Say Goodbye to "Garbage Can" Boats!

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Chris Bell

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Apr 1, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/1/98
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RipItUp International, soon to be the foremost name in high
performance kayaking, is pleased to announce the introduction
of the creek boat that will set the standard for the new
millennium -- the Green Scream Machine.

With a hull made entirely of Zylox -- a revolutionary material
first used on the Space Shuttle and adapted for kayaking by
the UNC-Asheville Institute for Applied Whitewater Technology
-- this boat is guaranteed against cracking for a full five
years. This is a 100% guarantee. No need to worry about
prorating when you buy from RipItUp!

Principals in RipItUp International include chief designer
Hugh "don't blame me, you're mistaking me for my father" Kelly
and head test pilot Leland "a Leland boating year = 7 of
anyone else's boating years" Davis.

Given our principal's combination of years of whitewater
experience on many of the world's most technical and
destructive waters with superlative rodeo and extreme
downriver racing experience, you can be sure a boat bearing
the RipItUp logo will surpass the performance of every other
boat on the market.

To learn more about RipItUp International and our soon to be
full line of state-of-the-art Zylox river craft, visit our web
page at http://www.unca.edu/econ/RipItUp.html.

-- Chris Bell, CEO, RipItUp International

Scott Bristow

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Apr 1, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/1/98
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How the heck do you think we would fall for something like this. Most of
your team is not smart enough to figure out how to use two bladed paddles
much less design boats.

Everybody know that Zylox is great for heat and UV but it flakes off so if
you leave it in your frontyard it will last forever but pieces will
continually flake off.

You have also infringed on Corrans trademarked name of Rip for his clothing
and accessory line. If you will stoop to that level to infringe on his name
your boats will most certainly be cheap copies of his designs. You remind
me of those people from years ago who marketed Koke Cola and thought that
would fly

Scott Bristow

Chris Bell wrote in message <6fuarp$d3s...@econ.unca.edu>...

ema...@buncombe.main.nc.us

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Apr 1, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/1/98
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In article <6fud13$s...@camel15.mindspring.com>,

"Scott Bristow" <scot...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
> How the heck do you think we would fall for something like this. Most of
> your team is not smart enough to figure out how to use two bladed paddles
> much less design boats.

Maybe so for part of our team (don't confuse our chief designer for his Dad),
but while that part of our team that has, on occasion, chosen, uh, novel
lines through Sunshine when confronted with two blades, at least he always
returns from the Green with all his equipment!

> Everybody know that Zylox is great for heat and UV but it flakes off so if
> you leave it in your frontyard it will last forever but pieces will
> continually flake off.

You're confusing Zylox for the stuff NASA uses to coats the re-entry
panels. Zylox is used to build the escape pods. It is designed to
withstand temperature extremes far beyond anything that would crack
polyethelyne pods and to survive collisions with the Russian space
station and extended surfs on the Jovian gases. Cartwheels in shallow
holes and 10 foot boofs onto rock are cake for this stuff. It holds its
edge forever (according to our unsuccessful tests to failure -- we
eventually gave up), and it doesn't split along what in our competitor's
boats would be seams.

> You have also infringed on Corrans trademarked name of Rip for his clothing
> and accessory line. If you will stoop to that level to infringe on his name
> your boats will most certainly be cheap copies of his designs. You remind
> me of those people from years ago who marketed Koke Cola and thought
> that would fly

Scott, Scott, Scott. You are confusing the chicken for the egg. From whom
do you think Corran steals his ideas?

-- Chris Bell, CEO, RipItUp International

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Scott Bristow

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Apr 2, 1998, 3:00:00 AM4/2/98
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>> How the heck do you think we would fall for something like this. Most of
>> your team is not smart enough to figure out how to use two bladed paddles
>> much less design boats.
>
>Maybe so for part of our team (don't confuse our chief designer for his
Dad),
>but while that part of our team that has, on occasion, chosen, uh, novel
>lines through Sunshine when confronted with two blades, at least he always
>returns from the Green with all his equipment!


I returned with all my equipment...... My sanity is another story. Not
really I guess since I am not sure I ever had any.

Your very detailed and scientific discussion on hydrodynamics and your
chemical analysis of why your materials are the best have convinced me.

Where do I send you my $2000 check. Actually if you would give me an
address I will send cash. Deliver my boat at your convenience.

Scott Bristow

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