Candy Bars and backsides
Henry Hill
colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if you
are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
this. The reasons being.
1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff and
ridged therefore making chewing and swallowing difficult.
2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar melts
and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin surface.
I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe with
a medical background) could put this one to rest.
** Please remove all traces of DESPAMED when replying by e-mail **
Bob Austin
> colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if
you
> are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
A VERY worthwhile discussion.
> She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
Be sure to take the wrappers off. Remove fist after insertion.
> 1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff and
> ridged
Hmm...A new treatment for impotence if we could localize that syptoms.
> 2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar melts
> and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin surface.
Who said anything about MARS bars? Is this a troll/SPAM from MARS in yet
another lame attempt to increase your sagging bottm line (pun intended)?
IMHO, I think I'd prefer a tootsie roll (small bite-size).
> I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe
> with a medical background) could put this one to rest.
Hmmm...I have a medical background. My great-uncle on my mother's side was
a medic in WWI. So, I suppose that would make me an authority.
Good luck on your search for the greater knowledge.
BOB AUSTIN
GaryFike
<DESPAMED...@tesco.netDESPAMED> writes:
>My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with work
>colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if you
>are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
>She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
>this. The reasons being.
>1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff and
>ridged therefore making chewing and swallowing difficult.
I don't know about this. When I'm scared or cold me bunghole clams up so tight
you couldn't get a strand of spaghetti up much less a Baby Ruth.
>2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar melts
>and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin surface.
Mars bar? Sounds like a better job for a Uranus bar to me.
>I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe with
>a medical background) could put this one to rest.
I don't have a med background, but I'll ask my gay friends about all this...
HA! Sharpen your hooks everyone...
g.
M Jarvis
I am a Wilderness First Responder - call that a medical background if
you want.
Your original stipulation, that getting sugar into the blood stream
quickly in the advanced stages of hypothermia, is almost a
contradiction. Being so because in stage 3 hypothermia, self warming is
no longer possible, so what would be the point?
Stage 3 is also very susceptable to ventricular fibulation, and if you
start moving someone around, especially rolling them over to gain access
to the needed orifice, you subject your patient to needless risk. Better
to be hypothermic and alive than hypothermic and needing CPR far from
definitive medical care (i.e. hospital).
You are also exposing your patient to the cold, assuming you are still
out there.
If that didn't do it, realizing that you are injured/hypothermic and one
or more persons are stripping off your clothes and trying to shove
something into your rectum would probably cause shock to set in. (okay,
I'm kidding)
If conditions are so extreme that you would have to resort to these
measures, I'd save the candy bar for more healthy companions so that
they can stay warm while building a shelter, fire or going for help.
Stage 1 or two are another matter, but then the patient could *probably*
just eat the thing. Can you picture it, you're out cross country skiing
and your buddy is going south, so you say "Here Fred - shove this
Snicker's up your ass - you'll feel better". Ya right.
Thanks for getting my Sunday started right!
--
Matt Jarvis
mjarvis@<NOSPAM>peak.org (remove the "<NOSPAM>" for correct email
addressing.
Henry Hill wrote:
>
> My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with work
> colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if you
> are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
>
> She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
> this. The reasons being.
>
> 1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff and
> ridged therefore making chewing and swallowing difficult.
>
> 2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar melts
> and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin surface.
>
> I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe with
> a medical background) could put this one to rest.
>
Vicki Portman
I can't imagine a condition that *wouldn't* be cured by having somebody
insert a Mars bar up my bum.
Marianne Faithfull
Stevie T
you a good laugh on an otherwise dull Sunday.
This was a genuine question as my girlfriend wasn't sure where she had heard
this, but she is adamant that she wasn't dreaming at the time.
I'm in the UK, and got just humours responses from the UK newsgroup
(uk.rec.climbing). They were quite funny though. I'm not sure if you have
MARS bars in the US but they are very popular here and have nougat covered
with glucose/caramel and coated in chocolate.
The 'ribbed' effect, of the chocolate, on the bar would make the insertion
interesting, for the recipient, though not on the first date!
See ya.
Bob Harrington
Henry Hill <DESPAMED...@tesco.netDESPAMED> wrote:
>My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with work
>colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if you
>are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
>
>She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
>this.
