Spirit of Cross Stitch Festivals
Donna Martin
I've been away for several weeks, so pardon me if this has already
been discussed. I got the class list yesterday for SOXS, and was
thrilled until I opened it. Where are all the teachers??? No CA
Wells, no Merry Cox, no Marsha Brown..... Does anyone know what is
going on? I was also really unhappy to see how few of the classes are
actually cross stitch. Maybe they should change the name to Spirit of
Bobbin Lace, Tatting, Ribbon Embroidery. I heard a lot of grumbling
about this last year, and this year, with the absence of the favorite
teachers, it seems to be worse. I've gone to festival for 7 of the
past 8 years, but I'm feeling better about missing it this year after
seeing the lack of wonderful teachers.
Donna
IMA369
I heard that CA Wells did not show up last year, thus leaving a lot of
stitchers high and dry. I don't know about the others.
Corporate Information Systems
I too go to the festival - in Valley Forge. The convention center gets
worse every year. Last year it was steaming hot, crowded and the food line
was a disgrace. Why don't they move the festival to a convention center
that can accomodate the crowd? Baltimore has a very new and large
convention center with air conditioning that works and plenty of restrooms
for the women without us having to use the men's rooms.
Teresa
April Boone
Hi! I know why C.A. Wells did not show up for the Spirit of Cross
Stitch....I certainly wouldn't work for free, would you? These teachers
submit proposals for fabulous projects, commit to teach and then gather kit
materials for these projects. They travel (sometimes great distances) to
do something they truly love. My mom always told me "love is grand, but it
don't pay the bills..." These teachers depend on being paid to cover their
travel expenses, kit materials and to make a living if they can. Please do
not blame C.A. Wells for not showing up. I can assure you that this type
of situation had been on-going for some time. I really liked the note in
the 1998 Spirit class registration mailing where it was stated on page 16
that their roster of teachers changes from one year, losing teachers due to
their own personal and professional choices....I certainly would not choose
not to be paid for the work that I do. I am positive that C.A. wanted to
cover her expenses and absolutely would not work for free. I can't say
that I blame her.
April
IMA369 <ima...@aol.com> wrote in article
<19980220015...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...
Karen Gorman
In article <01bd3e01$afeee3c0$a427...@tharp.arinc.com>,
I haven't been to the VF Convention Center or to the festival, even
though I live and work 15 mins away. (I gotta get out more!)
What about that brand-spanking new Convention Center in Center City
Philadelphia? It's a really nice building, and it's right next to
the Reading Terminal Market and the Gallery Mall. Very accessible
via public transportation (train, bus, and trolley). And air-
conditioned! :)
Is there a website with a feedback option? Maybe I'll send SOXS
this suggestion.
-Karen in SE Pennsylvania
--
gor...@magpage.com
Heather Lott
The website URL is http://www.spiritofcrossstitch.com (note--*3* s's)
and there is a "Contact Us" option. They are always very fast and
courteous to reply.
-Heather Lott
heathe...@mailexcite.com
Karen Gorman wrote:
<snip>
Liz Herman/cozit
Karen Gorman wrote:
> In article <01bd3e01$afeee3c0$a427...@tharp.arinc.com>,
> Corporate Information Systems <th...@arinc.com> wrote:
> >I too go to the festival - in Valley Forge. The convention center
> gets
> >worse every year. Last year it was steaming hot, crowded and the
> food line
> >was a disgrace. Why don't they move the festival to a convention
> center
> >that can accomodate the crowd? Baltimore has a very new and large
> >convention center with air conditioning that works and plenty of
> restrooms
> >for the women without us having to use the men's rooms.
> >
Gee...I guess it really depends on when you go to the merchant mall.
The *first* time I went last year (yes, VF, sorry don't remember which
day) it was hot, crowded, and annoying. The *second* time, it wasn't
very crowded, and the temperature was fine. They didn't even have *any*
of the extra fans that they had around on. I guess a lot depends on
when you go.
OTOH, I also went to the Sacremento SOCS last year too. It was more
comfortable crowd and temperature wise, but there were fewer booths and
there weren't as many people there. Once again, this *might* have been
because of the time and day I was there (it was close to the end of the
day this time).
Anyway, the great thing for me for VF is that I get to visit my
relatives, stay free, no parking charges, and babysitting is free
(relatives). Baltimore would also be free...but 1) better hope there
isn't a baseball game at the same time at Camden Yards (they're right
next door...and I'm not convinced there's really enough parking around
for both) and 2) There's no such thing as free parking (I think it's
more than $1 an hour even at the meters...7 days a week, 24 hours a day)
and 3) There are hotels in Baltimore, but everything in the immediate
area is fairly expensive, and being in the middle of the city, you'd
either have to drive into the city or take light rail (stop is right
there) if you can find a motel that is right by the line.
Personally, I think that the transportation and parking situation at VF
is much easier (especially with shuttles put on for the obvious
places). And BTW, the Mall at King of Prussia (The Court and the Plaza
combined) is now the mall with the largest number of stores in the
world. Yup, that thing out west is bigger, but it doesn't have as many
stores. If there's any stash money left over, it's a fun place to at
least window shop :-)
-Liz Herman
Donna Martin
On 20 Feb 1998 01:53:08 GMT, ima...@aol.com (IMA369) wrote:
>I heard that CA Wells did not show up last year, thus leaving a lot of
>stitchers high and dry. I don't know about the others.
Um.....this may have been true at some of the festival sites, but I
was in Knoxville, and I assure you that CA did show up there. She
even spoke at the first night information seminar that Jean Farish
hosted to announce the tv show. I didn't mean to start something
slamming SOXS, but I was hoping someone would know why the more
advanced teachers had not appeared on the roster.
marie kozak
Hi-I just have to add one thing here.....CA Wells did the same thing to a
Sampler Gathering in 1996. I was one of the unfortunate losers in that
one. I have a sampler sitting in my stash pile which I probably will never
do cause I really was'nt interested in it....but I had to pick a
substitution in place of the CA Wells absenteeism. So, SOX has nothing to
do with it . I am not too sure that you have read the roster of the SOX
teachers lately......there are some fabulous and well known teachers that
are on the schedule...please read it.-Marie
Kandy and Joe Fling
Karen Gorman <gor...@magpage.com> wrote in article
<6ckbj7$ddc$0...@204.179.92.50>...
> I haven't been to the VF Convention Center or to the festival, even
> though I live and work 15 mins away. (I gotta get out more!)
>
> What about that brand-spanking new Convention Center in Center City
> Philadelphia? It's a really nice building, and it's right next to
> the Reading Terminal Market and the Gallery Mall. Very accessible
> via public transportation (train, bus, and trolley). And air-
> conditioned! :)
> (snip)
Actually, Karen, that idea was raised at the "Catch the Spirit" talk last
year (I had the same thought having been to several wonderful things there
and the classes could be in the same building!). The answer from Jean was
that they avoid the big, expensive cities, both to avoid the higher
convention center costs (which would mean higher class and Merchandise Mall
fees) and the higher hotel room costs. (Also, did you go to the Flower
Show or the Book and the Cook fair last year? a) the exhibition area of the
Convention Center is HUGE and b) it was hot and crowded there too.) I
suggested Columbus -- DH and I went to a gaming convention there (where I
think there were more people than I saw at SOXS) -- It's a lovely new, big
center, with lots of classrooms available and several hotels nearby of
various prices. Of course, I hope they don't go there because I live near
VF and Columbus would mean a hotel (less S.E.X. and class money) -- but it
would be a nice venue!
--
Kandy in Pennsylvania
"Noel" on #Stitch
dafl...@snip.net (for Personal mail, please put "Kandy" in subject)
Liz Reen
In article <01bd3e01$afeee3c0$a427...@tharp.arinc.com>, th...@arinc.com says...
> I too go to the festival - in Valley Forge. The convention center gets
> worse every year. Last year it was steaming hot, crowded and the food line
> was a disgrace. Why don't they move the festival to a convention center
> that can accomodate the crowd? Baltimore has a very new and large
> convention center with air conditioning that works and plenty of restrooms
> for the women without us having to use the men's rooms.
>
>
Events like SOXS are planned years in advance. Convention centers are usually
booked that far in advance. It takes awhile to make changes.
Liz
--
Headers are anti spam!! My real address is Lizr at aol dot com.
Suzy Beth
:I feel so fortunate to be able to go to SOCS in Des Moines - only 60
:miles from my house! The convention center is nice and even when it
:gets crowded it isn't bad. I usually go on both Saturday and Sunday.
:My only complaint - no strollers allowed! This is supposedly for safety
:reasons (don't want people to fall over them) but (now I'm not trying to
:offend anyone) I find those automatic wheelchairs, etc. to be as much as
:a hazard as stollers. Last year I ended up having to carry 2 children (a
:7 month old in a backpack carrier and a tired 4 yr. old in my arms).
:
:Anne L.
:
I totally agree. I will be attending the Ontario, CA 1998 SOXS Festival in
the fall and I will be severely hampered with my 18 month old on my back
instead of in a stroller. I will tire much more quickly, and therefore will
likely leave much sooner and therefore spend much less. Wish strollers were
allowed.
SB
Annasplace
Anne stated:
>Last year I ended up having to carry 2 children (a
>7 month old in a backpack carrier and a tired 4 yr. old in my arms).
Poor Anne!!! How could you shop! I think you should make plans to leave your
kids with someone else while you shop. You will have more fun and so will
they. When my children were young, I didn't live near relatives, so I did a
lot of trading off with friends. (They would keep mine, I would keep theirs.)
It really worked and it was cheap!! Start making someone obligated to you
today! <g> ( I hope you know this is said all in good fun.)
Anna Lynn
IMA369
I agree about the strollers. Not everyone has someone to leave their children
with. I don't think stollers are as much of a hazard as toddlers running
around. This is not safe for them either. In today's society, it's dangerous
for many reasons. I don't have an answer, but it deserves debate.
Teresa
Reading all these posts about the problems of stitchers who bring young
children to the MM at SOCS reminded me of somethings I saw at VF two
years ago. He was the greatest DH ever.
At the end of one of the mall rows was a chair. Sitting in it, amusing a
baby, was a young father. Everytime I passed that point in the mall- he
was still there- about 3 hours. What a guy!!!!!!
Teresa/LadyDoc
Williams
Having my asbestos suit, with it's
hand-stitched designwork, already on, I'm
gonna put in my 2 cents. (Don't think that
adding the Hardanger work across the seat was
such a good idea !!)
Speaking as a mother of 3, who are already
grown, but not so old that I've gotten senile
and forgotten what it's like to deal with
toddlers -- I would never take 2 little ones
into the Festival, or any extremely crowded
area, for many reasons.
