Highly OT, don't read this if easily offended: Da Chicago Scrubs!!!
oly
after the 18-1 thrashing of the Cubbies last evening:
I met the good fairy today, who granted me one wish.
"I want to live forever " I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine" I said, "I want to die when the Cubs win the World Series!"
"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.
oly
Michael Benveniste
But what do you expect, when you raise up a young boy's hopes
And then just crush 'em like so many paper beer cups.
Year after year after year, after year, after year, after year,
after year, after year...
'Til those hopes are just so much popcorn for the pigeons beneath
the 'L' tracks to eat?
--
Mike Benveniste -- m...@murkyether.com (Clarification Required)
Its name is Public opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles
everything. Some think it is the voice of God. -- Mark Twain
oly
<true story follows>
When my eldest nephew was about five or six, he came along with a
bunch of my immediate family to the nursing home to see my Grandpa
Olson (my nephew's great-grandfather). My poor old Gramps, born 1902,
was in a really bad state, restrained in a wheelchair because of
Alzheimer's Disease and a stroke. And Gramps was having an unusually
bad morning that day, to boot.
My young nephew had been dressed by his mother (my sister) that day in
a Cubs' tee-shirt, shorts and ball cap, but he was actually something
of a young Cubs' fan himself. He was quite proud of his Cub's gear
that day. Now, he had rarely seen his Great-Grandpa before, and he
was both fascinated and saddened by Gramps' poor condition.
We left the nursing home, and the mood lightened a bit. Soon somebody
(probably my brother-in-law) said something ridiculously positive
about the Cubbies (maybe they had beaten the Cardinals in a game the
night before), and my nephew enthusiastically joined in.
I looked at my nephew and said "Jason, do you remember poor old Great-
Grandpa back there in the nursing home?" and my nephew said yes, sure
he did, we had just left the place.
And I said, "Well, Gramps was younger than you are right now, the last
time the Cubs won the World Series!!! And the Cardinals have won the
World Series eight times since Grandpa was your age!!!'
And little Jason was very very sad.
But his Uncle's guidance went sadly unheeded, the kid is now twenty-
seven or twenty-eight and still a Cubs' fan. And we all know how many
times the Cubs have won the World Series since this instructive
conversation took place.
Zero, zip, nada, zilch, rien, pas de tout.
My poor mixed-up nephew, a sad sad Cubs' fan.
And he's never shown any interest in coins or collecting anything
either!!!
oly
---------------------------------
"Saint Louis Cardinal born, Saint Louis Cardinal Red, when I die I'll
be Cardinal dead! Like my Gramps!!!"
Bremick
"Michael Benveniste" <m...@murkyether.com> wrote in message
news:8bquom...@mid.individual.net...
> "oly" <oly...@aol.com> wrote:
>
>> This has been making the rounds of the internet this A.M., especially
>> after the 18-1 thrashing of the Cubbies last evening:
>>
>>
>> I met the good fairy today, who granted me one wish.
>>
>> "I want to live forever " I said.
>>
>> "Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
>>
>> "Fine" I said, "I want to die when the Cubs win the World Series!"
>>
>> "You crafty bastard," said the fairy.
>
> But what do you expect, when you raise up a young boy's hopes
> And then just crush 'em like so many paper beer cups.
> Year after year after year, after year, after year, after year,
> after year, after year...
> 'Til those hopes are just so much popcorn for the pigeons beneath
> the 'L' tracks to eat?
I waited over 60 years for the Red Sox. Now, sports-wise, there's nothing
more to look forward to. Cubs fans will get their chance.
Mr. Jaggers
I'm going to guess that the fairy was none other than Steve Bartman in drag.
But despair not. The Statler Brothers' hit "Don't Wait on Me" originally
contained the line,
"When the lights go on at Wrigley Field, I'll be comin' home to you."
That was later changed to "When they put a dome on Wrigley Field..." to keep
the song current.
There is always hope.
James the Eternal Optimist (currently celebrating my 56th year in this
specialty)
Scott Stevenson
>But his Uncle's guidance went sadly unheeded, the kid is now twenty-
>seven or twenty-eight and still a Cubs' fan. And we all know how many
>times the Cubs have won the World Series since this instructive
>conversation took place.
You know George Will's comment about us Cubs fans--we're 90% scar
tissue.
take care,
Scott
mazorj
"oly" <oly...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:f1f654fd-a9d3-40f8...@i28g2000yqa.googlegroups.com...
In an earlier form of this ancient joke, it would have gone like this:
A fairy offers a guy one wish.
"I'd like a time traveling machine. It would have to be small so I could
keep it on my person at all times, and look like an everyday object so no
one would be tempted to steal it. It would contain its own power supply and
would warn me if I was trying to shift to a time and location that was
dangerous to me."
"What? You're crazy! How am I supposed to do time travel? The most
intelligent minds in science have wrestled with this question for centuries.
Make another wish."
"Okay, I'd like the Cubs to win the World Series."
"Tell me again about this time travel thing..."
oly
> "oly" <oly2...@aol.com> wrote in message
Or another version:
Prince Charles runs over one of the Queen's Corgis with one of his
expensive cars, and the dog is stoney cold dead. Good fairy arrives,
offers one wish, Happy Old Chuck wants dog resurrected, good fairy No
Can Do. Got another wish?
Well, HOC pulls out two photos, first of first wife who made me
unhappy, she was popular with everybody else and now she is dead (HOC
shows GF photo); and second of who second wife makes me very happy,
she is unpopular with most everybody else (HOC shows GF second photo);
gee, can the GF do anything to help???
GF looks at first photo, then second photo (repeat several times) and
finally says to Happy Old Chuck - "Can we look at that dog again?"
oly
Mr. Jaggers
You both should be on stage...
And I'm sure you both know the rest of that drill.
James the Sit-Down Comedian
Jud
end of the season, as were MY Red Sox (before they actually did win a
World Series). My hopes at the time were for a Cubs/Sox World Series
so that one of them could finally win. The Curse of the Babe is gone!
Now, where is that goat? 8-)
Bremick
"Jud" <numis...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:d258f673-9aa5-44ce...@q22g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
That still gives diehard Cubs fans something big to look forward to. As a
lifetime Red Sox fan as well, now that their goal has been reached,
something now seems missing.