This reminds me of a story I heard about Mick Jagger and Marianne Faithful,
though as far as I am aware, the situation was not initiated by hypothermia.
Cheers,
Bob
Mad Dog
>>My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with
>>work colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood
>>stream quickly if you are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
>>She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way
>>of achieving this.
If you want to research this hypothesis, I recommend a visit to Dream
Canyon. I think you'd find a few willing test subjects there.
Mad "so THAT'S why they call it the Hershey Highway!" Dog
John Venable III
Protection?
Michael Riches
<vpor...@uptails.REMOVETHISfreeserve.co.uk> wrote:
Ah come on Vicki...just one more trip to the
freezer???...pulllleeeeze...????
The Rockrat
Scott Presho
>I won't claim any personal experience with this, but here goes.....
>
>I am a Wilderness First Responder - call that a medical background if
>you want.
(snip)
>Stage 3 is also very susceptable to ventricular fibulation ....
What do ventricles and shin bones have to do with each other?
Seriously, I think that should be "fibrillation".
Given these circumstances, I won't call it a medical background.
Scott
grantm
Seriously though, in addition to M Jarvis' well-considered points, the rectum
(where the bar would likely only make it to) is not designed to absorb
nutrients on a scale to ameliorate the situation. Should the inserter find
the wherewithall to insert all the way to the colon, the situation still
doesn't change dramatically in that it is primarily designed as a water and
electrolyte balance checkpoint. Most of the complex nutrient transfer must
take place in the small intestine after enzymatic and acid treatment from the
upper GI.
But don't let science get in the way of what seems to be a truly sick
practical joke.... G
Geoff Bowles
Most of this group is probably very confused (Marianne who?)
By the way, whatever happened to that nice chap she was seeing?
Someone called Mick wasn't it?
Funny, he liked Mars bars too...
Geoff
(not that I remember the 1960's of course....)
<><><><><><><>
Steve Orrell wrote in message ...
>Vicki Portman recently said...
>
>>This sounds entirely plausible to me.
>>
>>I can't imagine a condition that *wouldn't* be cured by having somebody
>>insert a Mars bar up my bum.
>>
>>Marianne Faithfull
>
>No, no, no, no, no, if you're going to pretend to be someone else you've
>got to get the quote right, otherwise you just make a fool out of
>yourself... it wasn't a mars bar up her bum it was..... Oh, I see, yeah,
>sorry, my mistake, I, er, <cough>, nice weather we're having, eh wot?
>
>
>
>
>--
>Steve...
>--
>NMC web pages http://www.gpsinternet.com/NMC
>NMC Useful Links http//www.gpsinternet.com/NMC/useful_links.html
>
>*** Return e-mail address junked, remove capitals to activate
Matt Henry
<<I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe with
a medical background) could put this one to rest.>>
The rectum is a good route to administer drugs to an unconcious/uncooperative
patient (I can GUARANTEE they will be unco-operative if not unconcious, so this
cover a wide spectrum). I don't know how fast sugar absorption would be, since
it is in the form of sucrose. They would also absorb the cocoa alkaloids with
out a first pass to the liver. These are mild stimulants, so it might help, or
it might trigger cardiac arrhythmia.
The bacteria in the lower gut are adapted to live in a fairly low sugar
environment, and a candybar would be a bonanza to them... not very pleasant for
the recovering patient.
It's an OK idea in theory, but a terrible idea in practice.... especially with
any kind of almond containing product.
Duncan Irving
>
> Showing our age now, aren't we???
> Most of this group is probably very confused (Marianne who?)
>
> By the way, whatever happened to that nice chap she was seeing?
> Someone called Mick wasn't it?
Disappeared up his own arse after the Mars bar?
Dunc
--
Duncan HB Irving
Mountain Permafrost Group Tel: +44 (0)1222 874000 x6688
Department of Earth Sciences Fax: +44 (0)1222 874326
Cardiff University e-mail: irv...@cf.ac.uk
Vicki Portman
>
> Showing our age now, aren't we???
Speak for yourself, dear!!
>
> (not that I remember the 1960's of course....)
Ah, but doesn't it work that if you remember them you weren't there?