It would be a boring day for them, causing
them to cry, and whine. No one else wants to
spend their day listening to someone else's
kids hollaring and carrying on.
Strollers in crowds can be dangerous, both to
other shoppers (most aren't watching where
their feet are -- they're looking at the
displays; that's why they've come there) and
to the wee ones. I got poked in the
backside countless times while there, by
other people's packages, handbags, totes,
etc. But my broad padded butt can handle it
better than a toddler's face.
How long can you enjoy yourself with a
toddler on your back or in your arms? If I
remember correctly, mine seemed to gain about
5 extra lbs for every 1/2 hour I carried
them. You want the freedom and the strength
to carry your stash, don't you?
Arrange for a sitter for the day. I realize
that sitters are expensive, and this cuts
into the S.E.X. money -- so make a deal with
a friend/neighbor/relative to trade services
(I'll watch your kids for a day if you'll
watch mine so I can attend SOXS) Did that
sort of thing many times when mine were
little. And you deserve a day to yourself,
or a day spent with another adult fellow
stitcher. Where you can look, ooh and aaah
over everything, wander freely for as long as
you want -- without having to worry about
sticky fingers, potty stops, feeding
schedules, missed naps. Most of us don't
take the time, for ourselves, often enough.
And we should, darn it.
So -- for everyone's sake, the kids are
probably better off left at home.
Pat W
(Am snipping almost all of the previous
message that brought this subject up, so my
thoughts won't appear to be directed at
anyone in particular. They are my own, based
on my own experiences with my kids, now ages
27, 18 and 17, and almost 30 years of
observing others)
Suzy Beth
Williams wrote in message <6d6nvj$nu6$1...@news.dmv.com>...
:Having my asbestos suit, with it's
:
:
Well, I have decided to leave all four children at home and go to SOXS sans
family (children fuss when bored, and vdh fusses when he sees how much I
spend!!!) One question: I've never been to a SOXS before, should one go
all the days? I was planning to just go on one, which one is best? I am
not signed up for any classes, though. Are there classes/seminars to see
unplanned? Thanks!
SuzyBeth
@pica.army.mil Lucinda
At the (now no longer) Saratoga SOCS they has a couple of
round tables with stuff on it to keep children amused. I
thought that was agreat idea.
If I was to pick a site, it would be Saratoga. But it is
not an option anymore (*sniff!). It was much less busy and
held in a much more beautiful place than Valley Forge. But
I guess the problem _was_ that it was much less busy.
If I was to give people advice on the SOCS festival, I
would say bring a bottle of water, wear very comfortable
and supportive shoes, bring a big shopping tote you can
sling across your chest (leaving your arms free), dress in
layers and leave your children home! If the other
locations are like VF it will be far too noisy, frenetic
and hot for them! Also, the least busy MM day has
consistently been Sunday. I try to schedule my classes for
Fri and Sat, and shop on Sun.
Lucinda
--
lrasmuss @ pica army mil
Teresa <tc...@philly.infi.net> wrote in article
<34F670...@philly.infi.net>...
Marianne T.
I agree with Lucinda's comments about SOCS; however I find that if I
wait until Sunday many things are sold out at the Merchandise Mall.
Have others found this to be the case in other locations? I have
attended the Sacramento festival every year it's been held there.
Looking forward to the festival in Ontario this year.
Happy Stitching!!
Marianne T.
Lucinda <lrasmuss @ pica. army. mil> wrote in article
<01bd43b2$8319fcc0$249c...@stitcher.pica.army.mil>...
Marianne T.
Well said, Pat!!!!!! Especially the part about our not taking time for
ourselves and trading babysitting for this event!!!
Hope everyone who needs one can find a sitter. Start asking now for any
of the festivals.
Marianne T.
Williams <spa...@dmv.com> wrote in article
ChellyC
I don't have kids so I'll refrain from commenting about them at the festival.
But as to which days are the best shopping days, I've found that Friday is
great because a lot of people just come down for the weekend and don't take
Friday off which leaves the mall just perfect for shopping. The other day is
Sunday afternoon. I realize that some people might be out of what you want but
almost every booth at the festival will mail the item to you WITHOUT charging
you shipping charges. It's kind of great to go home and still be getting stuff
for the next two weeks that's ALREADY PAID FOR.
Just my two cents.
Chelly
McH1inVA
I've seen reference in the past to SOCS. Sounds interesting. Is there an
on-line site for this? I'd never heard of it before venturing into RCTN.
Helen
Mike & June Huber
Williams wrote:
>
> Having my asbestos suit, with it's
> hand-stitched designwork, already on, I'm
> gonna put in my 2 cents. (Don't think that
> adding the Hardanger work across the seat was
> such a good idea !!)
kids don't do well at shows like SOXS>
> probably better off left at home.
>
> Pat W
>
my flame-proof suit and stand at your side in total agreement. When my
kids were too young to stay home by themselves, I found a sitter or
didn't go. The no-stroller rule has my approval.
June in Houston
Bern
In April I am going to England and will be
attending the needlecraft show at Olympia. (Can't
wait - it has been so long since I have been to a
needlecraft show!!!!) DS, who will be 8 mo is
_not_ invited! This is _my_ day, not his! His
father can have him for the day! Needlecraft
shows are not the place for children. In
Melbourne I more than had my fill of avoiding
chaffed ankles and shins from prams and strollers
and have no intention of inflicting this curse on
anyone else. So anyone who feels that children do
not belong at needlecraft shows have my full
support.
Bern
Bohdan & Rocksolana Halibey
AChrist787
I have to add my support to the no strollers rule and frankly I wish people
would live the little ones and the middle sized ones at home. If your child
stitches, fine, but otherwise, the aisles in these places are generally small
and very often extremely crowded. Kids get bored and wander and a lot of
parents simply to not pay attention to their kids. It makes it difficult for
everyone around.
Anne
Anne Christopherson
"Old roses are full of instructions on how to live right."
D. Swanson
I'm green with envy, In Portland, Oregon we don't get the Spirit of Cross
Stitch Festivals, the closest one is in Sacramento California. I wish you
all would send one out this way!!
I know I'm missing something wonderful! I know my Visa company would be
extremely happy if one would come to the northwest :-)
Donna in Portland, Oregon
Don Merusi
Suzy Beth -- There are classes called Make-It, Take-It's that are taught every
2 hours in the merchandise mall (or in the near vicinity). These are classes
that can be learned in 1hr. and 45 minutes and kits include all supplies to
make the project from beginning to end the great part is that no class is more
than $10.00!! These classes are very informal with people walking by seeing
what you are doing and asking if they can join in. In my case, I teach 40 ct.
petit-point on silk gauze. The lighting is not always the best for this tiny
work therefore I'm not offended if people sit down, learn the stitch, try it a
few times and then leave so that they can stitch it when they have the proper
light and magnification. I've had many students come back to me at the end of
the show and show me their completed projects!! All kinds of classes are taught
silk ribbon embroidery, ornaments, any kind of small project. It's lots of fun
for everyone, both students and teachers. :-)
Jodi Merusi
http://www.tiac.net/users/ctneedle
Suzy Beth wrote:
> Williams wrote in message <6d6nvj$nu6$1...@news.dmv.com>...
> :Having my asbestos suit, with it's
> :hand-stitched designwork, already on, I'm
> :gonna put in my 2 cents. (Don't think that
> :adding the Hardanger work across the seat was
> :such a good idea !!)
> :
> :Speaking as a mother of 3, who are already
> :
> :So -- for everyone's sake, the kids are
> :probably better off left at home.
> :
> :Pat W
> :
> :(Am snipping almost all of the previous
> :message that brought this subject up, so my
> :thoughts won't appear to be directed at
> :anyone in particular. They are my own, based
> :on my own experiences with my kids, now ages
> :27, 18 and 17, and almost 30 years of
> :observing others)
> :
> :Last year I ended up having to carry 2
> :children (a 7 month old in a backpack carrier
> :and a tired 4 yr. old in my arms).
Farleyaw
I think it would be a great idea if the SOCS people would provide a "kiddie
corner" where you could leave your child for a small fee. The "corner" could
right there in the corner of the convention center so you could always see
your kid.
As far as the stroller rule goes; I'm all for it. NO STROLLERS!!!! Baby
backpacks are OK. They don't take up much space, plus a kid small enough to
fit in one won't usually cause much trouble. I can perfectly understand that
for many of you babysitting is a real problem but what about the rest of us?
That place is so crammed a stroller really is a safety hazard. Someone could
trip over it or tip it over, plus it takes up way too much room. We all came
to see the event not your kid. I really resent having to climb over strollers.
That is not fair. Having a kid is a concious decision and you hopefully
realize that you're going to have to give up or slow down some activities in
your life for awhile 'til the child gets old enough. If you have the money to
attend the event then you have the money to get a babysitter. Just buy a few
less charts. The last SOCS event I went to by the end of the day I had had it
with these silly mothers who insisted on dragging their kids all day through
the place. The kids were miserable and letting everyone else know it. I
finally politely told one mother to take her kids out of the place 'cause the
rest of us were fed up. I thought one woman was going to smack a kid!
We recently had a HUGE discussion about this topic and many opinions were
expressed but I say, " No strollers!!!" and if you just *have to* bring your
kid(s) then please remove your child as soon as the kid starts to get out of
hand....not after he/they have been screaming and tearing up the place! Bring
a friend and trade babysitting duties. OK, enough ranting :)
Your Friend, Anne-who's quackin' like a duck in "sunny" California
D. Swanson
I was talking to my husband about the Spirit of Cross Stitch Festivals not
allowing strollers. (Which I am in favor of). He said also it would be a
great way for people to shoplift. Which was something I hadn't thought of.
Donna in Portland, Oregon
Donna Martin
On Fri, 27 Feb 1998 11:38:11 -0700, "Suzy Beth" <rootf...@msn.com>
wrote:
>Well, I have decided to leave all four children at home and go to SOXS sans
>family (children fuss when bored, and vdh fusses when he sees how much I
>spend!!!) One question: I've never been to a SOXS before, should one go
>all the days? I was planning to just go on one, which one is best? I am
>not signed up for any classes, though. Are there classes/seminars to see
>unplanned? Thanks!
>
>SuzyBeth
I assume you live nearby; does this mean that you could go more than
once?? If so, I would strongly advise you to go the very first day,
which is before the opening of the Merchandise Mart, and see what
classes they still have available. THey usually post them on a board,
sometimes with the example of what's being taught, and last year they
had the video going so that you could see all the projects. This is
the best thing to do if you want a class or two, because once people
start showing up, they go quickly.
I would definately go to the very first day of the merchandise mart.
