It has been a damn long time since this country had any problems that
weren't directly caused or deliberately worsened by GOP psychopaths -
certainly longer than my lifetime. Let's take a little stroll down
memory lane:
Ronald Reagan sells missiles to Iran, an avowed enemy of the United
States, in order to fund fascist terrorist insurgencies in Central
America. The word for this is treason. GOP yawns. "What'r y'all
gittin' worked up about? Stoopid libruls."
Reagan deploys US Marines to Beirut for no apparent reason, with no
apparent mission other than to "establish a presence" (the actual,
official term used for it) and 241 of them are killed in a terrorist
attack. GOP yawns. "So...is this going to raise my taxes? No? Thank
God, for a moment I thought something bad had happened."
Reagan finishes Presidency with an economy in ruins and the
distinction of having the most appointees convicted of felonies in all
of American history. GOP response: "BEST...PREZDINT...EVUH!!1!"
Bill Clinton deploys 160 US Army Rangers to Somalia to capture a
warlord who has killed US and other troops protecting food shipments to
starving civilians. The operation has UN Security Council backing, and
is an extension of operations first undertaken under the Presidency of
Republican George HW Bush. The rules of engagement are unclear and the
operation goes awry, resulting in 18 US fatalities. GOP: "It's like
Vietnam! Clinton is a madman throwing away American lives! He has
betrayed our brave soldiers!"
Bill and Hillary Clinton were victims of real estate fraud in the
1980s - another glorious legacy of the deregulated Reagan era. When
Republicans take over Congress, this results in the perpetual
investigation of the Clinton administration, at an ultimate total cost
to taxpayers of nearly $80 million, resulting in one resignation from
federal office, one prosecution of a federal appointee, and zero
convictions of administration appointees. GOP: "Sleaziest, most
scandal-plagued so-called Prezdint evuh!!1! Now we gotta cut more
edumacation and welfare, cuz fiscal responsimability."
Clinton appointee Vince Foster commits suicide. Numerous
GOP-insisted investigations follow, and all conclude it was a suicide.
GOP inference: "He was merdred!" Later, when Dick Cheney shoots man in
the face, doesn't deny it, and isn't even investigated for it - "Uh, he
prolly had it coming! He's prolly a tayrist!"
A Clinton White House appointee improperly requests and receives
FBI background reports. It's such a heinous violation of
confidentiality that it gets its own "-gate" - Filegate - but in the
subsequent regime of George W. Bush, such violations become known as
Tuesdays and Thursdays, and questioning them becomes grounds for being
labeled a terrorist sympathizer. One Clinton appointee resigns over the
action, and no evidence is ever found of criminal wrongdoing despite a
thorough Ken Starr-brand colonoscopy of the administration. GOP
response: "What izzis Nazi Jerminy? I thought this was Amurrca! Whar's
ma freedom?"
President Clinton is sued while in office for sexual harassment.
GOP insists he must give a sworn deposition (unlike Bush and Cheney's
later statements to the 9/11 Commission, which were neither sworn nor
even recorded - because Freedom). "A'course he has to, just like
anybuddy else! What izzis Nazi Jerminy? I thought this was Amurrca!
Whar's ma freedom?"
Clinton splits verbal hairs over the definition of sexual relations
in deposition. GOP makes him second US President in history to have
impeachment proceedings go to trial in the Senate. GOP response:
"Liar!!1! Lie-uhhhhh! Impeach! Tyranny tyranny! No one is above the
law! Whar's ma freedom?"
Five of nine Supreme Court Justices nullify vote of the American
people and the people of Florida, installs George W. Bush in White
House. GOP: "The people have spoken! Freedom! Yeee-hawr!"
Bush embarks on a program of using government power to impose his
bizarre, fringe religious beliefs on the American people, appointing a
religious fundamentalist Attorney General who covers the Statue of
Justice in the DOJ headquarters in a burka because her tits are showing.
Bans federal funding of embryonic stem cell research, just because he
personally has a problem with it even though almost no one else does.
Over several years, also introduces Creationist dogma into official
National Parks literature, and has political appointees try to force
NASA to shut up about global warming. GOP response: "Ah believe in
Amurrca, and in Amurrca we believe in Freedom. Like ma Freedom to teach
you about Jeeeeeesus with your own taxpayer money, whether you like it
or not." Investigations: 0.
