TR: Insignificant and Obscure Climbs of Moab
Keith Sharp
SERIOUS Climbing Partners are Unavailable
The spring 2003 desert trip had an impossible standard to live up to,
since the 2002 trip included ascents of Washer Woman, Monster Tower,
Sister Superior, the Priest (twice) and another tower that shall
remain unnamed so as not to spoil the adventure for future climbers.
Furthermore, with SERIOUS partners having prior commitments (like
moving to Montana), it was unavoidable that the 2003 trip took on a
decidedly different focus. It was a trip mainly to smell the desert
flowers, which were in unusual abundance and splendor this past May.
The following are (tongue in cheek) descriptions of climbs you may
want to consider if you have done the classics and/or your
spouse/partner doesn't want to venture beyond one pitch.
PUTTERMAN'S BUTTRESS on River Road – This outcrop of soft Chinle
provides a sad example of the depths to which Cameron Burns has
descended to contrive first ascents in the desert, and the gullibility
of those who would follow like sheep. We did the three climbs below.
Mt. Julian Fisher 5.7 70 ft – We could only find three bolts on this
climb. The fourth is likely lying in the talus, still attached to a
block of dried mud. This mini-tower sheds debris like a Lab just out
of the pond.
Porno Night at Eric's 5.8 70 ft – Protection provided by slings around
horns of Chinle. Need I say more? Interesting moves between the eroded
(and still rapidly eroding) layers.
Richard the 3rd 5.7 70 ft – There are places to stuff cams, but don't
even think about falling on them.
MEXICAN HAT – Bandito's Route A1 20 ft - This formation, about 2.5
hours drive south of Moab, comprises literally two moves of aid, but
what a cool summit! Bring your own bottle of old school tequila to add
to the collection. And to those who left the Fat Tire cans: you
yuppies have no sense of tradition!
HIDDEN VALLEY – The flowers on the steep approach trail were
spectacular. Figure at least an hour to get to Crackapelli just beyond
the far end of the valley. Petroglyphs galore.
Crackapelli 5.12a (or C1) 80 ft – A beautiful wide finger crack up a
smooth, dead vertical wall surrounded by petroglyphs. My first real
aid (the Hat doesn't count), as well as my first TR of a 5.12. Could
do the moves one at a time, but a continuous push placing gear along
the way? Only in my dreams!
DEWEY BRIDGE - Enjoy the scenery of Castle Valley, Fisher Towers and
the Colorado River along the one hour drive east of Moab.
Albino Groove 5.9, 60 ft – This marginally protectable slab gets five
stars from Bjornstad, and it's a fine climb, but not worth the drive.
If it weren't a belay-from-the-trunk-of-the-car proposition, it would
be completely forgettable. Burns must have been low on meds and
hyperventilating when he convinced Eric to give it such a rating.
Loathing – Less Clothing Direct 5.8 C1 80 ft – An appropriate name for
the state of your attire after the flaring offwidth has abraded it
away. Bjornstad's Desert Rock III has Fear and Loathing mislabeled in
the picture on page 122. From the side that the climbs are on (the
side opposite the road), Loathing is on the left and Fear is on the
right. We did a possible FA of a direct variation. FA's French and
Burns did the sensible thing and scrambled to the bench between Fear
and Loathing, thereby bypassing the obvious first pitch. But if you
drove all the way from Moab to snag another desert tower, then you
deserve the additional suffering of the SERIOUS climbers line. Can be
done in one pitch, just use plenty of slings on the cams. One set of
Camalots with an extra #4 will do.
MILL CREEK – A pleasant hiking trail along the stream for the locals.
Derelict climbers have searched for climbing here and found precious
little.
Little Big Man – West Buttress 5.5 25 ft – Bjornstad lists a 40 ft 5.8
route on this pathetic little pile of sand. Jimmy Dunn's legend will
forever be tarnished by this FA, but his not-so-recognizable German
belayer, Al, was able to sneak away without revealing his surname,
saving his entire family from embarrassment. Since the "West Buttress"
towers all of 25 feet above the deck and requires a couple of 5.5
moves, I guess we have an FA, but who cares? Sorry, Mom and Dad. Bring
# 0.5 and # 1 Camalots if you are too much of a weenie to just boulder
it.
Have a great 2004,
Keith
Chiloe
>
> PUTTERMAN'S BUTTRESS on River Road – This outcrop of soft Chinle
> provides a sad example of the depths to which Cameron Burns has
> descended to contrive first ascents in the desert, and the gullibility
> of those who would follow like sheep. We did the three climbs below.