Get there when it opens, and plan to make a day of it. I have always
spent hours there, and went back everyday, and always found something
I had somehow missed on the previous days. It is a wonderful
experience if you love to shop for needlework! Do take some water and
a big tote bag, and I would advise putting my $$ in a fanny pack so
you have your hands free. I hate to say this, but be careful, as I
had someone take money from my purse year before last. That's when I
switched to the fanny pack.
Shop for me; I don't think I'll be back from Australia in time to do
any SOXS this year, but you never know. I love the Des Moines Soxs,
by the way, because it happens right after Market in September, and
they seem to have lots of extra goodies! You're going to love it!
Donna
pat foley
I'm sure this is very politically incorrect, but I'll say it anyway.
Strollers don't belong at Spirit. The booths generally can't even hold
the shoppers trying to get in, much less accomodate strollers. The
merchandise is pretty tightly packed and it is hard to look through it
even with two hands free. It can be almost impossible to move around.
During crowded periods people are packed like sardines and inch their
way through the booths very, very slowly. The logistics are already
impossible. It simply isn't a place for strollers.
In fact, not only do strollers not belong at Spirit, but small children
don't belong there either. The booths are temporary and aren't all
that sturdy. One good kick or yank from an unattended toddler could
bring a loaded display down. Items and tiny bead packs, charms, floss
and other things are hung just at arms reach for sticky hands. This is
a needlework fair, the place is rife with scissors and needles and
other sharp things, extension cords and dazor lamps, models and
needlework frames and things that are just awkward to navigate around.
Far too many things could be dangerous for a child to swallow. Its
unfair to the retailers and other customers to have kids handling the
merchandize, but since everyone is jammed right up against it in those
tiny booths, it's pretty hard to keep the kids away from it. If the
mother is shopping herself, she can't possibly be watching the kid at
the same time. The retailers manning the booths are unbelievably
swamped with customers, and don't have time to look out for kids
either. I can't imagine anyone bringing a small child into this
environment. Unless you had your eyes or your hands on them every
moment, a child could easily get separated from you or even trampled.
It can be hard to see your feet, and people are lugging project bags,
shopping bags and so on, bumping into everyone and obscuring everyone's
vision. You can turn around and lose an adult companion, much less a
small child.
There are times when the mart is less croweded (I remember Winston
Salem during the blizzard) but in general the people who attend the
mart are doing some hard shopping and trying to get it all done and see
everything in a very limited time, with thousands of other people doing
the same thing and a very few people trying to help them, run the cash
registers, answer thousands of questions and hande special orders for
people that don't have needlecraft shops in their areas or can't get
the items at home and may only have a day or two at Spirit to get it
done. Even if you are never separated from your child the other 364
days of the year, this is the day to get a sitter.
Pat
In <19980226185...@ladder02.news.aol.com> ima...@aol.com
Go4bis4
>In fact, not only do strollers not belong at Spirit, but small children
>don't belong there either. The
Pat:
AMEN!!!!!!
Give me the CHOCOLATE & no one gets hurt
X/USA/H+++/Y45/X44/Y42/X41/x24/x22/y17/y16/y16/MLI Earthdancer/Mira Snowy Days/
XECrK/#28#32EL/FSO/M/B/b/R?/S/Kc/E/+/L/GNG/C/J+/Paul,Eastwood/Michener,ZGrey/
EthelM,Godiva
Hobbit68
Okay, here I go, ready to be flamed totally out of the group, but this thread
has just pushed me to the point where I have to do it anyway.
First, let me say that I agree with the no strollers rule, and I agree that
it is ideal to be able to get a sitter and treat oneself to the day alone.
With that said, I have to express my discomfort with this entire "we don't
want your kids here" attitude. Someone else's child crying or hollering is
that person's business, and he or she could probably use an understanding
"we've all been there" or a generous dose of being ignored much more than
irritated glares and comments about removing the child.
When I had to take my daughter with me (and I had to, no explanations
required) I knew it was my responsibility to keep her close to me out from
under other people's feet and keep her hands off EVERYTHING. It can be done.
I knew my shopping time would be less and I would have to leave with her when
she needed me to. That's being a parent.
And if you think the mm at SOXS is crowded, you should try the streets of
Tokyo with a 14 month old. The difference there is societal -- there seemed to
me to be no selfish pushing and shoving and trampling, but a cooperative
spirit of co-existence which goes a long way. If only we could find some of
that! (wish, wish).
Okay. End of my rant. I don't want to trip over children either, but they
are not possessions, and they have a right to be there.
Joy
AChrist787
Joy,
If everyone felt like you and controlled their kids when they took them out, we
wouldn't even be discussing this. However, people do take their kids and a
vast number of them don't control them. This makes it extremely difficult for
everyone around. I think it's the same old story, it only takes one to spoil
it for everyone.
D. Swanson
Rest assured I won't Flame you, You have a right to express your opinion
just like the rest of us!
Since this issue is basically about expressing yourself on the issue of
strollers allowed at the festival. Flaming shouldn't be done!
Hobbit68 wrote in message <19980302131...@ladder02.news.aol.com>...
Bonnie Keating
I cut out all of the preceeding text....I don't want to start an argument,
but I see this thread every year around SOXS time and say nothing. This
year I thought it was time to give another point of view. I have gone to
SOXS Des Moines every year and my daughter (3 now) has gone every year with
me. I spend 4-5 days there, so this is not a one-day trip by any means.
The first year she was 5 months old and I had no choice. I was nursing
full-time and she either went with or I didn't go. So yes, my husband and I
did the back-pack thing so I could share the mall with my husband. It
worked fine. And we have done it every year since without any major
problems.
Yes, I could leave her at home now, but I enjoy sharing my hobby with my
husband and so that means she has to come with too. We stay in a larger
room at a hotel with a pool and my husband and her do the zoo and other
things while I am at classes. And we do the merchandise mall on Friday
and late on Saturday. If she is crabby he takes her out for awhile and
may or may not come back in later, but even at three she likes to look
sometimes too. The no stroller rule is not an issue - you adapt. And I
don't think she's ever been a nuisance to anyone.
And yes, this year there will hopefully be another one to take too and we
will do SOXS with two kids. It can be done and its not unfair to the kids
if you plan it out and are flexible. Sometimes I spend more time in the
mall alone than I'd like, but I make mental notes and show my husband things
at some other time when my daughter is more open to the idea.
So before you go and say kids should stay at home.....maybe they should
sometimes, but this Mom brings hers (and her husband) and it can work.
Bonnie
Go4bis4
>It's a 2 way street, people - kids aren't the only ones who can spoil
someone's day out.
Hi Anne L:
Your point is well taken, but you must realize that most children in this day
and age a permitted to run rampant though public places.
When I see a mother with well behaved children, I make a point to compliment
her on the children. I must admit it doesn't happen very often!!!
Back to the Festivals, It is MHB that use less the aisles are wide enough to
handle strollers & wheel chairs or the people who run the festivals make
arrangements for special areas for them , I
guess we all will have to put up with each others problems.
Also I will continue to tell children to behave and have their mothers glare at
me.
BettyO waiting to be flamed.
Pat
I just wanted to agree to Bonnie. I have always taken by son everywhere
with us. He has been to Flower shows, Xstitch events, Country Crafts
shows, and Antique shows. My husband and I have taught my son to behave
and not to touch things. Now my son who just became a teenager, loves art,
flowers, he into designing furniture and other items. Also he has a
apprecation for antiques
and he loves to do xstitch. (of course, he would never admit it to his
friends.) He also likes to go to my friend's Xstitch shop with me.
As for SOXS, I usually go on Friday's, because the traffic is lighter.
Happy Stitching,
Pat
pat foley
I don't want to trip over children either, but
>they
>>are not possessions, and they have a right to be there.
>> Joy
>
>
Actually, the people who have a right to be there are those that paid
for the privilege -- that is those over 12 years old. The merchandize
mall is just that -- a place where vendors, at great expense to
themselves, come to sell goods to those who can pay for them, and who
paid for the priviledge of getting in to buy them.
Pat
Chris Braun
I find the merchandise mall so claustrophobic and uncomfortable and
hot that I only tolerate it (and only for short periods) because of my
extreme interest in the merchandise. If I'd been forced, as a child,
to accompany a parent in this place, I'd have been in agony!
(Actually, I'd probably also have been quite frightened.) Those of
you who would like to bring children, please try to put yourselves in
their places. Unless your child is old enough to enjoy the experience
with you, please don't make him/her come! If you do insist on it, try
for the least crowded times, limit your shopping, and take frequent
breaks.
I guess if someone wants to they can accuse me of being anti-child,
but this is far from the truth. As far as strollers go, I see little
difference between being slammed into and pushed aside by strollers or
by humans, so they don't make a big difference in my comfort. But I
think this is a very uncomfortable and dangerous environment for
little folks, with nothing to interest them in compensation for their
suffering. They're likely to spend half the time with shopping bags
in their faces! Please think of them. (By the way, I'm skeptical of
"joy of togetherness" reasoning. I don't think this is likely to be
"quality time" for the child.)
Chris (not resisting the soapbox this evening)
Trish Lavis
My son is like yours and has been everywhere with me as you describe (to the
point where friends often thought he was my *brother*, not my son!) His XS work
is *much* nicer than mine and he knits beautifully. I can't help boasting about
the darling little matinee set he designed for his premmie baby sister. It fits
a 14" doll and has garlands of perfect bullion roses decorating it.
However, my DD is another child! She is much more tactile than Matt ever was
and, in spite of an obvious desire to be a good girl, can't help herself from
'feeling' things that look attractive. Remember the old chestnut about stranded
cottons (which are irresistible to *us*, never mind kids) being hung at exactly
stroller-level? In addition, she tires very easily and gets fractious. I don't
believe it's fair to subject my child to my shopping whims, so I always try to
take her home when she gets weary. While I agree that no child can learn to
behave in public if kept strictly at home, I don't think a 'special' occasion
like SOXS is the place to hold these lessons.
Just MHO...
Trish {|:-}
Nan
Bonnie,
It sounds to me as if you're one of the very few who take their children
with them in all the right ways. You're keeping your daughter safe, from
strangers and from merchandise. You're keeping the merchandise safe.
You're having a good time with your family and making sure you are
enjoying your own hobby/craft/art, too. You and your family are getting
in no one's way, and putting no one in your daughter's way, either.
You are sharing the responsibilities with another person--the best
person, IMHO!--so that all three of you are able to enjoy the occasion
in the best ways to the greatest possible extent. You are ready and able
to respond to your daughter's needs, which don't match the grownups'
needs, in appropriate ways so that neither she nor the others attending
the mall are causing problems for each other.
