TR-Joshua Tree 12/12/98
grant
Well boyz and grrls, if you missed this one, you have cause to be truly
miserable. Truly one of the finest weekends I've had in years. Temps in
the '70s during the day, good friends and a warm fire at night. Add to that
a huge dose of low crowds, classic routes, and the first annual "Winter
Shakeoff Yer Blues" competition and you have 48 hours of nirvana.
The brainchild of Barb, the challenge is to complete 10 routes from the
various ability levels within a day. THE LIST:
5.7/5.8
49. Cranny 57. Tiptoe109. Andromeda Strain 501. Dinky Doinks 521. Double
Dogleg 688. Bushcrack 710. Left S Crack 757. White Lightning 836. Frosty
Cone 840. Mister Misty Kiss 850. I'm So Embarrassed 1014. Sail Away 1227.
Overhang Bypass 1225. The Flake
. Toe Jam 1244. Dogleg 1246. Double Cross 1257. Boussenier 1300. Hands Off
1330. The Flue 1374. Season Opener 1619. Sticher Quits . Bambi Meets 2434.
Catch Falling Star 2553. Lazy Day 2592. Nurnís Romp
5.9-10a
418 Roadside Attraction 493. Nobody Walks LA 496. Cakewalk 752. Overseer
765. Prepackaged 779. Head Over Heals 805. Taxman 968. Broken Glass 1096.
Ballbearings 1165. Loose Lady 1167. Dummy Delight 1253. Orphan 1255.
Dandelion 1316. Chalk Up Another 1370. Watanobe Wall 1396. Superroof 1390.
The Orc 1601. Touch and Go 1629. Heart and Soul 1649. Popeís Crack 2589.
Diamond Dogs 2594. Exorcist 3127. Continuum 3130. InvLessons 3157. Bird of
Fire 3168. Crack #5 3170. Crack #6
10b-10d
440. Right Mel 441. Left Mel 734. Left Bannana 758. Poodles are People 971.
Semitough 972. Martin Quits 1003.CleanandJerk 1111. Illusion Dweller 1122.
Run for your Life 1129. Fisticuffs 1195. Rt. Ski Track 1328. Pinched Rib
Papa Woolsey Surrealistic Pillar 1405. Decompensator 1400. Grainsurgery
1414. Sidewinder 1430. The Bruiser 1434. Womenís Work 1467. Rollerball 1586.
Effigy Too 1573. CS Special 1637. EBGB 1682. Comp of Elephants
1623.Forbidden Paradise 1128. Quickdraw 2561. Dog Day Afternoon
Judy and Dave get an early jump on the competition by dragging themselves
out of bed at 5:30 for the alpine start, while (unsuccessfully) trying to
encourage the others to join them. David and Nick are off next at a more
reasonable 7 am, followed quickly by Barb and Bob. Team Slacker (myself and
Sue) thought we were assured of the overall slacker award by sleeping in and
having a leisurely breakfast, whilst contemplating our unique strategy of
*rappelling* all the .10's, saving our weak and aging bodies for more
reasonable sports, like croquet or armchair mountaineering. But we lose the
personal slacker underachievement award to Spencer, who pretends to have
been abducted by aliens while all the time sleeping in until an
unprecedented 9 am, somehow ignoring the mangled "Reveille" from the boy
scouts next door, the alpine start chaos, and the large group discussion and
pot banging session! Way to go, Spence!
Our first objective is to rap down Poodles are People, carefully avoiding
anything remotely 5th class. Unfortunately, we find the walk up to consist
of some definite 5th class elements, so we choose to ascend via White
Lightning, a truly great route (I know, Sue. I know...). Next we want to
rap off Huevos, but in the interest of expedience, we choose to climb
Overhang Bypass, picking up a nut I'd left the week before. The temp is
approaching 72F; in the sun it feels more like 80. Shorts and T-shirts, my
friends, in the middle of December! David and Nick are basking in the sun,
waiting for Overhang Bypass after finishing off The Flake, their 7th climb.
We trip on over to rap off Bearded Cabbage, but have to tick off Toe Jam to
get there. While waiting to rap, we're entertained by the "belay device
meltdown" epic taking place on North Overhang. "I don't wanna do this!!!"
"C'mon, you can do it!" " What?!" "What *else* are you gonna do?!" ...icy
silence... "Jenny?!......JEN-NYYY?!" "WHAT?!!!!!"......"C'mon, just try
it!" "NO!- I -DON'T-WANT-TO-DO-IT!!!!"...and so forth, you get the picture.
Much to her credit, she did make the move and ultimately get within striking
distance of her boyfriend. I don't know what happened later... We meet
Barb and Bob, just finishing Dandelion then off next to Coming Attractions,
hands looking a bit ragged, but big goofy grins all around.
Not Forgotten is next with no line to walk up Sail Away. Just amazing...
Since we are over at Hidden Valley (*No one* on Sports Challenge Rock!!), we
decide a rap off of Dodos Delight via Lucky Lady is in order. I found it to
be uniquely uninteresting. I suppose it's a good warm up for Loose Lady if
there's a line. The .9 crack Dummy's Delight next to it seemed much more
interesting.
Feeling like we had been sufficiently slack, we head back to camp only to
be lured by Lazy Day and it's accompanying rap, Cactus Flower. Again we see
Judy and Dave, who are heading for Diamond Dogs, #9 on their list. The sun
is just setting, casting a beautiful orange tint to the rocks, the long
shadows of the joshua trees looking like tick marks on Bridwell's resume.