Vicki "child of the 70s" P
Vicki Portman
>
>
> Ah come on Vicki...just one more trip to the
> freezer???...pulllleeeeze...????
>
> The Rockrat
*sigh* <hiss> NOT in front of the newsgroup, Mike </hiss>
Vicki
Frederick A Weihe
>(where the bar would likely only make it to) is not designed to absorb
>nutrients on a scale to ameliorate the situation.
Well, while I never had to do this in the field myself, it is not
unknown among EMTs and the like to have to treat a diabetic having a
hypoglycemia-induced seizure by squeezing a tube of glucose syrup up the
butt. One of the paramedics I used to work with had a story about using
the squeezable, bear-shaped, honey bottle in the abode of just such a
patient. The event entered the vocabulary; honey-bear jokes continue to
this day.
The siezure part is relevant because it contraindicates anything going in
the mouth. The normal treatment for a hypoglycemic emergency is oral
glucose. Even if the patient is unconcious, the syrup can be rubbed on
the gums and inside of the cheek.
So, enough sugar can cross the walls of the rectum/colon to reverse
hypoglycemia. Reversing hypothermia probably requires more calories,
however. Before applying such a treatment, it may also be worth noting that
a typical hypothermia patient may have been in the backcountry without a
shower for several days.
cheers,
--
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Frederick A. Weihe Graduate Student Emeritus;
we...@umich.edu Center for Ultrafast Optical Science
H:7344811289 W:7347634875 F:7347634876
"One must imagine Sisyphus happy."
-Camus
Jim Procter
this?????
Jim
Vicki Portman <vpor...@uptails.REMOVETHISfreeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:7qufk4$pg1$1...@news4.svr.pol.co.uk...
Mack P. Muir
I don't want to get off subject, but I can't seem to get the <hiss> tags
to work with my newsreader. Is that some beta implementation of HTML?
It'd be very useful with threads like this...
--
Mack Patton Muir
Alexandria, VA
mack...@edisaurus.com
http://www.edisaurus.com
"It isn't life that matters, it's the courage
that you bring to it."
Hugh Walpole
Tim Webber
more please!
TimW
Jim Procter wrote in message <37d3d...@news2.cluster1.telinco.net>...
>Is anybody else disturbed by quite how much everyone is getting into
>this?????
>
>Jim
>
Andy Johnston
<37d3d...@news2.cluster1.telinco.net>...
> Is anybody else disturbed by quite how much everyone is getting into
> this?????
>
> Jim
Would that be Procter ..... or Proctologist ;-)
Andy
Duncan Irving
>
> Vicki Portman wrote:
> >
> > Michael Riches wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > Ah come on Vicki...just one more trip to the
> > > freezer???...pulllleeeeze...????
> > >
> > > The Rockrat
> >
> > *sigh* <hiss> NOT in front of the newsgroup, Mike </hiss>
> >
> > Vicki
>
> I don't want to get off subject, but I can't seem to get the <hiss> tags
> to work with my newsreader. Is that some beta implementation of HTML?
> It'd be very useful with threads like this...
>
There's a typo:
HTH
Dunc
it should close with <\hiss>
Michael Riches
<jim...@n05pam.postmaster.co.uk> wrote:
>Is anybody else disturbed by quite how much everyone is getting into
>this?????
>
>Jim
Yes...Yes...Yessss...Isn't great...
The Rockrat (cum to think of it....there has been a lot of repressed sexual
deviation going on lately, must be the adds)
Karl Baba
because I would hate to have to explain to greiving loved ones and law
enforement authorities what that candy bar was doing up there. People
in advanced stages of hypothermia are known to do crazy stuff anyway,
god knows what the final scene might be like.
Personally, when I am ready to make the great and final crossing over
the river of life into the next great adventure across infinity, I
don't want my final moments to include Dudley Doright cramming a candy
bar up my ass.
But that's just me
Peace
Karl
http://extra.newsguy.com/~climbing/
Yosemite Area Guiding (remove NOSPAM from the return address)
Linus
>Is anybody else disturbed by quite how much everyone is getting into
>this?????
Not at all. Didn't you know all climbers are sexually repressed? It's
true, someone said so here a while back. And haven't you ever wondered
why we affectionately call the group 'youarsey'? Don't worry, though.