In other words, your family the rare exception to the norm. It seems to
be working out perfectly for you and for the rest of the people, and I
can't see any reason for you to change anything, keep her away from
SOXS, or stay away yourself. You and your family are *not* part of the
problem that the posters are complaining about! If everybody worked with
their children as effectively as you and your DH do, nobody would be
complaining about kids at SOXS.
Congratulations, and long may you wave. More power to you!
Nan
--
Nan
Laugh before you are happy because otherwise you might die before having
laughed. --Jean de La Bruyere.
Too much reading hinders knowledge. We think we know what we have read,
and consider ourselves excused from learning it. --Rousseau
Karen T
I always assumed places like this that didn't allow strollers were
finding a "nice" way of discouraging children, period.
No flames, please. I have a 4 yr old myself.
Karen
On Thu, 26 Feb 1998 10:51:10 -0600, Anne Long <al...@iastate.edu>
wrote:
>I feel so fortunate to be able to go to SOCS in Des Moines - only 60
>miles from my house! The convention center is nice and even when it
>gets crowded it isn't bad. I usually go on both Saturday and Sunday.
>My only complaint - no strollers allowed! This is supposedly for safety
>reasons (don't want people to fall over them) but (now I'm not trying to
>offend anyone) I find those automatic wheelchairs, etc. to be as much as
>a hazard as stollers. Last year I ended up having to carry 2 children (a
>7 month old in a backpack carrier and a tired 4 yr. old in my arms).
>
>Anne L.
>
>Corporate Information Systems wrote:
>>
>> I too go to the festival - in Valley Forge. The convention center gets
>> worse every year. Last year it was steaming hot, crowded and the food line
>> was a disgrace. Why don't they move the festival to a convention center
>> that can accomodate the crowd? Baltimore has a very new and large
>> convention center with air conditioning that works and plenty of restrooms
>> for the women without us having to use the men's rooms.
>>
>> Teresa
wal...@midwest.net
I've been reading this thread with interest because I'm facing having
a baby/toddler/child with me when I shop. My own kids are 17 and 22
so it's been a long time for me. Both girls were a pleasure to shop
with and I was fortunate that they were well behaved. Now I'll have
my new niece/nephew soon and I start all over.
Any of the suggestions about what works to keep kids welcome where I
shop would be greatly appreciated. I worked in retail for a time and
we had children we loved to have in the shop and others we wanted to
ban for life! Just the other day my youngest was shopping with me and
I was feeling the fabric of a blouse. She teased me about touching
the merchandise because I always taught them not to touch anything
without my permission.
For now my plan is to take my neighbor with me to help out. She is a
widow who doesn't drive so I take her at least once a week. If I need
to go someplace inappropriate for a child (where there are things to
spill, swallow, etc) I would leave the child with my friend either in
the car or in the mall and dash in for what I need. Lengthy trips
would be postponed for later. Any other suggestions. Moni
John or Jenn Ridley
Anne Long <al...@iastate.edu> wrote:
>So my point is, my unpaying children come
>to the mall with a mother who may have more funds and inclination to buy
>than a woman who comes with her adult friends but if the vendor turns up
>his/her nose at me and my children, he/she could lose a $100 sale and
>gain a $5 sale.
yours kids might be well-behaved, but we all know there are children
who aren't. And no matter how well behaved any child is, there are
times when s/he is bored and tired and cranky and whiney (especially
when Mom is looking at stuff that they aren't interested in). I don't
like whiney kids (just ask mine!), dislike screaming kids even more,
and I won't stay very long, nor spend much money where they are.
I also don't feel that it is *my* responsibility to watch out for
loose children when I'm shopping (mine don't run off, have never been
allowed to). I go to merchandise malls to get away from my kids, and
why should I have to put up with someone else's, just because "my kids
are angels"?
jenn (who was really trying to stay out of this)
---
Jenn Ridley
jri...@newsguy.com
Lula
I've been a vendor at a SOXS Festival in the past as well as having done
quite a bit of retailing and one thing I would like to point out. It
makes me very nervous to have kids running around my models, grabbing
and touching everything within reach.
As fellow stitchers you can understand my feelings as the models
represent hours and hours of work not to mention expense.
One kid had just eaten something sticky and had grubby hands reaching
for my models while the mother was busy doing something else.
In the meantime I was busy with another customer but I had to stop and
shoo that kid away from my models.
I've been around children all my life and have nothing against them
except the adults who do not supervise their kids.
---
Lula
http://www.woolydream.com
Needlework Adventures
Sarra Wright
On Wed, 04 Mar 1998 19:57:13 GMT, wal...@midwest.net wrote:
>Any of the suggestions about what works to keep kids welcome where I
>shop would be greatly appreciated. I worked in retail for a time and
>we had children we loved to have in the shop and others we wanted to
>ban for life! Just the other day my youngest was shopping with me and
>I was feeling the fabric of a blouse. She teased me about touching
>the merchandise because I always taught them not to touch anything
>without my permission.
You know, I think this whole kids or no kids argument boils down to:
some children are well behaved and have parents that have drawn a line
on allowable public behavior and some children are not at all well
behaved and have parents that think that anything they do is just part
of being a child so that makes it ok.
At the pet store where I work we welcome children and pets. In the
early spring, we erect a pond in the front of the store to showcase
our koi and goldfish. Last year, not five minutes after we had the
thing set up and fish in it, a mother and two children came in, she
promptly ignored them and they started throwing gum and candy wrappers
into the pond. I very nicely asked them not to do that, since it
wasn't good for the fish, and they ran and told their mother. The
mother came over and yelled at me for disciplining her children,
because "they were just being kids". The same children make a habit
of climbing on the cat furniture display, throwing dog food in the
fish tanks, putting their hands in the fish tanks, throwing dog toys
at each other and the other customers, and running up and down the
aisles screaming. The youngest will sit on the floor and scream, if
she gets bored.
If I had done any one of those things in a store when I was a child, I
wouldn't have been able to sit down for two days. I'm not advocating
spanking, but I do believe that both children and adults should adhere
to a standard of "acceptable public behavior".
Children need to be exposed to a variety of different places, and
learn the way that it is appropriate to act in each place. I think
that the parents who allow their kids to "act out", all the time
without giving them limits are really doing their children a
disservice in learning how to get along in society.
So, personally I have nothing against children in general being at the
SOCS, I just wish that certain parents would leave their "little
brats" at home.
Sarra in Dallas
X/USA/H2+++/-/-/4C 1D 100F 1h 2T 23B 3Ig/1C/XHDPKCr/'A'~/D/:-X/0/M/B+/
b/R?/S+/K-/E+/L/G-/W+/?/?/Patrick Stewart/Chelsea Quinn Yarbro/cheesecake
Working on Noah's Ark Sampler by Theresa Wentzler
smirt
The craft shows I regularly attend allow prams, (only one doesn't, and it
makes for a pleasant day out... no screaming kids and no squished toes :-).
The last show I went to I witnessed one mother looking anywhere
but where she was going (a craftaholic like me :-), wheel her child
straight into the many bags hanging off another woman's arm.
The mother blamed the other woman for hitting her child in the face
with the bags, whilst the other woman was upset at being accused.
The result two very angry women and one crying child.
As for shoplifting, ask anyone in retail ... a stroller/pram makes for
the best when trying to steal from a store, many places to hide and
the staff feel bad about asking someone to move a sleeping child so
that they can look underneath them (this is where most stolen items
are placed according to our store security).
Ronelle.
To reply remove spamfree from address.
D. Swanson <dswa...@teleport.com> wrote in article
<6ddj1d$psn$1...@news1.teleport.com>...
We3Reeds
I just had to post after reading the many posts for and against children
attending.
I personally think each parent has the right to decide whether to bring their
child(ren) to this (or any) event and leave it at that, no condemnations.
There is nothing you (that are against it) can do about people bringing
children whether they pay for admittance or not. That would be like saying "ok,
you don't pay for entrance into the mall so i will decide who can be here,
hmmm you, yes you the lady with the extra 100 pounds, you take up too much room
so you can't be here in the mall with the rest of us" That's ridiculous! and
so are the statements about people taking children with them places.
I'm sure that the people that have posted "for" children are very similar to me
(i'm assuming anyway). I take my child everywhere I go, he is never away from
me. That's the way it is, that's the way it will be. He is a well-behaved,
good-natured child who does not cry and whine and he doesn't get bored easily.
I have been VERY blessed (i have a friend that i call and _guaranteed_
everytime i call her oneof her children if not _both_ children are screaming)
If I had those type of children I probably would not go anywhere (except back
to work!!!!!) but God has graced me with a pleasant natured child who likes
"shopin' with mama"
I always plan ahead and we never stay anywhere for more than an hour (that's
about the limit on his attention span, every child has a different time), we
never take toys (too much to see,don't need toys) and travel very light (to
much crap takes the fun out of "getting out spur of the moment") and we never
even use a stroller because of the hassle they cause (people do not let you
through so instead of weaving though the crowd like you normally could you're
"stuck" in one spot til some kind soul moves aside and lets you through) so we
just let him walk beside us or carry him (he knows these are the rules - hold
hands or we carry him) He doesn't "run off" or touch things, he knows the
rules. Yes, I'm one of those "horrible, evil" mothers who spanks and does not
apologize for being a good mother with a good child.
Now, don't lump people like me with all "people with children" because the
parents you are talking about with crying, unruly, sticky fingered children
aren't the normal "people with children" and if you really think so then IMHO
I'd guess (1.) you don't have children or (2.) you had children likethis at one
point and don'tknow how to rear children.
Now that I've gotten furious and let off a little steam lets just put an end to
flaming "people with children"
Buttons
Buttons
Visit our family page http://members.aol.com/we3reeds
Fabrics2U
In article
<60423F1608F7C4DF.9184C79E...@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
sar...@airmail.net (Sarra Wright) writes:
>r disciplining her children,
>because "they were just being kids". The same children make a habit
>of climbing on the cat furniture display, throwing dog food in the
>fish tanks, putting their hands in the fish tanks,
I once heard an employee very politely tell a mother that children are at risk
of electrocution when they put hands in the tanks! <G> They promptly left. YOu
might try it!
Kim
Fabrics2U
email me to get on monthly sale list!
http://members.aol.com/Fabrics2U/index.html
AChrist787
I don't think anyone was flaming "people with children" as a general rule.
There are a whole lot of good parents out there. Unfortunately, there are just
as many lousy ones and these are the ones all of us who have commented are
talking about. The people who take a tired child out to dinner at 8:00 p.m.
and then let the kid scream and drive the rest of us nuts. The people who take
their kids to a needlework festival mall and let them run loose and finger
everything regardless of what is on their hands.
It's interesting that the people who have gotten the most upset about this are
the people who seem to keep their kids under control. The people who don't
either don't read these threads, don't see themselves in these threads or just
flat don't care.