>
> Mt. Julian Fisher 5.7 70 ft – We could only find three bolts on this
> climb. The fourth is likely lying in the talus, still attached to a
> block of dried mud. This mini-tower sheds debris like a Lab just out
> of the pond.
>
> Porno Night at Eric's 5.8 70 ft – Protection provided by slings around
> horns of Chinle. Need I say more? Interesting moves between the eroded
> (and still rapidly eroding) layers.
>
> Richard the 3rd 5.7 70 ft – There are places to stuff cams, but don't
> even think about falling on them.
There oughta be a survivor's club of gullible sheep who flocked
to this outcrop, lured by the guidebook's promise of three- and
four-star moderates so close to the road, only to feel duped
once they got there and began pulling off big holds.
(raises hand)
Hardman Knott
Chiloe <ich...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> There oughta be a survivor's club of gullible sheep who flocked
> to this outcrop, lured by the guidebook's promise of three- and
> four-star moderates so close to the road, only to feel duped
> once they got there and began pulling off big holds.
> (raises hand)
Sounds like a great way to keep the conga lines off the good stuff!
Hardman Knott
Chiloe
> Chiloe <ich...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >
> > There oughta be a survivor's club of gullible sheep who flocked
> > to this outcrop, lured by the guidebook's promise of three- and
> > four-star moderates so close to the road, only to feel duped
> > once they got there and began pulling off big holds.
> > (raises hand)
>
> Sounds like a great way to keep the conga lines off the good stuff!
The conga lines are already out there at Potash and Supercrack...
maybe this was a distraction, meant to draw them away?
Hardman Knott
Chiloe <ich...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> The conga lines are already out there at Potash and Supercrack...
> maybe this was a distraction, meant to draw them away?
Precisely...
Hardman Knott
Brian in SLC
> MEXICAN HAT ? Bandito's Route A1 20 ft - This formation, about 2.5
> hours drive south of Moab, comprises literally two moves of aid, but
> what a cool summit! Bring your own bottle of old school tequila to add
> to the collection. And to those who left the Fat Tire cans: you
> yuppies have no sense of tradition!
Grenade still there?
Good stuff, Keith. Give us a shout sometime where yer in the area...
Brian in SLC
Mad Dog
>MEXICAN HAT – Bandito's Route A1 20 ft - This formation, about 2.5
>hours drive south of Moab, comprises literally two moves of aid, but
>what a cool summit! Bring your own bottle of old school tequila to add
>to the collection. And to those who left the Fat Tire cans: you
>yuppies have no sense of tradition!
The wind will blow them (beer cans) away eventually. Next time I'm back on top
of MHat, I'm taking som elong tweezers to get those $1 bills out of that half
gallong tequila bottle.
Mad Dog
>MEXICAN HAT – Bandito's Route A1 20 ft - This formation, about 2.5
>hours drive south of Moab, comprises literally two moves of aid, but
>what a cool summit! Bring your own bottle of old school tequila to add
>to the collection. And to those who left the Fat Tire cans: you
>yuppies have no sense of tradition!
The wind will blow them (beer cans) away eventually. Next time I'm back on top
of MHat, I'm taking som elong tweezers to get those $1 bills out of that half
gallon tequila bottle.
Keith Sharp
> keith...@louisville.edu (Keith Sharp) wrote in message news:<3a889bf.04010...@posting.google.com>...
> >
Yep. Is that yours? Must be some great stories associated with all the
paraphenalia up there.
>
> Good stuff, Keith. Give us a shout sometime where yer in the area...
>
> Brian in SLC
I'll look forward to it. This May.
KS
Guillaume Dargaud
on top
> of MHat, I'm taking som elong tweezers to get those $1 bills out of that
half
> gallon tequila bottle.
Did you climb that thing too ?
I looked at it from the car and thought it was too insane to climb. Maybe
I'm not hardcore enough. Or I'm just afraid of popping an old bolt out and
then tipping the whole thing over...
--
Guillaume Dargaud
http://www.gdargaud.net/Climbing/RoadTrip.html
"Then came a bigger fear. Not the threat of imminent injury, but the fear
that if I didn't go back up, I would be a chickenshit forever." — John
Sherman
Mad Dog
>Did you climb that thing too ?
Yes, last spring, in an alcohol-induced purple haze. Seemed fitting.
>I looked at it from the car and thought it was too insane to climb. Maybe
>I'm not hardcore enough. Or I'm just afraid of popping an old bolt out and
>then tipping the whole thing over...
The bolts looked fine, but I was thinking about the tipping over thing too,
given my impressive massiveness. I didn't bounce test the bolts.