You'll get used to it. Eventually.
Mike Smedley
Vicki Portman wrote in message <7qufk4$pg1$1...@news4.svr.pol.co.uk>...
>This sounds entirely plausible to me.
>
>insert a Mars bar up my bum.
>
>Marianne Faithfull
>
fair point, well made.
and look on the bright side - could have been a Toblerone.
Mike "yeeouch" Smedley
Vicki Portman
ROFL.
Or Maltesers - amazing fallout potential: "Look, Mum, I'm a rabbit!"
Vicki
Matt Schofield
>
> Or Maltesers - amazing fallout potential: "Look, Mum, I'm a rabbit!"
>
9/10 - Well done Portman! You can leave early!
RFLANMELYOG or whatever they say round these parts.
Terar
Matt Schofield
--
Return email address junked
rxb...@my-deja.com
much as you need to get that person warm, fast.
If your girlfriend really wants to shove a candy bar up someone's ass I
don't think it would work very well. The chocolate is mostly fat which
wouldn't be readily absorbed by the colon tissues. I'd think that GU or
some other liquid form of glucose would be much better. But when that
person wakes up and finds their ass overflowing with thick, white,
vanilla GU, hmmmmmmmmmm.
-RMB
> My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with work
> colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly
if you
> are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
>
> She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of
achieving
> this. The reasons being.
>
> 1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff
and
> ridged therefore making chewing and swallowing difficult.
>
> 2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar
melts
> and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin
surface.
>
> I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe
with
> a medical background) could put this one to rest.
>
> ** Please remove all traces of DESPAMED when replying by e-mail **
>
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
Dingus Milktoast
rxb...@my-deja.com wrote:
>
> If your girlfriend really wants to shove a candy bar up someone's ass I
> don't think it would work very well.
It might not, but it could be interesting to watch anyway! I would think the
kind of candy bar would be important. A Kit Kat, for instance, would
probably be NBD. But a Goo Goo (if you're not a southerner then you just
don't get it) would probably be a PDH. And a Butterfinger, well, I just
don't want to go there.
> But when that
> person wakes up and finds their ass overflowing with thick, white,
> vanilla GU, hmmmmmmmmmm.
Um, how would they know it was vanilla?
DMT
Michael Riches
<gu...@NOSPAMnewsguy.com> wrote:
>Personally, when I am ready to make the great and final crossing over
>the river of life into the next great adventure across infinity, I
>don't want my final moments to include Dudley Doright cramming a candy
>bar up my ass.
>
>But that's just me
>
>Peace
>
>Karl
>http://extra.newsguy.com/~climbing/
>Yosemite Area Guiding (remove NOSPAM from the return address)
What a spoilsport...Since when do we worry about the consequences of our
actions around here...I say damn the torpedoes and full bars ahead...Of
course this is a technique that should never be tried by someone that has
never done this before, as such I vote we start the
rec.climbing/rectal.insertion/hypothermia.intervention classes. Putzl will
sponsor this unique and necessary course. We will be holding interviews for
just that special "ass"istant, serious applicants only. Pay will be
commensurate with experience (and a few other "minor" qualifications). There
will be benefits plus all the Mars bars you can eat...If you'll contact me
personally, I'll take all applications and do a prescreening before I waste
your time and mine with a senseless interview...
The Rockrat
Vicki Portman
>
> We will be holding interviews for
> just that special "ass"istant, serious applicants only. Pay will be
> commensurate with experience (and a few other "minor" qualifications). There
> will be benefits plus all the Mars bars you can eat...
I'm tempted to ask if that'll be piles of them?
But instead, I'll just check that the Mars bars I'm eating - I get to
take them out the wrapper myself, right?? I mean, we're not talking
used goods here, are we Mike??
Vicki
ANT...
Linus wrote in message <37d49...@news2.cluster1.telinco.net>...
...
> Not at all. Didn't you know all climbers are sexually repressed? It's
>true, someone said so here a while back. And haven't you ever wondered
>why we affectionately call the group 'youarsey'? Don't worry, though.
>You'll get used to it. Eventually.
Once you're properly stretched you mean? For *climbing* obviously.
--
ANT...
`There is no failure, except in no longer trying.'