And before anyone accuses me of not having kids, let me put that to rest. I
had 4 children and firmly believe that there is a time to take kids and a time
not to take kids. And yes I have grandchildren. I have two who are well
behaved and I would take anywhere, and I have one I wouldn't even take to the
grocery store because his parents have been so totally over indulgent that he
is a brat and doesn't behave.
Elaine Baeza
> > And before anyone accuses me of not having kids, let me put that to rest. I
> > had 4 children and firmly believe that there is a time to take kids and a time
> > not to take kids. And yes I have grandchildren. I have two who are well
> > behaved and I would take anywhere, and I have one I wouldn't even take to the
> > grocery store because his parents have been so totally over indulgent that he
> > is a brat and doesn't behave.
I have been having a problem concerning my grandchild and perhaps some
of you experienced grandmothers/mothers can help me. My grandaughter
Jacqueline is two years old and she stays with us during working hours
four days a week while her parents are working. Jacqueline is a pretty
girl with unusually lovely auburn red hair, creamy skin and blue eyes.
:)
My problem is that people keep touching her hair and even her face. :(
Complete strangers just walk up to her in stores or on the street and
put their hands on her hair and face. All of these people mean well and
some of them are quite elderly and some are not. I just don't know how
too stop this behavior in a polite manner. If I wheel the shopping cart
out of reach they tend to follow. The most I have ever done is pick her
up and leave the store -- hurting these folks feelings while they are
clearly admiring her seems to be beyond me. :P But I need to have a
planned course of action. Please help?
Elaine in Newport, Rhode Island
AChrist787
Elaine,
I went through that somewhat when my twins were little ( eons ago). I finally
had to say quite firmly "Please don't touch them". I know that this hurt
feelings, but it was better for my children. I don't know any other way to do
this.
Ali866
> My problem is that people keep touching her hair and even her face. :(
>Complete strangers just walk up to her in stores or on the street and
>put their hands on her hair and face. All of these people mean well and
>some of them are quite elderly and some are not. I just don't know how
>too stop this behavior in a polite manner. If I wheel the shopping cart
>out of reach they tend to follow. The most I have ever done is pick her
>up and leave the store -- hurting these folks feelings while they are
>clearly admiring her seems to be beyond me. :P But I need to have a
>planned course of action. Please help?
>
>Elaine in Newport, Rhode Island
Weeeelllllll, you could always hang a big sign around her neck saying "DON'T
TOUCH THE BABY!"...
On a more serious not, perhaps you could ask them politely not to touch her, as
she has a weakened immune system and gets sick very easily (if you don't mind
fibbing...)
Ali ;-)
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Nan
AChrist787 wrote:
>
> Elaine,
>
> I went through that somewhat when my twins were little ( eons ago). I finally
> had to say quite firmly "Please don't touch them". I know that this hurt
> feelings, but it was better for my children. I don't know any other way to do
> this.
My suggestion:
Part One: A cheerful and quite loud "Woops!" to get the person's
attention and probably stop the hand moving toward the child, and at the
same time I'd be leaning toward the stranger and moving my hand to place
it between the child and the stranger's hand.
Part Two: With a small smile, and using exactly the same wording
generally used for erring children, in a pleasant, firm tone of voice:
"Please keep your hands to yourself. Thanks."
Part Three: When you are given some excuse intended to force you to
accept their attentions: With a smaller smile and raised eyebrows, "I
have to insist. Humor me, okay?"
Notice I didn't suggest saying "I'm sorry" at any point. Why should we
be?
Protecting children from whatever may be on the strangers' hands, and
from learning that it is quite okay for anybody in the world to handle
them at will, without either their permission or ours, is much more
important than being "polite." Protection is basic. Politeness comes
second. If you have room or time or circumstances for only one, choose
protection.
Julia Hedberg
In article <19980305141...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
fabr...@aol.com (Fabrics2U) wrote:
sounds like you need to start selling piranhas...
julia
(i STILL catch myself standing in stores with my hands behind my back.)
--
visit my homepage at http://www.erols.com/belle.nightshade for costume design information
Julia Hedberg
i have the same problem with people touching ivy. she is an absolute
doll, but i agree, she should realize her body is hers, and if she does
not wish to be handled, she doesnt need to put up with it*, let alone the
germ thing.
now she is old enough to say, "pleez dont touch me", or duck behind my
skirt with a charming smile. i just used to say, "she is cute, isnt she,
but she really doesnt like strangers touching her." usually that worked
pretty well.
*the really hard part is when she doesnt want me to touch her!!!serves me
right. i wasnt really a cuddling child either and it drove my mom nuts.
julia
--
Robert and Elizabeth
Lula <wooly...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> I've been a vendor at a SOXS Festival in the past as well as having done
> quite a bit of retailing and one thing I would like to point out. It
> makes me very nervous to have kids running around my models, grabbing
> and touching everything within reach.
> As fellow stitchers you can understand my feelings as the models
> represent hours and hours of work not to mention expense.
snipped a lot
In Stitches Needlework shop in Mount Vernon has a really great ploy for
mothers--a toy basket full of toys and books for small children. My DD
age 3 heads straight there and entertains herself in a small corner for
ages while I shop. The only problem is to check her for toys she has
decided to take home before we leave.
--
Elizabeth
Cross Stitch, it's not a job, it's an obsession!
Sarra Wright
On 5 Mar 1998 14:10:24 GMT, fabr...@aol.com (Fabrics2U) wrote:
>I once heard an employee very politely tell a mother that children are at risk
>of electrocution when they put hands in the tanks! <G> They promptly left. YOu
>might try it!
didn't know about it, and our fish department manager put her hand in
the tank and got zapped big time.
We3Reeds
i think Nan had a great 3 step plan! i do something very similar to this when
i am in store with son. i have gotten very good at seeing people coming at us
and now move him out of reach beforehand. But I have never been too polite to
say in a firm but nice tone "please do not touch him, he is scared of
strangers"(which he is from all the attention he gets)
Whether real or imagined there are many threats to our children and they must
always know that people should not be toiuching them for any reason. Same as
people giving candy etc i tell them politely that we do not accept candy,
gifts etc from strangers but thank you for the thought. (i carry gum and candy
in my purse at all times so he does not care if he gets their candy or not
anyway)
people are very strange sometimes. When i was pregnant i couldn't believe the
people who would just walk up and touch my stomach!!! (i hate to be touched and
think that was one reason i smoked for years, to keep people at a "safe"
distance from me) They couldn't have made me feel any worse than if they would
have grabbed my crotch! Some people don't mind i guess but i did! (the tummy
touching not the crotch grabbing LOL) so i did not want DS to ever feel
uncomfortable with people around. He loves people and chatters away as long as
he knows they are not going to touch him (guess he got it from me but he loves
snuggling and cuddling DH and me)
well, i sure have been gabby today!! trying to catch up on newsgroups (how do
you all keep up??)
wal...@midwest.net
>:)
> My problem is that people keep touching her hair and even her face. :(
>Complete strangers just walk up to her in stores or on the street and
>put their hands on her hair and face. All of these people mean well and
>
was to her waist and very thick and lovely blonde. People were always
touching her. At a cosmetic department 4 ladies came out and
surrounded her. She suffered from shyness for years even though I
tried to talk to her about it. Strangers are the people we tell our
children to be cautious with and then here they are, all around and
touching.
If I were to do it over, I would spend more time talking to her about
people who do that - how some people are lonely or don't have children
around and all mean their attention as admiration and kindness. Vicky
was so quiet, she never spoke to anyone without encouragement. It did
trouble her for years so please try to talk to your little one. Also
mention that strangers can talk to her IF and only IF she is with you
or her parents. She will pick up a lot from your signals. I'm a very
friendly person so Vicky knew it was okay. On the other hand, my
youngest has been hogging the spotlight forever. She loves attention
and thrives on it. Kimberly has turned out to be an entertainer.
Vicky stays offstage as a director/stage manager. Moni
Ruth409028
>well, i sure have been gabby today!! trying to catch up on newsgroups (how
>do
>you all keep up??)
>
>
I keep up by selective reading. I just don't have time to read all the posts.
I know I miss a lot, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Frances
Fabrics2U
> and
>from learning that it is quite okay for anybody in the world to handle
>them at will, without either their permission or ours, is much more
>important than being "polite."
Amen, sister! That is something everyone needs to remember.
KarenK2683
A close friend of mine who used to work with me in our local Cross Stitch
Shop used to tell kids who were manhandling the DMC floss on the racks," Oh
honey, be careful- I'd hate for your mom to have to pay for all that floss
you're touching" in the loudest voice she could muster to be overheard by the
little darling's mom! It was usually quite effective!
Karen
pat foley
In <1d5f4y2.jmf...@a0p11.dsport.com> fus...@puff.dsport.com
My stitching store has the same thing, only mothers don't always use
it. I was there a few weeks ago, trying to pick up the latest
magazines. A mother selecting floss or beads or whatever in the same
aisle had stationed her three children on the floor in front of the
magazine rack. She told them to stay there, and there they stayed,
blocking everyone's access. When she saw me trying to get to the
magazines, she just glared at me and her kids didn't even shift
slightly to let me get what I needed. I don't blame parents for not
wanting to leave their kids unsupervised and out of their sight -- who
knows who could snatch them away? But I won't apologize for disliking
this behavior or for kids running up and down aisles, snatching things
off racks and driving people nuts who are legimately trying to shop.
Stores are in business for the people who are buying the merchandize;
not as playgrounds for kids. And those of us who are shopping have a
right to do that, too, as much or more than the rights of parents to
impose their children in places and in ways that make our shopping
trips unpleasant. We have a right to be there, too. The problem is,
when we point that out, we are flamed by people who seem to feel that
having a child with them excuses childish and inconsiderate behavior.
Pat
Jayne
Elaine, I have a 7YO son who is (IMHO) quite gorgeous. He has blond hair,
blue eyes, lovely skin and a similar problem. If I stand too far away from
him people (Particularly elderly ladies) seem drawn to stroke his hair and
even pinch his cheeks. This really upsets him as he usually gets quite a
shock to see a complete stranger pawing him. I have told him to just
scream "Don't touch me!" at the top of his voice, and while temporarily
unpleasant this seems to work. If he has recently been playing with his
friends (read covered from head to toe with red dirt) he also seems to lose
some of his touchability. When he was younger I just used to stand close
to him in shops, put him in the basket at the front of the trolley and keep
some physical contact (even just holding hands). This seems to deter the
compulsive touchers. I have even, on occasion, asked people if they would
like total strangers coming up and touching THEIR grandchildren. This
usually earns me some vicious looks (hey, I'm tough, I can handle it) but I
hope it makes them think. As a concerned parent I try to teach my child
that NO BODY has the right to touch him if he doesn't want them to, and
ANYBODY must stop touching him when he says so.