Bush/Cheney fires Clinton administration terrorism task force out
of reckless partisan spite in first few months in office. 9/11 happens
a few months later after report 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the
US' is completely ignored and its author punished for daring to reach
conclusions not approved in advance by regime Commissars. Resulting
investigations of the White House: 0. Demands for impeachment: 0.
Demands for resignation: 0. GOP response to 9/11: "God bless George W.
Bush, heroic defender of freedom and Amurrca! How dare you not grovel
on the floor before him in awe, lowly mortal?! How daaaaaare you???!!1!"
Bush regime sets up a network of torture camps where it disappears
thousands of people for any reason it pleases, as long as it pleases,
and tortures them for years on end - including a few children and people
they knew to be innnocent of any wrongdoing, apparently just because
they could and because they revel in pure evil. Several prisoners are
brutally murdered in the process, and the rest are hidden from the Red
Cross. In other words, the regime operates like a third world
dictatorship, totally above all laws and human decency. Resulting
investigations of the White House: 0 (the Taguba investigation into Abu
Ghraib was explicitly prohibited from extending to Executive
appointees). Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "Of course they tortured,
murdered, disappeared people, and burned the evidence. Because Freedom!"
Bush cuts rich people's taxes over, and over, and over while
declaring the US to be in a state of emergency requiring trillions of
dollars of new spending. GOP response: "Thank Gowd we finally got a
fiscally responsimable Prezdint!" Bush claims it will help the economy.
It doesn't. GOP response: "Keep comin' with the tax cuts! We're
bound to hit the helpful part sooner or later!"
Ari Fleischer responds to criticism of the regime by warning
reporters to be very, very careful what they say under the New Order
post-9/11, but realizes that sounds bad and has official transcripts
edit it out. When the illegal editing is pointed out, he says it was an
honest transcription error. Investigations: 0. Demands for
resignation: 0. GOP response: (Yawn). What are we gonna do,
investigate every time the White House falsifies government documents?
If we did that, the tayrists win!
Bush regime commits worst acts of treason since the Civil War,
embarks on program of falsifying intelligence and lying to Congress and
the American people in order to justify invading Iraq - a country with
no practical ability to attack the US or even its own neighbors. The UN
refuses to support it. Intelligence professionals who contradict the
Party line are retaliated against, as well as their families. Bush is
eager to invade, seizing the first excuse to pull out weapons inspectors
and order an attack. He is literally glowing with glee as he talks
about doing so. Human lives lost: Hundreds of thousands of civilians
and counting, and over 5,000 American soldiers. Contrast with reaction
to Somalia. Made the world justifiably hate America for nearly a
decade, drove countless people in the Muslim world to become terrorists
that will continue to threaten our society, and destroyed all US moral
authority. Financial cost: Over $1 trillion. Investigations: 0.
Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "We're liberators! We're gonna turn the
Middle East into Texas and convert them to Christianity, yahoo! Freedom
freedom! We respect your freedom to die if you don't like it!"
Top criminals involved in Enron collapse intimately involved with
highest levels of Bush White House and Republican Party. Investigations
into these relationships: 0. Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "What,
can't a guy have long, deep financial, political, and personal
relationships with a multi-billion-dollar criminal fraud conspiracy
without being investigated in any way, shape, or form? It's not like
this is Whitewater - this is a Republican we're talking about!"
Bush regime issues fake terror alerts to bolster poll numbers
during 2004 election. It happens like clockwork - dip in polls, terror
alert. Dip in polls, White House says we're on the verge of Armageddon.
Investigations: 0. Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "What's with all
the whacky conspiracy theories, you silly libruls? Yer crazy. These
reports about terrorists imminently planning to hijack the Space Shuttle
are clearly credible!"
Bush regime attempts to redefine fast food work as "manufacturing"
to bolster economic stats. Investigations: 0. GOP response: "Well sure
it's manufacturing! They put the lettuce, burger, and tomato on the bun
and then put another bun on it - same thing as putting together a car in
a Ford factory! Stoopid libruls, you know nothing about bidness.
Bush sets bar to unprecedented new lows for unqualified crony
appointments, dishing out critical federal positions (like FEMA
director) like party favors to random incompetents with no experience
who are family friends or cronies of political allies. One of them
resigns after he contributes to the preventable post-hurricane deaths of
hundreds of Americans in New Orleans after refusing the aid of foreign
ships just off the coast in order to work on setting up corrupt no-bid
contracts for political cronies. Investigations into the Bush White
House's crony appointments: 0. Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "Niggers
should learn to swim."