Karl Lew
> >I don't want my final moments to include Dudley Doright cramming a candy
> >bar up my ass.
> I say damn the torpedoes and full bars ahead...
> The Rockrat
Oooooooo, Mike. You accommodate torpedoes?
Wider is better, but *wow*.
--Karl
Linus
>> Not at all. Didn't you know all climbers are sexually repressed? It's
>>true, someone said so here a while back. And haven't you ever wondered
>>why we affectionately call the group 'youarsey'? Don't worry, though.
>>You'll get used to it. Eventually.
>Once you're properly stretched you mean? For *climbing* obviously.
Of course. Flexibility is *so* important for climbers. The ability to
stretch a muscle beyond normal limits can be the difference between
success and failure in today's athletic endeavours...
-------------------------------------------------
Leicester University Mountaineering Club Website
Now available at:
http://lumc.star.le.ac.uk/mcsoc.html
Probably.
Michael Riches
madb...@aol.com.XSPAM (Rex Pieper) wrote:
>You're one sick rat. Make all my bars Topless please.
>
>-Rex Pieper
>
>remove ".XSPAM" from signature to reply
Yea...Ain't it great!!!...Can you spell Pre-vert???
The Rockrat (What's really bad is all it takes to get me into the mood is
the smell of burning candle wax...)
Robert Fonda
come back to? You all are busy sticking candy bars up each others asses. How
dare you leave me out of the fun. You all should be ashamed of your selves
for not inviting me.
I'm am truly hurt, I think I'll go the way of RockORR and Petzl13! You guys
all suck!
By the way, if this is all his girlfriend and her colleagues have to debate
at work, then I want a job!
--
Robert "Sniff" Fonda
"Gravity is a harsh mistress!" The Tic
"So is terra firma" r.f
Henry Hill <DESPAMED...@tesco.netDESPAMED> wrote in message
news:W6tA3.9568$fl2.2...@nnrp4.clara.net...
Rex Pieper
> >bar up my ass.
> >Karl Baba
> I say damn the torpedoes and full bars ahead...
> The Rockrat
You're one sick rat. Make all my bars Topless please.
Tim Yorath
Tim 'Impressed'
Karl Lew wrote:
>
> > >I don't want my final moments to include Dudley Doright cramming a candy
> > >bar up my ass.
> > >Karl Baba
>
> > I say damn the torpedoes and full bars ahead...
> > The Rockrat
>
Duncan Watson
-Duncan
On Wed, 08 Sep 1999 22:44:49 -0600, "Michael Riches"
<rock...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>In article <19990908235009...@ng-fy1.aol.com> ,
>madb...@aol.com.XSPAM (Rex Pieper) wrote:
>
>>You're one sick rat. Make all my bars Topless please.
>>
>>-Rex Pieper
>>
>>remove ".XSPAM" from signature to reply
>
>
>Yea...Ain't it great!!!...Can you spell Pre-vert???
>
>The Rockrat (What's really bad is all it takes to get me into the mood is
>the smell of burning candle wax...)
>
----
Once dj...@yahoo.com (still)
now cli...@ioSPAMONTOAST.com
Once a Gunky now a Munchen
Jim Procter
As for actually being unhealthy.....I think we'd have to ask the rockrat.
Jim
Tim Yorath <tyo...@ford.com> wrote in message
news:37D7909B...@ford.com...
Crack Boy
> "ANT..." <a...@ThiSbIt.cs.keele.ac.uk> wrote:
> >> Not at all. Didn't you know all climbers are sexually repressed? It's
> >>true, someone said so here a while back. And haven't you ever wondered
> >>why we affectionately call the group 'youarsey'? Don't worry, though.
> >>You'll get used to it. Eventually.
>
> >Once you're properly stretched you mean? For *climbing* obviously.
>
> Of course. Flexibility is *so* important for climbers. The ability to
> stretch a muscle beyond normal limits can be the difference between
> success and failure in today's athletic endeavours...
And... rob (not Rob) can tell you how it could lead to injury and
weakening of the immune system!
Crack "not THAT kind of Aids climbing" Boy
Dan Goodman
> I still contend that this is fundamentally disturbing...........