Sorry for ranting a bit but this is one of my pet peeves. I hope some of
this helps.
Jayne - hoping not to be flamed - but I'm from Sunny South Africa so I can
take the heat
Elaine Baeza <bba...@ibm.net> wrote in article <34FEC9...@ibm.net>...
><snipped story of gorgeous grandchild being touched by strangers>
Trish Lavis
On Thu, 05 Mar 1998 10:47:16 -0500, Elaine Baeza <bba...@ibm.net> wrote:
<snip>
>Jacqueline is a pretty girl with unusually lovely auburn red hair, creamy skin and blue eyes.
>Complete strangers just walk up to her in stores or on the street and
>put their hands on her hair and face.
My DD aged three has similar colouring, Elaine, and I'd never thought to prevent
people from touching her as you describe! Thanks for the alert! It's *not* nice
to be manhandled by strangers and they certainly do like to fondle Ellie's red
hair.
Reminds me of another Boring Story:
I too had auburn hair when I was younger (it's darkened to deep red brown now)
and it was long enough to sit on. When I lived at the University College, we had
six visiting Public Servants from Lagos, Nigeria, living at the end of our
corridor. They were marvellous people and I became close friends with the only
woman in the group. The men liked to join in some of the more social occasions
in College, but seemed quite shy.
Until one day I was hanging over the balcony drying my hair. As I stood up, the
tallest, largest, deepest-voiced Nigerian gentleman came upon me from behind and
buried his face in my hair, seizing a double handful and saying "Oh! This is so
beautiful! I have never seen anything like it. You must marry me and give me
many beautiful daughters with hair like this!" (NB DS lived in College with me
and also has flaming red hair - the genetic component must be obvious).
I nearly shot off the balcony into the ether, I can tell you! However there were
two hands, each the size of a leg of ham, tangled in my hair. Can you picture a
gibbering zany-woman skittering along a corridor with a very large (and
extremely handsome) black man grafted to her head calling 'Ajaja! Ajaja! Ajaja!'
- the Nigerian lady's name. Once we sorted all this out, everyone laughed and
the gentleman (Chima, by name) and I became firm friends too. I found he already
had two wives safely installed in two households outside Lagos and approximately
seven children already.
During this time, the Olympic Games were being televised on the local TV
station. Each night a knot of us would congregate in the common room to watch TV
in the dark and eat bucketsful of popcorn with lashings of butter. One night,
Chima stuck his head into the darkened room and said "Omo, you idiot! I *know*
you're in there! Open your eyes so I can see you!" Omo was particularly dark and
he made his presence known with his flashing white teeth and the whites of his
eyes reflected in the light from the TV set! This little incident brought the
house down!
My friend, Ajaja, was very fond of needlework and was happy to learn needlepoint
from me. She taught me a bit about beading and we spent many happy hours
together chatting about our hopes for our children and so on. The day we took
our leave of each other, I found she was not, in fact, twenty-fiveish as was I.
Ajaja was fifty five and turning fifty six the following week!!! She is one of
the most truly beautiful women I've ever met. Soon after she returned to
Nigeria, there was a long period of civil unrest and we lost touch. I often
wonder what happened to all my dear friends and whether they remained safe.
Trish {|:-}
Dennis & Karen Eichorst
pat foley wrote:
>
> In <1d5f4y2.jmf...@a0p11.dsport.com> fus...@puff.dsport.com
> (Robert and Elizabeth) writes:
> >
> >
> >In Stitches Needlework shop in Mount Vernon has a really great ploy
> for
> >mothers--a toy basket full of toys and books for small children. My DD
> >age 3 heads straight there and entertains herself in a small corner
> for
> >ages while I shop. The only problem is to check her for toys she has
> >decided to take home before we leave.
>
> My stitching store has the same thing, only mothers don't always use
> wanting to leave their kids unsupervised and out of their sight -- who
> knows who could snatch them away? But I won't apologize for disliking
> this behavior or for kids running up and down aisles, snatching things
> off racks and driving people nuts who are legimately trying to shop.
> Stores are in business for the people who are buying the merchandize;
> not as playgrounds for kids. And those of us who are shopping have a
> right to do that, too, as much or more than the rights of parents to
> impose their children in places and in ways that make our shopping
> trips unpleasant. We have a right to be there, too. The problem is,
> when we point that out, we are flamed by people who seem to feel that
> having a child with them excuses childish and inconsiderate behavior.
>
> Pat
Well, I won't flame you, Pat. My LSS has a toy corner, too, and my kids,
3 and 5, generally head straight for it. In terms of safety, I'm not
very concerned. With the exception of the annual sale (to which I don't
bring them), the store's not usually crowded, and everyone who works
there knows my kids and that they're mine, so if someone tried to take
off with them, it'd be noticed. BUT, when they start wandering around,
trying to touch all the fibers, we go home. I don't bring them along
when I'll be browsing, only when I'm after something specific. Browsing
is done solo or with my dearest darlingest mom.
Karen E., Rochester, NY
--
X/USA/H++/X4,Y2/B1,f~60/X,H,N,T,crochet/0,S,F/recovering
:-D~/P/G-/W+/D/M/B/b/R?/S+ (band)/K/E/C+/J/Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson,
Rowan Atkinson/James Herriot/Lays potato chips/
"We did _not_ survive a NUCULAR war! It was a NUCLEAR war! A NUCLEAR
war!"
_____________________________________________
Please remove ".chlorine" from e-mail address to reply
Elaine Baeza
> My suggestion:
> >
> > Part One: A cheerful and quite loud "Woops!" to get the person's
> > attention and probably stop the hand moving toward the child, and at the
> > same time I'd be leaning toward the stranger and moving my hand to place
> > it between the child and the stranger's hand.
> >
> > Part Two: With a small smile, and using exactly the same wording
> > generally used for erring children, in a pleasant, firm tone of voice:
> > "Please keep your hands to yourself. Thanks."
> >
> > Part Three: When you are given some excuse intended to force you to
> > accept their attentions: With a smaller smile and raised eyebrows, "I
> > have to insist. Humor me, okay?"
> >
> > Notice I didn't suggest saying "I'm sorry" at any point. Why should we
> > be?
> >
I absolutely agree with you but doubt I have the courage to pull it
off. :) I think I can do the "oops" part. Really I have to try
something. Her mom, my daughter Jennifer, warns me not to let people do
this but when we are all out together I notice that Jennifer isn't any
better at it than I am -- the leaf does not fall far from the tree as
they say.
There was a particularly horrid incident where the toucher had three
inch long, really dirty fingernails. I wasn't there but I'm told
Jennifer cried rather than offend this woman.
Right now we are having a menningitis outbreak in Rhode Island so there
is even more reason and people should understand. By the way, did I
mention that the baby doesn't seem to mind a bit? She is so well
adjusted and not afraid of much.
Personally, I really don't touch anyone unless I know them really well
-- hugs. Of course one must shake hands when meeting strangers but I've
never really liked that. And I always stand well back when I tell
mothers how cute their little ones are. I love babies! :)
Elaine
Sally in WV
You've made me do some thinking (and on a Friday afternoon that's a
major feat!). ;-)
Personally, strollers in crowded places worry me. My daughter is 15 now
and so it's been a long, long time since I've used one. I've just
forgotten that people use them, as stupid as that sounds! There have
been several times that I've almost collided with them and that worries
me. (Not for my safety of course, but I'd be guilt ridden if I'd hurt a
child.)
I'm more aware of wheelchairs. As a teacher I have several chair
students and have several friends who use wheelchairs, so I'm more
cognizant of them just because I come across them more in my daily
routine. Wheelchairs are also higher than strollers, making them more
readily viewable in our peripheral vision.
Anne, I absolutely have to agree with you on the point about rude
adults. We've all run across more than our share of loud, obnoxious,
rude people and, unfortunately, it seems that there are more and more of
them everyday.
I still believe that SoXS is not the place for strollers, but as for
children - as long as they behave, they're welcome. And the same goes
for the adults too! ;-)
Sally in WV
aka SageM
Anne Long wrote:
> I've been going to the DM SOCS since it first started and I see adults
> behaving rudely everytime and I don't appreciate it either. I've
> listened to foul language; loud, obnoxious people; ditzos; and people
> who wouldn't know manners if someone came and told them how to behave
> properly. But I just tell the kids that these ADULTS are behaving
> improperly, foul language is not allowed by anyone in our family, etc.
> It's a 2 way street, people - kids aren't the only ones who can spoil
> someone's day out.
>
> Anne L.
Ruth & Shel
I see adults
> > behaving rudely everytime and I don't appreciate it either. I've
> > listened to foul language; loud, obnoxious people; ditzos; and people
> > who wouldn't know manners if someone came and told them how to behave
> > properly. But I just tell the kids that these ADULTS are behaving
> > improperly, foul language is not allowed by anyone in our family, etc.
> > It's a 2 way street, people - kids aren't the only ones who can spoil
> > someone's day out.
> >
woman who yelled at the top of her lungs to her daughter: 'this is a
library. You've got to be quiet'. That was a major giggle at work.
Ruth
fri...@earthlink.net
Ruth & Shel
Tara D wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > Right now we are having a menningitis outbreak in Rhode Island so there
> >is even more reason and people should understand. By the way, did I
> >mention that the baby doesn't seem to mind a bit? She is so well
> >adjusted and not afraid of much.
> > Personally, I really don't touch anyone unless I know them really well
> >-- hugs. Of course one must shake hands when meeting strangers but I've
> >never really liked that. And I always stand well back when I tell
> >mothers how cute their little ones are. I love babies! :)
> >
> >Elaine
>
> touching me offensive (to the point that I sternly warn once not to do
> it again, second requests are made with them in a prone position to
> make my point, third requests have not been needed to this point).
> The group I bowl with, have just noticed that for the 5th year in a
> row, I had a hacking, horrible cough on the last night before we
> parted for Xmas (read--kiss everyone a happy xmas night). No-one got
> close enough to try.
> I find a quick whip out of the hand in offer of a handshake can deter
> most other contact. Any strangers that try, get to kiss my ear (not
> quite sure how I can get my head twisted so fast).
I' a reference librarian, and the other day I was helping someone on the
computer. She was so excited that we found what she wanted, that she
kept punching my right shoulder. About 4-5 punches. Just what I always
wanted. Finally she asked if she were hurting me. I said I preferred
not to be touched, let alone punched, even if it were joyful punching.
People can sometimes be very weird.
And about children in public places? Many parents have a sense of
what's proper in the library, but then there are those who let their 2
yr olds run all over the place, pulling down books, yelling: 'I want
that video', etc. I think I'm getting old, or else have no more
tolerance for that. When my kiddles got very noisy in a public
building, I gently scooped them up and took them outside. Maybe it's a
different time.