Back at camp, we start into the beer with smoked oysters, jalapeno cheese
and crackers for appetizers. Craig and Spencer soon show up, having done
Illusion Dweller, Fisticuffs, Run For Your Life, Dummy's Delight, and
others. Unfortunately, Spencer was raised on Yosemite cracks and has an
aversion to taping. His hands look like the losers from a pitbull fight.
But his smile betrays his true feelings....
Slowly people filtered in and their scores announced: Barb and Bob-10
.9/10's, Judy and Dave-10 .9/10's, David and Nick-9 .7/8's, Craig and
Spencer- 7 .10's, and Team Slacker-7 .7's. All in all, an amazing day of
fun, sun, and friends.
Dinner consists of Sue's Sensational Curry over Spencer's Fantabulous
Cous-Cous with a side of Slacker Caesar Salad. Dessert was a new one for
me: Fried Chocolate Bananas- wow! More beer and wine down the gullet, then
suddenly some single malt appears and all hell breaks loose. My memory is
strangely fuzzy past that point...
Somewhere around 6 am the boy scout bugler decides to give "Reveille"
another try, completely mangling it. Mental note: kill any boy scout with a
bugle on sight... I see Sue's bleary eye looking out from under a huge pile
of down and fleece, apparently thinking the same thought. I'm hoping to
still be a contender for overall weekend slacker and try to get back to
sleep with sporadic luck.
Eventually we're all up, amazed at how warm it is already. I'm in shorts
and t-shirt by 8. Culpepper's Famous Fried Bagels start out the feeding
frenzy with Mike's Atomic Coffee, eggs, and bananas to round it all out.
I drag everyone over to check out my boulder problem in site 4, a hand
traverse along a roof to a mantle finish. The landing is somewhat sketchy
if you blow off, but the problem is interesting enough to warrant a go at
it. Basically you start down on the right edge, launch for a left handed
crimp about 14 inches above the edge of the roof, locking off with your
right down on the edge. Now hop your left over about 6 inches to a better
hold with a knob, followed by a right handed leftward 6 inch hop. Now you
can heel hook the ledge to the right and push off from underneath the roof
with your left for a big positive hold about 8 inches further left. Get
your right hand up onto the same hold and then you can pull up to get both
feet on the shelf, right hip in. Exit by a couple of decent holds above. I
was going to call it Apeman after my favorite Kinks song, but Stuart
suggested Big Man On Campus for its campus style moves, and I agreed.
Consensus seemed to be around the .10a/b range. Bring a spotter and tape
your left fingers if you try it. It eats soft flesh for breakfast. Also,
it is a fairly height dependent problem, but people under 5'9" or so can
move further left for the start according to their reach.
Everyone has different plans for the day, so we all end up saying our
good-byes and heading off to get happy. Sue and I start out on Headstone
rock for SW arete and Cryptic. We get there only to find a crowd, but
decide to wait. While we do that, one of the ground crew starts in with the
tales of terror. It turns out that we just missed a spectacular fall off of
SW arete by a very green but determined kid. Apparently his belayer wasn't
holding the brake well enough, so when the leader blew off the mantle, he
dropped about 15 feet, down past the level of the deck, had it extended out
that far. Lucky for him it didn't. Must've been a Bond Man, he was
"shaken, not stirred" and got back on it to finish it out.
After the arete, we decide to pass on Cryptic for now due to long lines and
too much annoying banter, heading over to Sticher Quits instead. I'm
completely amazed to find no one at Echo Rock. The place is usually
swarming with people and the line for Sticher is hours. Kinda like the
Matterhorn. But we're in luck and we 'send that, taking in the great views
from the top. We meet a couple over at Echo Cove who suggest we try Fun
Stuff which they've just come off. Looks ok, not great but right here,
right now. The bottom section is fun, with thin, crimpy moves up to a bolt.
Follow some more thin face to a right leaning crack with large positive
holds. So far, so good. At the top of the crack, you have to traverse out
and over a bulge. This is where it gets "fun". I hated it. Probably good
for people 6'2" and over, but definitely a horror show for leaders who don't
like slopey holds on loose, grainy choss. The fall would be "fun", a
swinging 12' fall into a knobby face, likely tangled up in your rope which
would flip you head down into it. I spent a few hours making out my will,
asking myself just how important that new $55 Camalot Jr is anyway, why I'm
being such a wimp, oh yeah, the smashed skull thing..., why the *hell* did I
listen to that guy, is my foot starting to blow, will I look silly in a body
cast at the Christmas party? Test the move, come back, test the move, "yes,
I'm ok..." Will it go? God I stink! Ok, here goes...
I'm alive and well, sucking every available molecule of air in Echo Cove.
Set up the anchor and let Sue follow. She of course sails up it- "yeah,
that was ok! I really enjoyed those moves." Arrgh! Well, it's one more
climb I never have to do again...
I spy the Bachar TR wall from the top of Fun Stuff and remember the
interesting Peyote Crack on the other side. Sue is game, so we hike over
and rack up. Somewhat of a grunt, you can do it offwidth style or in
combination with a nice finger crack in the back. It takes pro nicely. I
see a huge nut left by someone and ask Sue to give it a try when she
follows. "Stick a fork in me, 'cause I'm DONE!" says Sue, and I can't agree
more. She promises to come back under better conditions to give it a fair
assessment. The nut remains for the next strong cleaner.
We decide we've had enough for one weekend, head back to the car and work
on a sunset tailgate party complete with Boddington's Pub Draft, crackers,
and cheese. All in all, a fantastic weekend to remember.