>
And, like Karl Baba, I don't want Dudley Doright disturbing my fundament in
my final moments...
Dan "if you don't get it, you could look it up" Goodman
Dan Goodman
> Of course. Flexibility is *so* important for climbers. The ability to
> stretch a muscle beyond normal limits can be the difference between
> success and failure in today's athletic endeavours...
>
Is that why sport climbers bolt up cracks?
Dan "was that lycra or latex you were wearing?" Goodman
Michele
> fair point, well made.
> and look on the bright side - could have been a Toblerone.
or a curley whirley X-O
love Mich
Michael Riches
Watson) wrote:
>Why bring green scaled people into this now?
>-Duncan
Nooo...That's Pre-vert....Uh...Merkin slang for Morale Degenerate???...
The Rockrat (then again, that sounds a lot like my Ex, Uh....Merkin
slang...Lot Lizard???)
Vicki Portman
Jim Procter wrote in message <37d7c...@news2.cluster1.telinco.net>...
>I still contend that this is fundamentally disturbing...........
Yup.
If it's disturbing anything other than your fundament, you're doing it
wrong.
HTH
Vicki
Duncan Watson
I thought a Pre-vert was a guy named Aahz who hung out with this guy
Skeeve.
On the other hand I think he would appreciate a mars bar but not a
torpedo.
-Duncan
----
Vicki Portman
Robert Fonda wrote in message <37d71...@204.140.208.3>...
>Oh boy, I take off for 5 days of climbing, nearly kill myself, and what do
I
>come back to? You all are busy sticking candy bars up each others asses.
>You guys
>all suck!
Is this your solution to the recommendation that glucose is best
administered orally??
Vicki "I'll pass" P
Mad Dog
>Oh boy, I take off for 5 days of climbing, nearly kill myself,
>and what do I come back to? You all are busy sticking candy
>fun. You all should be ashamed of your selves for not inviting me.
Robert, I think I speak for most R.C'ers when I say that we believe that
you should stick a candy bar up your butt, or the butt of one of your
close friends, whenever the mood strikes you.
Actually, I'd rather hear about your near-death experience.
Mad "ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute" Dog
Karl Lew
I
> come back to? You all are busy sticking candy bars up each others asses.
How
> dare you leave me out of the fun. You all should be ashamed of your selves
> for not inviting me.
Toblerones can be...sharp. Welcome back!
--Karl
Rex Pieper
>Robert, <snip>
>Actually, I'd rather hear about your near-death experience.
C'mon Robert...spill it or I will...You should know better than to allude
to "gossip" here without tellin' the gory details...
Oh, and while I'm dispensing new nicknames, I dub ye, Robert "Crash"
Fonda.
-Rex "Snickers" Pieper
Eric D. Coomer
Mad Dog <mad...@concentric.net> wrote in message
news:37D8E6...@concentric.net...
> Mad "ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute" Dog
Well, there you go. I never thought I'd see a GG Allen reference
here. The Horror.
Cheers
Eric
Mad Dog
> Mad Dog wrote:
> > Mad "ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up your poop chute" Dog
> Well, there you go. I never thought I'd see a GAG Allen reference
> here. The Horror.
Sorry to let you down, but I was actually singing part of a song by
Frank Zappa titled "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes". Are you telling me
FZ swiped it?
Mad "wrist watch, Crisco" Dog
Crack Boy
It's FZ's baby (and it's only 3 ram it's).
Crack "Dumb all over, and a little ugly on the side" Boy
Steven Cherry
>Toblerones can be...sharp. Welcome back!
Oh, great, Karl, that's just what we need, a thread about the
ethics of comfortizing candy bars.
-steven-
--
<ste...@panix.com>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
It's hard to successfully maintain a bad mood for an entire
three hour approach. -- Tom Dunwiddie, rec.climbing
Karl Lew
> Oh, great, Karl, that's just what we need, a thread about the
> ethics of comfortizing candy bars.
> -steven-
Nuts.
--Karl
Mad Dog
>Jeez, you geezers!!!
At least this geezer can count past three.
>It's FZ's baby (and it's only 3 ram it's).
Bzzt! Thanks for entering, but you are in error. Four, no more, no
less. Old geezers such as myself have listened to it WAAAY too many
times to mess up this one. Go back to the white zone.