O.K. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm off my soapbox.
Ruth, who loves to stitch and read and answer reference questions.
fri...@earthlink.net
ahe...@dorsai.org
On Fri, 06 Mar 1998 18:21:21 -0500, Ruth & Shel <fri...@earthlink.net>
wrote:
>I' a reference librarian, and the other day I was helping someone on the
>computer. She was so excited that we found what she wanted, that she
>kept punching my right shoulder. About 4-5 punches. Just what I always
>wanted. Finally she asked if she were hurting me. I said I preferred
>not to be touched, let alone punched, even if it were joyful punching.
>People can sometimes be very weird.
The same thing happened to me, Ruth. I had to tell the patron that I
really don't like being touched. I also have arthritis and have found
it a useful "excuse" (though why I should need one I don't know). I
have also had to ask patrons to back off a little, they stand so close
to me that I can't even get the book out in front of me to show them
the information!
Alison
Fabrics2U
> I also have arthritis and have found
>it a useful "excuse" (though why I should need one I don't know).
Isn't it funny that we feel we need an "excuse" for not wanting people to
invade *our* personal space?? I have a hard time keeping strangers from
touching my kids too, although the 5 year old just gets behind me now.
Gspring142
I guess I'm lucky. I've never had a problem with others invading my space, I
take a step back or turn away. I've not had many reach for my kids either,
more likely my kids reaching over booths at restaurants with ketchup fingers
that I'd be worrying about. My kids go to reading hours at the library and
have always HAD TO behave in a public place or leave. There are many people
who were raised by parents of the freedom age (let your children be free
spirits) and what else do they know? Just a guess.
More people need to be more aware of their kids, aging birth to 21.
Greta
ju...@gritton.org
Just thought I'd heap a little praise on my daughter, the nefarious 4-year-old
that everything gets blamed on ;) I went into a needlework store the other
day with Erika and her 14-month-old sister. This particular store has a
childrens' corner of sorts, basically one of those bead roller coaster things
in the middle of the floor by the checkstand... Anyway, I set the baby down
by the toy and told Erika to keep an eye on her while I just got one piece of
fabric. You know how that goes... 20 minutes later (yes, I *was* being good)
I still hadn't heard a peep out of them. Turns out they were playing quietly,
pushing the beads back and forth to each other, for 20 minutes! Baby would
push some beads, Erika would push back, baby would giggle...really nice play.
The shop lady was so impressed she gave Erika a beanbag monkey for being such
a good girl. So not every mother has terrible kids...maybe I should start
blaming things on DH? ;)
Julie
--
Julie Gritton aka Mommy aka The Secret Pal Godmother (tee hee!)
ju...@gritton.org http://www.gritton.org/julie
Disclaimer: Anything objectionable gets blamed on the 4-year-old.
Check out the Stitchers' Secret Pal Page! http://www.gritton.org/pal
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Bern
A few years ago I was having problems with
depression. A 'friend' kept on giving me hugs b/c
he is a touchy/feely person. He could not sense
that I do not like to be touched/hugged
indiscriminately. This action of his actually
worsened my problem to the point where my personal
space ended up being my entire home when I was at
home. I didn't even like my best friend being
there because it was such an invasion of my
personal space. Fortunately I eventually got over
my depression and am now able to welcome people
back into my home. I wish that people would
realise that not everyone appreciates their 'kind'
gestures.
Elaine Baeza
> > Sorry for ranting a bit but this is one of my pet peeves. I hope some of
> > this helps.
> > Jayne - hoping not to be flamed - but I'm from Sunny South Africa so I can
> > take the heat
> >
Jayne,
I totally agree with you and posts like this give me courage to stand
up to these touchy folks. I remember as a child we used to visit my
mother's home town of Petaluma, California and stay with her sister.
Come Sunday morning we all went to 9:00 am mass. After mass the pastor
would be waiting at the front door to greet people. It was a big thrill
for my mother and aunt to show me off to this fellow who had baptized
me. Well this guy was a cheek pincher in the extreme. I would walk down
the steps of St. Vincent's in such pain. Whatever made him do this? Who
knows? Only God I would guess. :-) I can still feel it in my memories.
:o
Elaine
Elaine Baeza
> What is it with touching? Rather what is it with touching strangers?
> (I have no problems being tactile in a familiar relationship).
> Tara
=============================================================================================================
Tara,
Exactly my point. Add some holiday beverage consumption and some of
those kisses can go way beyond friendly.
Elaine
Elaine Baeza
> And about children in public places? Many parents have a sense of
> > what's proper in the library, but then there are those who let their 2
> > yr olds run all over the place, pulling down books, yelling: 'I want
> > that video', etc. I think I'm getting old, or else have no more
> > tolerance for that. When my kiddles got very noisy in a public
> > building, I gently scooped them up and took them outside. Maybe it's a
> > different time.
> > O.K. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm off my soapbox.
> >
> > Ruth, who loves to stitch and read and answer reference question
Ruth,
I never let my children create a disturbance anywhere and at the time
there were those who deemed me too inhibiting. But I always felt I was
helping them to live and be welcome in the world. Now they are 28, 31
and 34 years old and each has thanked me for teaching him or her how to
behave in public. In each case I was very surprised when it happened. :)
Jacqueline loves the library and is very well behaved. She has a very
'neat streak', must be from the other side of the family, and she tends
to straighten the shelves. One librarian was heard to remark under her
breath, "I was just about to do that." :)
Elaine
Fabrics2U
> I wish that people would
>realise that not everyone appreciates their 'kind'
>gestures.
I am just wondering about why some of us don't want to be touched and why
others love to touch. I know as a child I had an unpleasant, shall we say,
experience with being touched. Is it that way for the others of you who don't
want to be touched?
SDKOEHLER
Did anybody else of the experience of people coming up and touching your
stomach during pregnancy? It happened quite frequently during both of mine and
it drove me crazy!! I had perfect strangers walk up and pat my tummy. It
drove me nuts!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sarah in Ferndale WA
sdko...@aol.com
Current WIP's: Flower Power, Hardanger Table Runner, Mile A Minute Crocheted
Afghan, MLI's Angel of the Sea.
Richardson
pat foley wrote:
>
> My stitching store has the same thing, only mothers don't always use
> magazines. A mother selecting floss or beads or whatever in the same
> aisle had stationed her three children on the floor in front of the
> magazine rack. She told them to stay there, and there they stayed,
> blocking everyone's access.
DH used to manage a bookstore in a very large shopping mall. It got
really old when every Saturday morning scores of mothers would bring
their children in and tell them to look at all the nice books while they
went shopping. You can imagine what the staff spent all their time doing,
and what the shop looked like.
More power to the parents who know how to help their children to behave
appropriately in stores; the rest can leave the children at home IMHO.
--
Patty in Oregon
"So delicate with her needle; an admirable musician;
O! she will sing the savageness out of a bear." (Wm. Shakespeare)
Chris Braun
On Sat, 07 Mar 1998 09:49:08 -0600, ju...@gritton.org wrote:
<nice story about good daughter snipped>
>The shop lady was so impressed she gave Erika a beanbag monkey for being such
>a good girl. So not every mother has terrible kids...maybe I should start
>blaming things on DH? ;)
I couldn't help thinking of this thread when we were out for lunch
today and a toddler at the next table deliberately threw a plate full
of food all over the floor -- broke the plate, got on my pants, etc.
etc.! If I could only tell the troublemakers in advance all would be
well :-)
Chris
Fabrics2U
In article <19980307211...@ladder03.news.aol.com>, sdko...@aol.com
(SDKOEHLER) writes:
>Did anybody else of the experience of people coming up and touching your
>stomach during pregnancy? It happened quite frequently during both of mine
>and
>it drove me crazy!! I had perfect strangers walk up and pat my tummy. It
>drove me nuts!
>
>
Not I! I was afraid people would do that, I had heard a lot about it, but no
one did it to me, thank God!
CaponRouge
I don't like being touched by strangers, probably in part because I
grew up in a fairly abusive household. things that bug me:
People touching my hair. I've had perfect strangers come up to me and
ask if the curl is real or a perm and then play with it, even when
it's up. Yes, it's real, and get your hands off.
Someone patting me on the shoulder or the back or the rear. Friends
sometimes get away with it, and my DSO always gets away with it, but
casual acquaintances and strangers don't.
Funny thing is that I love being hugged by close friends and will let
any of them, anytime, hug me. No problem. But the casual touch
usually really gets to me.
To send e-mail remove "nospam.nospam" from the address.
Do not send unsolicited advertising or junk e-mail to this account.
Current projects: 2.5 more coasters (an iris, a sunflowers, and some red-orange flower);
Oscar the Grouch, the first sampler in my EGA correspondence course; Nancy
Whitley's filigree heart, a beginning Hardanger project kit from anchor designed by Nancy Whitley
which is coming out beautifully,You are what you eat, others for a total of 15.
GOAL: Complete at least three of the 15 by the end of the month.
CaponRouge
Most of the kids that come into Stitchery Row are well behaved (at
least when I've been there, and I'm not an employ, so they may be
seeing things I don't). They wait for the adult(s) and many adults
bring things for the kids to do and stay amused. I've only seen Jane
kick one adult and child out and that was because the woman refused to
stop the kid from messing up the expensive silk threads--I think he
was putting them in his mouth.
But I do have some horror stories and sometimes, as much as I try to
be patient and understanding--especially cause I don't have kids--I
just want to slap the adults silly and stangle the little buggers.
Ah, well....maybe the little buggers will grow up to find the cure for
Ebola or cancer or something....
Dorsey
My pet peevees are not only strangers touching me.......but if they come too
close I step back. If they follow I'll keep stepping until they get the
message. Sometimes it's pretty funny.
Also "family" members that hug just cause they have the same last
name........you know cousin Sally that you've never met in your life, but
wants a big hug.
And I had a female Boss that one time wanted me to hug her in front of the
entire store and John Hechinger SR. when I got an award/cash bouns.
LOL.......we really hated each other and she was quite upset that
headquaters only gave me the award......and made her be present. You
should have seen the look on her face when I extended my hand and took a
step back. Mr. Hechinger was grinnig ear to ear. Whole store laughted at
her cause she had made her displeasure very well know befor hand.
As far as the abuse issue.......yup. But don't think that's the reason. I
just don't like having people invade my comfort zone.....which is relitively
small compared to some. I think it's more from living in a house that you
owned nothing that couldn't be stolen or taken for whatever reason at a
person whim. That zone or space was the only thing that couldn't be taken
from me when I was growing up. The abuse came from the DH from hell years
later.
--
Dors :D
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CaponRouge wrote in message <3501de5f...@news.hancock.net>...
