Ollie's Gems

[Thomas Joseph]

The baby boomers will invent a new way to be old. We
aren't going to take it like the last generation even if they
were the greatest. We will figure it out. Our gen invented
the personal computer, the hybrid car, and the 10 dollar
cup of coffee. We can surly figure out how to beat old age.
L et's start now. Put on that thinking cap, drop some LSD 25
and take a swig of that Colt 45 Large Boy.

Ollie

[Thomas Joseph]

I had been waiting for this day for a long time. Finally we were alone.
I pulled her to me. I unzipped her dress and she wiggled out of it as I
passionately kissed her. As her dress fell to the floor we fell on the bed.
I turned her over and grabbed her panties. That’s when I saw it. The
biggest, widest, darkest skidmark I had ever seen. I was in love.

Ollie

[Thomas Joseph]

You say that every so often a good mass murder can make one’s day.
I agree. I don't know why this one (the Aroura Colordado move theater
shooting), is so blase to me. I guess using automatic weapons is just
hack. Can't the mass killers come up with something original? Like
taking some tigers from the zoo, starving them, than letting them loose
on a crowd. Come on - we're Americans - we can do better than bullets.

[Judith Latham]

Ollie always has had a way with words. He's brief and to the point.

[Thomas Joseph]

Judith Latham wrote:


> Ollie always has had a way with words. He's brief and to the point.

You are correct. That is why I have decided to post some of his stuff here
at random. I have saved some of his 'gems' and put them in a file I call
"Ollie's Gems." Yes, Ollie does get to the point. But I'll take some credit
for it even though I am the opposite, a mindless rambler. I write stuff that
inspires his short responses. In turn some of his short responses inspire
me. We are in the inspirational business. Thanks for your input.

[Thomas Joseph]

Interplanetary sex? You need to get ready. Tentacle sex is the best.
And the aliens have plenty of holes to try out. On a human female you
got three but on an alien babe there may be hundreds. Each one offering
a unique and different experience. And the things those tentacles can do!
Plus the suckers on the tentacles. And the 4 mouths and 8 tongues. You
are in for a treat.

//////////////////

The first one they say is the hardest. Also the most exhilarating. I felt
I was prepared. I was going to be as professional as I could be. I would
move quickly. They wouldn't know what had hit them. That was the way
I was told to do it. With as little struggle as possible. Quick and quiet was
the motto. So here I was. Ready. Nervous as hell but not showing it.
Wondering how I would react to the sight of it. Before I could dwell further
it was in front of me. I quickly used my hammer and hit it in the head. It fell
convulsing. Quickly I took the razor sharp knife and slit the jugular. Blood
gushed like an orgasmic teenager. I was covered. It was warm, almost hot.
I was getting an erection. Before I could savor it another one stood in front
of me. ... My first day on the job at the Hormel Plant.

//////////////////

[André Malraux]

And the rabbits were complaining that your dad was getting into their
territory.

[Thomas]

3? Count the ways.

[André Malraux]

On Sunday, May 29, 2022 at 2:12:12 AM UTC-5, jazee...@gmail.com wrote:

I don't remember when I didn't fondle my penis.

I still do, every chance I get.

My first memory is of sitting in my highchair at the dining-room table with no pants on, fondling my penis.

Apparently, I had wet all my pants and they were in the washer.

My father was yelling at me to "Stop that."

I had no idea what he was talking about, so I kept right on fondling myself.

He then said that if I didn't stop, he would throw his water at me.

I didn't stop, since I didn't know what he was talking about, so he threw his water at me.

[Thomas Joseph]

I don't get it.