Bush White House legal advisors say Bush is a King appointed by God
with the divine right to do whatever he wants, is above the laws of mere
mortals, and (yes, they literally said this) has the authority to
lawfully order a child's testicles crushed with a hammer.
Investigations of the White House: 0. Impeachments: 0. GOP response:
"All Hail the Glorious Leader Bush, beloved of God! Death to his
blasphemous doubters! I just love his Small Gubmint conservatism!"
Bush sends the IRS after the NAACP. Investigations: 0.
Impeachments: 0. GOP response: "It's about time someone put them in
their place. Uppity n-...err...libruls."
Bush regime politicizes the DOJ, firing US Attorneys who refuse to
engage in politically-motivated prosecutions of the regime's Democratic
opponents. Finally an investigation occurs in 2007, thanks to a
Democratic majority in Congress, in the next-to-last year of the regime,
but - of course - does not extend into the White House, because that
would just be too partisan. Since this is a Republican regime, no
independent investigation occurs into whether criminal activity took
place - it's just a low-broil scandal followed by a handful of
resignations, including of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. You know,
the guy who declared torture legal and totally got away with it. GOP
response: "I wish you libruls would stop all these politically-motivated
Congressional investigations, we're drowning in 'em! There's been a
whole one since Bush took office - what is this, the Salem witch trials?"
Bush regime ignores Congressional subpoenas whenever they feel like
it, cavalierly citing Executive Privilege more than every other
administration in US history combined. Cheney refuses subpoenas on the
grounds that he personally is the Fourth Branch of US government, and
exempt from the US Constitution. Investigations: 0. Impeachments: 0.
GOP response: "If you want to know something, you should ask the
Glorious Leader nicely, prostrate on the floor in front of him and
praising his joyous name, not be all subpoena-y. Ya big meanies."
CIA is ordered to burn all videotapes of their torture of terrorism
suspects to hide evidence that could be used against them and their
superiors in war crimes prosecutions. This is called obstruction of
justice, and they admitted it. Invesigations: 0. Impeachments: 0. GOP
response: "Phew! That's a relief. Freedom is now safe from human
rights and rule of law.
Bush and Cheney publicly admit and brag about committing torture.
Investigations: 0. Impeachments: 0. Criminal prosecutions: 0.
Bush's total deregulation of banks and Wall Street, and flooding
the stock market with speculative money through tax-cut giveaways to the
rich results in the most massive fraud in history - the bundling and
false quality-labeling of worthless mortgages and then sale of those
bundles as securities. The US economy teeters on the verge of imminent
Soviet-style collapse thanks to Bush's economic and fiscal policies. To
avert the crisis, his Treasury secretary hands out trillions of dollars
to the same banks who committed the fraud, without condition and without
changing the policies that created it. Then Bush leaves power with the
national economy and government in ruins. Congressional investigations
into the Bush White House due to the crisis: 0. Impeachments: 0.
Criminal investigations into the Bush WH: 0. GOP response, months
before Obama took office: "The Obama Recession is in full swing!"
Bush leaves power having presided over the most unhinged,
murdering, criminal, lying, thieving, psychotic regime in US history,
having daily wiped his ass with the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of
Independence, democracy, the Enlightenment, the Renaissance, science,
history, Western civilization, and common decency every day for eight
years. Merely the publicly-known crimes against humanity and the
republic by Bush and his associates would fill a phone book, and
everyone in the fucking world other than Republicans in the US hated and
still hates them with the fury of a thousand exploding stars. Final
stats on Bush regime: No top White House official, let alone Bush
himself, ever compelled to testify under oath about anything; Dick
Cheney not even questioned about the criminal activities of his aide
Scooter Libby or shooting a guy in the face; no impeachments; no
investigations directly into the White House whatsoever, under any
circumstances. Final GOP word on the Bush regime: "Prezdint Bush made
me proud to be Amurrcan! Those were the days! Let's go back to them!"
Black man becomes President of the United States. GOP response,
day one onward: "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! TyrannY! KENyan
Soshlist Niggertude!1!! Whar's ma freedom! Whazziz Nazi Jerminy? His
blackness is takin away ma freedom! Like Hitler!"
http://tinyurl.com/ahokuj7