>I don't like being touched by strangers, probably in part because I
>grew up in a fairly abusive household. things that bug me:
>
>People touching my hair. I've had perfect strangers come up to me and
>ask if the curl is real or a perm and then play with it, even when
>it's up. Yes, it's real, and get your hands off.
>
>Someone patting me on the shoulder or the back or the rear. Friends
>sometimes get away with it, and my DSO always gets away with it, but
>casual acquaintances and strangers don't.
>
>Funny thing is that I love being hugged by close friends and will let
>any of them, anytime, hug me. No problem. But the casual touch
>usually really gets to me.
>
>
Lesa & Mark Steele
I *really* don't like it when people touch my kids. When they were
babies it happened all the time---as if the world thinks its acceptable
to touch babies. Not to mention people touching my pregnant tummy.
But as far as my own self---women often touch me on the shoulder, hand,
arm, etc. Really doesn't bother me too much. Now when a male swats my
bottom (other than DH)--now *that* bothers me ;-> I somehow find myself
around "elderly" men (from a different generation) who seem to not know
(or remember) they shouldn't be doing this.
Lesa
--
---------------------------
LS Designs
http://nj5.injersey.com/~lsdesign
Sonya Cirillo
Yep - drove me crazy! Wasn't strangers tho'. I worked in the Chemistry Dept. of a
major university, >100
professors, ~70 secretaries/clerical support and it seemed like every secretary I
met would pat "the baby" and ask
"How are 'we' doing today?" I ended up bribing some of 'my' graduate students (I
was a secretary for a professor
with a large research group) to go do the mail runs and do my copying. Just to
stay away sometimes!
Sonya (in Texas)
SDKOEHLER wrote:
> Did anybody else of the experience of people coming up and touching your
> stomach during pregnancy? It happened quite frequently during both of mine and
> it drove me crazy!! I had perfect strangers walk up and pat my tummy. It
> drove me nuts!
>
lilblakdog
SDKOEHLER <sdko...@aol.com> wrote in article
<19980307211...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...
> Did anybody else of the experience of people coming up and touching your
> stomach during pregnancy?
Can't say I've ever experienced this one...I've never been pregnant.
My favorite was always a guy I used to work with. It was during a time
that I was withdrawing from some prescription drugs and was generally not
well. He always used to come up to me and touch my face to see if I was
feeling warm. I could have killed him sometimes!
The other thing I noticed is the amazing number of strangers who will try
to hug you at a funeral. When my grandfather died I was completely
distraught...I couldn't stop crying for the life of me. At least a dozen
total strangers came over and tried to give me a hug!
lil
Dennis & Karen Eichorst
SDKOEHLER wrote:
>
> Did anybody else of the experience of people coming up and touching your
> it drove me crazy!! I had perfect strangers walk up and pat my tummy. It
> drove me nuts!
>
When I was pregnant with DD, we were house-hunting. Our realtor was a
belly-toucher. I took to backing away from her whenever she headed in my
direction. For some reason, people seem to assume that a pregnant woman
is public property, open to touching, unsolicited advice, etc. I'm a
very social, outgoing person, but even I was put off by the way some
people acted with me when I was pregnant.
Unicorn
One of my friend used to say to overly familiar stranger touching her:
"'scuze me, but you're bursting my proximity bubble!" Usualy, it worked!
Unicorn
TW's night done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
---
unic...@hotmail.com
\
_\,,
"-=\~ _
\\~___( ~
_|/---\\_
\ \
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity
of your action.
That Funky Chick
On 5 Mar 1998 14:21:42 GMT, achri...@aol.com (AChrist787) wrote:
>And before anyone accuses me of not having kids, let me put that to rest. I
>had 4 children and firmly believe that there is a time to take kids and a time
>not to take kids. And yes I have grandchildren. I have two who are well
>behaved and I would take anywhere, and I have one I wouldn't even take to the
>grocery store because his parents have been so totally over indulgent that he
>is a brat and doesn't behave.
Maybe it's a phase (I can hope). My kids both seem to go through phases of
behavior, perhaps those apocryphal "terrible twos." For a while it seemed the
eldest just went out of his way to do everything I told him not to, and the
baby was my little angel. Now the eldest is going back to being cooperative
and well-behaved, and the baby has decided he must have everything his own way
or he'll have a tantrum. I sometimes wonder if they plan this together when
I'm not around. Although to their credit, they can both usually pick up
pretty quickly on the mommy-voice that says "you've pushed my patience too
far."
(I've found that nothing annoys a tantrumming two-year-old worse than saying,
"you want to yell, you can yell in your crib" and putting him to bed. Oh, the
bloodcurdling screams I hear from that one.)
-Bertha
ber...@polly.mhn.org
Fight Spam on the Internet! http://spam.abuse.net/spam//
That Funky Chick
On 7 Mar 1998 15:38:11 GMT, gspri...@aol.com (Gspring142) wrote:
>I guess I'm lucky. I've never had a problem with others invading my space, I
>take a step back or turn away. I've not had many reach for my kids either,
>more likely my kids reaching over booths at restaurants with ketchup fingers
[snip]
Same here...both times I was pregnant, friends (who knew me well enough to
know they should ask before touching my stomach) would mention how a lot of
people would just come up and touch their stomachs when they were pregnant,
but it never happened to me. (Graham says it's because I'm intimidating; I
don't think I am...) Whatever it is, maybe it's extended to the kids. I only
once had someone come up to me out of the blue and try to handle Gordon when
he was a toddler--it surprised me so much I didn't even think about being
polite, just put my body between his and the approaching stranger's. He
stopped coming towards us and just stood a foot or so away telling me what a
beautiful child I had. I thanked him while putting more distance between
us...he probably thought I was a paranoid or something, and maybe I was, but
I'd never had anyone do that before and it alarmed the ol' maternal
instincts...
I'm a pretty touchy-feely person, too, or so I thought. Maybe these folks
just aren't too aware of others' body language telling them "back off."
NYoung5585
i don't liked to be hugged period. Not that I'm antisocial or anything, I'm
just shy and I came from a nonhugging family. I do tolerate hugs from family
members sometimes, like from a aunt I haven't seen for awhile. All and all, I'm
not a hugger by nature and propably will never be one.
Nancy Young
NYoun...@aol.com
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would
deteriorate the cat. -Mark Twain
pat foley
Kids do go through stages like that, some less so than others, but it
is a fairly normal testing of their independence and how far their
limits go.
The point I think a lot of us were making is that the Spirit
marketplace is an extremely hot and crowded place. It is not really a
'family gathering' place, like a craft fair. It is a convention of
pretty dedicated needleworkers. Even for those of us who are pretty
tolerant when children throw a tantrum in Jo-Annes, Michaels, Franks,
or a LSS, most of us regard a needlework convention, whether Spirit or
one of the others, as a special holiday and we find it a lot less
appropriate there, both for the child and the parent to have taken
them.
To go through the marketplace takes hours, and to subject a small child
to those hot, sardine-like conditions, with bags, elbows and everything
else in their face, is just ridiculous. I would never take my small
children there -- regardless of how 'interested' they might be, a small
child has a short attention span, and there's no way an adult could see
the mart before the child became bored and very uncomfortable. I'm very
uncomfortable there. I hate crowds and only my interest in needlework
makes me tolerate it. In my opinion, being a good parent doesn't mean
taking your child *everywhere* with you, as some tedious souls asset.
Sometimes being a good parent means understanding the conditions when
you and they are better off not taking them.
My mother, sister and I had made a practice of going to Spirit every
year, first to Winston-Salem, then Valley Forge. We would make a week
of it, taking classes and shopping and stitching, spending a few days
at my house after the end to drool over our respective stashes and
stitch. It was our yearly vacation. About three years ago my niece
started to tease to go along, but my sister was firm, saying this was a
'big girls' outing for serious stitchers and her one yearly vacation.
Finally, last year when my niece was 10-11, my sister decided she was
old enough not to be bored with a whole week of stitching and that my
niece would really understand us when we said that's pretty much all we
were going to do. (A week is a long time for a kid). Needless to say,
she wasn't bored, and was all the more appreciative (say thrilled) to
have been let into something she considered was adult society. She
went home saying she couldn't wait for next year, and she has continued
to exclaim, six months later, how much fun it was and how she is
looking forward to the next one. We spent the week stitching, (she
spent a lot of it going through my stash and absconding with all my
books and charts of horses) and it was nice to have three generations
of us, all together sewing, watching Jane Austen videos and enjoying
each other's company. But she wouldn't have enjoyed it as much at
seven. Sometimes good things are worth waiting for and should be
waited for. It's giving kids everything before they understand the
value of it (my neighbors have given their six year old a dirt bike --
tell me what six year old needs a motorcycle?) that cheapens
experiences for them.
So I say, if you want your kids to love needlework, let them watch you
sew, put a needle in their hands at age 4 and let them do stamped
cross-stitch, crewel and embroidery, take them with you to your local
craft store and let them pick out kits and such. Let them go through
your magazines when they arrive, and exclaim over the pretty pictures.
But save the conventions for when they are grown up enough to handle
them. I don't think for one minute that saying this is anti-child, I
think just plain sensible.
Pat
In <3504e729...@client1.news.psi.net> ber...@mhn.org (That Funky
Chris Ingle
In article <3501de5f...@news.hancock.net>
capon...@nospam.nospam.hotmail.com (CaponRouge) writes:
> Funny thing is that I love being hugged by close friends and will let
> any of them, anytime, hug me. No problem. But the casual touch
> usually really gets to me.
I feel exactly the same way about it -- I don't mind hugging (and being
hugged by) close friends and family/inlaws, but I'm very "itchy" about
anybody else touching me. I don't even like it when people stand too
close behind me in the grocery store checkout line! I guess I just
have a very defined sense of "personal space" . . .
Cheers!
Chris Ingle
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Joyce Luby
On Sun, 8 Mar 1998 00:22:03 -0800, "Dorsey" <vict...@gte.net> wrote:
>My pet peevees are not only strangers touching me.......but if they come too
>close I step back. If they follow I'll keep stepping until they get the
>message. Sometimes it's pretty funny.
I'm not making light of what can be an annoying problem, but I do
remember a book (though not its title) in which a British politician
described the 'French/Japanese Two-Step' which he'd witnessed at an
embassy party.
Talking to the Japanese Ambassador, the French Ambassador quite
naturally moved to within a foot of his companion - a normal distance
in Europe. This of course was about two feet inside the acceptable
Japanese social distance, so the oriental moved imperceptibly away
until he felt more comfotable. At which point the Frenchman closed up
again. During the course of their conversation, they travelled almost
completely around the room.
I've no idea if this story is true, but it certainly illustrates the
point.