>Crack "Dumb all over, and a little ugly on the side" Boy
I won't argue with you on that one.
Mad "You sniffed the reeking buns of angels, and acted like it
was cocaine" Dog
Robert Fonda
matter how close to death she is, if "You try a Hershey rescue, I will KILL
YOU!".
--
Robert "Sticking to conventional First Aid" Fonda
"Gravity is a harsh mistress!" The Tic
"So is terra firma" r.f
Vicki Portman <vpor...@uptails.REMOVETHISfreeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:7ravmk$qsp$2...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
>
> Robert Fonda wrote in message <37d71...@204.140.208.3>...
> >Oh boy, I take off for 5 days of climbing, nearly kill myself, and what
do
> I
> >come back to? You all are busy sticking candy bars up each others asses.
Vicki Portman
Karl Lew wrote in message <7rc55e$dq9$1...@news.intuit.com>...
Topic?
Vicki "I bet it's called something different there" P
Karl Lew
asked to surrender, bend over and take the big one by
them German baddies.
--Karl "YCBMV"
Vicki Portman <vpor...@uptails.REMOVETHISfreeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:7rej59$u7l$1...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk...
Kern Mantle
-[]-My girlfriend is currently having a bit of a heated debate with work
-[]-colleagues about one way to get sugar into your blood stream quickly if you
-[]-are in the advanced stages of hypothermia.
-[]-
-[]-She heard that sticking a candy bar up your bum is a good way of achieving
-[]-this. The reasons being.
-[]-
-[]-1) In the advanced stages of hypothermia your muscles become stiff and
-[]-ridged therefore making chewing and swallowing difficult.
-[]-
-[]-2) The soft and warm tissue "down below" means that the mars bar melts
-[]-and is absorbed into the blood vessels that run close to the skin surface.
-[]-
-[]-I know this is a newsgroup about climbing but I thought someone (maybe with
-[]-a medical background) could put this one to rest.
-[]-
-[]-** Please remove all traces of DESPAMED when replying by e-mail **
-[]-
-[]-
-[]-
But Hershey bars are wide and flat!!!1!
--
KotAGoR XXVI since 1999
Per's Sleaze List (The Official) Unit#23
http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/
Robert Fonda
and for Mad Dog's enjoyment. See, I knew we should have gone to the Valley
(fucking Sandstone, pretty to look at, but to hold pro?!).
Yeah read Jean's TR, gives a good explanation from her perspective. From
mine, one minute I am happily aiding up a roof, next moment I am attempting
flight. Backwards, head first, smacking the back of my head on the wall 3
times no less. Thank god for helmets.
It was truly an exciting experience. I have taken some leader falls, but
nothing like that. About all I remember was, PING! "Here I go." Then, "Gee,
I am going a long ways.". Oh well, I ditched the pain pills (nasty things
indeed), and replaced them with mass quantities of beer (much better).
Oh wonderful, now I have a reputation and a nickname. Christ, my DOGS won't
climb with me either.
--
Robert "I thought the idea of this climbing thing was to go up, not down?!"
Fonda
"Gravity is a harsh mistress!" The Tic
"So is terra firma" r.f
Rex Pieper <madb...@aol.com.XSPAM> wrote in message
news:19990910125022...@ng-fc1.aol.com...
Robert Fonda
process!
--
r.f
"Gravity is a harsh mistress!" The Tic
"So is terra firma" r.f
Robert Fonda <r...@singular.com> wrote in message
news:37da7...@204.140.208.3...
Thread Extender ver. 2.3
Doo-dah! Doo-dah!!!!2!
Think Camptown Races, fuckhead.
Karl Baba
Did you have the rope between your legs when you fell, or was it just
the weight of the rack that sent you backwards. I have taken a few of
those upside down falls myself. How did you break your ankle falling
upside down?
Don't worry, there are lots of people who have fetishes for other
people's suffering who would love to climb with you now that you are
such a "sure thing".
Peace and Love Bro, Heal, then revenge on the stone!
Karl
In article <37da7...@204.140.208.3>, "Robert Fonda"
<r...@singular.com> wrote:
http://extra.newsguy.com/~climbing/
Yosemite Area Guiding (remove NOSPAM from the return address)
greg mushial
<jim...@n05pam.postmaster.co.uk> wrote:
>Is anybody else disturbed by quite how much everyone is getting into
>this?????
