"

I am shocked, shocked, to see such language in our fair newsgroup. It's
time to newsgroup rec.food.cooking.coarse and rec.food.cooking.refined.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyndon Watson L.Wa...@csc.canterbury.ac.nz
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joel Ehrlich

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Oct 17, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/17/97
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In article <626msf$kdv$6...@celeborn.otago.ac.nz>, on 17 Oct 1997 03:43:11
GMT michelle...@stonebow.otago.ac.nz says...

>
>In article <1997Oct17.153235@cantva>
>Rat...@address.in.sig (Lyndon Watson) writes:
>
>> In article <8767903...@dejanews.com>, art...@awod.com writes:
>> > "I root, there I yam?"
>>
>> I am shocked, shocked, to see such language in our fair newsgroup.
It
>'s
>> time to newsgroup rec.food.cooking.coarse and
rec.food.cooking.refined
>.]
>
>For those not familiar with Kiwi/Aussie slang, 'root' has a rather, er,
>_different_ meaning here.
>
It has the same meaning here in Yankee land as well but far too many of
us have forgotten the roots of our language. More of us should root
around in the past of our language and expand our use of it.

Joel

0 0
|
\_/ who enjoyed writing that one.


art...@awod.com

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Oct 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/19/97
to

In article <1997Oct17.153235@cantva>,

Rat...@address.in.sig (Lyndon Watson) wrote:
>
> In article <8767903...@dejanews.com>,
art...@awod.com writes:
> > "I root, there I yam?"
>
> I am shocked, shocked, to see such language in our
fair newsgroup. It's
> time to newsgroup rec.food.cooking.coarse and
rec.food.cooking.refined.
>
>
----------------------------------------------------
--------------------
> Lyndon Watson
L.Wa...@csc.canterbury.ac.nz
>
----------------------------------------------------
--------------------

Hi,

Please don't take my response out of context. If you
included the full text
of the original posts (as is the acceptable
'Netiquette'), one will see
that my response is well within the context of the
thread. If I offended
anyone in the newsgroup, please accept my apologies.

Arthur
e-mail: art...@awod.com
a sweetpotato sampler:

Idlewild

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Oct 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/19/97
to

<art...@awod.com> wrote:

> Please don't take my response out of context. If you
> included the full text
> of the original posts (as is the acceptable
> 'Netiquette'), one will see
> that my response is well within the context of the
> thread. If I offended
> anyone in the newsgroup, please accept my apologies.

arthur, lyndon was just kidding. fear not, and keep posting!

-j.

--
"This note is so open to double entendre replies and flames, that you
really shouldn't bother replying." - Robert Methelis

Becca

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Oct 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/19/97
to

> Please don't take my response out of context. If you
> included the full text
> of the original posts (as is the acceptable
> 'Netiquette'), one will see
> that my response is well within the context of the
> thread. If I offended
> anyone in the newsgroup, please accept my apologies.
>
> Arthur
> e-mail: art...@awod.com
> a sweetpotato sampler:
> http://www4.linknet.net/s_potato

Not yet, but you could try a little harder next time.

Becca

Roger Books

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Oct 20, 1997, 3:00:00 AM10/20/97
to

In article <8772942...@dejanews.com>, art...@awod.com says...

>
>In article <1997Oct17.153235@cantva>,
> Rat...@address.in.sig (Lyndon Watson) wrote:
>>
>> In article <8767903...@dejanews.com>,
>art...@awod.com writes:
>> > "I root, there I yam?"
>>
>> I am shocked, shocked, to see such language in our
>fair newsgroup. It's
>> time to newsgroup rec.food.cooking.coarse and
>rec.food.cooking.refined.

>Please don't take my response out of context. If you included

>the full text of the original posts (as is the acceptable
>'Netiquette'), one will see that my response is well within
>the context of the thread. If I offended anyone in the
>newsgroup, please accept my apologies.

You were being complimented on your pun. Get a grip.

Roger


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