<snip>
>
>> This sounds entirely plausible to me.
>>
>> I can't imagine a condition that *wouldn't* be cured by having somebody
>> insert a Mars bar up my bum.
>>
>> Marianne Faithfull
>>
Do I detect the beginnings of Vulgarian Digest #4 in the making??
=greg
RCBS.Load information available at www.gmdr.com
Robert Fonda
moving into my second steps to clip a fixed pin on the headwall. I was
attempting to hook my fifi to my daisies when the damn piece pulled. So I
was already leaning backwards. Suffice it to say, not much was required
after that. As far as my ankle goes, I can't exactly figure out what
happened. Maybe I smacked it on the wall on the way down. Who knows, I
certainly remember my bouncing off the wall 3 times, but not my ankle. Go
figure.
A sure thing? Hmmmm..... Not too sure about that either, but I have worked
too damn hard to back off now. Who knows, maybe my dogs will forgive me.
--
r.f
"Gravity is a harsh mistress!" The Tic
"So is terra firma" r.f
Karl Baba <gu...@NOSPAMnewsguy.com> wrote in message
news:110919992204193990%gu...@NOSPAMnewsguy.com...
Crunt
Anywho, now back to dreaming of my Jewish princess with titanic tits and
a pre-moistened dumper.
Sheik Yerbouti
Vicki Portman
Karl Lew wrote
>Oh, some famous Merkin general responded "Nuts" when
>asked to surrender, bend over and take the big one by
>them German baddies.
>--Karl "YCBMV"
!! Topic, as in a local (ie English) candy bar, stuffed full of nuts, and
therefore commonly referred to as squirrel shit.
That's why I thought you might call it something different...
Vicki "MCBDV" P
Karl Lew
Oh, I thought you said I was Off Topic...
but after your description, I guess the
Topic would be somewhat Off after first use.
--Karl "GROAN"
Michael Labbee
hearing a couple in the next tent over apparently engaged in an amorous
coupling. At one point, the woman exclaimed "Stick it in me bum!" I guess
she just had hypothermia . . .
Vicki Portman <vpor...@uptails.REMOVETHISfreeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:7qufk4$pg1$1...@news4.svr.pol.co.uk...
Michael Riches
<mla...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>A friend of mine recently related the story of
>hearing a couple in the next tent over apparently engaged in an amorous
>coupling.
O.K....I have to tell this one. We did a quick turnaround on Timp this
weekend (That's a little eleven thousand foot peak in my back yard). Utah
valley here is very, very predominantly Mormon. That means public displays
of an amorous nature are almost rated up there with crimes of a violent
kind....murder, rape, armed robbery and the likes... Sooo, we are almost
back to the trail head and we hear this strangled kind of gurglee cry. It
wasn't real loud and so we almost missed it. We hushed and it came again,
only this time it was real loud and real raspy....and then it was real loud,
real raspy and real rythmetic....They couldn't have been more than five feet
off of the trail, it was sooooo tempting to slip in, take a couple of quick
pictures and then mail them to them in a week or so, but I didn't have the
heart....besides, it might have even shocked an old salt like me....with my
luck it would have been two of the football team's finest practicing
hypothermia techniques....
The Rockrat (Squeeeezzzzze my lemonnnnn....oooohhhhh baaaayybeee)
Geoff Bowles
Prolongs the foreplay, anyway....
Would a large box of maltesers be any good?
Geoff
<><><><><><>
Michael Labbee wrote in message
<7rm5qo$c8u$1...@birch.prod.itd.earthlink.net>...
>This explains EVERYTHING! A friend of mine recently related the story of
>hearing a couple in the next tent over apparently engaged in an amorous
Martin Richardson
<ge...@bowles.force9.co.uk> writes
>But I thought "the Lady loved Milk tray"
>
>Prolongs the foreplay, anyway....
>Would a large box of maltesers be any good?
>
What about those sweets that melt in your mouth not in your hand - what
would happen?
Welcome to the (~uiff Woodsave
· ° ° · °
° · ° ·
° · · Martin Richardson
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